Try free for 30 days

  • It's Not Me, It's You

  • Impossible perfectionist, 27, seeks very very very tidy woman
  • By: Jon Richardson
  • Narrated by: Jon Richardson
  • Length: 3 hrs and 16 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (27 ratings)

1 credit a month to use on any title, yours to keep (you’ll use your first credit on this title).
Stream or download thousands of included titles.
Access to exclusive deals and discounts.
$16.45 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
It's Not Me, It's You cover art

It's Not Me, It's You

By: Jon Richardson
Narrated by: Jon Richardson
Try for $0.00

$16.45 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $15.19

Buy Now for $15.19

Pay using voucher balance (if applicable) then card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions Of Use and Privacy Notice and authorise Audible to charge your designated credit card or another available credit card on file.

Publisher's Summary

A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply). ‘I haven’t woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it’s one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.’ Jon Richardson. Is your filing faultless?

Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man…Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon’s obsessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997.

Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes. But Jon doesn’t want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

©2011 Jon Richardson (P)2011 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

What listeners say about It's Not Me, It's You

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    14
  • 4 Stars
    12
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    19
  • 4 Stars
    4
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    11
  • 4 Stars
    13
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Simply brilliant

John reminds me a little bit of myself and a lot of my daughter. I loved his truth in telling his story. I laughed and I had one moment I wanted to cry but held it in. (The boots story). What saints his mum and dad must have been, to raise someone that is totally ok with his own personality. We could all take a leaf from his book. Well done John. Can’t wait to read the rest of your books. Don’t stop writing please.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • P
  • 14-01-2023

relax Jon, its not drivel!

Funny and insightful. Jon is honest about the challenges he faces without ever descending into celebrity self pity

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Relatable and amusing

Of course Jon’s vocal display is what we are used to from him so this makes it comfortable. His anecdotes are hilarious and not just once did I feel exactly his emotions. A great tale.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Miserable and depressing

I get that it’s meant to be funny, but I found this depressing and sad. So negative and judgey. I normally enjoy Jon Richardson and his comedy, but I didn’t enjoy this.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.