Showing results by publisher "Berrett-Koehler Publishers" in Communication & Social Skills

We live, say Edgar and Peter Schein, in a culture of “tell". All too often we tell others what we think they need to know or should do. But whether we are leading or following, what matters most is we get to the truth. We have to develop a commitment to sharing vital facts and identifying faulty assumptions - it can mean the difference between success and failure. This is why we need Humble Inquiry more than ever.

In Joel's Schwartzberg's 10-plus years as a strategic communications trainer, the biggest obstacle he's come across - one that connects directly to nervousness, stammering, rambling, and epic fail - is that most speakers and writers don't have a point. They typically have just a title, a theme, a topic, an idea, an assertion, a catchphrase, or even something much less. This book shows you how to identify your point, leverage it, stick to it, and sell it and how to train others to identify and successfully make their own points.

We're trying to get something done that really matters to us. To do this we need to work with others. But these others include people we don't agree with or like or trust, so working with them seems impossible - like collaborating with the enemy. What can we do?

Harvard professor (and negotiation advisor to organizations around the world) Deepak Malhotra shows how to defuse even the most potentially explosive situations and to find success when things seem impossible. Malhotra illustrates key lessons using behind-the-scenes stories of fascinating real-life negotiations, including drafting the US Constitution, resolving the Cuban Missile Crisis, ending bitter disputes in the NFL and NHL, and beating the odds in complex business situations.

What all these challenges have in common is they require taking risks—to reveal yourself, to question your beliefs, to take a leap of faith, or to move out of your comfort zone. As a response, each chapter includes a Pro Move, or a best practice, and an exercise designed to help you overcome your fears and become a powerful communicator. Courageous communication requires self-knowledge, practice, and a fierce desire to continually improve; this book is like having an expert coach along with you for every step of the journey.

We live in conversations like fish live in water—we’re in them all the time, so we don’t think about them much. As a result, we often find ourselves stuck in cyclical patterns of unproductive behaviors. We listen half-heartedly, react emotionally, and respond habitually, like we're on autopilot. This book is a practical guide for thoughtfully reflecting on conversations so we can avoid the common pitfalls that cause our relationships and work to go sideways.

Now in a second edition, this classic book shows how to make conversations generative and productive rather than critical and destructive so people, organizations, and communities flourish. This edition has been revised throughout with new examples; updates on the latest supporting research in neuroscience, positive science, and positive psychology; and a discussion guide. It also features a new chapter on what the authors call tuning in: cultivating awareness of how our physical and mental state affect our perceptions, emotions, and thoughts as we engage in conversation.

Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight. To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way.

Competence is the most highly valued professional trait. But it’s not enough to be competent, you have to convey your competence. World-renowned negotiation and deception detection expert, business professor, and mentalist Jack Nasher offers effective, proven techniques to convince others that we are talented, trustworthy, and yes, even brilliant. With Nasher’s help you can showcase your expertise, receive the recognition you deserve, and achieve lasting success. 

Not getting what you want or living with what someone decides you deserve is exhausting and dispiriting. Linda Swindling provides principles, tactics, and strategies to help you show up powerfully to negotiate for the best deals at work and in life with confidence and integrity.

Carol Fleming wants to show you that small talk is not as “small” as you might think. It’s the foundation of every relationship, professional and personal. It is the sound of people reaching out to each other, searching for similarities, shared interests, goodwill, connections, and friendship. And it’s something we all do every day with people we know. It’s just the one little bit about strangers that throws some people off. Graceful social conversation can be learned, even by those requiring the smallest of baby steps.

Jennifer Kahnweiler offers a five-step process that will enable introverts and extroverts to work together harmoniously and achieve more than they ever could on their own. The process can be precarious. The key, Kahnweiler says, is to remember that these relationships are most successful when opposites stop emphasizing their differences and use approaches that focus them both on moving toward results.

Think about the last time you tried to talk with someone about political, social, or environmental issues who didn't already agree with you. How well did it go? These conversations are vital, but too often they get stuck, or we avoid them entirely. We retreat to our camps, frustrated that we can't move our cause forward. What if, in these difficult conversations, we could stay true to ourselves while enriching relationships and creating powerful pathways forward?

Democracy is under siege. The reason isn’t politics but personalities: Too many countries have come under the sway of high-conflict people (HCPs) who have become politicians. Most of these high-conflict politicians have traits of narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial (i.e., sociopathic) personality disorder, or both. This is the first and only guide for identifying and thwarting them.

Traditional workplace conversations - which are based on a parent-child model - stymie growth and erode commitment. The Showkeirs advocate instead authentic conversations that are based on an adult-adult model. These conversations tell the truth, let go of the illusion of control, and view people as in charge of their own motivation. The result is a conversation revolution that creates greater commitment, real accountability for results, and improved organizational performance.

Under Joe Solmonese's leadership, the Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest LGBT rights organization, became the model other organizations look toward to create effective social and political change. Beginning with a moving story of working with Matthew Shepard's mother Virginia in passing the hate crimes bill that bears Matthew's name, Solmonese shows how he discovered that channeled anger can drive a commitment to change.

Everybody's biased. We all harbor unconscious assumptions that get in the way of our good intentions and keep us from working harmoniously and effectively with other people. In our increasingly diverse society this can be a real stumbling block. Tiffany Jana and Matthew Freeman - consultants who also happen to be a biracial couple - argue that ultimately the only way to really overcome bias is to focus our energy on building relationships.

Would you rather get a root canal than face a group of strangers? Does the phrase “working a room” make you want to retreat to yours? Devora Zack, an avowed introvert and successful consultant who gives presentations to thousands of people at dozens of events annually, feels your pain. She found that other networking books assume that to succeed, you have to act like an extrovert. Not at all. There is another way.

Personal presence is difficult to define but easy to recognize. People with presence carry themselves in a way that turns heads. When they talk, people listen. When they ask, people answer. When they lead, people follow. Personal presence can help you get a date, a mate, a job, or a sale. It can help you lead a meeting, a movement, or an organization. Presence is not something you're born with - anyone can learn these skills, habits, and traits.

Our divides are destroying us: red versus blue, Black versus White, globalists versus nationalists, agnostics versus Christians. Drawing on seminal research on social identity and cultural intelligence, this book explains our impulse to divide people into “us” versus “them” and reveals how we can tackle tribalism, confront racism, and develop a common vision for the future. David Livermore outlines the four competencies of Cultural Intelligence—motivation, cognition, metacognition, and behavior—and shows how we can apply this foundation to a wide range of situations.