Showing results for "Tim-" in Humorous

This is the worst thing you can wish on a citizen of Discworld. Especially for the magically challenged Rincewind, who has already had far too much excitement in his life. Unfortunately, the unlucky wizard always seems to end up in the middle of, well, absolutely everything. So when a request for a 'Great Wizzard' arrives from the faraway Counterweight Continent, it's obviously Rincewind who's sent. For one thing, he's the only one who spells wizard that way.

Vampires do not exist. Everyone knows this. So it's particularly annoying when they start popping up around Manchester. Nobody is pleased about it. Not the Founders, the secret organisation for whom vampires were invented as an allegory, nor the Folk, the magical people hidden in plain sight who only want a quiet life. And definitely not the people of Manchester, because there is nothing more irksome than being murdered by an allegory run amok. Somebody needs to sort this out fast before all hell really breaks loose - step forward the staff of The Stranger Times.

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. You mess with it at your peril. You can let it move fast or slowly, but what you mustn't do is allow it to stop. The Monks of History have the glamorous job of time management in the Discworld. They store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater—how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd.

Dear Diary: I was reincarnated as a catgirl NPC in a dungeon. There are loops. There are marble races. There are other catgirls. What else is there? (Ice cream.) Press play and see!!!

A weekly newspaper dedicated to the weird and the wonderful (but mostly the weird), The Stranger Times is the go-to publication for the unexplained and inexplicable. At least that's their pitch. The reality is rather less auspicious. Their editor is a drunken, foul-tempered and foul-mouthed husk of a man who thinks little of the publication he edits. His staff are a ragtag group of misfits. And as for the assistant editor...well, that job is a revolving door - and it has just revolved to reveal Hannah Willis, who's got problems of her own.

My name is Buffy Martinez and I've spent my entire life training to be a wife, but when a cult is the one leading me down the aisle there is no happily-ever-after waiting for me and I end up a virgin who can't drive because my family totally sold me out to be a virgin sacrifice. Joke's on everyone who thought they could lie to me because the god they tried to sacrifice me to just claimed me as his bride. Wrath—not a god but a demon, and my devoted husband all the same.

37-year-old Satoru Mikami got a new lease on life when he was reincarnated into another world...as a slime named Rimuru Tempest. But with the help of his wits, his newfound powers, and a little luck, he's started building a cross-species village of goblins, direwolves, and dwarves! Rimuru doesn't know it yet, but his arrival is bringing major changes to his new world...

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. And on Discworld, that is the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater; how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice, Lobsang Ludd. Because it will stop time. And that will only be the start of everyone's problems.

For hundreds of years Kay and his fellow knights of the round table have been woken from their long slumber whenever Britain had need of them; they fought at Agincourt and at the Somme. But now a dragon has been seen for the first time in centuries, the realm is more divided than ever, and what's worse, there are rumours of Arthur himself returning. Kay just wants to go back to sleep. And Kay is not the only ancient thing to come crawling up out of the ground; Lancelot is back as well, with orders to track down Kay and stop him from doing anything stupid.

Stella is enjoying life as an almost student, or at least she is until a man falls from the sky right in front of her, leaving a big old hole in the pavement for Manchester Council to fill. The obvious question of how he ended up in the sky in the first place has no obvious answers, which is where The Stranger Times come in. This isn't just the hunt for another story though. Dark powers think Stella might have been involved and the only way she and the team can prove her innocence is to find out what the hell is really going on.

After a furious battle with the orc lord, peace has once again returned to the Forest of Jura. Rimuru may be heading up the Great Forest of Jura Alliance, but he's most worried about finishing his town...until a visit from King Gazel Dwargo of the dwarves turns everything upside down!

Vincent Banecroft, the irascible editor of The Stranger Times, has never believed his wife died despite emphatic evidence to the contrary. Now, against all odds, it seems he may actually be proved right; but what lengths will he go to in an attempt to rescue her?

Done with everything, this not-so-frozen-hearted lich queen is out for one final rampage, and this time, the prize is the soul of the world. Do or die. Again. The stakes are high, the board is set. More than just Maud's crafting stash is on the line. She has a fabulous skirt, bombs in her bloomers, undead minions in the millions, and an unshakable urge to murder anyone who gets in her way. If the Whisperer's brain wasn't getting eaten by parasites he'd probably be terrified.

Brian Duffy, aging soldier of fortune, had been hired in Venice by a strange old man who called himself Aurelianus Ambrosius. He was supposed to go to Vienna and act as bouncer at an inn where the fabulous Herzwesten beer was brewed. That was clear enough. But why was he guided and guarded on the trip by creatures from the ancient legends? Why should he be attacked by ifrits and saved by mythical dwarfs? What was so important about the Herzwesten beer to the Fisher King—whoever he was?

For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. For Commander Sam Vimes, it all feels horribly familiar. Caught on the roof of a very magical building during a storm, he's found himself back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard, especially when your time travel companion is a serial killer who knows where you live.

For most people, that means a time of celebration, relaxation and inebriation, but not for the staff of The Stranger Times. While a book club meeting ending in a triple murder isn’t unprecedented, it is at least noteworthy. It quickly emerges that this is no ordinary book-club-triple-murder either, as it features a librarian possessed by a chaotic entity who has broken through from another dimension and is hellbent on vengeance.

Davi isn't your average zoomer. For starters, she's somehow become trapped in a fantasy world - and not one full of rainbows and unicorns, but one packed with all manner of terrifying monsters and deadly magic. Proper Lord of the Rings stuff. And, for reasons unknown, the humans of the Kingdom look to her for protection against the Dark Lord. To make matters worse, Davi's stuck in a time loop. So every time she fails to defeat the Dark Lord (which is every time) she has to start over. But Davi has a plan. What if instead of trying to defeat the Dark Lord...she becomes the Dark Lord instead?

Guess who got turned into a real dungeon-crawling player? Me! No more sitting around waiting for people to show up! There are floors to explore, friends to make, and fluffy wolves to snuggle.

In a 1920s-esque America, Prohibition is in force, fedoras, flapper dresses and tommy guns are in fashion and intrigue is afoot. Intrepid librarians Irene and Kai find themselves caught in the middle of a dragon vs dragon contest. It seems a young librarian has become tangled in this conflict, and if they can't extricate him, there could be serious political repercussions for the mysterious library. And, as the balance of power across mighty factions hangs in the balance, this could even trigger war.

Cultivation is all fun and games. Until someone kills Merlin. Apparently, the only logical response to this fairly important change to Arthurian lore is for me to be reincarnated into Dark Age Cornwall. But don't worry, I have an absolute understanding of feudal power dynamics, Qi cycling, and anti-Saxon spell flinging. Oh, I also lie a lot. There's just the smallest chance that our timeline is doomed.