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In this episode, I’m joined by William Porter, author of Alcohol Explained, who brings a wealth of experience and science to our conversation around sober curiosity and alcohol’s true impact. William is our very first international male guest, and his honest, evidence-based approach to alcohol is both enlightening and empowering.

We talk through William’s personal journey with drinking, which began in his early teens and intensified through his years serving in Iraq, training as a lawyer, and living in London. He shares how alcohol took root in his life, and how he eventually broke free by educating himself - rather than relying on sheer willpower.

One of the most powerful insights William offers is about alcohol’s actual chemical effect on the brain. He explains how drinking leads to a short-term dopamine spike, but what follows is a sedative response that impacts mood, anxiety levels and energy. It’s not just about the drink - it’s about how alcohol rewires our ability to feel OK in our everyday lives.

We also dive into how alcohol severely disrupts REM sleep, even in small amounts, and how that affects long-term mental health. William talks through the subtle signs of alcohol dependence and withdrawal, and why so many of us fall into the trap of drinking without realising how deep it's impacting our wellbeing.

I especially loved our discussion around something called the “fading effect bias” - that tendency to remember the good times with alcohol and forget the consequences. This is something so many of us can relate to when we look back with rose-coloured glasses, only to forget the anxiety, regret or poor sleep that followed.

William also challenges the myth that quitting drinking is purely about willpower. Instead, he offers a refreshing take: it’s about gaining the knowledge to change how we view alcohol. When we understand what’s really going on in our bodies and minds, our desire to drink begins to fade. It’s no longer a battle - it becomes a decision rooted in truth.

Towards the end of our chat, William reflects on the changing attitudes around drinking, particularly in corporate spaces like the City of London, and how that shift mirrors what many of us are feeling. There’s a slow but powerful wave of change happening - and we’re part of it.

To close the episode, I ask William a fun question about who he’d love to invite to dinner. His answers? The Duke of Wellington, Winston Churchill, and Tom Hardy. A strong, fascinating trio to say the least!

This episode is packed with insight, science, and encouragement. If you’ve ever questioned your drinking habits, struggled with sleep, or wondered if there’s more to life beyond the glass, I know you’ll take so much from this chat.

Key Takeaways and Actions

• Alcohol doesn’t relax us - it sedates us, disrupting our brain chemistry and spiking anxiety afterwards
• Even small amounts of alcohol interfere with REM sleep, leading to long-term tiredness, mood swings, and poor memory
• The “rose-tinted memory” effect keeps us stuck in the illusion that alcohol brought us joy
• Willpower alone won’t work - educating yourself and shifting your mindset is the true key to freedom
• Notice the moments that trigger your desire to drink, like airports or social events, and use tools like "playing the tape forward" to stay aligned with how you want to feel

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Hi lovely, and welcome back to Sober-ish Sparkle! I’m Belinda Stark, and in this bite-sized solo episode, I’m diving into something so many of us sober and sober-curious women struggle with: socialising without alcohol.

Recently, I attended a business retreat – almost two and a half years into sobriety – and I found myself experiencing some serious social anxiety. I share what came up for me, how I unpacked it, and why it’s so important to challenge the internal stories we tell ourselves when we’re in social settings where alcohol flows freely.

Whether you’re newly sober, curious about cutting back, or simply want to feel more confident navigating nights out without alcohol, this episode is packed with practical, real-life tips to support you.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• Why it’s totally normal to feel socially awkward when you're not drinking
• How to reframe social anxiety as a cue - not a craving
• My personal reflection from a recent retreat and what it taught me about mindset
• The difference between urges and discomfort (and how to recognise both)
• 10 actionable, easy-to-implement strategies to help you show up confidently in drinking environments

Key Takeaways & Actions:

1. Have a Script Ready – Learn polite, assertive (and even funny!) ways to say "no thanks" when offered a drink.
2. Plan Your Drink – Scope the bar or drinks menu ahead of time or BYO alcohol-free bubbles.
3. Avoid the Rounds Trap – Don’t get caught in shout culture if you’re trying to moderate or stay dry.
4. Use the Bathroom as a Reset – Step away, breathe deeply, and recenter when it all feels too much.
5. Reframe the Moment – Recognise social anxiety and shift the focus from fear to curiosity.
6. Play the Tape Forward – A powerful mental strategy to help you visualise how you’ll feel tomorrow.
7. Create an Exit Plan – Have a graceful excuse ready to leave early if needed (no guilt!).
8. Keep a Glass in Your Hand – This simple trick helps avoid awkward questions and blends you in.
9. Use Affirmations & Mantras – "I choose clarity over cocktails" is one of my faves.
10. Remember Your Why – You don’t have to justify it, but you can celebrate it.

Whether you’re sipping sparkling water or a beautifully garnished AF mocktail, your presence and clarity are the real party starters.

If this episode gave you even one helpful tip, I’d love you to screenshot and share it, leave a review, or send it to someone who’s exploring sobriety or moderation.

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In this powerful episode of Sober(ish) Sparkle, I sit down with bestselling author and sobriety advocate Clare Pooley for a raw and uplifting conversation about life before and after alcohol. Clare opens up about her gradual slide into high-functioning drinking, her decision to stop, and how that choice unlocked not just her health, but a new creative career and deeper self-worth.

Clare is best known for her internationally acclaimed blog Mummy Was a Secret Drinker, her memoir The Sober Diaries, and her bestselling novels The Authenticity Project, The People on Platform 5, and her newest release How to Age Disgracefully. We talk through her sober journey, the challenges of letting go of the ‘fun party girl’ identity, and how she found clarity, creativity, and true confidence in sobriety.

Together, we explore:

• The silent toll of high-functioning alcohol use in motherhood and career
• How alcohol masked Clare’s anxiety, exhaustion, and sense of self
• Her experience of quitting alcohol in secret and starting a blog anonymously
• The healing power of writing and how it transformed her life
• The identity shift that comes with sobriety and how to navigate social pressure
• Filling the “wine o’clock” void with hobbies, purpose, and healthier dopamine hits
• What it's like raising children with a new lens on alcohol
• Tools and rituals that supported early sobriety (and still do!)
• Using her sober toolbox to manage anxiety and even a breast cancer diagnosis
• Why quitting alcohol is the gateway to discovering your truest self

Clare’s words are warm, honest, and reassuring, and she brings a beautiful mix of British humour and real-world wisdom to the sober conversation. If you’re exploring your relationship with alcohol or already walking the sober path, this episode will remind you that freedom, creativity, and clarity are waiting for you too.

✨ This conversation is a must-listen for women in midlife navigating sobriety, self-worth, and what comes next.

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In this episode of Sober-ish Sparkle, I sit down with the fabulous Vic Vanstone – co-host of the Sober Awkward podcast and author of A Thousand Wasted Sundays. Vic brings her signature humour, heart, and hard-won wisdom to a raw and real conversation about grey area drinking, motherhood, social pressure, and how sobriety transformed her life.

We explore Vic’s journey from weekend binge drinking to writing, podcasting, and thriving on the Sunshine Coast. She opens up about feeling like she didn’t “qualify” for help because she wasn’t at rock bottom – and why she now champions a new narrative around what it means to question your relationship with alcohol.

In this episode, we unpack:

• What grey area drinking really looks like – and why so many women relate
• How cultural conditioning and family patterns shape our drinking habits
• Vic’s experience navigating early sobriety while parenting young kids
• The lie of “moderation” and why some of us just can’t drink less
• Creating new social scaffolding without booze
• How anxiety, alcohol, and identity collide in midlife
• Why asking for help before rock bottom is not just okay – it’s brave
• The power of humour and storytelling in making sobriety relatable
• Vic’s writing journey and how giving up alcohol unlocked her creativity
• Tips for handling “unexpected alcohol” in everyday situations

We also chat about ditching shame, embracing awkwardness, and how the most unexpected benefits of sobriety often come from just getting curious. Vic’s story is a breath of fresh air – down-to-earth, deeply relatable, and proof that a joyful alcohol-free life is not only possible, it’s bloody brilliant.

Whether you're already sober or just dipping your toe into the curious end of things, this episode will leave you feeling seen, empowered, and less alone.

✨ Want more support on your journey?
Join the waitlist for my 1-month course Winter Warm-Up: Get Your Sober Sparkle – created especially for midlife women ready to explore a more energised, clear-headed way of living.

📝 Read Vic’s book A Thousand Wasted Sundays or tune into the Sober Awkward podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

You don’t have to hit rock bottom to want something different – you just have to start asking better questions.

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Welcome to this solo episode of Sober'ish' Sparkle with me, Belinda Stark – your guide through all things sober curious, midlife, and meaningful.

In this heartfelt and honest chat, I dive into one of the most common questions I get asked: “How do I know if I’m drinking too much?” If you’re a midlife woman quietly wondering whether alcohol is still serving you – this episode is for you.

I unpack the subtle signs that might indicate your drinking is no longer aligned with how you want to feel – physically, emotionally, or mentally. I talk about my own experiences, the sneaky patterns many of us fall into (like drinking to relax, sleep, or socialise), and the turning points that often lead us to reassess our relationship with alcohol.

We’ll explore:

• Why questioning your drinking is actually a sign of strength (not weakness)
• The role of midlife stressors and how alcohol becomes a coping tool
• The myth of alcohol helping us sleep – and what really happens to our rest and energy
• The emotional toll of “just one more glass” and that 3am wake-up anxiety
• How the brain and body respond to alcohol (spoiler alert: they’re screaming for balance)
• Why we drink more than we plan to – and what that could be telling us
• Reframing the idea of alcohol as a reward – and what true self-care looks like

If you’ve been hiding your drinking, justifying it to yourself, or finding it hard to cut back – please know you’re not alone. In fact, many midlife women sit in the “grey area” of drinking – functioning on the outside, but silently questioning on the inside.

This episode isn’t about shame or labels. It’s about getting curious, trusting your intuition, and gently opening the door to something different.

You don’t need to hit rock bottom to want change. Sometimes the quiet whisper is enough.

If this conversation speaks to you, my Winter Warm-Up: Get Your Sober Sparkle course may be just the nudge you need. It’s a one-month guided experience for women in midlife who want to feel clearer, stronger, and more like themselves again – with zero judgement and lots of support.

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Welcome back to Season 5 of Sober'ish' Sparkle! In this powerful episode, I chat with the vibrant and courageous Michelle, a life coach, mum, and wellness advocate who’s been sober since October 2021. We explore how she moved from glamorising her wine o’clock to embracing a deeply fulfilling alcohol-free life – with honesty, vulnerability, and a whole lot of heart.

Michelle opens up about how a 90-day alcohol-free challenge became the turning point she needed. We talk about the myth of the “rock bottom”, the grey area of drinking, and how little, shitty days can pile up until you finally say, “enough is enough”. If you’ve ever woken up at 3am full of regret and anxiety, wondering how you’re going to get through another day, this episode is for you.

We also dig into:

• The role of community and connection in early sobriety
• Navigating social events, holidays and fitness culture alcohol-free
• The power of “playing it forward” to overcome cravings
• How alcohol can mask deeper issues like self-worth
• Why milestones like your first sober Christmas or birthday matter
• Redefining celebrations without champagne
• Modelling a healthier relationship with alcohol for our kids
• The importance of doing “the work” and finding your own toolkit

Michelle’s story is a beautiful reminder that sobriety isn’t about restriction – it’s about expansion. It’s about learning to trust yourself again, to break cycles, and to discover the version of you that doesn’t need booze to feel worthy, fun, or free.

Whether you’re sober, sober curious, or simply asking yourself “is this really working for me anymore?”, Michelle’s insight will help you feel seen and supported.

💛 Want more support? My 1-month course, Winter Warm-Up: Get Your Sober Sparkle is coming soon! Perfect for midlife women ready to feel clearer, lighter, and more energised – without the guilt. Join the waitlist via the link in the show notes or at belindastark.com.

✨ Let’s connect! If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with a friend, or come say hi over on Instagram @belindastark_. Your story matters – and I’m so glad you’re here.

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Hello and welcome to the very first episode of Sober'ish' Sparkle - the podcast formerly known as Embrace Midlife. I’m Belinda Stark, and I’m so excited to kick off this brand new season with you.

In this introductory episode, I share why I’ve rebranded the show, what “sober-ish” really means to me, and how getting curious about my drinking helped me reconnect with my sparkle - both inside and out. Whether you're sober, sober curious, or just rethinking your relationship with alcohol, you’re in the right place.

This new season is packed with honest chats, inspiring stories, and expert insights from people around the world - many of whom I never imagined would say yes to being on the pod. (Spoiler: they did!)

✨ What I Talk About in This Episode:

• Why I changed the name of the podcast - and what “sober-ish” actually means
• How I slowly changed my relationship with alcohol in early 2023
• What “sparkle” means to me (and why it’s not about glitter)
• The role alcohol played in dimming my intuition and inner voice
• Reconnecting with joy, energy, and self-trust after cutting back on drinking
• Sneak peeks at this season’s incredible guests - from bestselling authors to fellow sober mums
• Why I believe you don’t need to go “all or nothing” to explore sobriety
• Details about my upcoming course: Get Your Sober Sparkle – Winter Warm-Up Edition

📚 Authors + Books I Mention:

1. Claire Pooley – The Sober Diaries
   A funny, raw, and relatable look at early sobriety and motherhood.
2. William Porter – Alcohol Explained
   A practical, science-backed breakdown of what alcohol does to your body and mind—written in a clear, accessible way.
3. Victoria Vanstone – 1000 Wasted Sundays
   An honest, often hilarious memoir about parenting, partying, and finding clarity. Victoria also co-hosts the Sober Awkward podcast.

🖥️ My Signature Course – Get Your Sober Sparkle

✨ The Winter Warm-Up edition kicks off late June!
It’s a one-month group program that includes:

• Simple weekly videos + worksheets
• A toolkit of resources to help you take a mindful break from alcohol
• Live calls with me (optional but lovely!)
• Support from other women who are also “sober-ish” or exploring change

Join the waitlist now to get early access and exclusive bonuses:
👉 www.belindastark.com

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In this episode, I’m continuing the story of my drinking career—and more importantly, what came after. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I don’t think I have a problem, but I don’t think this is working anymore,” this one’s for you.

I’m talking about what those early days looked like when I stopped drinking—and spoiler: it wasn’t all green juice and yoga. There were tears, triggers, and plenty of weird moments (like crying in Coles over oat milk). But over time, something shifted. I started sleeping better, thinking more clearly, and reconnecting with things I loved as a kid—like dancing, reading, and just feeling things again.

In Part 2, I’m sharing all of it: the grief, the glow-up, the mental clarity, the money savings, and the unexpected joys of living life alcohol-free—on my terms.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why I never say “never again” and how a neutral mindset helped me stay curious
• How “quit lit” and memoirs helped me feel less alone—and made me laugh (and cringe)
• What I do when my sober toolkit doesn’t seem to work
• Why alcohol and menopause are not a cute combo
• All the unexpected benefits: sleep, skin, sparkle, confidence, energy (and cash!)
• What “sober sparkle” means to me and how you can start finding yours too
• Plus: what’s next for this podcast and a sneak peek at my upcoming course

Mentions & Links:

• 🎧 The podcast is now officially Sober-ish Sparkle with Belinda Stark
• 💻 My next Get Your Sober Sparkle group course kicks off in late June (Winter Warm-Up Edition!)
• 📚 Want quit lit recs? Just DM me—I’ve got a long list!

Let’s stay in touch:
💌 Got a story or question? Reach out—I always love hearing from you.
📲 Come say hi on Instagram: @belindastark_
🌐 More about coaching, the course, and other good stuff: www.belindastark.com
⭐️ If this episode resonated, it would mean the world if you subscribed or left a review—it helps more women find the sparkle.

Coming Up:
A fresh season of Sober-ish Sparkle is just getting started. I’ve got some brilliant guests lined up—including a couples episode with my husband (yes, really). Can’t wait to share it with you. ✨