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In this episode, I’m joined by William Porter, author of Alcohol Explained, who brings a wealth of experience and science to our conversation around sober curiosity and alcohol’s true impact. William is our very first international male guest, and his honest, evidence-based approach to alcohol is both enlightening and empowering.

We talk through William’s personal journey with drinking, which began in his early teens and intensified through his years serving in Iraq, training as a lawyer, and living in London. He shares how alcohol took root in his life, and how he eventually broke free by educating himself - rather than relying on sheer willpower.

One of the most powerful insights William offers is about alcohol’s actual chemical effect on the brain. He explains how drinking leads to a short-term dopamine spike, but what follows is a sedative response that impacts mood, anxiety levels and energy. It’s not just about the drink - it’s about how alcohol rewires our ability to feel OK in our everyday lives.

We also dive into how alcohol severely disrupts REM sleep, even in small amounts, and how that affects long-term mental health. William talks through the subtle signs of alcohol dependence and withdrawal, and why so many of us fall into the trap of drinking without realising how deep it's impacting our wellbeing.

I especially loved our discussion around something called the “fading effect bias” - that tendency to remember the good times with alcohol and forget the consequences. This is something so many of us can relate to when we look back with rose-coloured glasses, only to forget the anxiety, regret or poor sleep that followed.

William also challenges the myth that quitting drinking is purely about willpower. Instead, he offers a refreshing take: it’s about gaining the knowledge to change how we view alcohol. When we understand what’s really going on in our bodies and minds, our desire to drink begins to fade. It’s no longer a battle - it becomes a decision rooted in truth.

Towards the end of our chat, William reflects on the changing attitudes around drinking, particularly in corporate spaces like the City of London, and how that shift mirrors what many of us are feeling. There’s a slow but powerful wave of change happening - and we’re part of it.

To close the episode, I ask William a fun question about who he’d love to invite to dinner. His answers? The Duke of Wellington, Winston Churchill, and Tom Hardy. A strong, fascinating trio to say the least!

This episode is packed with insight, science, and encouragement. If you’ve ever questioned your drinking habits, struggled with sleep, or wondered if there’s more to life beyond the glass, I know you’ll take so much from this chat.

Key Takeaways and Actions

• Alcohol doesn’t relax us - it sedates us, disrupting our brain chemistry and spiking anxiety afterwards
• Even small amounts of alcohol interfere with REM sleep, leading to long-term tiredness, mood swings, and poor memory
• The “rose-tinted memory” effect keeps us stuck in the illusion that alcohol brought us joy
• Willpower alone won’t work - educating yourself and shifting your mindset is the true key to freedom
• Notice the moments that trigger your desire to drink, like airports or social events, and use tools like "playing the tape forward" to stay aligned with how you want to feel

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Hi lovely, and welcome back to Sober-ish Sparkle! I’m Belinda Stark, and in this bite-sized solo episode, I’m diving into something so many of us sober and sober-curious women struggle with: socialising without alcohol.

Recently, I attended a business retreat – almost two and a half years into sobriety – and I found myself experiencing some serious social anxiety. I share what came up for me, how I unpacked it, and why it’s so important to challenge the internal stories we tell ourselves when we’re in social settings where alcohol flows freely.

Whether you’re newly sober, curious about cutting back, or simply want to feel more confident navigating nights out without alcohol, this episode is packed with practical, real-life tips to support you.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• Why it’s totally normal to feel socially awkward when you're not drinking
• How to reframe social anxiety as a cue - not a craving
• My personal reflection from a recent retreat and what it taught me about mindset
• The difference between urges and discomfort (and how to recognise both)
• 10 actionable, easy-to-implement strategies to help you show up confidently in drinking environments

Key Takeaways & Actions:

1. Have a Script Ready – Learn polite, assertive (and even funny!) ways to say "no thanks" when offered a drink.
2. Plan Your Drink – Scope the bar or drinks menu ahead of time or BYO alcohol-free bubbles.
3. Avoid the Rounds Trap – Don’t get caught in shout culture if you’re trying to moderate or stay dry.
4. Use the Bathroom as a Reset – Step away, breathe deeply, and recenter when it all feels too much.
5. Reframe the Moment – Recognise social anxiety and shift the focus from fear to curiosity.
6. Play the Tape Forward – A powerful mental strategy to help you visualise how you’ll feel tomorrow.
7. Create an Exit Plan – Have a graceful excuse ready to leave early if needed (no guilt!).
8. Keep a Glass in Your Hand – This simple trick helps avoid awkward questions and blends you in.
9. Use Affirmations & Mantras – "I choose clarity over cocktails" is one of my faves.
10. Remember Your Why – You don’t have to justify it, but you can celebrate it.

Whether you’re sipping sparkling water or a beautifully garnished AF mocktail, your presence and clarity are the real party starters.

If this episode gave you even one helpful tip, I’d love you to screenshot and share it, leave a review, or send it to someone who’s exploring sobriety or moderation.

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In this powerful episode of Sober(ish) Sparkle, I sit down with bestselling author and sobriety advocate Clare Pooley for a raw and uplifting conversation about life before and after alcohol. Clare opens up about her gradual slide into high-functioning drinking, her decision to stop, and how that choice unlocked not just her health, but a new creative career and deeper self-worth.

Clare is best known for her internationally acclaimed blog Mummy Was a Secret Drinker, her memoir The Sober Diaries, and her bestselling novels The Authenticity Project, The People on Platform 5, and her newest release How to Age Disgracefully. We talk through her sober journey, the challenges of letting go of the ‘fun party girl’ identity, and how she found clarity, creativity, and true confidence in sobriety.

Together, we explore:

• The silent toll of high-functioning alcohol use in motherhood and career
• How alcohol masked Clare’s anxiety, exhaustion, and sense of self
• Her experience of quitting alcohol in secret and starting a blog anonymously
• The healing power of writing and how it transformed her life
• The identity shift that comes with sobriety and how to navigate social pressure
• Filling the “wine o’clock” void with hobbies, purpose, and healthier dopamine hits
• What it's like raising children with a new lens on alcohol
• Tools and rituals that supported early sobriety (and still do!)
• Using her sober toolbox to manage anxiety and even a breast cancer diagnosis
• Why quitting alcohol is the gateway to discovering your truest self

Clare’s words are warm, honest, and reassuring, and she brings a beautiful mix of British humour and real-world wisdom to the sober conversation. If you’re exploring your relationship with alcohol or already walking the sober path, this episode will remind you that freedom, creativity, and clarity are waiting for you too.

✨ This conversation is a must-listen for women in midlife navigating sobriety, self-worth, and what comes next.