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Hi lovely, and welcome back to Sober-ish Sparkle! I’m Belinda Stark, and in this bite-sized solo episode, I’m diving into something so many of us sober and sober-curious women struggle with: socialising without alcohol.

Recently, I attended a business retreat – almost two and a half years into sobriety – and I found myself experiencing some serious social anxiety. I share what came up for me, how I unpacked it, and why it’s so important to challenge the internal stories we tell ourselves when we’re in social settings where alcohol flows freely.

Whether you’re newly sober, curious about cutting back, or simply want to feel more confident navigating nights out without alcohol, this episode is packed with practical, real-life tips to support you.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• Why it’s totally normal to feel socially awkward when you're not drinking
• How to reframe social anxiety as a cue - not a craving
• My personal reflection from a recent retreat and what it taught me about mindset
• The difference between urges and discomfort (and how to recognise both)
• 10 actionable, easy-to-implement strategies to help you show up confidently in drinking environments

Key Takeaways & Actions:

1. Have a Script Ready – Learn polite, assertive (and even funny!) ways to say "no thanks" when offered a drink.
2. Plan Your Drink – Scope the bar or drinks menu ahead of time or BYO alcohol-free bubbles.
3. Avoid the Rounds Trap – Don’t get caught in shout culture if you’re trying to moderate or stay dry.
4. Use the Bathroom as a Reset – Step away, breathe deeply, and recenter when it all feels too much.
5. Reframe the Moment – Recognise social anxiety and shift the focus from fear to curiosity.
6. Play the Tape Forward – A powerful mental strategy to help you visualise how you’ll feel tomorrow.
7. Create an Exit Plan – Have a graceful excuse ready to leave early if needed (no guilt!).
8. Keep a Glass in Your Hand – This simple trick helps avoid awkward questions and blends you in.
9. Use Affirmations & Mantras – "I choose clarity over cocktails" is one of my faves.
10. Remember Your Why – You don’t have to justify it, but you can celebrate it.

Whether you’re sipping sparkling water or a beautifully garnished AF mocktail, your presence and clarity are the real party starters.

If this episode gave you even one helpful tip, I’d love you to screenshot and share it, leave a review, or send it to someone who’s exploring sobriety or moderation.