Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

Death is just a day job you can’t quit…Emma and Mark had a bad day. The worst part of it was dying. But, according to Death, the Rider on the Pale Horse and first horseman of the apocalypse, things aren’t that simple. Turns out the sand in their hourglass is stuck in place. Somewhere between life and death, they’re put to work as Death’s assistants, reaping the souls of the living until it’s time for their final clock out…To compound matters, despite their omnipotence, the four horsemen are facing an existential threat – one they’re ill-equipped and ill-prepared to combat.

Max was just an ordinary half-elf, living a peaceful life in the garden—until the ground beneath him gave way, plunging him into the depths of a dungeon like no other. Trapped in a labyrinth of danger and magic, Max must fight his way through ten levels, each guarded by powerful monsters, to survive. Along the way, he discovers ancient magic hidden within the dungeon’s walls, unlocking a part of himself he never knew existed—his elven heritage.

When Aesca Lampi wakes up in the form of her character from Eldest Fantasy Wars Online, she's annoyed by the historical inaccuracies. (Video-game-style scrolls? Really?) That is, until a building collapses on top of her, revealing she's on a fantastical island centered around the impossibly tall, glowing Tower of Aetherius . . . with an array of dangerous creatures—including jaguar hybrids, velociraptors, and giant, flesh-eating lizards—in the way. (Oh, joy.)

Moist von Lipwig was a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet. It was a tough decision. But he's got to see that the mail gets though, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer. Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.

Stella is enjoying life as an almost student, or at least she is until a man falls from the sky right in front of her, leaving a big old hole in the pavement for Manchester Council to fill. The obvious question of how he ended up in the sky in the first place has no obvious answers, which is where The Stranger Times come in. This isn't just the hunt for another story though. Dark powers think Stella might have been involved and the only way she and the team can prove her innocence is to find out what the hell is really going on.

On Earth, the scrawny Orrin may have been a big nothing, but he had a bigger buddy in his athletic bestie, Daniel. They were inseparable, like two sides of the same coin. But when a tragic accident transported them to an RPG-like reality, that coin got seriously flipped.

Adventurers seek dungeons for riches. Heroes storm great fortresses. Gods clash far above. Arek cooks lasagna and tops it with a dash of finely chopped basil. An orc who has seen more than his fair amount of fighting, Arek wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his days cooking and away from the chaos of combat. However, when Ming and her group of adventurers hire him as their full-time chef, his plans of avoiding violence crumble. He longs to leave his blood-soaked mistakes in his past, but old friends and foes have different ideas.

I gave myself to the dragon king, prepared to become his mate to protect my sisters. But that's not why he wanted me. He just needs my help breaking a prisoner in his cell, to keep his people safe. And he doesn't want me to risk my life to do it. When it becomes clear that's the only way? I take it upon myself to make it happen, and almost get myself killed. That's when the truth comes out: I'm his fated mate.

After several years as a vampire, starting a business, founding his own clan, and proposing to his girlfriend, Fred is finally beginning to settle into life as an undead accountant. Unfortunately, not everyone is happy about his continued survival, or the dangerous friends he's made along the way. The Blood Council has dispatched a representative to determine if Fred is fit for the position he currently fills as head of a clan, and the stakes for failure are deathly serious. Worse, Fred will have to muddle through without the help of Krystal, who is off on a mysterious task of her own.

Not long ago, all Belissar wanted was to be left in peace to tend his apiaries. But that ended when Ruckanos, the brutish son of the local lord, slaughtered his village to make way for his new tower. Rescued by a bee—who happened to be a core—the one-time beekeeper then became king of his own bee realm. Belissar quickly learned how to thrive not only as a leader but as a fighter, using his winged minions to battle the dreaded Hunger that threatens all life. Now, aided by the mystical bear folk who share their knowledge and wisdom with him, he must continue to grow.

Rico Kline is finding that the life of a summoned being isn’t an easy one. At any moment he could be summoned to another world and ordered to participate in a battle, be experimented on by strange species, or even babysit a deadly monster. His life on Earth isn’t any easier, as mysterious people and organizations try to track him down for their own nefarious purposes. Despite the dangers, Rico’s power continues to grow as the system rewards his efforts.

When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with her own terms. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she's not about to make this easy for him. Arabella has already survived her father's tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Being abducted by the realm's most notorious villain is just another Tuesday.

Between leading a coven of powerful, sexy, and often ridiculous witches, fighting off zealot Holy Knights with divine weapons, and dealing with the chaos of his always complicated love life, he’s barely keeping his head above water.

For most people, that means a time of celebration, relaxation and inebriation, but not for the staff of The Stranger Times. While a book club meeting ending in a triple murder isn’t unprecedented, it is at least noteworthy. It quickly emerges that this is no ordinary book-club-triple-murder either, as it features a librarian possessed by a chaotic entity who has broken through from another dimension and is hellbent on vengeance.

A desperate mother. A dubious escort. And a deranged author who won’t leave them alone. Caroline Lindley is determined that her new romance novel will be her best one yet. Fantasy! Formal gowns! Fencing! And, of course, a twentysomething heroine to star in an enemies-to-lovers plot with all of Caroline’s favourite tropes. But Lady Rosamund Hawkhurst is a thirty-six-year-old widow with two children, her sole focus is facilitating a peace treaty between her adopted nation and her homeland, and she flatly refuses to take the correct approach to there being only one bed. What’s an author to do?

The Summer Court princess has never failed to end the curse that ravages Faerie every hundred years, until now. The responsibility has fallen on the Fall princess, Aribella, to stop the poison destroying her realm: she must go to Ethereum to fetch the heart of one of its dark lords, or her people will perish.

Del Roosevelt, Champion of the Midden. The first creature smart enough, strong enough, fast enough to advance in who knows how long, immediately finds himself in jail. Well, technically, it's a dungeon, but he's spent enough time putting people behind bars to recognize when he ends up there, too. Now, our little furry force needs to work the system and escape to Ratopolis with the one ally he has left.

In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him. He took a nap, but he is awake once more.

A devil, a familiar, and magic gone wild—Tam’s life is more than a little complicated! Can he turn the chaos into triumph, or will it drag him someplace far darker? Having narrowly escaped capture by the Zinferan army, Tam, Eli, and Luca find themselves on the run. Their goal? Find a way home to Daxaria. Preferably alive! But as Tam carries on his family legacy, he continues to land himself in a whole cauldron of hot water!

Fate is a word that springs to the lips when to call something coincidence seems mealy mouthed. Destiny is another such. But the problem with destiny is, of course, that she is not always careful where she points her finger. One minute you might be minding your own business on a normal, if not spectacular, career path; the next you might be in the frame for the big job. Like saving the world.