Sometimes it's hard to feel like you will ever be more than just a collection of all your mistakes and lows. Recently it's felt like I'm constantly outrunning my genetics, even waiting for the other shoe to drop, feeling like I'm waiting for my friends and partner to realize who I really am and leave me. This anxiety of feeling like I'll never be more than the valleys of my mental health finally caught up with me and I fell into mental breakdown. During which I spewed hurtful things about myself and my partner. In this episode I share insights from a new rock bottom and truly embrace the feeling that the only place left to go is up. Tune in for an utterly real look at my life and with it I hope you can find solace in knowing you aren't alone and all tough things are temporary.

Eating disorders and the people who have them are often misunderstood. Everybody’s story is different but I hope sharing mine humanizes the issue a bit more. I hope if you can relate and are listening I hope this episode proves growth and healing is possible, if you know someone struggling offer them as much patience and grace as you can. This part of my past will always be with me as a marker for how far I’ve come, and it’ll always be a reminder of the things I’ve gone through and what made me who I am today, but that’s all I will let it be, a reminder of my strength—no longer a silent judging dictator of my actions or my feelings of worth. I can’t wait to further update y’all with a future episode reflecting on how much I’ve grown from this. Enjoy Lovies, and as always feel free to share your story with me.

Welcome back Lovebugs, join me for lucky episode number 11! As someone who has struggled with friendship for all my life and just now seem to finally be getting the hang of it, this episode was really special to make. In this episode I explore some painful lessons of the past that I'm now happy to share to hopefully save you guys from making some of the same mistakes I did. I hope you guys enjoy!

While planning, writing, and filming this episode, I felt the anxiety of the inevitable changes that are to come. But through the creative process I saw the number 999 several times. This is a number I've rarely seen before and I finally decided to look it up. "999: signifies completion and new beginnings. It urges you to trust the process of life, brings closure to what's no longer meat for you, and encourages reflection and growth. Embrace change, practice non-resistance, and remain open hearted". I was shocked to read the accuracy of the message, but at the same time not surprised at all. I feel like the signs are always there we just have to slow down enough to see them, and take time to quiet the mind enough to hear them. I'm still human and therefore still terrified at the unknown, my stomach is still doing loops at the thought of the change and shake up my life is about to experience, and it's hard realizing there's nothing you can really do to prepare. However, I know it'll be okay, especially with you guys right here with me. So please, tune in for my favorite episode I've made, I hope you enjoy.

For this week's pot of gold, a special Saint Patty's episode. I first have to give homage to my grandfather, as today would have been his birthday and I do feel he helped empowered me in so many ways to start this podcast and share these messages.

How many times have I had a stressful night at work and then went out and got drinks with friends, so I didn't take off my make up when I went home, then woke up late feeling sick, didn't get what I wanted to done, and then felt regretful? The answer...enough times to notice a pattern. But, in the same way how many times have I woke up made myself a good breakfast, listened to my favorite music getting ready, gave money to someone on the street, then been blessed by something from the universe like a free drink from my favorite cafe, or running into a friend? The answer...more than enough times to be a coincidence. To make my point (and the long story even longer) good begets good, bad begets bad, listen to this episode and learn what we an do about it and how to lead a more fulfilling and joyful life.

Join me for this rather reflective episode. Life is not always good and often when it's bad we feel stuck, in a hole, unable to see how things will turn around and get better. Slowly but surely we climb out and rise above and before we even realize it we are in the shining sun again. Sometimes we fall back down, but just keep holding on it'll get better, it's always darkest before dawn. This birthday was an emotional time in life that forced me to pause and see how far I've come and how much I've changed. I hope this episode can offer you some encouragement and peace, as we go through the years. I can't wait to spend many more birthdays with you my Lovebug family.

There are so many messages out there that tell us who we are, who we should be, what we need, why we should change, but I believe inside all of us there is a quiet knowing and our own compass, so this episode is here to tell you to listen to that. This episode isn't going to tell you to do anything other than believe in yourself, be kind to yourself, and do what's right for you. After the last two heavy episodes I figured it was time for some fun and encouragement, I definitely let my personality shine through a bit more on this one, so I hope this feels more like two friends catching up. Enjoy Lovebugs, and be well.

This episode serves as some raw, unfiltered truth. Sometimes even when you feel like you are doing everything right, life still does not give you a break, but it's true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger--or at the very least makes for a good story. A bit of a more melancholy episode for this Monday, but the message remains the same no matter the mood or circumstances Lovebugs: you are worth it, you are capable, you are deserving of great things, you have the power to make a difference.