Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humourous Fiction

Can you keep a secret? Stella Batts has a lot of secrets to keep these days - there's the secret of what really happened to her little sister's pet fish, and there's the secret school project she's working on with her friend Lucy, and there's the secret on the second floor of her family's candy store. Actually, Stella doesn't know the candy store secret yet, because her dad won't tell her. Even though she's eight years old, and that's old enough to be trusted!

When we last saw George and Harold, they were about to take their pet pterodactyl, Crackers, back to the Cretaceous period. But things didn't work out quite as they had hoped. They've entered an absurd alternate reality where teachers are nice, kids are allowed to read banned books, and the cafeteria food doesn't smell like dirty diapers. Even worse, they've discovered alternate versions of themselves - Evil George and Evil Harold - who plan to unleash some preposterous plans on Piqua, Ohio.

Just when Lottie thought life might be going back to normal, everything goes wrong again! Amber’s hanging out with the Ultra Mean Girl Gang at school and is completely ignoring the Queens of Eight Green. Mum’s gone back to work and expects Lottie to ‘help around the house more’, Bella keeps biting everyone and Pot Noodle will not stop sniffing every dog’s bum. DISASTER!

For years, Valkyrie Cain has struggled to keep her loved ones safe from harm, plunging into battle - time and time again - by Skulduggery Pleasant’s side, and always emerging triumphant. But now the very thing that Valkyrie fights for is in danger, as a ruthless killer snatches her little sister in order to lure Valkyrie into a final confrontation. With Skulduggery racing to catch up and young sorcerer Omen scrambling along behind, Valkyrie only has twelve hours to find Alice before it’s too late. The clock is ticking....

Have you ever wondered how and why the animals came to be as they are? In these magical tales, drawn from stories he heard as a child in India as well as on folk traditions he later collected all over the world, Rudyard Kipling gives some wonderfully imaginative explanations.

Dodger is a tosher – a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn’t.But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him.And Dodger’s tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins.

Welcome to the Midnight Gang! Midnight is the time when all children are fast asleep, except of course for...the Midnight Gang. That is when their adventures are just beginning.... When Tom gets hit on the head by a cricket ball, he finds himself at Lord Funt Hospital and is greeted by a terrifying-looking porter. Things go from bad to worse when he meets the wicked matron in charge of the children's ward.... But Tom is about to embark on the most thrilling journey of a lifetime!

Are you ready to meet the World’s Worst Children? Five beastly boys and five gruesome girls! Like Sofia Sofa – a TV super-fan so stuck to the sofa that she’s turning into one! Or Dribbling Drew – a boy whose drool gets him into trouble on a school trip! And not forgetting Blubbering Bertha – a girl who bawls and tells terrible tales! Ready for more? The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine! Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your bookshelf, 10 more horrendously hilarious stories!

Can Cally and her twin, Jimmy, be trusted to walk home alone for the first time? Will there be mayhem at the movies? And what could possibly go wrong when they go to work at Dad's office or camp out in the forest on a school residential trip? Plus, there's a new girl at school who's not quite as perfect as she might at first seem...

Myrtle Meek has everything she could possibly want. But everything isn’t enough. She wants more, more, MORE! When Myrtle declares she wants a FING, there’s only one problem.... What is a FING? Mr and Mrs Meek will do anything to keep their darling daughter happy, even visit the spooky library vaults to delve into the dusty pages of the mysterious Monsterpedia. Their desperate quest leads to the depths of the jungliest jungle where the rarest creatures can be found. But will they ever find a FING?

Ben is getting used to life without his beloved granny. She was a cabbage enthusiast, a Scrabble partner...and an international jewel thief known as the Black Cat. Now, only the memory of their extraordinary adventure to steal the Crown Jewels lives on. Then something inexplicable happens. World-famous treasures are stolen in the dead of night and the clues point to none other than...the Black Cat? Expect the unexpected in this adventure, which will have listeners on the edge of their seats as they join Ben on his quest to unravel the mystery of the return of the Black Cat.

Andy and Terry's treehouse now has 13 new storeys, including a word-o-matic (it knows every word in the whole world!), a recycling depot, a wrecking ball, a complaining room, a spooky graveyard (where it's always midnight, even in the middle of the day), a toffee apple orchard guarded by a kind scarecrow and a camping ground where you can have a nice, relaxing camping holiday - unless you get caught by hobyahs, put in a bag and poked with a stick, that is.

From best-selling author Anh Do comes the third instalment in the hilarious hit chapter book series WeirDo. Weir's back and extra weird! Dad's working on his cool dance moves for the local talent search, while Weir's trying out for the school soccer team. Will Weir score a goal or fall flat? It won't be easy...but it will be funny!

Miles Murphy had it made. He lived in a great town near the ocean, he had two best friends, and most importantly, he had a reputation for being his town's best prankster. All of which explains why he's not happy to bemoving to Yawnee Valley, a sleepy town that's famous for one thing and one thing only: cows. Worse than that, Miles quickly discovers that Yawnee Valley already has a prankster - and a great one. If Miles is going to take the title from this mystery kid, he'll have to raise his game.

Pig was a pug. And I’m sorry to say, he was greedy and selfish in most every way... Pig is the greediest pug in the world. He is ill-tempered, rude and unreasonable. He doesn’t know how to share, and he’s always blaming poor Trevor for his naughtiness. But when Pig plots his terrible deeds, something unexpected always seems to happen. Hopefully Pig will learn some important lessons!

Welcome to the Isle of Mulch! This little island is home to a large number of horrible grown-ups. The school, the local park, the toy shop and even the island's ice-cream van, are all run by awful adults who like nothing more than making children miserable. And the island is owned by the most awful one of all: Aunt Greta Greed! Something needs to be done about them. But who could be brave enough? Meet Ned: an extraordinary boy with a special power. SLIMEPOWER!

Be amazed by these ten thrilling adventures, featuring the bravest, strongest and silliest superheroes the world has ever seen, alongside more secret lairs, disguises and surprises than you will believe possible!

The modern mammal metropolis of Zootopia is a city like no other. Comprised of habitat neighborhoods like ritzy Sahara Square and frigid Tundratown, it's a melting pot where no matter what you are, from the biggest elephant to the smallest shrew, you can be anything. But when optimistic Officer Judy Hopps arrives, she discovers that being the first bunny on a police force of big, tough animals isn't so easy. Determined to prove herself, she jumps at the opportunity to crack a case, even if it means partnering with a fast-talking, scam-artist fox, Nick Wilde, to solve the mystery.

Tips for being top of the class (sadly...I did none of these things). Stay awake in lessons (it helps). Don't draw hilarious pictures of your teachers. Avoid the class bully to stay out of trouble. Don't let Mum and Dad write anything in your school planner. Don't let your grumpy sister, Delia, boss you around. (Technically not a school issue - but still important.) I'm trying to get voted onto the school council as well - but thanks to the above list it's not exactly going to plan.

Are you ready for some delightfully dreadful tales? From cheeky pixies and naughty imps to hair-raisingly horrid children and tricks gone wrong, there is abundant mischief in these cautionary short stories by Enid Blyton. These traditional tales are ideal for listeners of all ages. Each story stands alone and is the perfect length for listening at bedtime or in the classroom. Enid Blyton remains one of Britain's favourite children's authors and her bumper short story collections are perfect for introducing her to the latest generation of readers.