There is a lot of talk about feeling emotionally safe. But sometimes what we’re calling unsafe is just new, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable.

In this episode, Stacey explores the difference between actual harm and healthy discomfort. And why growth rarely happens when we feel at ease. She unpacks what emotional safety really means, how it’s often used as a shield, and why some of the most powerful transformations happen when we feel unsure.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m not ready” or “I don’t feel safe,” this one is for you.

In this episode:

•  The difference between actual harm and healthy discomfort.

•  Why evolution doesn't happen in your comfort zone.

•  How waiting to feel safe might keep you stuck.

• The #1 question to ask yourself when fear knocks

To commemorate the 40th episode, get Stacey’s flagship communication course, ar·tic·u·late for $29 (normally $99).

ar·tic·u·late is designed to help you speak clearly, listen generously, and handle hard conversations with ease.

Save $70 bucks when you use code FORTY at checkout: staceyherrera.com/articulate

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question? Drop a note in the Suggestion Box https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review. Your words help other midlife women find us. https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

How do they treat you when they’re upset?

In this episode, Stacey explores the nuance of conflict in relationships. Whether it’s weaponized silence, bringing up things shared in confidence, or claiming they “didn’t mean it” after saying something hurtful, how someone shows up during conflict speaks volumes.

You’ll learn the difference between healthy space and emotional punishment. And why the way someone handles disagreements can (and sometimes should) be a deal breaker.

If you’ve ever walked away from a disagreement feeling like small and unsure if love is supposed to gut you, this is for you. Stacey is serving up real-life reflections and clear standards for what respectful conflict can and should look like.

In this episode:

• 3 conflict red flags most people ignore

• The emotional toll of stonewalling and disappearing acts

• Why “I didn’t mean it” doesn’t undo the impact

• How to set boundaries before the next blow-up

• When conflict becomes cruelty—and how to respond

“There's a difference between taking time to self-regulate and withholding connection as a form of punishment.” —Stacey Herrera

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question? Drop a note in the Suggestion Box https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review. Your words help other midlife women find us. https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

If you’re the one they check on after the fact, the person who gets the update but not the invitation, or the partner expected to adjust without being asked, this conversation is for you.

This week on the pod, Stacey unpacks what it feels like to be an afterthought, how that pattern often mirrors the way we treat ourselves, and why clarity doesn’t always guarantee change. Whether you speak up or stay silent, the result can feel the same—and it’s exhausting.

You’ll hear why being overlooked isn’t always about other people missing the mark. Sometimes, it starts with the way we shrink, delay, or deprioritize our own needs.

Whether this shows up in romance, with family, friends, or at work, this is an invitation to center yourself with intention.

In this episode:
• What it feels like to be remembered last
• Why speaking up doesn’t always lead to being seen
• How familiar pain can feel easier than honest risk
• The role grief plays in self-loyalty
• What it looks like to shift from default to deliberate

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question? Drop a note in the Suggestion Box https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review. Your words help other midlife women find us. https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

It might look like love. Might even feel like love. But what if it’s not?

In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between love and attachment. Knowing the difference might save years of confusion, resentment, and chasing someone’s potential.

Stacey is walking you through what love is (without the fairytale framing), how attachment shows up in your nervous system and choices, and why the two get so tangled in midlife relationships.

If you’ve ever been in a situation that made you question yourself, held on longer than you wanted to, or built a future with someone who wasn’t fully present, this conversation may give you language and clarity for what you’ve been feeling.

You’ll learn:

• What real love looks like

• How attachment hides in chemistry and caretaking

• The waiting-for-them-to-change trap

• Why long-term relationships aren’t always mutual

• How to stop confusing connection with compatibility

This episode is a roadmap for recognizing the kind of connection that can hold your wholeness.

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question?
Submit ideas for upcoming episodes in the Suggestion Box
https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack
https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 Read Stacey’s Book: How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes?
A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity).
https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review
Your words help other midlife women find us.
https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

If you’re the one who remembers the birthdays, plans the date nights, manages the group chats, and loads the dishwasher (because no one else seems to notice it’s full), this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, Stacey opens up about what happened when she finally stopped doing it all and what she learned about herself, her nervous system, and the stories that keep so many women in midlife over-functioning in their relationships.

If you’ve ever thought, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done,” this one will hit home.

You’ll hear why it feels so hard to step back (even when you’re exhausted) and how to make small but powerful changes that allow space for support, help, and actual partnership.

Whether you're in a relationship or just realizing how often you take the lead in your life, this episode offers honest reflections and practical tools for letting go of the mental load.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The hidden belief that keeps women stuck in the “go-to” role

• Three doable ways to shift the dynamic and stop doing it all

• Why letting people show up for you is vulnerable and necessary

• What really happens when you stop filling every gap yourself

Overfunctioning in relationships leads to burnout.

You deserve rest, support, and space.

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question?
Submit ideas for upcoming episodes in the Suggestion Box
https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack
https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 Read Stacey’s Book: How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes?
A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity).
https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review
Your words help other midlife women find us.
https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

Midlife brings shifts—some welcome, some disorienting. One of the most confusing? When your desire goes quiet for a while.

This week, we're talking about sexual winter. This season doesn’t get enough airtime, especially among midlife women navigating shifting roles, changing hormones, and the pressure to always be “on.”

This episode is for you if you've ever wondered:

• Why don’t I want to have sex?

• Is this just a phase or something else?

• How can I stay connected to my partner when I’m not feeling sexual?

• Will my desire ever come back?

Stacey shares her story of moving through a dormant season—not with urgency, but with curiosity. She offers insight on what helped, what didn’t, and why winter doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It just means your body is asking for something different.

In this episode:

• What sexual winter is (and how to recognize it)

• A new way to think about intimacy and connection during low-desire seasons

• How to communicate what’s happening without guilt or pressure

• Why slowing down isn’t a step back—it’s part of the rhythm
  
  

💫 Special Offer: May is Masturbation Month. Pleasure for One is just $10. This mini-course will help you reconnect with your body. No fixing or forcing required. Use code LOVEIS at checkout.

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question?
Submit ideas for upcoming episodes in the Suggestion Box
https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram
Daily insights, soft truths, and grown woman reflections
https://www.instagram.com/staceynherrera/

💌 Subscribe to the Sensual Sundays Newsletter
Weekly love notes on presence, embodiment, and coming home to yourself
https://staceyherrera.com/sensual-sundays/

📖 Read Stacey’s Book: How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes?
A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity).
https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review
Your words help other midlife women find us.
https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

What do you do when your reflection surprises you? When you catch a glimpse and think, Wait… when did that change?

In this episode, Stacey shares an unfiltered reflection on aging, intimacy, hydration (yes, hydration), and her evolving relationship with the woman in the mirror.

Tender. Honest. Very midlife.

In this conversation:

• The difference between fixing and tending to yourself

• The soft grief and quiet joy of watching your body change

• Confidence that comes not from how you look, but how you stay

This is not a "how to age gracefully" conversation. It’s a how to stay with yourself while things change conversation.

If you’ve been feeling discombobulated about inhabiting unfamiliar skin, the unexpected thirst, or the sometimes strange, always sacred beauty of softening… listen now.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Sage and Grace newsletter - staceyherrera.com/sage

• Connect with Stacey on Instagram or TikTok

• Send Stacey an email or an audio message

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question?

Submit ideas for upcoming episodes in the Suggestion Box

https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📖 Read Stacey’s Book: How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes?

A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity).

https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review

Your words help other midlife women find us

https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

This week on Love Is…, we’re exploring Sexual Autumn—a season that doesn’t get nearly enough celebration.

Unlike the urgent heat of summer, autumn brings a slower, deeper sensuality.

Touch becomes more intentional. Foreplay is a full-body conversation. Arousal builds in layers. It’s richer and more satisfying. Might even feel otherworldly.

In this episode:

• How to honor your body when it takes longer to warm up

• Why spontaneity isn’t necessarily the gold standard for good sex

• What to do if you and your partner are in different seasons

• Why autumn can feel clarifying

• How autumn can be a gift for singles and a bridge for relationship-ers

💌 Are you in Sexual Autumn? Share your story

Leave Stacey a voice note:
https://async.com/staceynherrera

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question?

Submit ideas for upcoming episodes in the Suggestion Box

https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram

Daily insights, soft truths, and grown woman reflections

https://www.instagram.com/staceynherrera/

💌 Subscribe to the Sensual Sundays Newsletter

Weekly love notes on presence, embodiment, and coming home to yourself

https://staceyherrera.com/sensual-sundays/

📖 Read Stacey’s Book: How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes?

A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity).

https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review

Your words help other midlife women find us

https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review