There is a lot of talk about feeling emotionally safe. But sometimes what we’re calling unsafe is just new, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable.

In this episode, Stacey explores the difference between actual harm and healthy discomfort. And why growth rarely happens when we feel at ease. She unpacks what emotional safety really means, how it’s often used as a shield, and why some of the most powerful transformations happen when we feel unsure.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m not ready” or “I don’t feel safe,” this one is for you.

In this episode:

•  The difference between actual harm and healthy discomfort.

•  Why evolution doesn't happen in your comfort zone.

•  How waiting to feel safe might keep you stuck.

• The #1 question to ask yourself when fear knocks

To commemorate the 40th episode, get Stacey’s flagship communication course, ar·tic·u·late for $29 (normally $99).

ar·tic·u·late is designed to help you speak clearly, listen generously, and handle hard conversations with ease.

Save $70 bucks when you use code FORTY at checkout: staceyherrera.com/articulate

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question? Drop a note in the Suggestion Box https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review. Your words help other midlife women find us. https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

How do they treat you when they’re upset?

In this episode, Stacey explores the nuance of conflict in relationships. Whether it’s weaponized silence, bringing up things shared in confidence, or claiming they “didn’t mean it” after saying something hurtful, how someone shows up during conflict speaks volumes.

You’ll learn the difference between healthy space and emotional punishment. And why the way someone handles disagreements can (and sometimes should) be a deal breaker.

If you’ve ever walked away from a disagreement feeling like small and unsure if love is supposed to gut you, this is for you. Stacey is serving up real-life reflections and clear standards for what respectful conflict can and should look like.

In this episode:

• 3 conflict red flags most people ignore

• The emotional toll of stonewalling and disappearing acts

• Why “I didn’t mean it” doesn’t undo the impact

• How to set boundaries before the next blow-up

• When conflict becomes cruelty—and how to respond

“There's a difference between taking time to self-regulate and withholding connection as a form of punishment.” —Stacey Herrera

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question? Drop a note in the Suggestion Box https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review. Your words help other midlife women find us. https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review

If you’re the one they check on after the fact, the person who gets the update but not the invitation, or the partner expected to adjust without being asked, this conversation is for you.

This week on the pod, Stacey unpacks what it feels like to be an afterthought, how that pattern often mirrors the way we treat ourselves, and why clarity doesn’t always guarantee change. Whether you speak up or stay silent, the result can feel the same—and it’s exhausting.

You’ll hear why being overlooked isn’t always about other people missing the mark. Sometimes, it starts with the way we shrink, delay, or deprioritize our own needs.

Whether this shows up in romance, with family, friends, or at work, this is an invitation to center yourself with intention.

In this episode:
• What it feels like to be remembered last
• Why speaking up doesn’t always lead to being seen
• How familiar pain can feel easier than honest risk
• The role grief plays in self-loyalty
• What it looks like to shift from default to deliberate

✨ Got a topic, idea, or question? Drop a note in the Suggestion Box https://staceyherrera.com/suggestion-box

📸 Follow Stacey on Instagram & TikTok for insight, truth, and grown woman reflections

💌 Subscribe to the Midlife & Then Some Substack https://staceyherrera.substack.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having “the talk” without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

⭐️ Love the Show? Leave a 5-Star Review. Your words help other midlife women find us. https://staceyherrera.com/love-is-review