Episodes

  • Unlocking Your Authentic Self: A Deep Dive with Donna Parker on Core Values & Beliefs

    Unlocking Your Authentic Self: A Deep Dive with Donna Parker on Core Values & Beliefs
    Jul 21 2025
    Ever feel like you're living a life based on someone else's script? Like there's a disconnect between who you are and who you feel you should be? If so, you're in for a treat with our latest "Flip Your Mindset" episode featuring the incredible Donna Parker. Donna, a seasoned therapist, life coach, educator, and speaker with over 25 years in the mental health field, is the founder of Evolve Coaching, and she’s dedicated her career to guiding individuals and families toward healing and aligning with their authentic selves.This conversation was a powerful exploration of what truly drives us, and how we can tap into our inner wisdom for a more fulfilling existence.Core Values vs. Core Beliefs: The Essential DistinctionOne of the most eye-opening parts of our chat began with a fundamental question: What's the difference between a core belief and a core value? As I often discuss with my clients, core beliefs are the lens through which we see ourselves, others, and the world around us, profoundly influencing our thoughts.Donna introduced a fascinating perspective on values, moving beyond the simplistic "always be nice, don't be mean" idea. She argues that trying to live a "one-sided polarized life" by constantly seeking happiness can actually be a source of human suffering. We are, in fact, meant to be "two-sided individuals" – capable of both kindness and being "cool" (or, as she later elaborates, acknowledging all aspects of ourselves). True growth, she emphasizes, develops on the border of challenge and support. This really resonated with my long-held belief that there's purpose in all pain and a gift in every challenge.Your Life is Already Showing You Your Highest ValuesSo, how do we uncover these authentic values? Donna beautifully explains that our lives arealready demonstrating them. It's about giving ourselves permission to examine what we "choose to do, love to do, desire to do". Unfortunately, many of us are living by "moral imperatives" based on "shoulds" – beliefs injected into us from childhood by preachers, teachers, and coaches, all to stay safe and gain value.Donna shared some brilliant questions to help us tap into our true values:* Where do you spend the majority of your time? What about that work inspires you?* What conversations leave you feeling more energized?* Where do you feel a "tier of inspiration"?* What organization or activity does no one have to remind you to do?* Where will you spend your money, and what does that represent to you?She beautifully illustrates this with her own life: no one has to remind her to speak, teach, or engage in inspiring conversations. Health and fitness have been a core value since she was a little girl. Conversely, she happily delegates cooking and cleaning because they aren't in alignment with her highest priorities. This allows her to "spend more time in creating content and doing what I love and let individuals that are inspired to do that". Imagine the freedom of saying "yes" to what you love and outsourcing the rest!The Roots of "Shoulds" and the Gift of PainWhere do these "shoulds" come from? Donna points to our "moral imperatives" and the fact that "we are domesticated since in the womb". Our physiology is hardwired for survival, to "seek pleasure, avoid pain". Historically, if we didn't "chameleon and fit in with the herd, we literally died". This survival instinct means we're constantly scanning the environment for threats.This leads to a crucial insight: life is constantly guiding us to align with our authentic selves, and sometimes, "the gift of some of the pain" serves as feedback. As I’ve always said, "life is a series of experiences divinely designed for you". It’s in our greatest challenges, the moments that bring us to our knees, that we find the biggest lessons and build resilience. Donna fully agrees, stating, "Every moment in your life is happening for you, not to you".The Self-Reflective Universe and Quantum PrinciplesDonna's work delves into the "self-reflective universe" and quantum physics principles, particularly the law of reflection and transparency. She explains that when we judge others, or when we are "addicted to being admired and praised and liked," we often attract the very opposite – criticism, dislike, and rejection. This isn't punishment, but rather "homeostatic feedback" from life, constantly prompting us to get in alignment with our authentic selves.She shared a powerful example of a woman who, through this process, became grateful for a challenging relationship she initially labeled as "narcissistic and violent". The woman realized she had been in a "disempowered state," not valuing herself or using her voice. The relationship was mirroring her own disowned parts of self, inviting her to step into her worth. This deep work allowed her to see how what she perceived in him was also a reflection within herself. As Donna passionately says, "nothing is missing". We all have wealth in different forms, whether...
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    42 mins
  • Ep 144: Unlocking a Deeper Sense of Self: Trauma, Joy, and the Journey Within

    Ep 144: Unlocking a Deeper Sense of Self: Trauma, Joy, and the Journey Within
    Jul 14 2025

    In our latest podcast episode, we ventured into a profound conversation that bridges the clinical with the spiritual, the personal with the universal. Joined by the insightful Jesseca Banchy, a former ICU nurse turned holistic healer, we explored the complex landscape of trauma, our innate capacity for joy, and the transformative power of self-awareness.

    Jesseca Banchy, drawing from her unique perspective of witnessing trauma in both a clinical setting and through her own personal lens, offered a definition of trauma that transcends simple categorization. As she explains, trauma is not a singular event but a deeply personal and complex experience, different for every individual. It isn't always about physical violation or words of hatred; we are all sensitive souls, and the path to overcoming trauma is a journey of self-transformation.

    Key Insights from Our Conversation:

    * The Roots of Trauma: Jesseca Banchy explained that trauma can be deep-rooted, going back to our earliest experiences as infants and how we received, or were able to receive, love. This early sense of attachment, safety, and security is fundamental to our survival, as we are born reliant on others to meet our basic needs.

    * Survival vs. Joy: A fascinating point of discussion was the function of our bodies and minds. While our brains are fundamentally designed for survival, not necessarily happiness or joy, Jesseca believes we are also programmed for joy. Many animals, despite their survival instincts, are joyous creatures. The human experience is unique in that our complex psychology can sometimes get in the way of life's true essence.

    * Vibrational Alignment and Experience: Jesseca introduced the concept that our life experiences are often what we are vibrationally aligned with. While it can be a difficult concept to grasp, especially when faced with negative events, the idea is that what we feel emotionally inside can attract experiences that match that same vibration.

    * The Weight of Ancestral Trauma: We carry more than just our own lived experiences. Jesseca noted that if we can physically resemble our ancestors, it's possible we also transfer their pain and joy. The host added that from an epigenetic standpoint, we can carry experiences from up to seven generations back in and around our bodies.

    * The Problem with Modern Society: We are living in the most comfortable generation in history, yet we are also the most miserable. Jesseca suggests this is rooted in unresolved ancestral trauma and a societal disconnect from our true selves, fueled by materialism and a gluttonous, yet unfulfilling, lifestyle.

    * Personal Responsibility and Healing: A core theme was the power of taking responsibility for our own feelings and lives. Healing involves reclaiming that power, understanding what we will tolerate based on what we think we deserve, and making a conscious decision about what we want in life. It's a journey of self-transformation and connecting with a higher power.

    Jesseca Banchy has channeled her experiences, including walking through the pain of infidelity, into creating resources to help others. Her "uncheated code" is an automated, eight-week course specifically for women who have been cheated on, providing a simplified way to get results and overcome the debilitating pain of betrayal.

    Ultimately, the conversation was a powerful reminder that life is more beautiful than we often realize. Despite the hardships, there is immense joy and beauty to be found by enjoying the experience of being alive and connecting with ourselves and each other on a deeper level.

    To learn more about Jesseca Banchy's work, including life coaching, nutrition consultation, and flexibility training, you can visit her website at magneticsolehealing.org



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe
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    38 mins
  • Ep 143: The Invisible Scar: Unpacking Betrayal Trauma with Mr. Jay

    Ep 143: The Invisible Scar: Unpacking Betrayal Trauma with Mr. Jay
    Jul 7 2025
    The Invisible Scar: Unpacking Betrayal Trauma with Mr. JayWelcome to a new deep dive from Flip Your Mindset, where we don't shy away from the tough conversations that truly impact our lives. In our latest episode, I had the privilege of sitting down with Mr. Jay, a certified betrayal trauma practitioner and intra-personal relationship coach, whose insights into the silent suffering of betrayal trauma are nothing short of profound.You might think you understand "trauma," but betrayal trauma, as Mr. Jay explains, is a beast of a different color. It's not just what happens to you; it’s about who it happens at the hands of – someone you implicitly trusted.The Bridge That Collapses Beneath YouMr. Jay paints a powerful analogy: Imagine walking across a thin bridge, a mile above blazing fires and volcanoes, with your most precious loved ones in your arms. The smoke blinds you, and you instinctively reach for the hand of the person you trust more than yourself to lead the way. Then, without warning, the bridge collapses, and you realize the person you trusted most was holding the hammer. That, he says, is the feeling of betrayal trauma. Your mind is hijacked, you’re in primal panic, and you die emotionally, mentally, though not physically.This isn't just about spousal infidelity, though that's a common example. Betrayal trauma can come from a parent, a child, a boss, or even institutions like the medical or legal fields where you place your reliance and trust. It's a feeling of hopelessness, helplessness, and disempowerment that ravages your mind, body, and soul.The Secret Society of SufferingOne of the most isolating aspects of betrayal trauma, as Mr. Jay highlighted, is that it’s often a "secret society". Unlike other traumas where you might receive public support or bereavement leave, there's no "broken heart time off" when you discover infidelity. The shame and embarrassment mean many suffer in silence, feeling utterly alone.What's more, while other traumas affect the present and future, betrayal trauma uniquely "also affects the past". Your photo albums, familiar streets, and restaurants are tainted, robbing you of cherished memories. And it's deeply personalizing – leading to the painful question, "Why wasn't I good enough?".Betrayal Blindness: Our Brain's Double-Edged SwordWe often ask ourselves, "How could I have been so blind? I'm smart!". Mr. Jay explains the concept of:betrayal blindness, a term coined by Jennifer Freed. It's a part of our fight, flight, freeze nervous system, serving as our body's way of protecting us in the moment. Like Little Red Riding Hood ignoring her gut feeling to see her grandmother , we ignore red flags because the reality is too painful to accept. This temporary safety mechanism ultimately becomes our "worst enemy" , leading to self-disconnection and a more complex healing journey.The Wounds of the Betrayer: A Difficult TruthPerhaps one of the most challenging truths we discussed is this:"People with wounds are the ones that have affairs." Mr. Jay firmly states, "I've never worked with somebody that had an affair that was happy, healthy, and healed". This doesn't excuse the behavior – absolutely not. But it offers a crucial perspective that hurt often begets hurt. Often, betrayers are seeking to "numb, distract, avoid, cope" or simply to "feel seen" and "feel alive" , grappling with their own unhealed wounds.The Path Forward: From Venom to Wise TrustHealing from betrayal trauma is not about quick decisions. It's a journey that requires building a strong support system, conducting a needs assessment, and developing a "10, 10, 10 plan" for your future.A critical step is understanding and setting boundaries. Mr. Jay suggests starting by identifying your core values and inverting them into boundaries. Boundaries aren't about controlling others; they're about holding ourselves accountable. This process builds self-worth, self-image, and self-love, which are essential for making healthy decisions.Perhaps the most empowering takeaway is this: you must take 100% responsibility for who you are and how you show up in relationships, but take zero responsibility for someone else's choice to betray you. They had other options.As Mr. Jay wisely puts it, "Nobody has ever died from a snake bite. What people die from is when the venom gets into their veins and gets to their heart". The work of healing is to prevent that venom from permeating your entire being.Our brains are malleable and can heal. While we may not "completely heal" in the sense of erasing the experience, we learn to "manage trauma". The blessing lies in developing "wise trust" instead of blind trust and experiencing post-traumatic growth – becoming stronger, more realigned, and more purposeful than before the trauma.Connect with Mr. Jay for more resources and support: mrjayrelationshipcoach.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, ...
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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • Ep 142: Navigating the Storm: A Guide to High-Conflict Divorce and Parental Alienation with Susan Shofer

    Ep 142: Navigating the Storm: A Guide to High-Conflict Divorce and Parental Alienation with Susan Shofer
    Jun 30 2025
    On the latest episode of "Flip Your Mindset," I had the immense pleasure of sitting down with Susan Shofer, a powerhouse of knowledge and experience in a field that is, unfortunately, all too necessary: high-conflict divorce and parental alienation. This isn't just another conversation about divorce; this is a deep dive into the strategic, emotional, and often traumatic landscape that many, particularly women, are forced to navigate.As many of you know, I hold a special place for women going through high-conflict divorces. It's a process that doesn't just bring up the current abuse and control, but also pours salt into old wounds, leaving clients emotionally distraught and dysregulated. That’s why I wanted to bring Susan on. Her unique background as a licensed private investigator turned divorce coach gives her an unparalleled edge in understanding the logistics and strategies needed to weather this storm.Susan and I often collaborate on client cases, and as she puts it, it’s a partnership that helps clients navigate both the "clear edges" and the "messy middle" of their journey.What Exactly is a Divorce Coach?Many people aren’t familiar with the term, so I asked Susan to break it down. A divorce coach is more than just a life coach; they are trained professionals who understand the multifaceted nature of divorce. Susan, for instance, attended the CDC Coaching Academy for an intensive four-month program.A good divorce coach helps with:* Financial guidance, connecting you with experts like certified divorce financial advisors.* Emotional regulation during a time of fear and upset.* Ensuring your safety, especially if domestic violence is a factor.* Strategizing your behavior throughout the process, because as Susan notes, "a lot of our behaviors because we're triggered to respond, sitting back and think a little bit before we jump into it."Critically, Susan believes the first step in a divorce shouldn't be hiring a lawyer, but a divorce coach. Why? To build a strategy first. As she says, "I always recommend people do this very early in the game." Too often, clients come to her months into the process, feeling lost and with legal representation that isn't a good fit for their situation. It’s about creating a level playing field from the start.The Stark Difference Between Divorce and High-Conflict DivorceSusan laid out the landscape of divorce with striking clarity. About 85% of divorces are what she calls "normal." These are couples who grew apart and, while there might be some animosity, they make a concerted effort to be equitable and not involve the children.The other 15%? That's the high-conflict space. These aren't just difficult divorces; they are often battles against individuals who may have personality disorders like narcissism or psychopathy. Susan has a fascinating exercise for her clients: "ask yourself, what did you see? What was the red flag you saw before you got married?" Invariably, the signs were there. As she bluntly puts it, if you were married to a high-conflict person, "what do you think they're going to be when you go to get divorced, they're going to ramp it up."Unpacking Parental AlienationThis is where the conversation took an intense, but crucial, turn. Parental alienation is a term that gets thrown around, sometimes even weaponized, so I wanted Susan to define it from her expert perspective.Parental alienation, in its simplest form, is when one parent turns a child against the other parent. But the reality is far more insidious. It's a "behind the scenes indoctrination of changing the child's view of that targeted parent." The core of it, Susan explains, is fear. A child rejects a parent because they have been made to fear them.Susan powerfully distinguishes between estrangement and alienation:* Estrangement is when a child doesn't want to be with a parent for a valid reason.* Alienation is when a child has been indoctrinated to reject a parent.How can you tell the difference? The language. An alienated child often parrots phrases and concepts that are not their own. As Susan says, "when a six year old says I don't want to go to dad's house because his girlfriend's a w***e... Where does the six year old hear it?" These children can be verbose and show a startling lack of guilt about their rejection of the targeted parent. In contrast, a child who has been genuinely abused will often hide the abuse and still express love for both parents, despite the pain.This process is devastating, not just for the targeted parent, but for the child. Susan has collected stories from 327 adults who were alienated as children, and a common thread is the immense guilt they carry. One of the most heartbreaking questions she asks them is, "which parent were you really afraid of?" The answer is "hands down 100% the alienate[ing parent]."These children are not just manipulated; they are used as pawns. As one adult survivor told Susan, "they don't care about you. You're just something they ...
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    54 mins
  • Ep 141: How Generational Trauma Shapes Your Relationship with Money

    Ep 141: How Generational Trauma Shapes Your Relationship with Money
    Jun 23 2025
    Of all the topics we’ve explored over the years on the podcast, there's one we’ve never truly dissected, yet it silently dictates so much of our lives: money. It’s a subject often shrouded in shame and secrecy, but its influence is everywhere, in our relationships, our careers, and our sense of well-being.What if I told you that your financial habits, whether you’re a meticulous saver, an anxious spender, or someone who avoids looking at their bank account altogether might not be entirely your own?In a fascinating conversation with licensed professional counselor Marshaya Rountree, we uncovered just how deeply our financial behaviors are shaped by the generations that came before us. The research is staggering, suggesting we carry the emotional and psychological imprint of up to seven generations. Think about that. We are not that far removed from epic historical traumas that fundamentally influenced our family's access to and relationship with money.The Invisible Inheritance: From Historical Trauma to Your WalletFor many, especially within the BIPOC community, this isn't just abstract history. Marshaya pointed to the intentional systems, like chattel slavery, that were designed to prevent entire communities from building wealth. When a person's very existence was monetized for someone else's gain, it creates a profound and complicated dichotomy when it comes to now owning and managing money. There were no healing spaces to process this trauma, forcing survival modes that have been passed down through generations.But this echo of trauma isn’t limited to one community. I found myself reflecting on my own great-grandmother, born in the 1890s. She witnessed the invention of electricity in the home, two world wars, and the dawn of the automobile. She lived off the land and chilled food in a creek. The way she and my great-grandparents viewed money, born from a world of necessity and survival, undoubtedly shaped my grandparents. Even if it was never spoken about, my parents marinated in that mindset, which in turn influenced how I was raised. And that's only three generations back.Are You in a Toxic Relationship with Money? Your Financial Attachment StyleMarshaya introduced a groundbreaking concept: we develop attachment styles to money just as we do in our relationships. Where do you see yourself?* Secure Attachment: You have a budget and feel confident in it. You know where your money is going, you plan for rainy days, and while you’re not obsessive, you feel in control.* Insecure-Avoidant Attachment: You’d rather do anything than look at your bank statements or credit card bills. The very thought of it creates anxiety, so you just want the bills paid without knowing the details.* Insecure-Anxious Attachment: This is the hyper-vigilant checker. You check your bank account daily, maybe even after every transaction. Despite having a budget, you never feel truly secure that it’s working. This often stems from past financial hardships.* Insecure-Disorganized Attachment: A chaotic mix of the above, where you might feel like you have a handle on things, but a closer look reveals disarray.These styles are often forged in the crucible of our childhood. Did you witness money being weaponized in your home? Perhaps one parent controlled all the finances, leaving the other in a state of financial abuse. A child growing up in that environment might develop an anxious attachment, vowing to never be trapped in that way, yet finding themselves unable to trust a partner with merged finances.The Lie That Money Isn't EmotionalOne of the biggest fallacies is that money is purely logical. I can tell you from personal experience, it is profoundly emotional.Years ago, the business I co-owned with my family collapsed in the wake of the Lehman Brothers crash. We were financially decimated. I remember being curled up on my kitchen floor, my nervous system so wrecked with the visceral threat of not being able to pay my mortgage or buy food that I could barely breathe.In that moment of devastation, two things became crystal clear. First, I had given this thing—money—an immense amount of power over my ability to feel safe and secure. My joy and happiness had become conditional on having "enough". Second, I recognized that money is just a piece of paper. It's a piece of paper run through a printing press that we assign value to. That day, my relationship with money changed forever. I refused to let it hold my joy captive for the years it would take to recover.How to Start Healing Your Financial TraumaSo how do we begin to untangle these deep-seated beliefs and start healing? Marshaya offered a clear path forward:* Start with Radical Honesty: Come to the table with honesty about your financial situation, without the heavy cloak of self-judgment. Acknowledge what you know and what you don't.* Cultivate Awareness: This is the stepping stone for all healing. Get curious. Trace the thread of your beliefs. Ask yourself: ...
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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • Ep 140: When Narcissistic Abuse Goes Beyond Marriage: Unpacking Family, Workplace, and Personal Healing

    Ep 140: When Narcissistic Abuse Goes Beyond Marriage: Unpacking Family, Workplace, and Personal Healing
    Jun 16 2025

    Hi everyone, it's Stacey Uhrig. I'm thrilled to share the final installment of my Flip Your Mindset podcast series featuring the incredible Kimberly Weeks. In this deeply personal episode, Kimberly and I dive into the complex issue of narcissistic abuse and coercive control, exploring how these toxic dynamics extend far beyond intimate relationships.

    Throughout my conversations with Kimberly, a Certified Trauma and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and my mentor, I have learned so much about the origins of narcissistic behaviors and how they deeply affect our lives from childhood through adulthood. Kimberly beautifully breaks down the roles commonly seen in narcissistic family systems, like the "golden child," the "scapegoat," and the "lost child." These roles, often assigned unconsciously by parents, profoundly shape our self-worth and coping strategies.

    Spotting Toxicity at Work

    Kimberly and I also discussed how these family dynamics can spill over into our workplaces. I’ve personally seen how toxic work environments can echo childhood patterns, contributing to burnout and emotional exhaustion. It's essential to recognize these signs early and start setting firm boundaries, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Trust me, I’ve been there, and it’s challenging, but it’s so worth it.

    Healing and Transformation

    One of the most impactful lessons from my conversations with Kimberly has been recognizing the coping mechanisms we develop to survive. These adaptations were once necessary for our protection, but left unchecked, they can limit our growth and happiness. Kimberly has an incredible structured, seven-phase recovery program called Stand Firm, guiding individuals from initially recognizing their trauma ("triage") to achieving true personal healing and transformation.

    Finding Strength in Community

    Both Kimberly and I deeply believe in the power of community support for healing. Her Stand Firm program provides weekly coaching sessions in a judgment-free space, allowing participants to connect with peers who genuinely understand their struggles. I cannot emphasize enough how valuable and healing this community has been for those involved.

    Meet Kimberly Weeks

    Kimberly Weeks is more than just a recovery coach; she's someone who genuinely cares and has personally navigated this challenging journey. Her extensive experience and compassion have already helped countless individuals reclaim their lives.

    🔗 Learn more about Kimberly’s Stand Firm Program

    🔗 Join Kimberly’s groundbreaking case study

    📲 Connect with Kimberly for daily support and inspiration on Instagram: @iamkimberlyweeks

    🎧 Catch the full Flip Your Mindset podcast series on narcissistic abuse and coercive control

    Remember, you don't have to walk this path alone. Healing is not just possible—it's within your reach.



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe
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    1 hr and 6 mins
  • Ep 139: Coercive Control and the Diddy Case: Naming the Unseen Abuse

    Ep 139: Coercive Control and the Diddy Case: Naming the Unseen Abuse
    Jun 9 2025

    When we think of abuse, our minds often go straight to physical violence. Bruises, threats, raised voices, broken things. But some of the deepest, most enduring wounds are invisible. They don’t leave scars on the skin. They live in the nervous system. They warp your perception of reality. They bury your voice.

    This is coercive control.

    And it is central to narcissistic abuse.

    In this episode, I sit down once again with Kimberly Weeks, known for her expertise and advocacy in narcissistic abuse recovery, to talk about a form of abuse that is difficult to see, even harder to prove, and almost impossible to explain unless you’ve lived it.

    Coercive control is not just manipulation. It’s a full psychological campaign. A dismantling of a person’s ability to think, feel, or choose freely. It often starts with seemingly small things — isolation from friends, monitoring phone use, constant criticism — and escalates into a complete takeover of a person’s agency.

    And most of the time, no one sees it happening.

    Together, Kimberly and I unpack the definition, patterns, and lived impact of coercive control. We talk about how survivors often feel like they’ve been placed under a spell, and why breaking free isn’t as simple as just walking away. It takes clarity, support, and a complete rebuilding of the self.

    We explore how coercive control functions through fear, obligation, guilt, and shame. And we highlight the real-world example of the Diddy and Cassie case, not as tabloid fodder, but as a public illustration of dynamics that happen every day behind closed doors — in relationships that may look glamorous from the outside.

    In this episode, we also touch on:

    * How psychological control mirrors cult dynamics and war-time tactics

    * The role of humiliation, surveillance, and forced compliance in abusive systems

    * What happens when a survivor begins to question whether they are the problem

    * The devastating aftermath of leaving, and the fog that begins to lift once safety is restored

    Kimberly doesn’t shy away from naming the tactics — from love bombing and dog-whistling to coercion masked as fantasy. She explains how someone’s survival instincts can become entangled with their abuser, leading to silence, complicity, and deep self-blame. We also explore how survivors often carry the shame of having “gone along with it,” even when their choices were made under extreme psychological pressure.

    This isn’t an easy conversation. It’s heavy. It’s complex. It’s personal for so many.

    But it’s also necessary.

    Because without naming these patterns, we can’t heal from them.

    And for every person who has wondered, Was it really abuse if I said yes? or Why didn’t I just leave?, this episode offers validation, insight, and understanding.

    We know these stories are hard to hear, especially if they mirror your own. We share them with care, grounded in compassion, because the truth deserves space.

    And survivors deserve to be believed, even when there are no bruises.

    🌀 Watch the full series on narcissistic abuse here:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlA0WyYyh_UOSsC2UBmsgypwCXs6-TSs8

    📲 Connect with Kimberly Weeks on Instagram:@iamkimberlyweeks🌐 Website:

    https://www.thenarcissisticabusecoach.com

    🧠 Ready to heal, grow, and connect?



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe
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    1 hr and 17 mins
  • Ep 138: How Narcissists Weaponize the Legal System in High-Conflict Divorces

    Ep 138: How Narcissists Weaponize the Legal System in High-Conflict Divorces
    Jun 2 2025
    When Kimberly and I wrapped Episode 3, we thought that was it. We had laid the foundation: what narcissistic abuse looks like, why it’s so hard to leave, and the trauma that keeps survivors stuck in cycles of confusion and guilt. We closed the conversation… and then we looked at each other and said, “It’s not over.”Because the truth is, it never ends at awareness. It doesn't even end at leaving. For many survivors, that’s when the real war begins.This is Episode 4 in our ongoing series on narcissistic abuse. If you haven’t yet, please catch up on the previous episodes—each one builds upon the next:📺 Watch the full playlist on YouTubeIn this episode, Kimberly Weeks (@thenarcissisticabusecoach) and I open up a raw, often silenced chapter: what happens when you go through the family court system with a narcissistic partner.We’re not sugarcoating it. This is a trigger warning if you’re deep in this process. We talk honestly about:What You’re Really Up AgainstLeaving a narcissist isn’t just about packing a bag or signing papers. It’s about disrupting the perfect image they’ve spent years curating. Whether you leave or they file first—it doesn't matter. The moment the separation becomes public, their mask begins to crack, and they will do whatever it takes to preserve it. That’s what narcissistic injury looks like.What many survivors don’t realize is how the legal system becomes another stage for performance. A courtroom becomes a tool of manipulation. The narcissist uses it to flip the narrative: they become the victim, and you—the one who has endured the abuse—are painted as unstable, emotional, unfit, irrational.Why the Court Doesn’t Care About “Justice”We go into these courtrooms expecting fairness. We think someone will finally see the truth. But family court isn’t criminal court. It’s not built to acknowledge coercive control or emotional abuse. It’s built to divide assets and assign parenting time.And that hurts. Especially when you know you’ve endured harm that can’t be seen on paper. You might think, “Finally, someone will understand what I’ve been through.” But the court doesn’t operate in truth—it operates in evidence. Cold facts. And when the harm has been invisible or expertly hidden, survivors are often left retraumatized by the very system they hoped would bring healing.How the Narcissist Plays the Long GameKimberly and I talk about how narcissists use every opportunity—from mediation to court hearings—to provoke you. Because if you lose your composure, they win. If you stay calm, they unravel.They charm the mediator. They manipulate the therapist. They use your children as leverage. They often become the model parent—posting photos, volunteering at school, showing up to events they never cared about—just to create confusion in the eyes of the court and the community. Meanwhile, you feel like you’re losing your mind.This is not an accident. It’s part of the playbook. And unless you know the rules of this game, you will be blindsided.What You Need to Hold OntoWe recorded this episode not to scare you—but to prepare you.You need one person to say, “I believe you.”You need to learn how to speak in facts, not feelings.You need to show up in court grounded in your truth, even when you’re shaking inside.And more than anything, you need to grieve the fact that this may not end the way you hoped. You may not get justice. You may not get validation. But you can still get your life back.You Are Not AloneKimberly and I hold space for this every day. And we’re not going to stop talking about it.Because when you’re going through the fire, having someone next to you who understands why it’s burning and how to walk through it makes all the difference.🛠 Learn more about Kimberly’s work at thenarcissisticabusecoach.com📺 Catch up on past episodes: Full YouTube PlaylistMore episodes are coming. More stories will be told. Until then, keep going. You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. You’re waking up.🔒 Unlock the Full Flip Your Mindset ExperienceWant to go deeper in your healing journey?Join our paid community and get exclusive access to tools and support designed to help you reclaim your story and transform your life.Here’s what you’ll get when you upgrade:✅ Weekly Flip Your Mindset podcast episodes✅ 2 Monthly LIVE Q+A Sessions with Stacey Uhrig on trauma, burnout, narcissistic abuse & recovery✅ Access to premium mental health resources (worksheets, guides, ebooks & more)It’s not just content—it’s a healing container.🧠 Ready to heal, grow, and connect? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe
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    1 hr and 9 mins