This episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast explores one of the most overlooked dimensions of divorce: a child’s lived experience inside the conflict process.

While parents navigate legal decisions, emotional strain, and uncertainty, there is often a well-intended instinct to protect children by minimizing what they see or feel. But what happens when that protection becomes silence—and a child’s experience goes unacknowledged?

Tracy is joined by Carolyn Jacobs—certified divorce and co-parenting coach, parenting plan mediator, and DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach—to examine the critical distinction between shielding children from conflict and unintentionally disconnecting from their reality. Together, they unpack how children process what they sense versus what they’re told, the risks of “holding it together,” and how parents can model emotional honesty without placing emotional weight on the child.

Grounded in DCA®’s framing of divorce as a conflict and communication process, this conversation highlights how parent-child communication during divorce shapes a child’s long-term ability to navigate relationships, conflict, and self-expression. The episode also offers practical insight for professionals supporting parents who may be unintentionally minimizing their child’s experience—and how to begin repairing that dynamic.

The conversation extends into a broader lens on civil discourse, exploring how what happens inside the home directly influences a child’s ability to engage with difference and disagreement outside of it.

Carolyn also shares more about her upcoming Conversations that Contribute Series event: Fostering Civil Discourse Among Youth: A Conversation with Dr. Michael Saini. This 60-minute virtual event will take place on Wednesday, April 15, 2026 at 4 PM ET (1 PM PT / 3 PM CT), with tickets available for $10. Hosted by Ally in Divorce, the conversation supports Kids Managing Conflict, a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening peer mediation programs in schools. Register Here

This is a nuanced and highly relevant conversation for divorce professionals, parents, and anyone invested in how the next generation learns to navigate conflict—with clarity, empathy, and integrity.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy

LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy

Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The moment a divorcing client looks at us and says, “Just tell me what to do,” it can feel almost cruel not to step in with the answer. But that impulse is exactly where ethics, skill, and real transformation live. We sit down with Andrea Hips, LCSW and certified divorce coach, to talk about power, agency, and why “being the expert” can quietly become the fastest way to take power away from the person we’re trying to help.

We get specific about the difference between power and control, and why divorce makes people chase certainty like it’s oxygen. When a client clings to one outcome, we unpack what they’re really reaching for: safety, stability, and relief from overwhelm. From there we move into practical coaching tools for conflict-informed divorce coaching and alternative dispute resolution minded support, including how to slow down decisions under legal pressure, how to build distress tolerance, and how to help clients act wisely while uncertainty stays right beside them.

We also name the subtle ways coaches can unintentionally influence choices through tone, affirmations, and question framing. Andrea shares a simple North Star: there are many right answers, and hindsight isn’t something you can buy today. Protecting client agency is not a “nice to have” in divorce coaching, it’s the standard that builds capacity, reduces escalation, and helps clients leave coaching stronger than they arrived.

If you care about ethical divorce coaching, client autonomy, and decision making in high-conflict divorce, listen through and take notes. Subscribe, share this with a coach or friend going through divorce, and leave a review with the biggest shift you’re taking from the conversation.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The conversation delves into the foundational principles of dispute resolution, emphasizing the importance of self-actualization and the role of divorce coaches in supporting growth and development. It highlights the value of presence and process, the need to tolerate slower progress for alignment, and the challenge of recognizing and managing personal discomfort in the process.

Takeaways

• Self-actualization is essential in dispute resolution
• The value of presence and process in supporting growth and development

Chapters

• 00:00 Foundational Principles of Dispute Resolution
• 06:09 Recognizing the Need for Self-Actualization
• 12:11 Value of Presence and Process
• 17:52 Recognizing and Managing Personal Discomfort

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Our guest today smashes the idea that an "amicable divorce" means that the couple is getting along and getting to agreement without conflict. Instead, she promotes the revolutionary idea that it's the mindset of the professionals involved that determine whether the divorce process is amicable.

We’re pleased to introduce you to Tracy Moore-Grant, Founder of the Amicable Divorce Network. The Amicable Divorce Network (ADN) is a global network of seasoned, licensed professionals who are dedicated to helping families navigate divorce through the Amicable Divorce Process, a modern, civilized, transparent, and cost effective alternative to adversarial divorce litigation. They are the only network in the world vetting divorce professionals for their experience, commitment to a resolution-focused practice, and engagement in fair billing practices.

More and more family law attorneys are exiting the world of litigation because they see what it does to families and it doesn't align with their personal values. Tracy explains this concept of "moral injury" and why it is the driving force behind the shift we are seeing in how divorce professionals choose to use their gifts and skills.

When professionals are focused on resolution, it saves clients time, money, and emotional energy. As Tracy explains, handing over decision making power to an adversarial attorney or a judge is an expensive way to be sure you spend money you don't have on things you might not want.

The bottom line is that the professionals you choose to work with have a tremendous amount of influence on your divorce process, the cost and the level of conflict - choose carefully!

Find Tracy and the Amicable Divorce Network:

Tracy's ABA Article: The Argument For Less Argument in Divorce
ADN Website: amicabledivorcenetwork.com or divorceamicably.com
Find an ADN Professional: Member Directory

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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In past episodes we’ve talked about strategies you can use with clients to improve their chances of success in mediation. But today we dig into the importance of choosing the right mediator and what to do if your mediator or your client’s mediator seems to be the one complicating the process.

We review the role of a mediator and some of the professional ethics they are bound by because one thing that can cause problems is when clients don't have a clear understanding of what the process is (and what it isn’t).

Then we offer up 8 important questions for your client to ask any mediator they are considering working with. And we identify 4 red flags to watch out for during the mediation process. Finally, we discuss 4 courses of action someone can take if they feel like their mediator is conducting themselves in a manner that violates the standards of neutrality, impartiality or self-determination.

Just like every other part of their divorce, we encourage clients to take charge of their own process and that includes any professionals they hire to assist them.

Resource: Academy of Professional Family Mediators Standards of Practice for Professional Family Mediators

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Today we're shining a light on two of the biggest struggles faced by those of us running our businesses solo. And we can tell you from years of experience working with and training certified divorce coaches, the majority of us are independent practitioners. From juggling multiple hats to navigating the sometimes lonely path of entrepreneurship, we're doing it all. And, not everyone makes it.

Solopreneurship is not just a business venture; it's a courageous journey where we are the architects of our own destiny, navigating the challenges of self-reliance, embracing the solitude of innovation, and finding strength in the resilience of our entrepreneurial spirit. Exciting on one hand, yet tremendously scary at the same time!

Being a solopreneur is not for the faint of heart. We were exhausted just talking through the list of all the roles we have to play. And trying to do it all in isolation without support or social interaction - well that doubles the difficulty.

We've shared that scary ICF statistic that 4 out of 5 coaching businesses fail. But we know plenty of divorce coaching professionals who have thriving practices - it just takes strategy and intention to combat the struggles of solopreneurship. So while you may be running a solo practice, you don't have to do it alone!

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Tracy and Debra are back on their microphones telling some truths this week. One of our absolute core values is to advocate for the professional practice of divorce coaching and yet we keep coming up against 2 things that make us crazy. The first one, we talked about a couple of weeks ago and that is individuals using the title of divorce coach without the proper training. If you missed that episode, it’s #74 and we recommend you give that a listen before you dive into this. It might give you some background and context.

But today, we really want to wrestle with the idea that there is no oversight in the divorce coaching industry. There’s no organization that determines which training programs meet minimum standards. Hell, no one has even defined what those standards are.

We review some of the components of most professional designations and what's missing in the profession of divorce coaching including:

• Educational Standards/Requirements
• Residency/Supervision
• Examination
• Continuing Education

Finally, we tackle the trademark fallacy. A trademark is NOT an assurance of quality, it's NOT an assurance of standards, recognition or status - it’s just branding. For about $250, you file some paperwork with the USPTO and, voila!, you've got a trademark to protect the name of your company, your logo, or your program. Any language that suggests otherwise is intentionally misleading.

All we can do for now is continue to remind both potential learners and clients to pause before they believe everything they read. Encourage them to take responsibility for their own process and do their research, ask questions, and make sure they’re getting what they think they’re getting. A name, a trademark, fancy language, or a title doesn’t mean a thing in this world. It’s buyer beware.

Learn more about DCA™ or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Today, we thought it might be fun, interesting, and helpful to demonstrate what it sounds like when a coaching session goes wrong. We were looking back on some of our most popular podcast episodes and we noticed that many of the most downloaded topics were related to effective coaching skills. A few of the super popular ones include:

Ep #50 - You're Not a Cheerleader, You’re a Coach

Ep# 39 - Why We Hate Toxic Positivity (And Why We Think It’s Harmful for Clients)

Ep #27 - Curse Words in Coaching: I Think, I Believe, You Should, and I Understand

So we’re going to run through a short coaching session demo and then break it down for you. Listen in and see if you can catch the moments when Tracy steps out of the coaching zone.

What did you notice? Let’s break down some of the problems we hope you were able to identify in this extreme example.

• Dismissive/Invalidating
• No Session Focus
• Directive
• Talking vs. Listening
• Giving Legal Advice
• Conflict Escalation

When we mentor new coaches, these are precisely the missteps we see over and over again. The good news is that by going back to foundational coaching frameworks, we can adjust and provide a much more effective coaching experience for the client.

If you'd like to do some self-reflection and make sure you're staying in the coaching zone with your clients, we invite you to join our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group. This group of professional divorce coaches meets twice a month to discuss difficult cases, best practices, and encourage each other to be their best selves.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com