The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past — we all have them, but how much do they actually shape who we are in relationships today? In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly spill the tea on how exes linger in our minds and what it means for dating in the here and now. From the emotional baggage that sneaks into new relationships to the little patterns we repeat without realizing it, we’re unpacking it all.

We’ll talk about things like projection (a.k.a. putting your old partner’s stuff on your new one), transference (when your new boo gets blamed for what your ex did), and hypervigilance (the overthinking spiral where you’re constantly on guard). Sounds heavy, but don’t worry—we’re mixing the real talk with laughter, honesty, and a little bit of therapy wisdom.

Therapeutic Takeaways

• Awareness is everything. The first step in breaking old patterns is noticing when your ex’s “ghost” shows up in your current relationship.
• Give yourself grace. Healing isn’t linear—past relationships leave marks, but they don’t have to define your future.
• Stay curious, not critical. Instead of judging yourself for slipping into old habits, ask: “What is this trying to teach me?”
• Therapy helps. Talking about your “ghosts” in a safe space can help you release what’s no longer serving you.

Whether you’re haunted by an old situationship or just want to better understand your dating brain, this episode is your permission slip to face the ghosts, laugh at the cringe, and grow in the process.

Related Episodes:

• Is 'The One' Even Real? Unpacking Soulmate Myths and Dating with Intention
• Breadcrumbing, Benching, and Other Bullsh*t: Modern dating behaviors that mess with your head

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly dive into the intersections of dating, friendships, and the ever-present influence of social media. They unpack how podcasts shape modern perspectives on dating, the shifting dynamics of friendships across different life stages, and the challenges of people-pleasing in maintaining authentic connections. Together, they explore the importance of empathy, open communication, and recognizing that friendships can thrive even when people are in different seasons of life.

Key Takeaways:

• Singlehood is often misunderstood and unfairly labeled as fragile.
• Friendship dynamics naturally shift when relationship statuses change.
• Social media amplifies comparison and insecurity.
• People-pleasing can make friendships more complicated.
• Open and honest communication strengthens friendships.
• It’s normal for friendships to ebb and flow over time.
• Empathy is essential for understanding friends’ experiences.
• Recognizing different life stages can deepen connection.
• Strong friendships don’t require being in the same phase of life.

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• Self-worth should not be defined by relationship status.
• Boundaries help reduce people-pleasing and strengthen friendships.
• Normalizing friendship transitions can reduce shame and guilt.
• Compassion and curiosity foster healthier, more authentic relationships.
• Awareness of social media’s impact allows for more intentional connection.

Related Episodes:

• Is 'The One' Even Real? Unpacking Soulmate Myths and Dating with Intention
• Relationship Milestones That Matter

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode, Amelia and Lilly dive into the infatuation-filled fog of new relationships—also known as the honeymoon phase… or, as they lovingly call it, boyfriend sickness. They explore what happens when all your time, energy, and identity start orbiting a new partner—and what that shift means for your friendships, your autonomy, and your group chats that have suddenly gone quiet.

With stories like Amelia’s grandma’s dating escapades and Lilly’s lessons on merging partner and friend worlds, they break down the emotional whiplash of early love, the loss of “I” language, and why some of your best friendships might quietly take a hit during those first few months of romantic bliss.

This one’s a must-listen if you’ve ever felt torn between being obsessed with someone and accidentally ghosting your best friends.

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• The honeymoon phase is exciting—but intense connection can unintentionally isolate you.
• “Boyfriend sickness” is real: infatuation often pulls focus from friends and routines.
• If everything becomes “we,” check in with yourself—and your people.
• Friendships can stretch, but they still need care and communication.
• Different relationship stages (like long-distance or 24/7 closeness) impact how this phase feels.
• Healthy check-ins help you avoid resentment before it builds—on either side.
• You’re allowed to be in love and still make space for the ones who’ve been there all along.

Related Episodes:

• Timelines and Reclaiming Your Path
• Relationship Milestones That Matter

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly explore the myth of "The One" — the idea that there is just one person we're destined to be with. They break down where this belief comes from, how it shapes expectations in dating, and the emotional toll it can take on those trying to navigate modern relationships.
Rooted in therapeutic insight and real-life reflection, the conversation unpacks how the soulmate narrative can fuel anxiety, fear of failure, and emotional stuckness. Amelia and Lilly offer a healthier, more empowering reframe of love as a choice rooted in mutual growth, emotional safety, and self-trust.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why the pressure to find “The One” creates emotional avoidance and perfectionism
• How this belief can be tied to early attachment wounds and black-and-white thinking
• A new approach to dating that centers values, compatibility, and secure attachment
• Reflective questions to help listeners shift from certainty-seeking to curiosity and connection

Unsolicited Advice of the Week:

“It’s not about finding someone flawless — it’s about choosing someone real, again and again, and being chosen back.”

Listener Prompt:

When have you believed in “The One,” and how did that affect your dating or relationship experience? Amelia and Lilly invite listeners to share their stories, send a DM, or submit a question for a future episode.

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode, Amelia and Lilly are joined by therapist Hilary Rosenberg for the conversation your TikTok algorithm hinted at but never fully explained: attachment styles—and how they quietly (or loudly) shape your dating life in your 20s.

Together, they unpack the four main styles (anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure) and explore how each one shows up in modern relationships. From the anxious-avoidant pull to the ways dating apps poke at our deepest insecurities, they explore how early experiences and emotional blueprints keep playing out in adult love—and what to do about it.

Hilary offers a refreshingly grounded take, including her signature “full-body yes” metaphor to help listeners tune into their nervous systems and navigate dating with more clarity, curiosity, and self-trust.

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• Attachment styles are learned early—usually before you knew what dating even was.
• The anxious/avoidant dynamic is common, but not sustainable without growth.
• TikTok might help you name your patterns; therapy helps you shift them.
• Insecure attachment often leads to code-switching or people-pleasing in dating.
• Online dating tends to magnify existing attachment triggers.
• Regulating your nervous system (not your hinge profile) is the real game-changer.
• Safe relationships support healing—but they might feel unfamiliar at first.

Related Episodes:

• Modern Love & Materialism: A Deep Dive into Celine Song’s Materialists
• Breadcrumbing, Benching, and Other Bullsh*t: Modern dating behaviors that mess with your head

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin
Hilary Rosenberg: Millennium | LinkedIn

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode of Dating In Your 20s, hosts Amelia and Lilly unpack how internalized beauty standards influence not only who people find attractive—but who they believe they're allowed to date.

Drawing from both personal experience and a therapeutic lens, the hosts explore how messages from media, family, and culture shape unconscious dating rules: who is considered "out of your league," what kinds of relationships feel validating, and why some connections feel more like social proof than genuine partnership.

They also explore how these standards intersect with body image, race, gender, and desirability politics, and how shame, comparison, and perfectionism often show up in the dating process. Through reflective questions and psychological insight, the episode challenges listeners to consider whether they're dating based on true connection or based on who they think they're supposed to be with.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt not “hot enough,” settled because of insecurity, or chased validation through dating. It invites listeners to move away from hierarchy-based attraction and toward dating with clarity, confidence, and emotional authenticity.
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In this episode, we discuss:

• The roots of beauty standards and how they shape attraction
• The emotional impact of “leagues,” comparison, and dating from insecurity
• Attachment theory and how early experiences influence who we pursue
• The difference between connection and validation
• Practical tools for unlearning dating patterns shaped by internalized standards

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

Let’s be honest: conflict in your 20s can feel like emotional quicksand. In this episode, Amelia and Lilly are digging into what really happens when things get tense in romantic relationships—and why your instinct to shut down, fix everything immediately, or launch into defense mode actually makes a lot of sense (but might not be helping).

Amelia and Lilly introduce a concept called Conflict Languages—think love languages, but for when you’re spiraling mid-disagreement. From ghosting and freezing to blaming and peacemaking at warp speed, we explore how our go-to conflict styles are shaped by old wounds, family dynamics, and that fun blend of anxiety + people-pleasing.

“We’re not here to tell you how to fight “right,” but we are here to help you make sense of what’s happening under the surface—and how to stay connected (to yourself and your partner) when things get hard.”

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• Conflict feels terrifying when you’ve never seen it modeled in a healthy way.
• Your conflict style—avoid, fix, freeze, blame—isn’t random. It’s rooted in protection.
• Avoidance can look like ghosting, shutting down, or pretending it’s fine (it’s not).
• Fix-it-fast mode usually shows up when anxiety hijacks the conversation.
• Blame + deflect? That’s your nervous system trying to stay in control.
• The freeze response often leads to silent resentment and unmet needs.
• Knowing your conflict language helps you communicate before things escalate.
• Self-awareness turns conflict from a power struggle into a chance to grow.
• Healthy conflict isn’t the absence of tension—it’s the presence of repair.

Related Episodes:

• Dating in Your 20s Series: Putting Yourself Out There
• Dating in Your 20s Series: Self-Growth Through Dating Reflection

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode, Lilly and Amelia unpack the complicated relationship between alcohol and dating in your 20s. From social drinking norms to the deeper psychological patterns behind why we reach for a drink on first dates, this conversation explores what happens when alcohol becomes a default part of how we connect—and what it might be covering up.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why alcohol is so often part of the dating script
• The pressure to drink in social and romantic settings
• How alcohol impacts communication, consent, and emotional safety
• When drinking helps—and when it hinders—authentic connection
• The link between anxiety, attachment styles, and alcohol use in dating\
• Therapist-approved strategies for reflecting on your habits and building confidence without substances

Key Takeaways:

• Internal check-in questions to ask yourself before or after a date
• Healthy alternatives to alcohol when managing social anxiety
• Tips for exploring sober curiosity or mindful drinking in your dating life

Note:

We’re not anti-drinking—but we are pro-intention. Whether you drink regularly, socially, or not at all, this episode is a chance to reflect on how alcohol shows up in your love life—and what kind of connection you’re really looking for.

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com