The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past — we all have them, but how much do they actually shape who we are in relationships today? In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly spill the tea on how exes linger in our minds and what it means for dating in the here and now. From the emotional baggage that sneaks into new relationships to the little patterns we repeat without realizing it, we’re unpacking it all.

We’ll talk about things like projection (a.k.a. putting your old partner’s stuff on your new one), transference (when your new boo gets blamed for what your ex did), and hypervigilance (the overthinking spiral where you’re constantly on guard). Sounds heavy, but don’t worry—we’re mixing the real talk with laughter, honesty, and a little bit of therapy wisdom.

Therapeutic Takeaways

• Awareness is everything. The first step in breaking old patterns is noticing when your ex’s “ghost” shows up in your current relationship.
• Give yourself grace. Healing isn’t linear—past relationships leave marks, but they don’t have to define your future.
• Stay curious, not critical. Instead of judging yourself for slipping into old habits, ask: “What is this trying to teach me?”
• Therapy helps. Talking about your “ghosts” in a safe space can help you release what’s no longer serving you.

Whether you’re haunted by an old situationship or just want to better understand your dating brain, this episode is your permission slip to face the ghosts, laugh at the cringe, and grow in the process.

Related Episodes:

• Is 'The One' Even Real? Unpacking Soulmate Myths and Dating with Intention
• Breadcrumbing, Benching, and Other Bullsh*t: Modern dating behaviors that mess with your head

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly dive into the intersections of dating, friendships, and the ever-present influence of social media. They unpack how podcasts shape modern perspectives on dating, the shifting dynamics of friendships across different life stages, and the challenges of people-pleasing in maintaining authentic connections. Together, they explore the importance of empathy, open communication, and recognizing that friendships can thrive even when people are in different seasons of life.

Key Takeaways:

• Singlehood is often misunderstood and unfairly labeled as fragile.
• Friendship dynamics naturally shift when relationship statuses change.
• Social media amplifies comparison and insecurity.
• People-pleasing can make friendships more complicated.
• Open and honest communication strengthens friendships.
• It’s normal for friendships to ebb and flow over time.
• Empathy is essential for understanding friends’ experiences.
• Recognizing different life stages can deepen connection.
• Strong friendships don’t require being in the same phase of life.

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• Self-worth should not be defined by relationship status.
• Boundaries help reduce people-pleasing and strengthen friendships.
• Normalizing friendship transitions can reduce shame and guilt.
• Compassion and curiosity foster healthier, more authentic relationships.
• Awareness of social media’s impact allows for more intentional connection.

Related Episodes:

• Is 'The One' Even Real? Unpacking Soulmate Myths and Dating with Intention
• Relationship Milestones That Matter

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode, Amelia and Lilly dive into the infatuation-filled fog of new relationships—also known as the honeymoon phase… or, as they lovingly call it, boyfriend sickness. They explore what happens when all your time, energy, and identity start orbiting a new partner—and what that shift means for your friendships, your autonomy, and your group chats that have suddenly gone quiet.

With stories like Amelia’s grandma’s dating escapades and Lilly’s lessons on merging partner and friend worlds, they break down the emotional whiplash of early love, the loss of “I” language, and why some of your best friendships might quietly take a hit during those first few months of romantic bliss.

This one’s a must-listen if you’ve ever felt torn between being obsessed with someone and accidentally ghosting your best friends.

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• The honeymoon phase is exciting—but intense connection can unintentionally isolate you.
• “Boyfriend sickness” is real: infatuation often pulls focus from friends and routines.
• If everything becomes “we,” check in with yourself—and your people.
• Friendships can stretch, but they still need care and communication.
• Different relationship stages (like long-distance or 24/7 closeness) impact how this phase feels.
• Healthy check-ins help you avoid resentment before it builds—on either side.
• You’re allowed to be in love and still make space for the ones who’ve been there all along.

Related Episodes:

• Timelines and Reclaiming Your Path
• Relationship Milestones That Matter

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com