Pirate Humour

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

Gold coins from a centuries-old sunken treasure ship have been found on the beach in Cawsand. This would be no cause for Tempest Michaels to take notice, but a man murdered by the ghost of a dead pirate come to claim back the gold? That ticks all his boxes. Tempest, oblivious to the events in Cawsand and believing he was overdue a week off, has traveled to Cornwall with his dogs for some relaxation and perhaps a cream tea or two. Well, fat chance of that, because he is hip-deep in murderous ghosts before he finishes his second pint.

In a former life, Nick Lutz, sold cars in the Golden State. He had a wife and a young son, and they struggled along until Nick was shot in the head when a potential customer hijacked the car he was demonstrating. The incident sets off a bad-luck domino fall, and he loses an eye, his job, his family, and, eventually, his self-respect. With nothing left, Nick heads for Mexico, where he sheds his former self among an eclectic group of expats and locals, who fondly name him “Pirata” on account of his eye patch.

It is 1837, and for the luxuriantly bearded Pirate Captain and his rag-tag pirate crew, life on the high seas has gotten a little dull. With nothing to do but twiddle their hooks and lounge aimlessly on tropical beaches, the Captain decides it's time they had an adventure. A surprisingly successful boat raid leads them to the young Charles Darwin, in desperate need of their help. And so the pirates set forth for London in a bid to save the scientist from the evil machinations of a diabolical Bishop.

Hi, my name is Vincent Connor, and I'm the author. I don't consider myself an author as such, as this is my first ever book. However, I found it immensely enjoyable writing this book, and I hope that you find as much pleasure in listening to it. This book came to me in an almost blinding flash. The story, in verse, just seemed to appear in my head from nowhere, and I felt compelled to write it down. As I did so, more verses came to me, and before I knew it, I had over 30 verses typed up.