IMNarcEvil

I am the narcissist. I do everything that I can to gather fuel. I have different types of fuel, and I only allow people into my life who I can get fuel from. If I don’t think something or someone can continue to supply me with the types of fuel that I need, I will devalue, discard, or destroy them. Fuel is the reason that I live, work, and thrive. Fuel is the only thing that drives all of my motivation, ambition, and strategy.

I am the narcissist. I suffer through my moods and my emotions. But they are not the same moods that you suffer through as an empath. I don’t suffer the same range of emotions that you suffer through. I don’t feel the depth of the love, the joy, the happiness, the satisfaction, the gratefulness, and the compassion. No. I suffer dark moods. Much darker than I will ever let on to you when you first meet me.

I am the narcissist. I have propaganda. I have an agenda. Everything I do is executed with precision and purpose. If you don’t go along with my propaganda, I will do everything I can do to crush you. I will use whatever means necessary to defend my honor and to hide my true nature from the rest of the world. I know that I am a monster deep inside.

I am the narcissist. I have tactics to make you talk when I want you to talk. To make you shut up when I want you to shut up. To make you sit on reserve and wait around for me to come back. To make you stay faithful and loyal to me. To punish you when you betray me. To collect all of your resources. All of my kind are taught from early on to get a "Go-Getter". This is a girl who works for resources, status, power, and money. I ride her coattails. I drop her off at work. I "go get her" when she is done working. Then, I take everything there is to take from her.

I am the narcissist. I am chock full of wickedness. You think that you can have realistic expectations of me, but I will do whatever I can do to throw you off your game. I love devouring empaths. Those who are lonely. Those who have been abused and damaged. Those are the easiest prey for me. I target especially those who don’t put up much of a fight.  

I am the narcissist. I have many secrets. Some you will find out about. Some you will not find out about. I will only let you in on the ones that I think will help me to control you and make you obey me unquestioningly. To be in this union, I must command your undying loyalty. Anything less than that will not be acceptable. If you find out about one of my secrets that you weren’t meant to find out, I will punish you via abuse or silent treatment so that you will learn to stop snooping on me.

I am the narcissist. I am allowed to get angry. I can unleash my anger in many forms, and it is socially acceptable to society. You, however, cannot unleash your anger on anyone. You are not allowed to do so, as society doesn’t like empaths who show their anger. You are expected to be prim and proper and put together at all costs and under all circumstances. I expect you to be 100% obedient to me at all costs. Don’t you unleash your anger on me, or there will be consequences. I am your master.

I am the narcissist. You and I made a covenant, a binding agreement, when we first met. I didn’t tell you about it, but you wanted to enter into a relationship with me, thus you unknowingly opted in. Didn’t you collect intel on me to try to determine my true nature before I ensnared you? That is your own fault. That’s right, it was my charming and glib personality. It was the way that I mirrored whatever you wanted back to you. You thought I was your soul mate, remember? Your twin flame. I mirrored you to yourself.

I am the narcissist. My love is conditional. My love is passive-aggressive. My love is jealous. My love hurts. My love is like the thorns on a rose. You pick me up, thinking I am beautiful, then you drop me to the ground realizing that I’ve just cut you and made you bleed. My love isn’t what you thought it was. My love isn’t real. My love isn’t the fairy tale that you have imagined it would be. My love is cruel. My love is bitter, like a mouthful of stale, swilled coffee. My love is abusive and controlling. My love is violent.

I am the narcissist. I will do whatever I want to whenever I want to do it. I will intimidate, triangulate, gaslight, abuse, and scare you at will. I will put you at the center of my friends and my family so that I can control your behavior from all sides and from all angles. You think that you have entered this relationship of your own free will. Not so. You have entered this relationship, and now you are not allowed to leave it before I feel it is time to discard you.