Showing results by author "Dustin Gross" in All Categories
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How to Tokyo
- A Guide to Surviving, Thriving, and Not Getting Arrested in Japan
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Bradley Oconnor
- Length: 1 hr and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Planning a trip to Japan? Ditch the boring guidebooks and download the only Tokyo travel book that tells you what REALLY happens when you step into the neon chaos of Japan’s capital.
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How to Tokyo
- A Guide to Surviving, Thriving, and Not Getting Arrested in Japan
- Narrated by: Bradley Oconnor
- Length: 1 hr and 51 mins
- Release date: 14-07-2025
- Language: English
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Questing Ain’t Easy
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Evan Henderson
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Kevin of No Particular Skills never asked to be the Chosen One. He just wanted to tend his cabbages and use the outhouse in peace. But when a flaming prophet crashes into his field screaming about world-ending darkness, Kevin is thrust into a quest he never wanted—with a magical talking sword named Wendy (who really wants to cuddle), a rage-prone princess with trust issues, a washed-up alcoholic knight, and a goblin going through a motivational cult phase. Together, this chaotic band of misfits is Eldoria’s last hope. Probably. Maybe. Okay, not really—but the prophecy insists.
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Questing Ain’t Easy
- Narrated by: Evan Henderson
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Release date: 17-07-2025
- Language: English
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Holy Crap, They Cloned Jesus (Again)
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Kevin Meyer
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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What if Jesus was cloned… and didn’t want to save the world? In the neon-drenched dystopia of 2144, spirituality is a subscription service, and megachurches sell miracles like fast food. Meet Jesus 3. 0, the latest cloned messiah, who’s more anxious human than divine savior. Teamed with Sadie Vox, a jaded ex-pastor, Gary, a foul-mouthed donkey prophet, and Bishop Synth, a sentient AI toaster, Jesus must navigate a world where faith is a brand and love is a liability.
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Holy Crap, They Cloned Jesus (Again)
- Narrated by: Kevin Meyer
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Release date: 06-08-2025
- Language: English
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Emperor Pissed
- The Rise and Rants of Percy the Penguin
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: L. Connor McGeverly
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Percy: a short-tempered emperor penguin with delusions of grandeur, a vocabulary that could peel paint off an iceberg, and a dream of ruling the South Pole—with violence, vengeance, and unapologetic sarcasm. After getting booted from his colony for flipper-based misconduct and general rage issues, Percy stumbles into the under-ice criminal underworld. What follows is a riotous rise through penguin slap-fights, seal mafia showdowns, and emotionally unstable puffins—with Percy building an empire of ice, fish, and fury.
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Emperor Pissed
- The Rise and Rants of Percy the Penguin
- Narrated by: L. Connor McGeverly
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Release date: 09-07-2025
- Language: English
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The Keys of Heaven and the Sins of Earth
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Brian Gallegos
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Dive into the wild, sacred, and scandalous 2,000-year saga of the Catholic Church with The Keys of Heaven and the Sins of Earth by Dustin Gross—a brutally honest history that pulls no punches. From catacombs to cathedrals, this book uncovers the Church’s greatest hits and darkest misses: saintly heroes like Oscar Romero, power-hungry popes plotting like mob bosses, and earth-shaking controversies from the Crusades to modern abuse scandals.
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The Keys of Heaven and the Sins of Earth
- Narrated by: Brian Gallegos
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Release date: 09-07-2025
- Language: English
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Barry the Pigeon
- War, Wings, and Nicotine Dreams
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: W.A. Yuster
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Barry. He’s a nicotine-addicted war veteran with Irritable Bird Syndrome and a grudge against influencer falcons. Once a legendary pigeon in the Bagel Wars of ’09, Barry Fin now spends his days chain-smoking on rooftops, pooping on Teslas, and screaming at TikTok sparrows. But when a smug perchfluencer named SkyDaddy69 starts gentrifying the skies of Brooklyn, Barry’s not about to take it sitting down (mostly because his gut won’t let him).
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Barry the Pigeon
- War, Wings, and Nicotine Dreams
- Narrated by: W.A. Yuster
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Release date: 30-06-2025
- Language: English
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Holy F-Bombs
- How I Cuss Like a Sailor and Still Love Jesus
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Daniel Davis
- Length: 2 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever feel like your flaws—cussing, temper, or all-out messiness—disqualify you from God’s love? Dustin Gross gets it. In this raw, hilarious Christian memoir, he shares his journey of wrestling with faith, failure, and the relentless grace that holds it all together. With wit and heart, Holy F-Bombs invites you into a faith that’s real, not polished. Through stories of shouting prayers and biblical hotheads like Peter, Gross reveals how God meets us in our chaos.
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Holy F-Bombs
- How I Cuss Like a Sailor and Still Love Jesus
- Narrated by: Daniel Davis
- Length: 2 hrs and 53 mins
- Release date: 27-06-2025
- Language: English
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Croak & Dagger
- The Tragically Heroic, Mildly Moist Misadventures of Frank the Frog
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Chase Johnson
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In the festering muck of Boggy Ballsack Swamp, Frank—a short-legged, rage-fueled frog—croaks his way through a dark comedy fantasy that’s as hilarious as it is unhinged.
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Croak & Dagger
- The Tragically Heroic, Mildly Moist Misadventures of Frank the Frog
- Narrated by: Chase Johnson
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
- Release date: 09-06-2025
- Language: English
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Ragnarök and Roll
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to Norse Mythology
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Odin’s got one eye, Thor’s got zero brains, and Loki’s got no morals. Welcome to Norse Mythology—like you’ve never seen it before!
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Ragnarök and Roll
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to Norse Mythology
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Release date: 04-06-2025
- Language: English
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Axes & Asshats
- A Very Stupid Quest
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Alexander Gallacher
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In this wildly irreverent fantasy parody, four extremely unqualified adventurers are chosen to save the world—or at least not make it worse. Grogthar the Blood-Spiller: a shirtless barbarian with more biceps than brain cells. Tinsel: an elven rogue with sticky fingers and zero morals. Kevin: a depressed necromancer whose horse might be more competent than he is. Arlandio DuFlair: a bard with the libido of a god and the self-awareness of a rock.
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Axes & Asshats
- A Very Stupid Quest
- Narrated by: Alexander Gallacher
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Release date: 27-05-2025
- Language: English
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Buzz Off
- The Ballad of Barry the Bee Bastard
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Johnny Skelton
- Length: 1 hr and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Barry’s got issues. Anger issues. Drinking issues. Authority issues. Oh—and his stinger has a name. It's Carl. And Carl wants blood. After being kicked out of Bee Therapy (again), Barry finds himself slapped with Hive Probation, forced to work with a butterfly “Calmness Coach” named Clover, and hunted by riot-gear-wearing Peace-Beetles. His crime? Buzzing too hard and giving zero pollen about authority.
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Buzz Off
- The Ballad of Barry the Bee Bastard
- Narrated by: Johnny Skelton
- Length: 1 hr and 41 mins
- Release date: 24-06-2025
- Language: English
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The Ale-Stained Chronicles, Books 1, 2 and 3
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Nick Roughton
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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In the chaos of post-plague France, a bastard noble, a disgraced knight, a cunning thief, and a blasphemous priest embark on a treacherous journey to reclaim a stolen birthright. Betrayal lurks in every shadow, and the Hundred Years’ War has made mercenaries cheap—but loyalty even cheaper. As assassins, warlords, and scheming nobles close in, survival demands wit, steel, and a willingness to gamble it all. In The Ale-Stained Chronicles, honor is a myth—only the ruthless endure.
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The Ale-Stained Chronicles, Books 1, 2 and 3
- Narrated by: Nick Roughton
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Release date: 27-05-2025
- Language: English
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Flabsolutely Furious
- Chronicles of the Chunky Combat Club
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Zack Zimbler
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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They told him to shrink. He chose to suplex society instead. Ricky "Napalm" Stubbs just got fired for body-slamming a vending machine—and that was before the smart scale insulted his BMI in a British accent. Unemployed, overweight, and overwhelmingly pissed off, Ricky creates the Chunky Combat Club: a secret underground league for misfits who are thicc, ticked, and totally over it.
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Flabsolutely Furious
- Chronicles of the Chunky Combat Club
- Narrated by: Zack Zimbler
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Release date: 22-05-2025
- Language: English
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The Book of Tequila
- Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: C W Jones
- Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The sacred. The sinful. The stupid. Tequila is all of it—and this is your lime-salted, smoke-soaked guide to surviving it. There are books about tequila—and then there’s this unholy gospel of agave-fueled madness. The Book of Tequila: Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions is your laugh-out-loud, profanity-laced, weirdly informative guide to the most dangerous spirit on Earth.
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The Book of Tequila
- Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions
- Narrated by: C W Jones
- Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
- Release date: 20-05-2025
- Language: English
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How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: "Coach Gary" Micheloni
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Adulting is a scam, and you’ve been tricked into playing. Bills, burnout, awkward family gatherings—nobody warned you it’d be this chaotic. How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide you didn’t know you needed. Packed with real talk, questionable advice, and the reassurance that nobody has it figured out, this book is your go-to for navigating life’s absurdity with (mostly) your sanity intact.
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How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up
- Narrated by: "Coach Gary" Micheloni
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Release date: 13-05-2025
- Language: English
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How to Put on Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks
- A Hilarious Guide to Mastering the Basics of Existence
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Dominik Marosi
- Length: 1 hr and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Struggling to function as a responsible adult? You’re not alone. How to Put On Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud guide to surviving everyday chaos—bad alarms, awkward small talk, and grocery store blackouts. Because let’s be real: adulting is a scam, and we’re all winging it.
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How to Put on Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks
- A Hilarious Guide to Mastering the Basics of Existence
- Narrated by: Dominik Marosi
- Length: 1 hr and 22 mins
- Release date: 12-05-2025
- Language: English
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Duck Off
- The Quack Chronicles
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Tavis Doucette
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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They stole his bread. They mocked his speech. Now, he's taking it all back—one quack at a time. Meet Thaddaeus McQuack: a furious, foul-mouthed duck with a grudge the size of a city pond and a speech impediment that only makes his threats funnier. After a mime-related incident lands him in a zoo, Thaddaeus breaks free—and declares war on mankind. With a deranged cockatoo named Steve, a flying squirrel militia, and a revolution built on stale bread and pure rage, Duck Off: The Quack Chronicles is a wild, action-packed satire you never knew you needed.
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Duck Off
- The Quack Chronicles
- Narrated by: Tavis Doucette
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 12-05-2025
- Language: English
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Watches for the Rest of Us
- How to Collect Without Going Broke
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Chris Reynolds
- Length: 1 hr and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love watches but don’t have a trust fund? Think collecting great timepieces means spending thousands? Think again. Watches for the Rest of Us is the ultimate guide to building a killer watch collection—without breaking the bank. From $50 Casios to $500 Seikos, this book shows you how to find hidden gems, avoid scams, and buy the right watches for the right reasons—all while keeping your bank account intact.
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Watches for the Rest of Us
- How to Collect Without Going Broke
- Narrated by: Chris Reynolds
- Length: 1 hr and 47 mins
- Release date: 09-05-2025
- Language: English
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Holy WTF!
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to the Bible
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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The Bible: History’s most dramatic, chaotic, and WTF-inducing book... now with 100% more sarcasm. Ever wondered why God created a talking snake, why Noah willingly signed up for the worst cruise in history, or why the Book of Revelation reads like a metal album fever dream? Welcome to HOLY WTF, the irreverent, side-splittingly funny deep dive into the weirdest, wildest, and most WTF moments in the Bible. With sharp wit, dark humor, and surprisingly insightful biblical analysis, HOLY WTF is perfect for skeptics, believers, history nerds, and anyone who thinks theology could use a little comedy.
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The Exorcist’s Guide to Dating
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Sasha Maestas
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Damien is a washed-up exorcist who never believed in happy endings—until one of his cursed blog posts goes viral. Now he’s “The Loveorcist,” a foul-mouthed, whiskey-loving relationship guru for the haunted and heartbroken. Too bad his most persistent fan is a beautiful demon named Lilith…who might be falling for him.
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The Exorcist’s Guide to Dating
- Narrated by: Sasha Maestas
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Release date: 05-05-2025
- Language: English
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