Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: a giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes," "levels," and "quests," Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

A pantheon of forgotten gods. An old grudge between a talk show host, an heiress, and the man they shattered along the way. A rapidly deteriorating AI system. An inconvenient tiara upon the head of a friend.

The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.

After years as the Free States of Caldia's most lethal weapon, all I want is to study magic at Stoneway Academy and find something resembling a normal civilian life. The Great War against the Democratic Republic of Auropa has finally come to a ceasefire, but tensions haven't necessarily died down overnight.

A lush jungle teeming with danger. Savage dinosaurs seeking blood. A fallen princess intent on vengeance. A mysterious, end-of-floor celebration for the top crawlers, dubbed “The Butcher’s Masquerade”. The sixth floor. The Hunting Grounds. As the remaining crawlers battle for their lives, a new, terrible threat looms. Outside, tourists are finally allowed to enter the game, and they are here and ready to hunt. Among them is Vrah, a famed and veteran hunter, intent on collecting the biggest trophy of her career.

From exploring the [Garden of Sanctuary] to the depths of the sea, there are countless fascinating discoveries to be made. Not just in the places people go, but in the things they create... or recreate from Earth. Chocolate, lifting weights, and alcohol all flow through The Wandering Inn with unexpected consequences at times. However, there's also war, [Assassins], and scams that ruin or destroy lives. For every monster, there is an adventurer.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

Blitz is meant to be a rampaging Devastator Dragon. Unfortunately, lighting his own hearth fire isn't really a strength. When he accidentally kidnaps the black Princess Azania, the most beautiful woman in all the realms, riches, honor, and undeniable glory beckon.

Freddy Stern, a twenty-one-year-old cashier, has lived a plain, albeit harsh life. Having been orphaned—twice—he's spent the last ten years working and staying out of trouble. His only aspiration is to save enough money to become an archhuman. His dream gets the jump on him when he barely survives a near-death encounter and finds himself in possession of 1% Lifesteal, a bizarre talent with numerous contradictions and just as many uses.

Corin Cadence is on the run. After meeting with the Emerald Council, Corin has made himself some new enemies—most notably the Dalenos Six, a group of the most powerful representatives of the nation of Dalenos. He's also made a dangerous deal. A place of safety, if he can reach it. One where he can finally have one of the resources he needs most: time. But while that strange place may hold the key for Corin to make his final preparations for a long-awaited rescue mission, it also holds hidden dangers. And one final secret tied to the Cadence household.

A desperate mother. A dubious escort. And a deranged author who won’t leave them alone. Caroline Lindley is determined that her new romance novel will be her best one yet. Fantasy! Formal gowns! Fencing! And, of course, a twentysomething heroine to star in an enemies-to-lovers plot with all of Caroline’s favourite tropes. But Lady Rosamund Hawkhurst is a thirty-six-year-old widow with two children, her sole focus is facilitating a peace treaty between her adopted nation and her homeland, and she flatly refuses to take the correct approach to there being only one bed. What’s an author to do?

The citizens of Azurvale are starting to feel the pressure. War with the Empire to the south is imminent, and there's talk of the city's adventurers being drafted into the campaign. Though this conflict seems inevitable and promises to be horrific, the common folk can do little but act like there's nothing wrong. Rather than lose sleep over something so wildly out of their control, they instead worry about tiny, personal, inconsequential issues. However, the people of Azurvale have yet to find out that their capital is already under threat.

Arlo and his new party, unwillingly named Fortune’s Folly, have overcome the specter of Orexis. Regardless, the avatar’s goal was still achieved. Now, the fresh allies are holding their breath as they wait to see what consequences this will have on the world, but they’re far from idle while doing so.

According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner. So, the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan.

Josh Becker was once pretty average. That was until he won the Gigaball Lottery and got hundreds of millions of dollars (after tax). No, wait. He was still pretty average at heart even after that. It was when the portals started arriving in his backyard and he had to kill monsters every night when he started to become more of a special guy. Now armed with some kind of video-gamey "System", Josh is minding his own business, making sure to deal with the portals and the threats they send each and every night.

Having established leverage over Mordred and influence in the Cardinian government, Tim is ready to move forward with the next phase of his plan. But Mordred has an ace up his sleeve that could shift the balance of power back in his favor. Cooper and Nabi attempt to reunite with the rest of the gang. Stacy and Dave are forced to put their differences aside and work together to avoid capture and execution. Julian tries to find something productive to do while Chaz goes a little too far with the rockstar lifestyle. Katherine is done taking shit from old foes.

Stella is enjoying life as an almost student, or at least she is until a man falls from the sky right in front of her, leaving a big old hole in the pavement for Manchester Council to fill. The obvious question of how he ended up in the sky in the first place has no obvious answers, which is where The Stranger Times come in. This isn't just the hunt for another story though. Dark powers think Stella might have been involved and the only way she and the team can prove her innocence is to find out what the hell is really going on.

The witches Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick are travelling to far-distant Genua to stop a wedding and save a kingdom. But how do you fight a happy-ever-after, especially when it comes with glass slippers and a power-hungry Fairy Godmother who has made Destiny an offer it can't refuse? It's hard to resist a good story, even when the fate of the kingdom depends on it....

Fischer has everything he needs in life: blossoming friendships, a menagerie of cute animal companions, a waterfront property with easy access to fishing, and enough coffee to take out a small elephant or a really big dog. Unfortunately, Fischer can’t catch a break. Cosmic forces? Still throwing curveballs. The bigwigs in the capital? Starting to sniff around his business. Cults? Still culting. Plus, awakened beings are washing up on his shores like flotsam after a storm. And worst of all? His coffee guy ghosted him!