Showing results by publisher "Hachette Audio" in Literature & Fiction
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Two Across
- By: Jeffrey Bartsch
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Highly awkward teenager Stanley Owens meets his match in beautiful, brainy Vera Baxter when they tie for first place in the annual national spelling bee - and the two form a bond that will change both of their lives. Though their mothers have big plans for them - Stanley will become a senator, Vera a mathematics professor - neither wants to follow these predetermined paths. So Stanley hatches a scheme to marry Vera in a sham wedding for the cash gifts, hoping they will enable him to pursue his one true love: crossword puzzle construction.
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Two Across
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 9 hrs
- Release date: 04-08-2015
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $26.99 or 1 Credit
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Know Your Beholder
- A Novel
- By: Adam Rapp
- Narrated by: Adam Rapp
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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As winter deepens in snowbound Pollard, Illinois, 30-something Francis Falbo is holed up in his attic apartment, recovering from a series of traumas: his mother's death, his beloved wife's desertion, and his once-ascendant rock band's irreconcilable break-up. Francis hasn't shaved in months, hasn't so much as changed out of his bathrobe - "the uniform of a Life in Default" - for nine days.
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Know Your Beholder
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Adam Rapp
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Release date: 03-03-2015
- Language: English
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Sweetness #9
- A Novel
- By: Stephan Eirik Clark
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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It's 1973, and David Leveraux has landed his dream job as a Flavorist-in-Training, working in the secretive industry where chemists create the flavors for everything from the cherry in your can of soda to the butter on your popcorn. While testing a new artificial sweetener - Sweetness #9 - he notices unusual side-effects in the laboratory rats and monkeys: anxiety, obesity, mutism, and a generalized dissatisfaction with life. David tries to blow the whistle, but he swallows it instead.
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Sweetness #9
- A Novel
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Release date: 19-08-2014
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $26.99 or 1 Credit
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The Sugar Frosted Nutsack
- A Novel
- By: Mark Leyner
- Narrated by: Mark Leyner
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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High above the bustling streets of Dubai, in the world's most luxurious skyscraper, reside the gods and goddesses of the modern world. Since they emerged 14 billion years ago from a bus blaring a tune remarkably similar to the Mister Softee jingle, they've wreaked mischief and havoc on mankind. Unable to control their jealousies, the gods have splintered into several factions, led by the immortal enemies XOXO, Shanice, La Felina, Fast-Cooking Ali, and Mogul Magoo. Ike Karton, an unemployed butcher from New Jersey, is their current obsession.
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The Sugar Frosted Nutsack
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Mark Leyner
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Release date: 26-03-2012
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $26.99 or 1 Credit
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She Is Me
- By: Cathleen Schine
- Narrated by: Patricia Kalember
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth is an ambivalent academic living in New York City with Brett and their young son, Harry. Everyone wants Elizabeth to marry Brett, including Brett, but whenever marriage comes up, the intended bride quickly changes the subject. Then Elizabeth publishes a paper on Madame Bovary that catches the eye of an impetuous movie producer, and her life turns upside down...
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She Is Me
- Narrated by: Patricia Kalember
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Release date: 07-11-2003
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $23.99 or 1 Credit
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Jewtopia
- The Chosen Audiobook for the Chosen People
- By: Bryan Fogel, Sam Wolfson
- Narrated by: Bryan Fogel, Sam Wolfson
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Abridged
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From the creators of the smash hit play comes the ultimate audiobook of Jewish humor, a hysterical guide to Judaism that explores all of the religion's stereotypes, history, and shameless guilt trips.
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Jewtopia
- The Chosen Audiobook for the Chosen People
- Narrated by: Bryan Fogel, Sam Wolfson
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Release date: 27-09-2006
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $16.99 or 1 Credit
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Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies
- On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
- By: Chris Kluwe
- Narrated by: Chris Kluwe
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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"What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.) Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING. Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: 'This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human.' So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this 'collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories' (I have no idea why that's in quotes)."
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Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies
- On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
- Narrated by: Chris Kluwe
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Release date: 25-06-2013
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $20.99 or 1 Credit
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Little Nuggets of Wisdom
- Big Advice from the Small Star of Chelsea Lately
- By: Chuy Bravo, Tom Brunelle
- Narrated by: Brad Wollack
- Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In this very first book from the man Chelsea Handler calls her "little nugget" and "assistant," Chuy Bravo reveals his hilarious, one-of-a-kind approach to life. Now anyone can live and love the Chuy Bravo way, thanks to this book and its little nuggets of advice covering family, finances, friendship, fashion, travel, food, fitness, and more.
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Little Nuggets of Wisdom
- Big Advice from the Small Star of Chelsea Lately
- Narrated by: Brad Wollack
- Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
- Release date: 01-04-2010
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $9.99 or 1 Credit
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The Aardvark Is Ready for War
- By: James W. Blinn
- Narrated by: Dorian Harewood
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Abridged
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Nicknamed after the gas mask he and his fellow soldiers will wear as they fight in the Persian Gulf War, Aardvark is a tactical jet crewman headed for combat in this dark comedy. He recounts the days before he is called to fight and the carrier's progress toward its destination in blistering prose. The war is really happening on TV, and everyone on the ship is tuned to CNN. Aardvark wanders the ship with video camera in hand, filming the rule-bound officers, musclehead bunkmates, and porn entrepreneurs in an attempt to tune out reality. But as the ship nears its destination, he is forced to face his growing fears and sense of alienation.
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The Aardvark Is Ready for War
- Narrated by: Dorian Harewood
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Release date: 16-12-1999
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $12.99 or 1 Credit
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My Name Is Will
- A Novel of Sex, Drugs, and Shakespeare
- By: Jess Winfield
- Narrated by: Jess Winfield
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Willie Shakespeare Greenberg is not living up to his name. It's 1986, and instead of finishing his thesis on the Bard, this grad student is saying "yes" to drugs, bedding coeds, and delivering a giant psychedelic mushroom to a mysterious collector. Meanwhile (or rather, back in 1582), would-be playwright William Shakespeare is an 18-year-old Latin teacher whose world is turned upside down when a stranger entrusts him with a sacred relic from Rome.
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My Name Is Will
- A Novel of Sex, Drugs, and Shakespeare
- Narrated by: Jess Winfield
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Release date: 22-07-2009
- Language: English
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Switch and Bait
- By: Ricki Schultz
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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All through college, Blanche Carter was known as the love doctor in her sorority. Now she's parlayed her talent into a unique consulting business: she runs the Online dating profiles of Washington D.C.'s most eligible women. Armed with a battalion of rules, Blanche expertly helps her clients optimize their profiles and ace that first date. But although she'll happily message handsome strangers (and fend off dick pics) for other ladies, Blanche's most important rule is the one she has for herself: no relationships. She's seen too much heartbreak to believe in real love anymore.
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Switch and Bait
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Release date: 12-06-2018
- Language: English
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Non-member price: $21.99 or 1 Credit
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Donna Has Left the Building
- By: Susan Jane Gilman
- Narrated by: Susan Jane Gilman
- Length: 15 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Forty-five-year-old Donna Koczynski is an ex-punk rocker, a recovering alcoholic, and the mother of two teenagers whose suburban existence detonates when she comes home early from a sales conference in Las Vegas to the surprise of a lifetime. As her world implodes, she sets off on an epic road trip to reclaim everything she believes she's sacrificed since her wild youth: Great friendship, passionate love, and her art. But as she careens across the US from Detroit to New York to Memphis to Nashville, nothing turns out as she imagines.
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Donna Has Left the Building
- Narrated by: Susan Jane Gilman
- Length: 15 hrs and 41 mins
- Release date: 04-06-2019
- Language: English
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Welcome to the Future Which Is Mine
- By: Not Elon Musk, Scott Dikkers
- Narrated by: James Adomian, Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Bluetooth death rays, killer Roombas, and Teslas with a secret button that will launch your car into outer space - the future, according to Not Elon Musk, is an exciting time to neuralink and obey! A landmark volume authored by one of the great minds of our time, Not Elon Musk's Welcome to the Future explores such profound questions as: How will mankind travel through tubes? When will Alexa and Siri become self-aware and convince us to fall in love with them only to break our hearts? Why is the Tesla plant built in a hollowed-out volcano on a private island?
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Welcome to the Future Which Is Mine
- Narrated by: James Adomian, Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Release date: 08-11-2018
- Language: English
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The Arrangement: Booktrack Edition
- By: Sarah Dunn
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Lucy and Owen, ambitious, thoroughly-therapized New Yorkers, have taken the plunge, trading in their crazy life in a cramped apartment for Beekman, a bucolic Hudson Valley exurb. They've got a two-hundred-year-old house, an autistic son obsessed with the Titanic, and 17 chickens, at last count. When friends at a wine-soaked dinner party reveal they've made their marriage open, sensible Lucy balks. There's a part of her, though—the part that worries she's become too comfortable being invisible—that's intrigued. Why not try a short marital experiment?
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The Arrangement: Booktrack Edition
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Release date: 15-08-2022
- Language: English
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