Showing results for "free audiobooks" in Humorous

Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.

When it comes to action and adventure, every hero needs a good sidekick. Holmes has Watson, Batman has Robin, and Daniel has . . . Orrin. More like brothers than friends, they always have each other's backs. And as Daniel is the big, strong, handsome type, Orrin is more than happy to remain in his shadow at school, at parties, pretty much everywhere. Then things take a turn for the truly weird when a terrible accident catapults the pair into a world totally unlike their own, in which the rules of a role-playing game hold sway.

As far as rock star Gareth Kendrick, the last true bard in Faerie, is concerned, the only good Unseelie is...well...there’s no such thing. Two centuries ago, an Unseelie lord abducted Gareth’s human lover Niall, and Gareth has neither forgotten nor forgiven. Niall O’Tierney, half-human son of the Unseelie King, had never lost a wager until the day he swore to rid the Seelie court of its bard.

When Benjamin's latest conquest revealed herself to be from another world, he couldn't believe it. But her crazy revelations didn't stop there. She said that Benjamin was the reincarnation of the Forgotten Ruler, a supreme being with an empire that once spanned an entire continent. Now, he's traveling to that fantasy world with one goal in mind: rebuilding his empire, one monstrous offspring at a time. Move over Sauron, Benjamin Davies is the next dark lord of fantasy.

When I answered an ad for a caretaker at Saint Mark’s Sanctuary, I thought I’d be dusting chandeliers and polishing floors. I didn’t expect to be tricked into a curse, going into debt to a monster, and being forced to take a self-paced “let’s learn magic” course so I can fix a 2,000-year-old problem. And that monster? Not your ordinary, everyday beast. He has hooves, and horns, and fur on his legs. But you know where he doesn’t have fur? Yeah. There. Which is fine. Except he doesn’t wear pants.

I’m in love with my best friend; one of the last dragon shifters in the world. Yeah, life has just gotten way more complicated. For two years I’ve gone on one bad date after another, and for two years my best friend Roarke has stood by my side. I don’t want to date other guys. I want to date Roarke. But there are two problems with this.

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

It's official: Sylphy has Kousuke wrapped around her little finger! His beautiful dark elf mistress wants to liberate her kin, and Kousuke's ready to get the job done! Their first order of business is building a giant stone wall around the elven village to keep out any threats. After a hard day's work, Kousuke always finds himself in the arms of a lovely lady or three!

If there was a level zero of supernaturals, I’d be in the sub-basement level. I’m not particularly strong or fast or crazy smart, and my pixie magic is limited to little things that any basic human street magician can do. Which means that pack of coyote shifters that’s hunting me? Yeah, I’m gonna need help with them. I do the only sane thing I can do. I flee to Moonhaven Cove, and beg help from the local PNW council and the town’s sheriff. Which seemed like such a well thought-out plan . . . until the council lets Hux and his creepy pack of coyotes in.

Today is the day that I, Luciano Fjorborn, First Paladin of Berella, go out into Yurnip County to push back the forces of darkness with a few vigorous thrusts of my mighty lance! Who’s Berella? Why, she’s the goddess of love, tenderness, and hot rumpy-pumpy, of course! As her loyal servant, it is my mission to go out of my cloister and show the world Berella’s divine love. Repeatedly. And in multiple positions! But it’s a cruel world out there, especially for a Paladin who doesn’t believe in violence.

When Aesca Lampi wakes up in the form of her character from Eldest Fantasy Wars Online, she's annoyed by the historical inaccuracies. (Video-game-style scrolls? Really?) That is, until a building collapses on top of her, revealing she's on a fantastical island centered around the impossibly tall, glowing Tower of Aetherius . . . with an array of dangerous creatures—including jaguar hybrids, velociraptors, and giant, flesh-eating lizards—in the way. (Oh, joy.)

Fran and Teacher finally make it to Ulmutt, where they hear rumor of someone who might know how to unlock a Black Cat's evolution. The catch? She lives at the very bottom of a dangerous dungeon. Meanwhile, the city prepares for the arrival of the formidable Beast King--supreme leader of all the beastmen tribes. With so many key players converging in one place, can Fran find her answers without attracting the wrong kind of attention?

Much to Cale's chagrin, Prince Albert has tasked him with traversing a treacherous desert in search of the dark elves. Yet what he discovers in the ill-rumored crimson wasteland is unlike anything he's ever imagined! Later, after a brief respite for a festival back home, he treks onward to the Ten Finger Mountains. Among the peaks, another band of elves is locked in a fierce battle against an all-too-familiar foe. With Ancient Powers, masterful allies, and a mighty dragon on his side, there's no harm in Cale joining the fray—or is there?

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

Dear Diary: I was reincarnated as a catgirl NPC in a dungeon. There are loops. There are marble races. There are other catgirls. What else is there? (Ice cream.) Press play and see!!!

One moment Robin is imbibing an elixir of his own creation as he practices casting spells, and the next he’s lying naked in a cave about to embark on a mysterious quest. It seems the God Rhyth has vanished from the realm of Mayaser, and Robin—altered from human to shadeling—has been chosen to find out what happened to the deity and its worshippers.

The devil paid me a visit and said I was going to one day rule his demonic kingdom. The catch: I have to attend the Infernal Academy, located in none other than Hell itself. Thankfully, I won’t be doing it alone. I’m going to surround myself with powerful demonesses (and maybe an angel or two as well).

Contains books one and two of the Shattered Alliance series.