Showing results for "The" in Humorous

When Paige Turner inherits her mother Reed’s knack for attracting magical disasters, she also inherits her mother’s unfinished business—protecting a library of dangerous magical artifacts and keeping the world safe from things better left shelved.

Okay, I might be seriously under-qualified for the job of Enforcer, I'll admit. The Enforcer is supposed to be a human, for starters. It's usually an ex-special forces guy with big muscles and even bigger balls, and a knack for sorting out petty squabbles between the witches and vampires and shifters in the city. And I'm just a technically dead nail tech—an animated skeleton with a talent for illusion magic and gold gel manicures. But I've recently discovered that I can manifest some pretty big muscles of my own. I've already got the big balls, so I'm halfway there.

In Chandrar, the King of Destruction's war with the faltering kingdom of Jecrass has reached a turning point, and a terrible climactic battle awaits. But the knife that cuts through every plot is simply honor. In the north, Ryoka and Fierre are riding the high of their amazing delivery to the Archmage of Izril, but their challenges won't end with one run. They're approaching the realm of Couriers; that means the stakes have never been higher. Monsters below and plots hatched from all sides, from the Circle of Thorns to the dungeon of Liscor, but the greatest story is perhaps one of mercy.

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

Belissar has always lived a peaceful life, if not a particularly easy one. Though he lost his parents, he was taken in by a kindly villager who taught him his life's calling: beekeeping. But one day the local lord's ruthless son, Ruckanos, comes to their humble village to claim his own tower, slaughtering everyone. Luckily for Belissar, as he lies dying with an arrow in his back, a tiny worker bee decides to interfere, and he wakes up not only alive but a whole new bee-ing.

Ever dreamt of waking up inside a novel? For Kim Roksu, this dream becomes reality when he finds himself in the shoes of Cale Henituse, the lazy, wine-loving son of a count--and punching bag for the novel's destined hero. Determined to dodge his grim fate, this new Cale Henituse vows to rewrite his story, aiming for a life of leisure far from heroic deeds and inevitable beatdowns.

I’m a pixie. If there was a level zero of supernaturals, I’d be on the sub-basement level. I’m not super-strong or fast or crazy-smart, and the little bit of pixie magic I do have is limited to the most basic things that any human street magician can do. So when a pack of coyote shifters and their Alpha start hunting me and threatening the only remaining family I have left, I realize I’m going to need some paranormal help to fight them off. I do the only sane thing I can think to do. I flee to Moonhaven Cove and beg help from the local PNW council and the town’s sheriff.

This is not a fish out of water, enemies to lovers romantasy. This is me—a barely functional adult—attempting to live my best life, which consists solely of reading books, eating cheese, and falling asleep on the couch. It does not include making friends with werewolf chihuahuas, meeting a moth faerie prince, or defeating a boogeyman.

After humanity's deep space probe Squanto goes missing in the Gauntlet, Staff Sergeant Martin Kelvin and Sergeant Frank Cage are pulled from leave to search for the vessel. Three teams have already vanished in the quantum corridor where time fractures and physics breaks down. But Squanto didn't just find a path through; they found something waiting in the darkness.

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

I'm a witch. Not a powerful witch, mind, but as Grandma liked to say, it's all in the kindness, not the power. Grandma is gone now, but her dream of having a witch shop lives with me. So, when the opportunity to run my own shop presents itself, I move across the country to take it, no questions asked.

When I answered an ad for a caretaker at Saint Mark’s Sanctuary, I thought I’d be dusting chandeliers and polishing floors. I didn’t expect to be tricked into a curse, going into debt to a monster, and being forced to take a self-paced “let’s learn magic” course so I can fix a 2,000-year-old problem. And that monster? Not your ordinary, everyday beast. He has hooves, and horns, and fur on his legs. But you know where he doesn’t have fur? Yeah. There. Which is fine. Except he doesn’t wear pants.

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

Dave Deranger, a middle-aged plumber, was the 1990 Nintendo Champion and an Olympic silver medalist in boxing. Since then, his greatest challenge has been trying to quit smoking and plunging toilets. That all changes when an immature deity named Tyme abducts him to be her champion in a "intergalactic scavenger hunt." The prize? His world is spared. The penalty for losing? Earth gets vaporized by a massive laser pointer from space.

After Luciana has a brush with danger, Melody decides she can no longer leave her lady's safety to chance. But in order to stay by Luciana's side, Melody will have to take on her most daring maidly mission yet: enrolling as a student at Royal Academy! She dons the guise of the lovely Cecelia and passes the entrance exam with flying colors, earning herself a place at the academy. But it quickly becomes apparent that being a maid, student, and bodyguard all at once is just too much for one maid to take on—even for Melody! How will this mad maid manage to do it all without blowing her cover?

A classic series for a new generation of fantasy adventure fans, Thieves' World® paved the way for the shared-world anthology tradition with epic worldbuilding, unforgettable characters, and nonstop action thanks to the legendary authors who contribute to it.

I'm the new owner of a magical mansion. This mansion, well, it's not your typical building. It's a dungeon from another world, masquerading as just another private residence in the suburbs. It has enchanted rooms, can craft powerful items, build lethal traps, and produce incredible monsters. And it's my mission to protect and evolve its monstrous inhabitants.