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00:00:00 Hello listeners

00:02:30 Beyond Radical Acceptance: Amor Fati

00:07:36 Tip 1: Define the event as objectively as possible

00:08:37 Tip 2: Have a mantra

00:09:36 Tip 3: Focus on action, focus on solutions

00:11:18 Negative Visualization

00:18:24 Stoicism and CBT Combined—the “What-If” Technique

00:30:08 Be Honest with Yourself

00:36:39 Keep It Simple with the Two-Column Exercise

• The ancient Stoics were masters of living in the present.

• One way of rethinking your relationship to the past is to adopt the Stoic attitude of amor fati. This translates roughly to “love of one’s fate.” Whatever happens is embraced, wanting “nothing to be different.” To practice it, look at events as neutrally as possible and then respond to them with a simple mantra like “good.” By focusing on action and solutions, we are able to transform adversity.

• Negative visualization is where we occasionally spend a short amount of time imagining in detail the negative things that could happen in life. This renews appreciation and gratitude for what matters, allows us to prepare for the future, and creates psychological resilience.

• With the “what-if” technique, we write down a fear and ask, “What if this were true?” and explore the worst that could happen, showing ourselves that it is tolerable and not so bad after all. Likewise, remember Memento mori, Latin for, “remember that you will die” to help remind you of what matters.

• Problem-focused thinking zooms in on what’s wrong. Solution-focused thinking zooms in on what could be right and looks to taking action to change the situation. Thinking needs to be balanced with action. Focus on the problem needs to be balanced with focus on the solution.

• Remember the Serenity Prayer and try the two-column exercise to help you identify what you can change and what you can’t. Accept what you can’t, act where you can.

• Ask what you want and value, then ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing, thinking, or feeling bringing me closer to that?”