Feeling stuck when your life looks fine on paper? That low hum of anxiety, that sense something's off - it's often a sign your values are out of alignment with the life you're living. This episode explores what I call being a "Quiet Misfit" and offers a simple mental fitness tool called the Honest Naming to help you stop judging yourself and start building self-love and self-worth from the inside out.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why feeling stuck isn't a character flaw - it's information from your deeper self
• What it means to be a Quiet Misfit and why recognizing it changes everything
• The difference between a motivation problem and a values misalignment
• How to use the Honest Naming tool to give your stuckness a voice without rushing to fix it
• Why the first step toward change isn't action - it's honesty

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap - https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

Feeling overwhelmed by all the New Year pressure? Drowning in goals, resolutions, and "new year, best you" messaging? What if you only needed two things to guide your entire year?

January is loud. Everyone's telling you to set goals, build habits, transform your life. And maybe you want that. Or maybe you're exhausted just thinking about it.

This episode isn't about replacing your goals or resolutions - it's about giving you something foundational. Something that sits underneath everything else and makes it all more meaningful and sustainable. Whether you're energized for 2026 or honestly just trying to get through January, this framework will serve you.

Introducing: Your Flame and Your Fragrance.

This framework was inspired by a reel I came across from Dr. Zina Jacques, a pastor whose words on "spiritual scent" stopped me mid-scroll. It was shared by Viola Davis, and it sparked something that connected to my own practice of choosing a guiding word each year.

Your Flame is your internal guiding light - the word or quality you tend within yourself all year. Your Fragrance is what you leave with others - the feeling that lingers when you've left the room.

And here's the beautiful part: your Flame creates your Fragrance.

You're not alone if...

• You're overwhelmed by New Year pressure and expectations
• You don't know what you want for 2026 yet
• You're tired of setting goals that don't stick
• You want something deeper than resolutions
• You're wondering how to show up better for yourself AND others
• You need permission to still be figuring it out
• You want to start the year with intention, not pressure

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 - Welcome to 2026
01:44 - What this episode offers (it's foundational)
03:06 - Share this with someone who needs it
03:35 - The inspiration: Dr. Zina Jacques on spiritual scent
06:32 - Introducing Your Flame and Your Fragrance
07:06 - What is your Flame?
08:26 - What is your Fragrance?
09:26 - Your Flame creates your Fragrance
10:21 - Questions to discover yours
14:15 - My Flame for 2026: Becoming
15:58 - My Fragrance for 2026: Seen
17:59 - Your invitation for 2026
19:26 - Thank you for 2025
20:22 - Closing

💛 Share this episode with someone who needs a more intentional start to 2026.

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

Do you struggle to love yourself? Do you know you're supposed to practice "self-love" but have no idea what that actually means? Do you feel like no matter what you achieve, it's never quite enough?

Here's what nobody's telling you: Loving yourself might be the quietest thing you ever do. And also the most powerful.

2025 has been hard. For so many of us. Some of us lost people we love. Some of us lost jobs, security, or the version of our lives we thought we were building. And even if your year had beautiful moments, there's something about carrying the weight of everything happening around us that settles into our bones.

This episode is different. It's short. It's a gift. It features a poem by nayyirah waheed that stopped me in my tracks - and 3 simple words that might just start your quietest revolution.

This is permission to start with yourself.

🌱 What You'll Discover

• Why self-love isn't selfish - it's foundational
• How to hold space for a hard year AND remember moments of joy
• A poem by nayyirah waheed on the quietest, most powerful revolution
• The 3 words that change everything: "I love myself"
• Why loving yourself is the foundation for truly loving others
• Permission to be exactly where you are today

💬 Powerful Quotes

"I love myself. The quietest, simplest, most powerful revolution ever."

"Joy and pain can coexist. And we need to remind ourselves of that."

"What if the most powerful revolution is the one no one else can see?"

"When we learn to love ourselves, we become capable of truly loving others. Not performing love. Not earning love. Real love."

"Your worth is not up for debate. It never was."

"Loving yourself - really, deeply loving yourself - might be the quietest thing you ever do. And it might also be the most powerful."

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 - Welcome (wherever you are today)
01:04 - Acknowledging the hard year
02:33 - Remembering moments of joy
04:07 - A poem by nayyirah waheed
05:48 - The 3 words: I love myself
06:28 - What if revolution is quiet?
08:05 - Start with yourself
08:41 - You are enough
09:40 - Closing: may you feel held

You’re not alone if…:

• You've had a hard year and need permission to acknowledge it
• You struggle with feeling "not enough"
• You want to learn how to love yourself but don't know where to start
• You need a moment of stillness in the chaos
• You're alone today and need to feel held
• You're surrounded by people but feel disconnected
• You're ready to start the quietest revolution of your life

💛 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they are enough.

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

Running on fumes in December? Feeling like you should be "finishing strong" but you're barely making it through each day? Sluggish, foggy, ready to hibernate - while the world tells you to push through and whatever you do, don't lose momentum now?

Here's what nobody's telling you: You're not failing. Your body is doing exactly what it's designed to do.

Winter isn't just weather - it's biology. Your brain produces more melatonin when days get shorter. Your serotonin drops. You're literally designed to slow down right now. But hustle culture - and the "New Year, New You" pressure already building - tells you that rest is weakness.

This episode reveals the neuroscience behind December exhaustion, why fighting your biology makes everything harder, and gives you one simple evening practice that changes everything. No overwhelm. No adding to your plate. Just one question before bed.

This is permission to pause.

🌱 What You'll Discover

• The real reason you're exhausted (hint: it's not personal failure)
• What December actually does to your brain - the science behind winter fatigue
• Why the "finish strong" narrative works against your biology
• The "Enough for Today" Practice: one evening question that shifts everything
• Permission to rest without guilt (yes, really)

💬 Powerful Quotes

"What if the exhaustion you're feeling isn't a personal failing - it's your biology trying to tell you something important?"

"What if this tiredness isn't something wrong with you? What if it's something very right - your body doing exactly what it's designed to do?"

"What if the most rebellious thing you could do right now is rest?"

"We are not machines. We are not designed to operate at constant, relentless capacity."

"The space between isn't empty. It's essential."

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 - Why you're exhausted in December (it's not what you think)
03:05 - The science: what winter does to your brain
07:32 - Permission to let December be December
09:24 - The "Enough for Today" Practice
11:43 - You're allowed to pause

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

Have you spent your whole life trying to fit in? Are you the square peg in a round hole - exhausted from trying to smooth your edges, straighten your lines, and be more like everyone else? Do you feel like your difference is a flaw you need to fix?

What if it's not? What if the parts of you that don't fit are actually your greatest gifts?

This episode explores the "wiggly line philosophy" created by musician Jacob Collier: the radical idea that we weren't born to be straight lines. We were born to wiggle. Yet somewhere along the way, most of us learned to straighten ourselves out - to fit in, to be acceptable, to stop being "too much" or "too different."

Through neuroscience, personal stories (including my own crayon-coloring confession), and the power of celebrating difference over conformity, this conversation reveals why your wiggle isn't a flaw - it's freedom. And how giving yourself permission to be different might be the most powerful act of self-love you can practice this holiday season.

🌱 What You'll Discover

• Jacob Collier's wiggly line philosophy and why it matters for your mental fitness
• The literal ways we learn to "straighten" ourselves (and the cost of doing so)
• Heart rate variability (HRV) and why our bodies are designed for wiggle, not rigidity
• The crucial distinction between wiggly lines (freedom) and wobbly foundations (chaos)
• Why trying to fit in during the holidays amplifies the pressure to conform
• The Wiggle Check-In: a Tiny Tool to reclaim your authenticity in real-time
• How difference creates connection, not division - when you show up fully as yourself

💬 Powerful Quotes

"We weren't born to be straight lines. We were born to wiggle."

"When we can't wiggle 'correctly,' we often stop wiggling at all. We go silent. We withdraw. We make ourselves smaller."

"Your wiggle isn't a flaw. It's how you were designed."

"At a biological level, we're meant to wiggle. High heart rate variability - high wiggle - is a sign of health."

"The world needs wiggly lines. They're what create connection, real connection - because when you show up authentically, you give other people permission to do the same."

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 - When your crayons refuse to stay inside the lines
04:12 - Jacob Collier's wiggly line philosophy
07:33 - How we learn to straighten ourselves (and why we stop)
10:58 - The collective experience: we all do this
13:27 - Holiday pressure to perform "perfect"
15:49 - The neuroscience of wiggle (HRV and resilience)
18:22 - Wiggly lines vs. wobbly foundations
20:15 - The cost of straightening: what we lose
22:40 - The Wiggle Check-In (your tiny tool)
25:11 - Permission to wiggle: the invitation

This episode is for you if:

• You've always felt like you don't quite fit in
• You're exhausted from trying to be like everyone else
• You're navigating holiday expectations that don't align with who you are
• You want permission to celebrate your difference instead of hiding it
• You need the neuroscience behind why authenticity matters
• You're ready to stop apologizing for your beautiful weirdness

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

Most gift guides tell you what to buy. This one invites you to rethink what it truly means to give.

As the holiday season ramps up, many of us feel the pressure to spend more, do more, and prove our love through price tags. But the gifts that create the deepest connection - the ones we remember years later - rarely cost anything financially. They cost something far more meaningful: our presence, our attention, our time, and our willingness to show up for the people we love.

In this episode, I share four powerful gifts that cost zero dollars yet have the potential to transform your relationships and your emotional wellbeing. Grounded in neuroscience and heartfelt lived experience, these gifts reveal how small, intentional acts can change someone’s biology, strengthen connection, and invite more joy into your life.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by gifting this season - or craving a more meaningful way to show love without financial pressure - this conversation is for you.

🌱 What You’ll Learn

• Why traditional gift-giving can create pressure, comparison, and emotional distance
• The four gifts that cost nothing but change everything:
- Full Undivided Attention and the oxytocin-based science behind presence
- The Gift of Remembering and why being “held in someone’s mind” strengthens attachment
- Your Presence in Hard Moments and how social buffering reduces stress and supports regulation
- The Gift of Fun and how joy creates physiological coherence and emotional resilience
• Why so many of us struggle to receive support, love, and presence
• How these gifts impact the nervous system, connection, belonging, and wellbeing
• Small, practical ways to bring these gifts into your relationships today
• How to give these same gifts to yourself - especially during emotionally intense seasons

💬 Powerful Quotes

“Some gifts don’t come wrapped in paper. They come wrapped in presence, attention, and genuine care.”

“When you sit with someone in their hard moment, you are changing their stress physiology. That is not small.”

“Being remembered is a form of love. It tells us we matter, even when we’re not in the room.”

“Joy isn’t frivolous. It changes our biology and strengthens our capacity to connect.”

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 – When was the last time someone gave you full attention?
02:01 – A different kind of gift guide (beyond expensive lists)
03:37 – The escalation trap of gifting and love-as-price-tag
05:42 – Gift #1: Full Undivided Attention (presence and oxytocin)
08:23 – Gift #2: The Gift of Remembering (being held in someone’s mind)
10:13 – Gift #3: Presence in Hard Moments (social buffering & stress)
13:55 – Gift #4: The Gift of Fun (joy, coherence, and play)
17:10 – Why we struggle to receive these gifts
19:07 – Giving these gifts to yourself
19:48 – Recap: four gifts that change us (and cost nothing)

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TEACH US MENTAL FITNESS BASICS? You know how to exercise your body. You know consistency builds strength. So why doesn't anyone teach us the same fundamentals for your mind?

Most of us were never taught Mental Fitness 101. We overcomplicate it. We wait for the perfect method. But Mental Fitness works exactly like physical fitness - you just need to know what to do. Every. Single. Day.

This back-to-basics episode gives you 3 micro tools you can use right now, plus the daily foundations that make them stick. No theory. No complexity. Just what actually works.

What you'll discover:

• Why Mental Fitness works exactly like physical fitness (and why that changes everything)
• The 3 micro tools: The Friend Test, The Choice Pause, The Humanity Reminder
• Daily foundations: consistency, nature, mindful hydration, mirror practice
• Why celebrating small wins matters as much as celebrating crisis recovery
• How maintenance is lifelong - not because you're broken, but because you're alive
• Why acceptance (not perfection) is what creates lasting change

Powerful Quotes:

"Mental Fitness works exactly like physical fitness. Different tools build different capacities. Some days you're mentally stronger than others. And maintenance is lifelong - not because you're broken, but because you're alive."

"When you think of it as fitness instead of fixing, everything changes. You're not trying to repair something wrong with you. You're building strength."

"Don't only celebrate when you emerge from crisis. Celebrate when you practice consistently and feel the difference. Those moments matter."

"The bridge between struggling and thriving isn't perfection. It's practice. Daily, imperfect, messy, beautifully human practice."

⏱ Timestamps:
00:00 - You already know how to do this
02:23 - The physical fitness parallel that changes everything
05:15 - The 3 micro tools you can use today
12:42 - Daily foundations that make it stick
17:48 - Why we need to celebrate Mental Fitness wins
20:36 - The maintenance reality: it's ongoing, not a destination
22:18 - You're exactly where you need to be

This episode is for you if:

• You're feeling lost and don't know where to start with Mental Fitness
• You've been overcomplicating mental health and need to get back to basics
• You're navigating holiday stress and family intensity
• You want simple, practical tools that actually work
• You need permission to start small and celebrate the tiny wins
• You're ready to stop overthinking and start practicing

Share this with someone who's overwhelmed and doesn't know where to begin. What's one micro tool you're going to try today?

Download The LOVE Framework free at https://www.luluessey.com/freetool - designed to work alongside these daily practices.

Remember: Mental Fitness is maintenance, not magic. And you're worth showing up for. Every. Single. Day.💛

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨

FEELING GUILTY FOR JUST SURVIVING? This episode reveals why coping mode isn't failing, the critical difference between coping and healing, and why accepting where you are is what actually creates change.

If you're beating yourself up for not healing fast enough or wondering why you can't just get over this already, I need you to hear this: Coping mode is not a failure. It's not something you need to rush out of. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is accept exactly where we are right now - without making it wrong.

This honest conversation explores how to know which mode you're in, how to support yourself in different seasons without shame, and why resistance keeps us stuck while acceptance creates transformation.

What you'll discover:

- Why coping mode is information, not failure, and how our culture makes us shame survival

- The critical difference between coping (getting through) and healing (transforming)

- How to know which mode you're in right now with honest self-assessment questions

- Why fighting where you are costs you emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually

- The real cost of adding shame on top of survival

- How to support yourself in coping mode without judgment

- When you're ready for healing mode - and why you can't force that readiness

- Why acceptance (not force) is the bridge between coping and healing

- How resistance keeps you stuck and surrender creates space for change

Powerful Quotes:

"Coping is about survival. It's about getting through. And there is nothing wrong with that."

"The problem isn't coping. The problem is when we shame ourselves for being in coping mode."

"When we resist where we are, we stay stuck. When we accept where we are, we create the possibility for movement."

"The bridge between coping and healing is built on acceptance, not force."

"You can't force the transition from coping to healing. You can only create the conditions for it by accepting where you are right now."

Timestamps:

00:00 If you're feeling guilty for just surviving

01:40 What coping and healing actually mean

04:22 How to know which mode you're in

06:47 What happens when we fight coping mode

10:10 How to support yourself in different modes

14:06 The bridge between coping and healing: acceptance

16:14 You're exactly where you need to be

This episode is for you if:

- You're beating yourself up for not healing faster

- You feel guilty for just trying to survive instead of thrive

- You're in coping mode and making it wrong

- You want to understand the difference between survival and transformation

- You're ready to stop fighting yourself and start accepting where you are

Join the conversation:

Share this with someone who's struggling to accept the season they're in. Which mode are you in right now -coping or healing? Follow the show on Apple or Spotify and leave a rating so more people can find permission to be exactly where they are.

Remember: Wherever you are today -coping, healing, or somewhere in between: you're exactly where you need to be.

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

Subscribe on YouTube for more content.

Let's Connect:
https://www.luluessey.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luluessey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap – https://www.luluessey.com/freetool

Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨