What happens when the most important conversation of your life happens in the middle of a mental health relapse? In Part 1 of this powerful three-part series, I share an unfiltered conversation on trauma, healing, and resilience that might change the way you see your own story.

During my mental health relapse back in April, I sat down with Hawa Who from KeepCalm.org for a conversation that became the start of a powerful series on trauma, healing, and emotional resilience. My words weren’t as fluid, my eyes didn’t shine as brightly and I showed up anyway. What unfolded was real, raw, and deeply human.

It’s the very first time I’ve included another voice on The Lulu Essey Podcast and I couldn’t imagine a better person to share this moment with than Hawa. In Part 1, her thoughtful questions open the door to an honest conversation about the nature of trauma, how it impacts the body, and what the first steps toward healing can look like.

In Part 1, we explore:

• What trauma really is (and what it’s not)
• Why it’s less about the event & more about the impact on your nervous system
• How trauma lives in the body and how your body tells the truth, even when your mind wants to move on
• The role of safe relationships in the healing process
• Why you don’t need to “be ready” to begin healing

This is not a neat, polished conversation. It’s an honest one. Whether you’ve experienced “big T” trauma, ongoing stress, or life events that have left an imprint you can’t quite shake, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate space to explore what healing can look like.

If you’ve ever felt “broken” or wondered whether healing is even possible for you, my hope is that this conversation reminds you: you are not broken, and you are not alone. Healing is rarely linear, and sometimes the most powerful steps happen when we feel least prepared.

Share this episode. Invite people into the conversation, & into the possibility of a gentler, more resilient way forward.

Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction to Trauma & Healing
02:53 – Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
03:21 – Resilience and Emotional Fitness
03:51 – Conversation with Hawa Who — the myths, truths, and lived realities of trauma
20:51 – Closing reflections & Part 2 preview

Resources & Links

📍 KeepCalm.org — a nonprofit mental health organization providing education, community support, and practical tools to help people navigate stress, anxiety, & other challenges.
🔗 keepcalm.org

📍 Hawa Who — creative, model, author, poet, and woman in tech; Cybersecurity Analyst at the Pittsburgh Supercomputing Center under Carnegie Mellon University.
🔗 hawawho.com

#TraumaHealing #EmotionalResilience #MentalFitness #SelfLeadership #NervousSystemHealing #LuluEsseyPodcast #KeepCalm

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Ever left a conversation feeling completely drained, like you’re carrying someone else’s sadness, stress, or anxiety, and you don’t know how it happened? If you're the one people lean on but your nervous system feels like it's always on high alert, this episode is your reset.

In this final part of our powerful Mental Fitness series, Lulu explores the art of emotional boundaries. You’ll learn why some of us absorb others’ feelings without realizing it, and how to stay deeply empathetic without losing yourself.

Backed by the research of Dr. Elaine Hatfield (emotional contagion) and Dr. Elaine Aron (Highly Sensitive Persons), you’ll hear how mirror neurons, sensitivity wiring, and nervous system regulation all play a role, and more importantly, how to protect your energy with clarity, kindness, and conscious boundaries.

🎧 Press play to stop absorbing what isn’t your and start protecting your energy with love.

🧠 What You’ll Learn

✨What emotional absorption is and how it hijacks your nervous system

✨Why emotional contagion (absorbing others’ emotions involuntarily) affects you within milliseconds, due to how our mirror neurons respond to others’ emotions

✨What it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and how 20% of people are wired this way

✨ Why emotional absorption isn't weakness: it's neurological wiring you can work with

🛡️ Why Boundaries = Love

💛Emotional absorption creates anxious presence, not genuine support
💛Clear energy separation allows authentic connection
💛Sustainable empathy requires conscious choice over automatic absorption
💛Protecting your energy enhances relationships, doesn't damage them

🛠 2 Tiny Tools for Big Impact

1. Emotional Ownership Check-In
   A guided visualization to help you distinguish your feelings from someone else’s.
2. Conscious Boundary Setting
   A boundary-setting framework that includes Kindness Shield Phrases and energetic reset practices to protect your emotional space while staying open-hearted.

💡 Powerful Quotes

“The most loving thing you can do isn’t absorbing everyone’s emotions—it’s learning to stay present without losing yourself.”
“Whose emotions are you actually feeling right now?”
“The goal isn’t to feel less—it’s to feel more clearly and choose more consciously.”

⏱ Timestamps
00:00 — Welcome + Mental Fitness series recap
04:22 — The science of emotional absorption & emotional contagion
08:17 — Personal story: "emotional sponge era"
11:39 — Tool #1: Emotional Ownership Check-In
15:00 — Tool #2: Conscious Boundary Setting
17:34 — Integration + series wrap-up

#EmotionalBoundaries #MentalFitness #HighlySensitivePerson #EmpathTools #EmotionalContagion #NervousSystemSupport #ConsciousLiving #SustainableLove

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Ever felt like Confidence and Joy were things you had to earn—by achieving more, pleasing everyone, or performing perfectly? In this episode, I share the science that flips that myth on its head. You’ll learn why real Confidence and genuine Joy aren’t achievements—they’re natural states you access when you stop pretending and start being authentically yourself.

Backed by the neuroscience of Dr. Amy Cuddy (embodied Confidence), Dr. Brené Brown (shame resilience), and Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (positive emotions), we explore how your brain’s reward pathways create an upward spiral of Joy and Confidence when you act in alignment with your values.

🎧 Press play to activate the Confidence–Joy Feedback Loop and stop performing your way through life.

🔥 The Science Behind Confidence and Joy

✨Joy lights up your prefrontal cortex, enhancing creativity and decision-making
✨ Authenticity triggers dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—your brain’s Confidence chemicals
✨ Pretend Confidence (Yellow Zone) depletes energy; real Confidence (Green Zone) restores it
✨ Joy broadens perspective and enables confident choices

🔁 How the Confidence–Joy Loop Works

→ Acting authentically builds real Confidence
→ Confidence creates space for Joy
→ Joy reinforces self-trust—creating an upward spiral

💡 Key Quotes

“Confidence and Joy aren't achievements you earn—they’re natural states you access when you stop pretending and start being authentic.”
“Confidence is your nervous system saying: I can handle whatever comes. Pretend Confidence is trying to convince everyone you’re okay when you’re actually anxious.”

🛠 2 Tools to Activate the Confidence–Joy Feedback Loop

Tool #1: The Joy–Confidence Reflection Practice: A daily practice that helps you track authentic actions and how they affect your Confidence and Joy levels.
Tool #2: The Authenticity Compass: A nervous-system-based decision-making Tool that helps you choose aligned actions based on your Green Zone, not pretending or people-pleasing.

🎁 This Week’s Practice:
Choose one small act of authenticity each day. Track how it affects both your Confidence and your Joy. Share what you discover—I’d love to hear.

⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 — Welcome + Confidence–Joy connection
00:54 — Authenticity vs. honesty distinction
03:22 — The neuroscience behind the feedback loop
05:42 — Authentic vs. pretend Confidence
08:33 — Personal story: pretending vs. being real
11:24 — 2 practical Tools to activate the loop
16:37 — Why you don’t have to choose between Joy & Confidence

#AuthenticConfidence #JoyLoop #Neuroscience #MentalFitness #SelfWorth #AuthenticityTools #NervousSystem

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!