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Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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Many of us play games with others thinking it helps us keep peace. But those games don’t heal the wounds, especially the deep ones from our mothers. Healing means something real: reclaiming your authority and being loyal to yourself above all else.

It means setting firm boundaries so no one can disrespect you or “play in your face.” Real safety starts inside, where your own care and approval come first. If you don’t protect yourself, no one else will. Loyalty to yourself can’t be only when it’s easy; it has to be unconditional.

Too many let others disrespect them just to avoid conflict, but that peace comes at a cost: your happiness and dignity. Let others be upset if they want. You have to be your own protector.

Healing your mother wound is a lifestyle of self-loyalty. It brings peace, freedom, and joy. So stop letting people play games with you. Stand up, set boundaries, and protect your peace. You deserve that. You owe that to yourself.

In this episode, I want to share with you what healing really looks like when it starts with being loyal to yourself. We’ll talk about setting strong boundaries, recognizing when you’re betraying yourself, and how to stop letting others play in your face. I’ll also share why healing your mother wound is a lifestyle and why loyalty to yourself is the foundation for real peace and ease in your life. If you’ve been playing nice at the expense of your own well-being, this episode will help you reclaim your power, one bold choice at a time.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:20) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:34) Living with ease is a mindset

(00:04:30) Real ease comes from loyalty to self

(00:06:27) Approval isn’t safety

(00:10:06) Be willing to be alone

(00:11:26) How about YOU showing up for yourself first?

(00:13:13) Where do I betray myself?

(00:15:27) Healing is a lifestyle

(00:16:39) You are a resource

(00:19:04) Stop tolerating relationships that make you unsafe

(00:21:01) Prostitution is a self-betrayal

(00:22:56) Protect yourself without apology.

(00:24:00) Ruffle all the feathers

Key Takeaways:

"Safety really starts with the relationship you have with yourself."

"You will betray and abandon yourself in a heartbeat for someone else, for something else, and that is because you have no sense of loyalty to yourself."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2. Work with me one-on-one

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Many of us grew up feeling unwanted, like our very being was too much, like our presence took up space that no one wanted to give. Sometimes, it began at home. Sometimes, it was the way our mother looked at us, spoke to us, or ignored us. And slowly, that feeling settled in. A quiet, heavy shame that followed us everywhere.

But a feeling is not a fact.

Carrying the belief that you're a burden makes life heavier. It pushes you away from connection, even when your heart aches for it. That’s why healing begins with truth. You were never too much. You were never the problem. You were a child in need of care, safety, and love. And that love begins with you.

You are not a burden. You are worthy of love, of rest, of joy, and of being known and welcomed. It is never too late to believe that.

In this episode, we talk about feeling like a burden and how it hurts our self-worth. Healing starts when we comfort the little child inside us who felt alone and unwanted. You’ll learn how to love yourself more and find places where you truly belong. Tune in to discover simple steps to feel safe, grow, and shine as your true self.

"Feeling like a burden is a burden. It is a weight that you carry and it makes it impossible for you to show up as your true self."– Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:11) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:03:06) Acknowledge your lived experience

(00:06:09) The shame of being a burden runs deep

(00:08:00) To my little inner girl: You matter

(00:10:05) Hyper-independence is rooted in fear of not belonging

(00:12:05) How to reset your mindset

(00:14:10) Let yourself be seen, even in small ways

(00:16:23) Nobody can abandon me

(00:18:03) Stop over-performing to earn love

(00:20:33) Your only job is to take care of yourself

(00:22:04) Reparent your inner child

(00:25:17) Not an entitlement, but a healthy self-esteem

(00:26:40) Show up for your inner child consistently

(00:27:07) You deserve all good things

Key Takeaways:

"Your only job is to take care of yourself. It is to go in and lick your wounds and soothe yourself and find the comfort that you deserve."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

💬 Episode Summary

Hey sis. This week’s episode is a heart-to-heart. I’m showing up a little late (your girl’s flying solo on production), and I’m letting you know we’re taking a June break from full episodes.

But this episode is the one if you’ve ever felt like you needed permission to enjoy your life. I talk about healing through joy, how play is part of reparenting, and how that self-doubt you feel isn’t truth—it’s programming.

If you've been stuck in “who am I to…?” energy, this one’s your reminder that you don’t need permission. Just go.

⏱️ Time-Stamped Chapters

[01:55] Late But Here
Why this episode dropped late and how juggling travel, RESOLVE, and podcasting is a lot—but I’m still showing up.

[02:21] June Break Ahead
Announcing the June hiatus and encouraging you to catch up on past episodes during this time.

[02:50] Go Back and Listen Again
The wisdom hits different the second time—revisit older episodes and notice what new truths show up.

[03:19] Mulch & Memorial Day
A quick life update: mulch delivery, gardening joy, and stepping into something new just for me.

[04:09] This Week’s Topic: Permission
This episode centers around giving yourself permission to do something new—something joyful and healing.

[06:36] Recognizing Internalized Voices
I name the internal voice of doubt and realize—it’s my mother’s. That programming still lingers, even during joy.

[08:21] Joy Is Part of Healing
Expression and play are not extra—they're medicine. Depression lifts when we start to express and explore joy.

[10:49] Creating New Data
Healing means gathering evidence through experience—doing things that build trust in yourself, even when it’s scary.

[12:46] Redefining Without Permission
When no one gave you the authority to be you, you’ve got to crown yourself. That’s where the grief and power collide.

[14:13] From Doubt to Knowing
The inner “I don’t know anything” voice is a lie. And we prove it wrong by doing the damn thing—again and again.

[15:36] The Grief of Becoming
Becoming yourself brings grief too—letting go of old identities that were never really yours to begin with.

[16:55] What You Never Got
Doing joyful things can feel humiliating when you’ve never had someone affirm your desires. That’s real—and it hurts.

[17:53] Feel It to Heal It
All those feelings you avoid? They surface through new experiences. That’s how healing works. It’s not optional.

[18:41] You’re Not Out of Place
Imposter syndrome isn’t about the room—it’s about old wounds. You’re not out of place. You’re just stretching.

[20:02] Community Normalizes Your Joy
Find your people. Whether it's gardening or anything else, being around folks who reflect your joy back to you matters.

[21:29] Collect Evidence That You’re Enough
Every new, joyful thing you try is proof that you’re not who they said you were. That’s how we break the cycle.

[21:59] You’re Not Alone
This healing journey can feel lonely. But I promise—you are not alone. This podcast is proof.

[22:58] Do It Just for You
Try something that feels good for you—even if it’s “frivolous.” Capitalism li

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