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Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist

2. Grab my free mini-course

3. Work with me one-on-one

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Mother's Day can feel like a minefield when your relationship with your mother has been painful or distant. Society tells us to celebrate with flowers and praise, but what if that’s not your truth? You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to perform. You are allowed to be honest about how you feel.

Instead of being swept up in the pressure and performance, start focusing on what’s real for you. This week, pay attention to what lifts you. Celebrate the people and the progress that remind you you’re loved, seen, and growing. Let your joy come from within, not from forced expectations.

And if sadness shows up—let it. Feel it. Care for yourself with compassion, not shame. Healing doesn’t mean you never hurt. It means you know how to care for yourself when you do.

This Mother’s Day, center yourself. You get to define what this day means to you now. And that, in itself, is powerful.

In this episode, we talk about how to care for yourself before and during Mother’s Day, especially if your relationship with your mom is painful or complicated. I share why it’s important to be honest about how I really feel, stop telling fake stories, and stay grounded in my truth. Instead of forcing happiness or pretending everything’s okay, I offer real ways to comfort yourself, feel your feelings, and find joy in your own life. This is a gentle, honest conversation to help you stay grounded during a tough time.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:12) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:04:24) Be honest about how you feel

(00:05:59) Society can confuse your real feelings

(00:07:35) Mine for good feelings

(00:09:28) You create your feelings

(00:20:31) The fantasy is your underdeveloped ego

(00:22:54) Your responsibility is to you

(00:23:42) Resolve doors are open

(00:24:50) Fireside Chat Question

Key Takeaways:

“Healing really is about taking back control of your own mind.”

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist: www.ResolveHealingIntensive.com

2. Grab my free mini-course: www.BlackMotherWoundHealing.com

3. Work with me one-on-one: https://bit.ly/bmwresolve

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True power comes from knowing your worth doesn’t depend on what others think. Healing starts when you let yourself try, fail, and be imperfect.

When you feel out of control, you might wait for others to approve of your decisions. This need for approval can hold you back from growing and healing. Giving yourself permission means accepting your imperfections, mistakes, and risks. It’s about trusting yourself, not waiting for approval.

You might be waiting for the “perfect” moment or the right tools, but it’s not about being fully prepared. It’s about taking the first step, even if it’s not perfect. When you show up as you are, you build trust and confidence in yourself. Stop waiting for others to say it’s okay. The most important permission you need is from yourself. That’s where healing and growth begin.

In this episode, you'll learn how to give yourself permission to take action, make mistakes, and grow without seeking approval from others. Discover how to build trust with yourself, create internal safety, and let go of the need for external validation. Tune in to learn how to stop waiting for others to grant you permission and start empowering yourself to move forward.

"You have to start giving yourself permission to do it poorly. There has to be a level of permission to make a mistake, to make a mess." – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:02:45) Black Mother Wound was a finalist!

(00:05:17) Syndication means expansion

(00:07:33) A win that is both validating and surreal

(00:11:32) I joined the Black Effect family

(00:13:01) Finding Belonging

(00:17:19) Give yourself permission to do it poorly

(00:19:16) Start with what you have

(00:22:35) Build safety within your own life

(00:23:10) Where are you saying no to yourself?

(00:27:08) No one else can save you; it’s on you

(00:29:23) Stop worrying about what others think

(00:31:29) Be good to yourself

Key Takeaways:

"When black women heal, everybody heals."

"When you lack autonomy, you are constantly looking for permission from someone else."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, m

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist

2. Grab my free mini-course

3. Work with me one-on-one

***************************************

In a world where perception is currency, we’re often more concerned with how things look than how they feel. We smile for pictures when our hearts are heavy, post about joy when we’re barely making it, and perform perfection while silently falling apart. And somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that pretending is noble—that enduring quietly is strength.

The truth is, many of us have become so skilled at hiding our pain that we forget it’s even there. We’ve learned to function in dysfunction. To mistake high performance for healing. To believe that being needed means we’re okay.

Freedom begins when we admit we’re tired of performing—tired of holding it all together while silently falling apart. It’s not weakness to let go of the image of being the strong one; it’s worship. It’s trusting that we’re still loved when we’re not impressive, allowing God to meet us in the mess. Being honest about our needs isn’t a burden—it’s the first step toward real freedom.

In this episode, I challenge the self-righteous label of perfectionist and expose what often lies beneath it—deep feelings of unworthiness and fear of rejection. I share how trauma, especially from childhood experiences with our mothers, can shape how we show up in the world and stop us from even trying. I unpack how language reveals our pain and how healing invites us to change our behavior. If you've ever felt paralyzed by the fear of not being good enough, this one’s for you.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:56) Home is my paradise

(00:03:39) Stop calling yourself a perfectionist

(00:05:41) What perfectionism really says

(00:06:52) The trauma behind trying

(00:09:14) The only way through is exposure

(00:11:45) Stop hiding behind perfectionism

(00:12:51) Start messy, grow anyway

(00:14:27) Growth is scary when you don’t believe

(00:17:09) Perfectionism is abusive

(00:18:19) Re-examine your language

(00:20:00) You can’t keep rejecting the younger you

(00:22:31) Where are you harming yourself?

(00:24:45) Even high-performers feel self-doubt

(00:26:40) I can't do perfect

Key Takeaways:

"Healing is an action verb. It's about how you change your behavior."

"The only way you can prove to yourself that you are worthy is to put your shit out there and then do the reparenting work to soothe yourself in the process."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, preve

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course