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Men, save your marriage

Men, save your marriage

By: Terry Ray
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 Hello gentlemen and welcome to the ‘Men, Save Your Marriage Show’. My name is Terry, I’m your host. I did an autopsy on my failed marriage and now, I use the lessons I learned to help other men on how to save their marriage before it fails completely. I’m going to share with you the things I wish someone would have shared with me before my marriage failed. Each episode dives into the root causes of marital struggles, offering insights and strategies to reignite connections, rebuild trust, and become the leader your home needs. Whether you’re facing communication breakdowns, emotional distance, or just feel like your marriage is slipping away, I am here to guide you with wisdom, humor, and hard-earned lessons from my own journey. Your marriage isn’t over—this is the wake-up call you’ve been waiting for. Subscribe now, and let’s get to work saving your marriage!2024 Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • #68 The Watchtower Series – “Father First, Husband Second”

    #68 The Watchtower Series – “Father First, Husband Second”
    Sep 2 2025
    #68 The Watchtower Series – “Father First, Husband Second” Watchman’s Call You heard that bell— That means we are in the ring, fighting for your marriage. “You’re listening to Men, Save Your Marriage. No judgment. No fluff. Just a straight shot of clarity into the middle of the chaos that is your marriage.” This is the Watchtower Series—where I climb the tower, scan the horizon, and sound the alarm. These episodes aren’t soft, and they’re not for the passive. They’re warnings. Wake-up calls. If you're in crisis, consider this your call to arms. If your children don’t know what strength looks like, don’t be surprised if your wife forgets.” Most men in marriage crisis think the battlefield is between them and their wife. And while that may feel true—there’s a deeper battlefield you’re standing on every single day: Your role as a father. Because while you’re trying to figure out how to fix things with her— Your children are watching. Listening. Learning. They’re soaking in your tone. Your passivity. Your mood swings. Your leadership—or lack of it. And if you’re not careful, you’ll spend all your energy trying to repair your marriage… While unknowingly transferring broken patterns to your children. Here’s the truth: The way you father will either restore your marriage or reinforce its destruction. Because your wife isn’t just watching how you treat her— She’s watching how you treat them. And in many cases, how you lead your kids will become the foundation for how she sees you again. This is something no one is talking about, no one is teaching and every husband in every marriage needs to understand this, especially if you are in a strained marriage. Let’s get into it. If you were with me a few episodes ago I used an analogy of me tossing grenades into your life to disrupt what you think and how you act about your situation. Well hang on gentlemen, here comes some more. POINT 1: YOUR CHILDREN DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE AS MUCH AS THEY NEED YOUR LEADERSHIP This might hit hard: Being affectionate isn’t the same as being a father. Being present isn’t the same as being powerful. Being around isn’t the same as being rooted. You can love your kids deeply and still be failing to lead them. And while you’re busy trying to fix your marriage— Your kids are becoming like you. Whether you want them to or not. If you’re a father, you’re already a leader. Period. That is not up for discussion, you don't get to have an opinion about it, you don't have to like it or want it, but it is true. So man up, and understand that if you are a father, you are a leader. The only question is—what are you leading your children towards? Emotional reactivity? Silent passivity? Constant apology without change? Weakness disguised as “peace”? Or— Strength under control? Firm correction in love? Mission-minded masculinity? Calm, clear presence? Your kids don’t just need affection. They need a map. They need a man. They need a standard. And the standard starts with you. Here’s what you may not realize: When your son watches you avoid conflict—he learns to back down. When your daughter hears you disrespect her mom—she learns to lower her standards. When your kids see you checked out emotionally—they start believing manhood is weak, soft, or silent. Brother, this is not about perfection. This is about intentional presence. Every day. Because whether you show up strong or not— You are still forming the legacy your kids will walk in. POINT 2: YOUR WIFE JUDGES YOUR VALUE BY HOW YOU LEAD THE HOME Let’s be honest: She may not say it. She may not even be able to articulate it. But your wife is constantly measuring: How safe do I feel in this home? How disciplined are our kids becoming? How much weight does my husband carry—or leave to me? Every woman feels it. She was wired to notice it. When she sees things like this: You ignore the tantrums. You avoid correction because you don’t want to be the “bad guy.” You scroll through your phone while she wrangles chaos. You let her handle all the decisions, the appointments, the discipline. Then she starts thinking: “I don’t have a husband—I have a third child.” That kills respect. That kills attraction. That kills safety. But when she sees this: You calmly correct. You initiate spiritual guidance. You set standards. You hold space for both her and the kids. Then something shifts: “He’s leading us. I can breathe. I can trust. I can rest.” Most men want their wife to respect them, and to want them, and to follow their lead. But if you’re not leading the home—she can’t trust you with her heart. It starts with how you father. POINT 3: IF YOU WANT TO RECLAIM YOUR MARRIAGE, BUILD A LEGACY WORTH FOLLOWING Let’s flip the script. What if your crisis isn’t just about fixing what’s broken— But about becoming the man your children will rise behind? What if this ...
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    20 mins
  • #67 The Watchtower Series – “Why She Doesn’t Want You Anymore”

    #67 The Watchtower Series – “Why She Doesn’t Want You Anymore”
    Aug 26 2025
    #67 The Watchtower Series – “Why She Doesn’t Want You Anymore” Watchman’s Call You heard that bell— That means we are in the ring, fighting for your marriage. “You’re listening to Men, Save Your Marriage. No judgment. No fluff. Just a straight shot of clarity in the middle of your chaos.” This is the Watchtower Series—where I climb the tower, scan the horizon, and sound the alarm. These episodes aren’t soft, and they’re not for the passive. They’re warnings. Wake-up calls. If you're in crisis, consider this your call to arms. Today's episode is another heavy one, but you need to hear the truth so you can address the root cause and not just the symptoms. Why she doesn't want you anymore “She’s not repelled by your body—she’s starved by your absence.” Let’s get straight to the punch today: You think she doesn’t want you anymore because of how you look. The belly. The age. The hair loss. The gray. You think it’s your job. Your income. Your lack of success. But brother, that’s not it. Your wife doesn’t stop desiring you because of your body— She stops desiring you because you stopped showing up. Not physically. Spiritually. Emotionally. Energetically. She doesn’t feel you anymore. She doesn’t feel held. She doesn’t feel led. She doesn’t feel safe in your presence. That’s what kills desire. Not your weight. Not your paycheck. Not your hairline. And I am going to use my three points today to break this wide open for you. You may not like me when this episode is over but you will know with certainty that I want the best for you so I am giving you the no sugar truth, as hard it may be to hear. So, buckle up, no sugarcoating just truth and honesty from a brother who is in your corner. POINT 1: ATTRACTION IS SPIRITUAL BEFORE IT’S PHYSICAL Most men were never taught this: Attraction is not built in the gym. It’s built in your presence. Yes—your body matters. But not the way you think. It’s not about abs. It’s about posture. Energy. Command. Direction. You can be overweight and still magnetic—if your spirit is alive. You can be fit and repulsive—if your energy is needy, weak, or hollow. Here’s what your wife is hardwired to respond to: Clarity. Knowing where you’re going. Conviction. Standing on something solid. Groundedness. Not reactive, not insecure. Direction. Not wandering, not stuck. She wants to feel like she’s with a man on mission. Not a man just trying to survive. That presence? That masculine force? It’s what makes her body lean in. It’s what makes her mind soften. It’s what makes her want again. She doesn’t need you to be flawless. She needs you to wake up. POINT 2: PASSIVITY KILLS DESIRE FASTER THAN ANY AFFAIR You stopped initiating. You stopped pursuing. You started waiting for her to give you a green light. And when she didn’t—you backed off more. Now, you’re waiting. Sulking. Touching less. Speaking less. Trying to be “respectful.” But she doesn’t want a nice guy. She wants a grounded man. One who notices her. One who claims her—not in domination, but in strength. One who initiates—not just sexually, but emotionally and spiritually. Here’s what happens when you go passive: She starts to mother you—or resent you. She shuts down sexually, even if she doesn’t understand why. She starts fantasizing about what it would be like to be seen again. And brother—another man doesn’t have to enter the picture for this to be a problem. The fantasy could be emotional. Internal. A longing for something more. And she won’t even know how to name it. She just knows she doesn’t want you like she used to. But it’s not because you’re less sexy. It’s because you’re less certain. You stopped driving the ship. You became a passenger. You tried to “keep the peace” instead of leading through the storm. And it killed the polarity between you two. POINT 3: YOU CAN REAWAKEN DESIRE—BUT NOT BY CHASING IT Now the good news: This doesn’t have to be the end. You can rebuild the attraction. You can reignite the polarity, the magnetism where is drawn to you. You can become the man she responds to again. But not by begging. Not by flowers. Not by long emotional talks. By becoming dangerous again. Now, hear me clearly, notice I did not say by becoming unsafe or reckless. That is a common mistake and it doesn't work, now all you are doing is scaring her. Not unsafe, not reckless, but dangerous. Strong, certain, and untamed in your direction. How to reawaken attraction the right way: 1. Reclaim your body—not to impress her, but to anchor yourself. Start lifting again. Start walking daily. Start fasting, stretching, sweating. Not for her. For you. Because when your body wakes up—your presence does too. And women are drawn to men who ...
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    22 mins
  • 66 The Watchtower Series - Stop Apologizing. Start Leading.

    66 The Watchtower Series - Stop Apologizing. Start Leading.
    Aug 19 2025
    23 mins
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