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#57: Lead The Way – Correct With Authority

#57: Lead The Way – Correct With Authority

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 #57: Lead The Way – Correct With Authority INTRO: WHY MOST MEN GET CORRECTION WRONG Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. You’re listening to Episode 6 in our Lead the Damn Way series. And if you’ve made it this far, I already know one thing about you—you’re not here to play small. You’re here because you’ve realized something: You can’t save your marriage by being passive. You also can’t lead it by being controlling. And when it comes to correction—when it comes to those moments where something needs to change, where you need to speak up, where the tone is off, the attitude is sideways, the behavior isn’t building anything good—most men fall into one of two traps: They either explode, getting loud, reactive, and overbearing… Or they evaporate, staying quiet, backing down, hoping it just blows over. Both of those kill respect. Both of those erode intimacy. And both of those are symptoms of a man who doesn’t yet know how to correct with real, masculine authority. Today, we’re going to fix that. There is a third way. A better way. A stronger, calmer, more grounded way to lead your marriage and your home without controlling it, and without giving your power away. We’re going to talk about: Why correction isn’t control How to stay calm in confrontation What authority actually looks like in action So whether your wife is sarcastic or silent, whether your kids are disrespectful or distracted, whether you’re in a season of rebuilding or just trying to hold the line—you need this. Let’s get into it. POINT 1: CONTROL ISN’T AUTHORITY—AND PASSIVITY ISN’T LOVE Let’s expose the lie that keeps men weak: “Correction is the same as control.” If you believe that lie, you only have two options: Dominate Or disappear And most men bounce between both. They try dominating first. That means: Raising their voice Giving ultimatums Managing every detail Demanding respect without earning it And when that blows up in their face, they retreat into passivity. That means: Not speaking up Avoiding confrontation Hoping “being nice” will fix the atmosphere Here’s the truth: neither approach builds trust. Neither approach builds respect. And neither approach reflects the strength you were designed to walk in. What your wife feels when you try to control: Unsafe Micromanaged Like she’s being parented, not partnered Like she needs to resist you just to breathe What she feels when you’re passive: Alone Unprotected Like the emotional weight of the home is on her shoulders Like she has to lead because you won’t This is why women test tone. Not to tear you down. Not to disrespect you. But to find out: “Can I trust this man to hold steady when things get tense? Can I push against him emotionally and still feel his strength? Can I trust that he won’t collapse or explode if I’m in a bad place?” If your answer is to explode, she sees you as unsafe. If your answer is to disappear, she sees you as unreliable. But if your answer is to stay present, calm, and clear—even when she’s not— She sees something rare. She sees strength she can trust. She sees a man who knows who he is. That’s what we’re after. POINT 2: WHAT CALM, GROUNDED CORRECTION LOOKS LIKE So what does it actually look like to correct with authority? Let’s break it down. 1. You Name the Standard Authority doesn’t begin with volume—it begins with clarity. You can’t enforce a standard you haven’t established. And you shouldn’t correct behavior that you haven’t first defined. Examples of standards: “In this home, we don’t raise our voices at each other.” “Sarcasm is not how we connect. I need honesty, not jabs.” “We follow through on what we say. That’s who we are.” “Disrespectful talk isn’t how we solve problems.” These are truths stated without apology. This is not about nitpicking behavior. This is about naming a culture. If your home feels chaotic, if your marriage feels tense, if your kids walk on eggshells or act out constantly—it’s likely because no one’s named the standard. So start there. 2. You Stay Calm When Challenged This is where most men lose ground. You try to hold the line—and she pushes back. You name the standard—and the teenager rolls their eyes. And what do most men do? They try to win the moment. They fight harder. They talk louder. They escalate to prove their point. But correction isn’t about winning—it’s about leading. When you get pushback, you don’t match the energy. You don’t trade jabs. You don’t try to punish with your words. You root yourself in calm masculinity. You say something like: “I can see you’re upset. I’m open to hearing you, but I won’t engage in this tone. Let’s reset.” Or: “I’m not angry, but I am serious. That’s not okay with me. Let’s find a better way to move forward.” Correction is not about emotion—it’s about ...

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