A super embarrassing story, and yet, here we are.

Having my mom followed me to the airport, and finding out I was lying. I wasn’t going to Buenos Aires alone, I was going with my bf.

It wasn’t just the external force, between my mom and I.

It was an internal force.

This was one of the bigger fights with my parents, because I could actually stand.

There were so many times, I felt I couldn’t stand for me. I just kept being pushed.

Every two steps I forge ahead, I was pushed back 10.

And yet, it’s more than that.

Not just external, it’s internal.

It’s me against me. The internal guilt, that I wasn’t the good daughter they wanted me to be. The doubt, am I making the right decision? What if it was a bad one? The fear… of having to face my parents.

If you know, you know.

I’m sharing to let you know that I understand fully.

And as much as we want to figure out what can we say or do to make them understand, there is no such thing.

We can’t change them, we can only change ourselves.

We let them be them, we let us be us.

So let’s go on a journey, to heal ourselves, to figure out our wants, and build the courage to take that stand.

If you want to join, there are so many ways.

Come to the FB group “Journey to Me”
Join my 5-day free training to let go of guilt.
Watch my training videos.
Book a time with me.

You’re not alone, we can do this, together.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2249634185512389

#healingjourney
#toxicparents
#familytrauma
#boundariesmatter
#emotionalhealing

I've created a group for Adult Children who have very traditional, controlling, manipulative parents, who now just want to live for themselves.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2249634185512389

I was the daughter who was very obedient, who wanted to please my family. I studied hard, and worked hard. And yet I wanted more than the traditional path.

So when I came upon the time to decide on my life partner, I had to make a very difficult choice. Do I please my parents and make myself unhappy? Or do I choose myself, and watch them walk away?

Because obedience equals love. If I don’t obey, that means I don’t love them, don’t respect them.

It took me a long time to separate these two things.

Luckily my parents came around. And yet I know there are many people whose parents are not like that, very toxic and controlling.

And that’s why I created this group, so we can walk through this together.

Because I know it can be quite lonely and scary.

I’ll be creating training videos and sharing stories in this group.

I’ll see you in there. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2249634185512389

This week, we talk about the concept of Delulu is the Solulu - "Delusion is the Solution".

And we shared about what that looks like for each of us.

Believing that things are going to work out no matter what.

Dealing with disappointment, and being able to go back to tease out the limiting beliefs.

How seeing our parents (and our ancestors) doing their best.

Also how for those of us with parents who don't love us, seeing our lives as the Hero's Journey.

This month, stay delusional! We hope you're a magnetic for the magic in your life.

**********

A little more about Phoebe Maina (@selflovewithphoebe )

A heart break and the lost of her best friend propelled Phoebe to a deep practice of self-love, which forever changed the trajectory of her life. From being a model, an aeronautical engineer to now a Self-Love Coach and Speaker. Other things she love: her cat, the gym & dancing in elevators.

A bit about Claudia Chan: from playing super small and chock full of self-doubt to becoming an award winning speaker, a Courage Coach, and the queen of burning everything down just so she can have fun along the way.

Things she love: her son, her husband, Japan, and tango and salsa around the world.

Today, we opened our conversation to share things that are getting too real.

We shared about this mean inner voice we have.

We talked about gratitude, our dreams, of what we want to see happen.

If you want to connect with us:

Phoebe:

https://www.instagram.com/selflovewithphoebe/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/phoebe-maina-22109222b/

Claudia:

https://www.instagram.com/claudiachan.co/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/claudia-chan-coaching/

Starting this week, Phoebe and myself are going to go live once a week for 30 min, come together for a chat on Youtube. And the recording will also be uploaded here.

This week, we talked about friendship, and choice.

Have a listen, and would love any feedback!

I fucked up a lot this year.
I mean … I said yes when I should have & needed to say no.
I hesitated saying “HECK YES” to what felt in alignment.
I waited too long when opportunities came up.
I put off doing the big things & the small, almost inconsequential ones.
Some days I ended up with a longer to do list than I started the day with.

Point is, I failed A LOT.
I fucked up one too many times.
And yes, I took multiple detours in 2024.

But you see, in the detours, failures & fuckery / fuckedupness, I grew, I stretched & ended up exactly where I was meant to be.
I became who I am & I drew invaluable life lessons that I will take with me to the next phase of my life.

How about you? Did you win a lot? Did you kiss rock bottom at least once in 2024?

Join my beautiful soul sister @claudiachan.co & I, for our 10th & final Radiant Blossom in 2024, on the 28th Dec 9:00am, Beijing Time (8pm Eastern 27th), where we will all celebrate the detours, fuck-ups & wins in a safe space.
Come as you are & Bring all of who you are.

DM for the Zoom link.

From the deepest parts of who I am,
I see you & I love you.

Sometimes when two people come together, we may come into conflict.

If only this person can do that! Or I have to behave this way.

Many of it can be traced back to our childhood, while growing up, we had written ourselves a book of expectations.

And the only way to make changes to the list is to get to know what is written in this book.

That’s why Phoebe Maina and myself hosting our 9th Radiant Blossom: My expectations in and within my relationships.

WHAT'S HOLDING ME/YOU BACK?

When the world is quiet and you’re truly alone and with your mind, what do you think about? What do you hope for? Follow that. - Bianca Sparacino

Now, what's holding you back from going all in after the deep seated desires of your soul? What's holding you back from saying Yes and jumping in head first? What's holding you back?

Join us for Part 2 of The Becoming Series, on the 17th of August, 9:00am Beijing Time (16th of August, 9:00pm Eastern) where my girl @claudiachan.co and I, will sit with you and explore this question deeper.

I can't wait to see you then!
Love you loads.