Ego Listening Is What Hurts - #ACIM

Dealing with outsiders - ACIM text Intro

Summary

The text frames forgiveness as the essential condition that allows prayer to rise. Prayer is timeless; forgiveness is temporary because it exists only as long as judgment exists. Judgment is the act of assigning meaning, dividing people into categories, and assuming one knows what things “mean.” Forgiveness is the release of these interpretations. When interpretations fall away, perception changes, and the present moment becomes workable. If one dislikes a person, situation, or oneself, the “problem” is usually the judgment attached to it, not the thing itself.

Forgiveness ends when the belief in being a separate self ends—when identity is no longer the body or the stream of personal thoughts. In that state, everything is experienced as connected, already fulfilled, and harmless. Life becomes more like watching a play with Jesus rather than being trapped in it.

Examples illustrate this.

• Leila misinterpreted her child’s social situation and built elaborate stories about rejection; once she asked directly, the situation dissolved and the judgment was revealed as fiction.

• Jevon described feeling rejected at a conference, noticing how his own conflicting desires—wanting inclusion and wanting to escape—created inner turmoil.

The text warns that forgiveness is often misunderstood. Many use it as a weapon, implying superiority or reinforcing guilt (“I forgive you, but you were wrong”). This is “forgiveness to destroy,” which keeps sin alive, enlarges error, and treats love as dangerous. Real forgiveness does the opposite: it sees sameness, not hierarchy.

Guilt is discussed as the root of suffering. The primary guilt is the belief in separation from God, which generates the special, separate self. That guilt is projected outward, causing constant searching for fault. The ego promises fulfillment in separateness but delivers contradiction: wanting acceptance while wanting uniqueness; wanting children strong but wanting them shielded from hardship; wanting love but withholding openness. The ego’s motto is “seek but do not find.”

To undo guilt, one releases seriousness. Seriousness presumes that death is real, danger is real, and enemies exist. When seriousness dissolves, the need for an enemy dissolves. Attack—toward strangers, loved ones, or oneself—comes from believing danger is real and separation is real. If there is no “other,” there is no one to defend against.

One discussion showed this dynamic:

• kristen projected financial fear onto China and reacted with anger. Jevon pointed out the underlying fear—being asked for money and feeling trapped between giving and resenting or refusing and feeling guilty. The shift comes from reframing the ask as trust rather than burden.

• Soo asked about “other” versus “enemy.” Jevon noted that an enemy begins as an “other,” and the world expands or contracts based on who is included in one’s sense of oneness.

• Conversations about belonging versus uniqueness showed that the conflict is not solved by choosing one side but by recognizing that both desires arise from the mistaken identity as a separate self.

Several interpersonal examples explored how to respond to overwhelming or difficult people.

• Leila struggled with a talkative acquaintance. Jevon suggested either the gentle advisory approach (“In my life I’ve found…”) or the direct but open-hearted approach (“Have you noticed that…?”). The point is authenticity, not accusation. Avoidance appears kind but is usually self-protection dressed as politeness. Real kindness is truthful, curious, and anchored in goodwill.

• Healthy communication requires noticing one’s own judgments and speaking from clarity rather than irritation. Accusatory statements trigger defense; open statements invite reflection. Space in conversation corresponds to space in the person’s inner life; when someone barrels ahead without pause, they are often afraid of what others might say.

Leila later reported success using direct honesty with another friend, which deepened connection. This reinforced the idea that oneness appears when false stories and hidden resentments are cleared.

The closing idea: forgiveness is always self-forgiveness. One never truly forgives “another,” because what is seen in others is one’s own projected guilt. Prayer is a vibrational state—gratitude without judgment. Forgiveness restores this state by releasing the belief in separation and the need for an enemy. When that belief drops, the world becomes harmless, unified, and safe, and one realizes that one has never been alone.

#acim #forgiveness

#acim #believeittoseeit

Nov 10, 2025

Summary

Jevon Perra opened the meeting and Soo Kim read Lesson 30, emphasizing that vision sees what is already in the mind, while "sight" is derived from projection, and the idea of "God is in everything I see because God is in my mind" should be applied often, both externally and internally. The participants discussed the concept of projection, with Jevon Perra explaining how the perceived "density" of an idea, like the "solid barrier" of silence in a relationship with Carolyn, relates to how hard it is to dissipate, a dynamic that kristen and their partner also experience. Soo Kim noted that relationship dynamics are influenced by "feminine energy," and the group shared personal experiences with projecting inner beliefs onto others, such as Soo Kim's belief that men are the enemy and Leila Fung's self-labeling as the "angry black woman," while kristen discussed their projection of not making their partner happy. Jevon Perra explored how one's greatest strength can be a weakness, leading to patterns of attracting partners who overcome formidable barriers, and Leila Fung stressed the importance of humanizing one's enemies, while Soo Kim and Leila Fung shared personal examples of pushing partners away as tests. Jevon Perra concluded that true love is unconditional, not a trade, and requires lowering defenses, and they also advised kristen, who struggles with maintaining unconditional love for their daughter Britain, to focus on giving themselves grace and being aware of self-created patterns.

Details

Lesson 30: God is in everything I see because God is in my mind Jevon Perra opened the meeting, noting Leila Fung’s absence due to Harper’s birthday party, before Soo Kim began reading Lesson 30. The lesson introduces a "new kind of projection," where one attempts to see what is already in their mind in the world, seeking to join with what they see rather than keeping it apart. Soo Kim stated this is the fundamental difference between vision and the usual way of seeing.

Vision versus Sight Jevon Perra clarified that "vision" relates to seeing the world as Christ sees it, whereas "sight" is what is projected out, often derived from sin, guilt, and separation. Jevon Perra added that the idea of perception, sin, and guilt is what people project out because they "feel bad about" it.

Application of the Idea Soo Kim outlined the application of the day's idea, suggesting repeating it often while looking around and recognizing that it applies to everything seen or potentially seen. Soo Kim further noted that real vision is not limited by concepts like near and far, nor does it rely on the body's eyes, as the mind is its only source. Practice periods were also recommended to apply the idea with eyes closed, looking within rather than without, as the idea applies equally to both.

Ideas and Density Jevon Perra discussed how within and without are essentially the same, contrasting the perception that the physical world is "real" while ideas are merely "made up". They drew an analogy between the idea of something being physically dense, like a table, and its spiritual/vibrational density, suggesting that a denser, or slower-vibrating, idea like ice is harder to dissipate or "let go" than the lighter water vapor. Jevon Perra used the example of adding heat to ice to raise its vibration, moving it from solid to liquid to vapor, which relates to how things in life can move from solid barriers to formless states that do not impede one.

Personal Barriers and Relationships Jevon Perra applied the concept of making things solid to personal barriers in relationships, citing their experience with their partner, Carolyn, where Carolyn's silence when upset becomes a painful, "deafening" solid barrier. Jevon Perra noted that when themself makes a problem real, they support its "solidness" and "permanence," making it worse. kristen related to this dynamic, noting it "sounds just like" them and their partner, considering it a "whole boundary thing".

Gender Dynamics in Relationships Soo Kim suggested that women often control the flow of their family and relationships because it aligns with "feminine energy," which is linked to emotion and life force, while masculine energy is containment. Jevon Perra agreed, likening themself to the "fire pit" and Carolyn to the "fire," noting that when the "fire goes out it's like cold".

De-solidifying Conflicts Jevon Perra discussed the importance of realizing a difficulty is "not real" to keep it fluid, which raises the frequency to "pass right through it". They shared that in their relationship, when one person is "unhinged," the other person makes the situation "not real," such as Carolyn laughing when Jevon Perra gets upset over "stupid stuff".

You Find What You Seek - ACIM