Episodes

  • The Let Go Game - ACIM

    The Let Go Game - ACIM
    Feb 11 2026
    Personal Flow and Attachment Soo Kim expressed a feeling of being on the "verge of something". Jevon Perra commented that Soo Kim was doing great with "not attaching to any outcome and just flowing non-judgmentally," which Jevon Perra admitted they struggle with, though they are aware of their attachments. They agreed that the unawareness of one's "craziness" is what causes trouble.Judgment and Sincerity Jevon Perra stated that they constantly have judgments, including about people who are "happy nice," like their Mormon friends, where they don't perceive sincerity. Soo Kim related to the judgment of insincerity, citing it as a major reason for a "rupture with Leila," because they judged her actions as insincere and fake. Jevon Perra agreed that having the data to be "right about my perceptions" is not the ultimate goal because their perceptions and best-case scenarios do not lead to ultimate happiness or peace.Contentment as the Highest State Jevon Perra asserted that the pursuit of achievement and accomplishment does not bring unending happiness and bliss, noting that past moments of having everything only brought momentary satisfaction. They suggested that the "other game" is to simply be content, which they considered "probably the highest state," because if one is content, their apparent energetic state does not matter as much.Illusion of the Singular Self and Happiness Set Point Soo Kim discussed the "illusion of the singular self," stating that even within a personality construct, there are multiple aspects, and the matter is which one one attaches to. Jevon Perra referenced a psychology book, The How of Happy, which suggests that most of one's happiness is set by genetics and other propensities, but about 30% comes from choices made, specifically one's speech and thoughts.The Meaning of Seriousness When asked where they fall on the happiness scale, Jevon Perra described Soo Kim as a "princess warrior type," serious about what is real and true, which Jevon Perra relates to. Jevon Perra defined being serious as meaning "life and death," explaining that to be serious is to stop playing, believe something will kill you, and stop being loose, unguarded, and oneself. They also related seriousness to suffering, where one stops "trusting God" and takes matters into their own hands, leading to suffering.The Enneagram Type Three Racket Jevon Perra shared that as an Enneagram Type Three, they are a performer who struggles to know what is truly them, losing themselves in their performances because they prioritize achievement. They explained that a "racket" is a game played to hide the "real business," drawing an analogy to a butcher shop fronting an alcohol operation during prohibition. Jevon Perra stated that their current "racket" involves engaging in human suffering to be relatable to others, but they get lost in the pain of the character they are playing.Connection versus Attachment Soo Kim questioned the sincerity of relating to people without "getting sucked in," calling it a form of insincerity and faking. Jevon Perra made a distinction between trying to relate and trying to connect, emphasizing that needing to connect is also an attachment. Jevon Perra described extreme attachment as the "needy" individual whose outward show of love is experienced as taking, not giving, because they are trying to "vampire" or suck life from the other.The Origin of Sincerity Discussing sincerity, Jevon Perra provided the etymology of the word, explaining that it is Latin for "without wax," originating from the practice of repairing broken marble statues with wax and dust. To be sincere means not hiding brokenness or what one does not want others to see; it means being transparent. Jevon Perra contrasted this with insincere interactions, such as someone being overly nice, suggesting that something is being hidden.The Progression of Relationships and Sincerity Jevon Perra discussed that normal human interactions are permission-based, with gradual sharing of more personal or "sketchy" information. They noted that always presenting only the cordial side is insincere, and relationships must progress, or the lack of progression signals an issue. If cracks are not shown willingly, Jevon Perra cautioned that they will be revealed through pressure or conflict, which is hurtful.Childhood Dynamics and Emotional Triggers Soo Kim related Jevon Perra's observations about insincerity to their own experience of being triggered and wanting to tell others how they were not hearing them, which mirrors a childhood dynamic where they learned defense mechanisms like taking things seriously to feel safe. Soo Kim felt their mother needed them to behave a certain way to feel like a "good mom," leading to a dynamic where they felt unable to be themself.The Attachment to Outcomes Jevon Perra shared their current personal lesson, which is the triggering belief that they "have to take care of people," specifically their family. This belief ...
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    44 mins
  • the HOW of Healing - ACIM

    the HOW of Healing - ACIM
    Feb 6 2026
    Manual for Teachers in A Course in Miracles. "How is healing accomplished?"Meeting Topic Selection With only kristen and Jevon Perra present at the start of the discussion, they decided to read from the Manual for Teachers in A Course in Miracles. They chose the topic "How is healing accomplished?" after considering other options like "trust". Soo Kim joined the meeting later.The Perceived Purpose of Sickness Jevon Perra introduced the reading on healing, stating that healing requires understanding the illusion of sickness and its perceived purpose. The text suggests that sickness has value to the sufferer, acting as an election and a choice of weakness in the mistaken belief that it provides strength. Jevon Perra explained that sickness confirms the body's reality and the ego's separation ideas, which is considered valuable because the loss of this separate identity feels worse than death, like annihilation.Ego, Separation, and Fear Jevon Perra discussed how the ego values things that confirm the physical world and individual separation as real, using sickness as a confirmation. The focus on the physical world and material needs, such as rent and income, creates fear and anxiety. kristen agreed that fear and anxiety can induce sickness, mentioning their realization that they had been severely stressed out, and reflecting on the difficulty of living in the present rather than worrying about the future.Separation from God and Suffering The reading suggested that sickness symbolizes the "defeat of God's son" and the son's attempt to usurp the Creator's throne, driven by the belief that God is fierce and powerful. Jevon Perra interpreted this within a non-dual perspective, where being a separate entity requires "taking" life from the infinite wholeness of God, which is why separation and sickness are cherished by the ego for survival. This separateness inevitably leads to suffering because of the perception of lack.Personal Struggles with Expectations and Presence kristen related the discussion of separation to their own life, noting the stress of striving for a "perfect marriage" or being a "perfect mom". kristen shared that they often stress about financial future, such as paying rent in six months, instead of being thankful and present with their children. Jevon Perra responded by discussing the idea of watching oneself as a character with a script, suggesting that acceptance of the character's flaws and fears, like feeling worthless without accomplishment, is key to realizing one is not the character but the consciousness enlivening it.The Nature of Drama and Desire Jevon Perra argued that life needs drama, comparing the human experience to an entertaining but challenging show like Yellowstone, which kristen enjoys but does not wish to live. kristen questioned whether thinking about an outcome makes it real. Jevon Perra explained that perception determines reality, which can change in an instant, giving the example of two people having completely different experiences at the same party due to different perceptions.Healing and the Mind's Decision The discussion shifted to the conditions under which healing occurs, stating that it happens when the value placed on sickness is recognized and dismissed. The text emphasized that decisions are made by the mind, not the body, and sickness is a decision or a "faulty problem-solving approach". Jevon Perra elaborated that accepting sickness as a decision of the mind is the basis of healing, noting that the patient's mind, not the personality, is the true physician.Contentment and Non-Attachment to Outcome Jevon Perra posited that people pursue accomplishments (health, wealth, love) in search of happiness and contentment, but the activity of pursuing actually maintains separation from it, as it implies a lack. Contentment comes from releasing the idea of lack. kristen agreed, sharing their relaxed approach to changing careers, prioritizing peace over anxiety. Jevon Perra suggested striving to do things without attachment to the outcome, which makes life a fun game, referencing a non-competitive game they play with their wife.Instincts, Cells, and the One Mind Soo Kim raised a question about instincts and reflexes, which they thought were separate from the mind, as they relate to the body's intelligence. Jevon Perra clarified that, according to non-dual teaching, the source of the universe is the "one mind". They illustrated the concept of the whole organism over the individual part by explaining programmed cell death (apoptosis), comparing cancer to a cell that rejects its duty to die for the sake of the whole, choosing to preserve its own identity instead.Ego and Forgiveness Jevon Perra discussed how the ego can label things as necessary for survival, but none of it is ultimately true. They identified cues for letting go of something as any feeling that is the opposite of love, abundance, or contentment, such as defensiveness, protection, or a feeling of needing...
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    48 mins
  • REST IN GOD (when things feel f#@k'd). ACIM Lesson 109.

    REST IN GOD (when things feel f#@k'd). ACIM Lesson 109.
    Jan 31 2026
    Morning Gathering and Spiritual Reading Denise Darlene joined Jevon Perra and later Soo Kim for a morning session. Denise Darlene shared a reading from the deck about being "sustained by the love of God," which she said was chosen randomly. Jevon Perra expressed that the concept of being sustained by God's love was helpful, especially in the context of personal "freaking out about sustenance" due to considering quitting a job to start a new venture (00:00:38).Conflict of Thought Systems Jevon Perra described two conflicting internal conversations: one promoting "massive activity" out of fear of financial doom and the other, which is more aligned with Denise Darlene's teachings, emphasizing sustenance from God's love and the release of attachments to accomplishments. Denise Darlene confirmed that the fearful voice, which Jevon Perra feels is only focused on activity as hope, is the "ego voice," and awareness of this voice is 80% of the work in overcoming such struggles (00:02:01) (00:04:36).Ego and the Fear of Failure Denise Darlene explained that the ego is afraid of failure because it understands its limitations, recounting a personal anecdote from a coaching session where she was told, "Oh, you don't" matter when expressing a fear of not mattering if she did not produce something (00:04:36). She stressed that trying to matter or achieve, driven by ego beliefs, will never work, which Jevon Perra confirmed based on personal "data" that shows they are financially secure yet still driven by the "accomplishment muscle" (00:05:48). Jevon Perra noted that this activity acts as a distraction from the stillness, which feels like "dying" to the ego mechanism (00:07:06).Discipline and Spiritual Perspective Denise Darlene advised Jevon Perra to practice discipline by being still and letting the fearful ego thoughts arise and pass without attaching to them, which she suggests is essential for discovering deeper issues (00:08:35). She stated that Jevon Perra's perspective is flawed by focusing on an amount of money rather than acknowledging oneness with God, reinforcing the spiritual perspective that God is the sole source of supply. Denise Darlene referenced Christian mystic Joel Goldsmith's teaching, which redirects focus from physical senses to spiritual reality, similar to the principle in A Course in Miracles that things do not have the meaning placed upon them by the observer (00:09:41).Oneness with God and Non-Doing Denise Darlene emphasized that the spiritual filter of "oneness with God" means "all that God is and all that God has is already present," and Jesus taught to "seek ye first the kingdom of heaven within," implying taking no thought for material needs. Jevon Perra likened their addiction to accomplishment to an addiction to food, where they continue the activity they know instigates suffering while attempting to release the attachment to it (00:12:24). Denise Darlene clarified that one is "inspired to do things" but is "not the doer," suggesting the distinction lies in the motivator: ego-driven action for external validation versus altruistic action as an act of love with no attachment (00:13:48).Grace and Allowing the Ego to Collapse Denise Darlene framed personal success around "grace," stating that one should not take credit for successes or failures because "God is doing everything" (00:16:53) (00:20:39). Jevon Perra agreed that the feeling of doing, even making a mistake, is often the ego jumping in after the fact (00:22:03). Denise Darlene encouraged Jevon Perra to allow the full "collapse" and "death" of the ego structure, which is necessary for freedom, noting that it can happen in a "holy instant" or through struggle, but requires a "tiny bit of willingness" (00:23:40).The Question of Willingness Soo Kim expressed difficulty in differentiating between ego-driven effort and genuine spiritual surrender, questioning if their willingness to see things differently might be a form of "spiritual bypassing". Denise Darlene stated that the question of genuine willingness can only be answered by the individual and challenged the participants on whether they are willing to let their "entire ego structure die," addressing the ego's powerful fear of physical death associated with this surrender (00:25:02) (00:27:55). Soo Kim admitted an unwillingness to allow themselves or their families to be homeless, while Denise Darlene countered by citing the examples of influential devotees who took vows of poverty, emphasizing that true faith requires the willingness to "let it all go" (00:30:47) (00:33:22).Attachment and Spiritual Practice Jevon Perra shared a story about attachment to an impossible past relationship ruining a current one, relating it to their own internal attachment to accomplishment for "fulfillment, peace, contentment" despite knowing intellectually that these are not achieved through accomplishment (00:33:22) (00:36:01). Denise Darlene read Lesson 109 from A Course in Miracles ("I rest in...
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • #ACIM. Manual for Teachers. 3. Levels of Teaching

    #ACIM. Manual for Teachers. 3. Levels of Teaching
    Jan 9 2026

    #ACIM. Manual for Teachers. 3. Levels of Teaching
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    39 mins
  • What Flavor Ego Are U? #ACIM WrkBook Lesson 35 with Denise Darlene

    What Flavor Ego Are U? #ACIM WrkBook Lesson 35 with Denise Darlene
    Jan 2 2026
    What Flavor Ego Are U? #ACIM WrkBook Lesson 35 with Denise DarleneEgo, Fear, and Attack Thoughts Jevon Perra stated that the attack is validated because it's necessary to maintain a separate identity, validating "I am me" and an "outside". Jevon Perra explained that, based on the Course, the only two real experiences are love or fear, and fear is attack-based. Soo Kim agreed that finding differences and separation seems to be an important step in human development.Persona, Authenticity, and Forgiveness Jevon Perra explained that the word "persona" means "mask," suggesting that being a person or human involves wearing a mask, and authenticity is often tied to a person's committed mask. Jevon Perra suggested that if one believes they are their mask, they are authentic, but if the mask is used solely to achieve an outcome, it is inauthentic or manipulative. Jevon Perra likened forgiveness, in the context of the Course, to using a thorn to remove other thorns before discarding the final thorn, representing the release of all stories and definitions of separation, including the basic story of "I am a person".Personal Defenses and Childhood Experiences Soo Kim shared that they need to clarify goals with their therapist, describing an ego defense named Meredith that comes out when they feel threatened. Soo Kim spoke about their mother's attempt to "smooth out" their "sharp" personality, suggesting their mother's goal was to mold them into a compliant and useful member of society. Soo Kim felt they were never allowed to have feelings or opinions validated, which was compounded by Korean and Catholic cultures, leading them to try and figure out who they are and not be ruled by these pressures.Enneagram Type and Parental Judgment Denise Darlene asked Soo Kim about their Enneagram type, confirming they are a 54, which aligns with having a private life and a tendency to analyze a lot. Soo Kim recounted a past event where their sister, who attended a birthday event, was surprised by the number of friends present, saying their mother felt nobody would show up due to Soo Kim’s "sharp personality". Denise Darlene affirmed that the need for "quieting" was about Soo Kim's mother's image and fear of judgment, asserting that Soo Kim is never the problem in any relationship.Conflict Resolution and Capacity Soo Kim described a recent rupture with Leila, noting Leila's text message stating being overwhelmed and "not ready" to talk. Soo Kim felt Leila’s apology for causing hurt seemed like a "fake" attempt to sweep things under the rug, prioritizing ease over an authentic conversation. Denise Darlene advised Soo Kim to consider that Leila's response reflects her capacity, noting that Leila may not approach things the same way Soo Kim does.Emotional Triggers and Inquiry Denise Darlene suggested that nothing outside of a person can cause an experience, and emotional triggers point to an "old wound" or belief within that is being invited to be investigated and rewritten. When Soo Kim mentioned feeling annoyed, Denise Darlene clarified that annoyance indicates being triggered, and asked about Soo Kim's fear in that moment, to which Soo Kim responded with a fear of being "worthless" and feeling "disrespected". Denise Darlene suggested investigating the feeling of being disrespected or dismissed, potentially using Byron Katie's work, and proposed that inquiry, such as asking "How are you feeling right now," is critical to avoid making assumptions or projections.The Journey of Unfolding and Spiritual Practice Denise Darlene clarified that they are not inviting Soo Kim to "soften" but to address the triggers that cause harm, noting that the journey involves moving away from the extremes of being silenced or being overly loud. Soo Kim then suggested reading or doing Lesson 35 from the Course. Jevon Perra read Lesson 35, "My mind is part of God's. I am very holy," which focuses on establishing identity by establishing one's source, presenting a view of the self beyond the ego-based image or "persona".Applying the Lesson and Releasing Attachments Lesson 35 instructs the application to focus on the perceiver, searching the mind for descriptive terms (positive or negative) used to see oneself, and following each term with "but my mind is part of God's I am very holy". Jevon Perra discussed the Course's idea of a "tiny mad idea" of separation, which leads to a choice between love or fear, sameness or difference, in every moment. Jevon Perra asserted that the whole work is about releasing, as there is nothing to accomplish or prove.Defense, Neutrality, and Removing Blocks Soo Kim brought up the idea of divine versus profane masculine and feminine, expressing a desire to know themself and not be boundaryless or "trampled on". Denise Darlene emphasized that the only reason for defense is believing one has been attacked, referencing Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, particularly "don't take anything personally". Denise Darlene ...
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    29 mins
  • Trusting. Can't Do It On My Own. ACIM with Denise

    Trusting. Can't Do It On My Own. ACIM with Denise
    Dec 30 2025

    ACIM with Denise. https://www.newparadigmoflove.org/

    #trust #trusting and the Ego Jevon Perra explained that learning to trust God, the one power manipulating and directing life, allows for rest because all challenges are directed by God for one's highest good. The lack of trust stems from the ego, which includes not trusting oneself or feeling inadequate, which Jevon Perra stated is the untrustworthy and "not good enough" ego (00:03:06). They invited participants to trust their "higher self" and develop the awareness to distinguish between the ego and the peaceful movements of the Holy Spirit (00:04:19).

    Perception, Cause, and Effect Jevon Perra discussed how a lack of trust is associated with the expectation of an external effect needing to happen for them to reach a desired state, such as gaining possessions to be at peace or achieving respect after learning enough (00:04:19). They highlighted the teaching that perception is learning and cause and effect are never separated, suggesting that the suffering comes from the belief that a specific external effect must happen (00:05:55). Jevon Perra also suggested naming the ego, sharing that their ego's name is Dorca, to create separation and to not take the ego's fear-based, trouble-causing actions seriously (00:07:04).

    Trust, Expectation, and Surrender When in trust, Jevon Perra noted that they let go of all their "rackets" and expectations, including the meaning of what is happening (00:08:34). Kristen shared that this concept feels like having "split personalities" between the true self and the ego, and confessed that their rage stems from going off emotions rather than trusting God (00:09:36). Jevon Perra emphasized that the ego is arrogant and thinks it knows everything, but the reality is that surrender and trust in God's governance are necessary to experience the "kingdom of heaven on earth" (00:13:07).

    Trust in Difficult Circumstances and Medical Treatment Kristen, who was starting radiation that day, discussed how the "not knowing" triggers them and turns them into a different person, but they must trust the process and believe that the experience is their path. Jevon Perra suggested that the doctors and medical staff are operating through the mind of God and that trust should be placed in God's directive, noting that even if we do not like the circumstances, the ultimate purpose is love (00:10:40) (00:15:35). Jevon Perra also shared a personal story about their son being shot at while in Iraq, where God invited them to live in the present moment and assured them of their presence if the worst happened, encouraging Kristen to trust that God will be with them through their challenges (00:28:53).

    The Process of Undoing and Developing Trust Jevon Perra referred to the stages of trust development as the "period of undoing," where things that were always meaningless, such as material things, identity, and security, are removed from one's life (00:20:44). Kristen acknowledged the difficulty of trusting the process, especially when taking time off, noting that confronting the ego is uncomfortable (00:24:37). Jevon Perra recommended that Kristen look into a detox with a holistic practitioner in Mission Viejo to get the radiation out of their system more quickly (00:25:49).

    Ego Awareness and Practical Tools Jevon Perra emphasized that willingness to change directions and be governed by the Holy Spirit is the only requirement for moving from fear to trust (00:32:20). They also highlighted that awareness of the ego's predictable patterns and strategies is 80% of the work toward awakening and suggested using the Enneagram, which profiles the ego, to learn about its fixations and core beliefs (00:34:22). Jevon Perra concluded by offering to text Kristen contact information for the holistic practitioner and links for the Enneagram test, suggesting a future discussion about their results (00:37:19).
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    39 mins
  • Outcome Attachments & Meaning Machines #acim

    Outcome Attachments & Meaning Machines #acim
    Dec 19 2025
    Discussion on Perception and Love Leila Fung shared a revelation from a previous text about realizing that they and Jared were viewing situations through a lens of annoyance or upset, though Leila Fung had "no anger" toward Jevon Perra’s family. Jevon Perra noted the many layers of perception where individuals make things as they think they are, leading to stress and anger. Leila Fung stated they were hoping to be authentically loving, with everything that comes out of them being love.Jevon Perra's Business Transition and Marketing Challenges Jevon Perra discussed their slow transition in a new business venture due to not being able to use mass marketing for bridge loans because of new website and email. They explained that mass marketing with a new email address can lead to being flagged as spam, necessitating manual texting, calling, and one-by-one emailing. Jevon Perra also mentioned being careful about communication to manage industry gossip that might get back to "Bob" to maintain a good working relationship.Focus on Shared Interests and Reducing Suffering Leila Fung shared that their focus while reading and learning would be repairing their relationship with their sister-in-law by viewing everything through a "mutual shared interest" lens. Soo Kim related to this, noting that at month-end, they perceive anyone taking them away from their production list as an "enemy" (00:06:12). Jevon Perra discussed that the function of teachers of God is to save time, and this time saving comes from letting go of attachments and allowing a non-dual perception of forgiveness which saves "thousands of years of suffering" (00:08:39).The Role of the Teacher of God The group began reading Chapter 1 of the Manual for Teachers, titled "Who are God's teachers?". Soo Kim read that a teacher of God is anyone who chooses to be one and whose only qualification is that they have chosen to not see their interests as apart from someone else's (00:02:36). Jevon Perra clarified that the language used in the text is masculine due to the original template, but the concepts are general, emphasizing that seeing interests as the same is a characteristic of the teacher (00:03:41).The Universal Course and Salvation Soo Kim continued reading, noting that teachers of God come from all over the world and religions and that their function is to save time, with each one saving "a thousand years of time" (00:07:33). They read that the central theme of the universal course is that "God's son is guiltless and in his innocence in is his salvation" (00:11:26). Jevon Perra reiterated that seeing others as guiltless makes the perceiver feel free because their perception of the other is their experience of life, which is supported by the example of people being overly friendly to them when they walk around with a puppy (00:12:46).Shift in Perspective with Brokers Jevon Perra shared a personal story about changing their negative perception and resistance toward constant phone calls from brokers after realizing the brokers were calling because they had the wrong, old email address (00:16:19). Jevon Perra explained that answering the calls led to enjoyable conversations and resulted in making deals that wouldn't have happened otherwise because the inexperienced brokers would not have known how to email the correct information (00:17:13). Jevon Perra connected this to the concept of guiltlessness and common interest, stating, "We both want to close loans" (00:18:05).Interrupting Attachments and Control Soo Kim expressed difficulty applying Jevon Perra's experience to their own situation, where interruptions from loan officers felt like an attack, particularly because interruptions lead to missed details in their job. Jevon Perra highlighted that the suffering comes from the attachment to getting things done, not the task itself, and that one can decline calls without resistance and judgment (00:19:58). Soo Kim admitted that their attitude of preventing interruptions might be an "illusion of control" (00:22:22).Leila Fung's Relational Striving and Projection Leila Fung brought up Jared, their partner, taking responsibility for family issues, allowing them to let go of control, and considered whether this meeting could help him (00:23:33). Leila Fung then discussed their struggle with striving for a relationship with their sister-in-law, who exhibits lack of communication and effort, particularly regarding a Christmas breakfast (00:27:13). Leila Fung stated they feel hurt and unprioritized due to their sister-in-law's actions, contrasting it with the effort Leila Fung feels they put in (00:30:52).Discussion on Meaning and Resistance Jevon Perra responded to Leila Fung by explaining that the suffering comes from the meaning they are putting on the situation, not the situation itself, which is neutral (00:29:36) (00:35:14). Leila Fung identified their core meaning as, "I understand. She's not prioritizing me is the story that I'm telling myself and ...
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    49 mins
  • Ego Listening Is What Hurts - ACIM

    Ego Listening Is What Hurts - ACIM
    Dec 15 2025

    Ego Listening Is What Hurts - #ACIM
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    56 mins