Ever wonder why you can’t start a task until the last minute? Entrepreneur and ADHD advocate Colin McIntosh discovered that instead of waiting for motivation to magically appear, he creates artificial urgency — using earlier deadlines to trigger his brain into action before panic takes over. In this episode, we explore why this simple strategy works so well for ADHD and how you can use it yourself.

Key Points:

• Why the ADHD brain often needs urgency to get started.
• Colin McIntosh's strategy of creating artificial deadlines.
• Practical ways to build urgency into everyday life.
• How artificial urgency helps overcome time blindness and procrastination.
• Designing your environment to work with your ADHD brain.

COLIN MCINTOSH S2E12: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e12-building-empires-leaning-into-adhd-strengths-guest-colin-mcintosh/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/artificial-urgency/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Drawing on my conversation with psychotherapist Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero, this episode explores why so many adults with ADHD carry an inner critic that didn't originate with them. It introduces the concept of "legacy burdens" — negative beliefs inherited through years of criticism, comparison, and misunderstanding — and shares practical strategies to separate your true identity from those old messages and begin replacing them with a kinder, more balanced view of yourself.

Key Points:

• Why adults with ADHD often internalise negative childhood messages.
• What psychotherapist Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero calls "legacy burdens."
• How criticism from parents, teachers, peers, and society becomes an inner voice.
• The connection between inherited beliefs, shame, people-pleasing, and rejection sensitivity.
• Recognising when your emotional response belongs to the past rather than the present.
• Practical strategies to challenge inherited beliefs:
• Why therapies such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR can help reframe long-held beliefs.

KAREN DWYER-TESORIERO S2E44: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e44-adhd-trauma-reclaiming-self-trust-guest-karen-dwyer-tesoriero/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/legacy-isnt-your-identity/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

A diagnosis can bring enormous relief by explaining years of confusion, but it is most helpful when it becomes a tool for understanding rather than a label that defines identity.

Drawing on insights from ADHD coach Carol Siege, this episode explores the strategy of using a diagnosis as a compass — providing direction, self-awareness, and practical support while leaving room for growth, strengths, and possibility.

Key Points

• A diagnosis is information, not your identity.
• Understanding yourself matters more than the label.
• Focus on supports, strategies, and practical action.
• Recognise strengths as well as challenges.
• A diagnosis explains your starting point, not your potential.
• Rewrite limiting beliefs with new understanding.
• Flexible identities encourage growth and wellbeing.

CAROL SIEGE S2E18: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e18-adhd-parenting-harmony-in-the-home-guest-carol-siege/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/dont-get-stuck-on-the-label/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

ADHDers often approach self-improvement by attempting complete life overhauls, but lasting change is more likely when small positive behaviours are attached to routines that already exist.

Drawing on insights from psychologist Matthew Campbell, this episode explores the strategy of "stacking" — connecting healthy actions to established habits so they require less motivation, less memory, and less effort to maintain.

Key Points

• Large-scale overhauls tend to rely heavily on motivation, which is difficult to sustain for ADHD brains.
• Stacking involves attaching a small healthy behaviour to an existing routine. The goal is attachment, not addition.
• Existing routines act as reliable cues, reducing the need to remember new habits.
• Research shows habits are more likely to stick when linked to existing behavioural cues.
• Stacking reduces cognitive load and supports executive functioning challenges.

DR MATT CAMPBELL S2E41: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e41-why-self-care-feels-harder-than-it-should-guest-dr-matthew-campbell/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/stack-dont-overhaul/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg explores one of the most powerful relationship frameworks ever developed: The Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse. Originally created by relationship researchers Drs. John and Julie Gottman, these four communication patterns can quietly erode connection and, if left unchecked, predict relationship breakdown.

Drawing on insights from clinical psychologist and ADHD-specialised couples therapist Bryan Gastelle, Julie unpacks how criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling show up in ADHD relationships, why they happen, and most importantly, what to do instead.

Whether you're navigating a long-term partnership, dating, or simply wanting healthier communication, this practical strategy offers simple shifts that can transform conflict into connection.

Key Points From This Episode

• What the Four Horsemen are and why they matter
• How ADHD can amplify relationship conflict
• Why criticism attacks the person instead of the problem
• How defensiveness blocks repair and understanding
• Why contempt is the strongest predictor of relationship breakdown
• The hidden role of overwhelm behind stonewalling
• How to recognise unhealthy communication patterns before they escalate
• Why conflict itself isn't the problem, disconnection is

BRYAN GASTELLE S2E28: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e28-adhd-romantic-relationships-healthy-conflict-guest-bryan-gastelle/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/the-four-horsemen/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg explores the relationship between ADHD, dopamine, and digital overwhelm — and why our brains can become so easily pulled into scrolling, notifications, and constant stimulation.

Rather than framing phone use as laziness or lack of discipline, this episode reframes it through the lens of dopamine seeking, emotional regulation, and ADHD tax. It also offers gentle, practical strategies to reduce digital overload, create more intentional habits, and minimise the hidden emotional and cognitive costs that come with constant distraction.

Key Points from the Episode:

• Why ADHD brains are naturally drawn to phones and scrolling
• The role of dopamine in digital distraction
• How phones create quick dopamine spikes — and crashes
• Why social media and notifications can feel impossible to ignore
• The “ADHD tax” of lost time, focus, and mental energy
• Cognitive overload and task-switching fatigue
• Recognising your personal distraction patterns
• Strategies to reduce phone-based overwhelm
• Creating intentional friction with devices
• Why awareness is the first step toward change

HUFSA AHMAD S2E27: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e27-adhd-undiagnoses-comorbidities-high-achievers-guest-hufsa-ahmad/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/social-media-detox/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg explores the idea of “Lean In” — a perspective shared by Dr. Jack Hinman that reframes anxiety not as something dangerous, but as something deeply human. Rather than escaping discomfort, this strategy encourages us to gently move toward connection, growth, and co-regulation.

Backed by research into emotional regulation and nervous system responses in ADHD, this episode explores why avoidance can intensify anxiety over time, while safe human connection can calm the nervous system and build emotional resilience.

Key Points from the Episode:

• Why ADHD brains often experience intense emotional reactions
• The instinct to avoid, isolate, or “ghost” when anxious
• Reframing anxiety as part of growth — not failure
• Why avoidance feels good short term but limits growth long term
• The importance of leaning into safe connection
• How anxiety can reveal values, desires, and boundaries
• Emotional regulation challenges in ADHD
• The nervous system benefits of co-regulation
• Why human connection reduces stress and overwhelm
• Learning social cues through real-life interaction
• Small “micro moves” that build emotional tolerance
• Choosing presence over perfection

DR JACK HINMAN S2E34: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e34-young-adults-adhd-the-pandemic-of-disconnection-guest-dr-jack-hinman/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/lean-in-dont-escape/

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🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg explores The Greater Arc Perspective — a grounding mindset inspired by a conversation with Ariel-Paul Saunders. Rather than viewing ourselves in isolation, this perspective invites us to zoom out and recognise that we are part of something much larger: generations before us, generations after us, and the unfolding human story we all contribute to.

For ADHDers, where emotions and urgency can feel intensely immediate, this wider lens can soften self-judgment and interrupt survival-mode thinking. Backed by insights from developmental neuroscience, attachment theory, and intergenerational research, this episode explores how awareness, reflection, and repair don’t just change us — they ripple outward.

Key Points from the Episode:

• Why ADHD can make life feel intensely immediate and overwhelming
• How emotional overload narrows perspective into survival mode
• Introducing The Greater Arc Perspective
• Zooming out beyond the current moment or emotional state
• The influence of generations before and after us
• How emotional patterns are passed through families and relationships
• Why awareness and repair can interrupt unhealthy cycles
• The brain’s lifelong ability to grow and adapt
• Shifting from self-judgment to participation
• Asking: “What am I passing forward?”
• Why future generations need humanity, not perfection
• The ripple effect of self-talk, repair, and emotional awareness

ARIEL-PAUL SAUNDERS S2E40: https://adhdifference.nz/s2e40-adhd-across-generations-the-power-of-understanding-guest-ariel-paul-saunders/

ADHDIFFERENCE: https://adhdifference.nz/the-greater-arc-perspective/

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🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz
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▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More