Parenting a child who melts down over homework or seemingly simple tasks can feel overwhelming and exhausting. You’re not imagining it—the frustration, tears, and chaos aren’t bad behavior. It’s a dysregulated brain struggling to access its control center.

In this episode, let me explain why dysregulated kids can’t use their executive function, what that means for daily life, and practical strategies to help your child regain focus, complete tasks, and strengthen their executive functioning skills.

Why does my child melt down after school?

Many parents notice that after a long day, their child becomes irritable or shuts down at homework time. This isn’t defiance—it’s a dysregulated brain that’s gone offline.

When stress builds, it hijacks the prefrontal cortex, the control center for planning, organization, and impulse control. Your child simply can’t access their executive functions or working memory until their nervous system settles.

What’s happening:

• Stress or sensory overload disrupts brain functions.
• Transitions and overstimulation lead to poor executive functioning—especially in kids with ADHD or anxiety.
• Their brain shifts from learning to survival mode.

What helps:

• Co-regulate first. Your calm presence signals safety.
• Once calm, executive functioning skills like focus, planning, and task completion return.

Let’s calm the brain first—because that’s when real learning begins.

Download the Executive Functioning Toolkit — packed with science-backed strategies you can start using today to reduce stress and improve focus.

How can I help my child focus when they can’t control their emotions?

When emotions flood in, logic and problem-solving shut down. This is common in children with ADHD, learning disabilities, or high emotional sensitivity.

• Regulate first: Deep breaths, movement, or sensory grounding can reset the brain.
• Break tasks into small, manageable steps to avoid overwhelming a child with poor executive functioning.
• Use internal self-talk modeling: Narrate your planning out loud to teach cognitive strategies like task initiation and sustained attention.

🗣️ “Once calm, your child’s executive functioning skills—like focus, organization, and problem solving—can finally do their job.” –Dr. Roseann

When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.

The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.

What are executive functioning skills, and why do they matter?

Executive functioning skills are the brain’s Job Manager: planning, prioritizing, organizing, controlling impulses, and problem-solving. Without them, even typically developing children can struggle.

• Start with the end in mind: Visualizing outcomes improves planning and cognitive flexibility.
• Teach one skill at a time, e.g., starting a task, organizing materials, or remembering steps.
• Recognize that strengths and weaknesses vary: A child may excel at baseball stats or...

Parenting a child who’s struggling with mysterious symptoms can be frightening and exhausting. You bring them to the doctor, the tests come back “normal,” and yet you know something isn’t right. You’re not imagining it—it’s real, and you’re not alone.

In this episode, Dr. Bill Rawls explains why Lyme disease testing often misses active infections, what it means for your child, and practical steps parents can take to advocate for accurate diagnosis and care.

Why does my child keep testing negative for Lyme disease even when symptoms persist?

• False negatives are common: Many Lyme disease tests, like the ELISA (enzyme linked immunoassay) or Western blot, rely on antibodies that may not appear early or consistently.
• Early infection can be invisible: During the initial infection or early Lyme disease, the immune system may not have produced enough detectable antibodies for serologic testing.
• Co-infections complicate results: Other tick-borne illnesses can mask or mimic Lyme disease symptoms, making accurate diagnosis even harder.
• Persistent or chronic infections: Sometimes, persistent infection or chronic Lyme can continue even after a negative test. Clinical findings, medical history, and physical examination help guide your provider toward the right diagnosis of Lyme disease.

It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated system of testing, not a failure of your vigilance.

Even when bloodwork looks clear, your child may still have an active infection. Understanding test limitations helps reduce frustration and empowers you to take action.

How can I tell if Lyme disease is being missed in my child?

• Watch for persistent, nonspecific symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, headaches, or cognitive changes can appear long before tests turn positive.
• Consider medical history and exposure: Tick bites, outdoor activities, or living in endemic areas provide important clues.
• Use clinical judgment alongside lab tests: A single blood test rarely tells the full story; doctors often need multiple tests and examinations.

You don’t have to wait for a positive blood test to validate your child’s suffering.

Ready to help your child calm down quickly and regain control? Start using Quick Calm today and discover simple, science-backed strategies to regulate their nervous system.

What are the limitations of standard Lyme disease testing?

• ELISA and Western blot tests measure antibodies, not bacteria directly: If your child’s immune system hasn’t produced detectable antibodies, the test can look clear.
• False positives and delayed diagnosis are common: Inaccurate results can delay treatment, allowing Lyme bacteria to persist and cause chronic symptoms.
• Tests vary in performance: Different labs, methods, and timing of testing affect results.

Let’s calm the brain first—then focus on gathering the right information without panic.

Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in.

Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today.

What should parents do if Lyme disease tests come back negative?

• Keep a detailed symptom log: Track fatigue, joint pain, rashes, and cognitive...

Have you ever noticed that the more you explain, the more your child melts down? Parenting a child who reacts this way can leave you exhausted, frustrated, and worried. You try to reason, but instead of calming down, your child gets even more upset.

In this episode, I’ll share why talking often backfires when kids are upset, and how your calm presence, body language, and deep breaths can help your child regulate without words. You’ll discover the brain science behind co-regulation and walk away with simple, practical strategies you can use in the moment to help your child feel safe.

Why does talking make my child more upset instead of calming them?

When kids are dysregulated, their brain shifts into fight, flight, or freeze. Logic and language shut down, and many parents notice that their words actually feel overwhelming instead of calming.

• More words = more stimulation → which leads to bigger emotions.
• A calm body speaks louder than lectures.
• Behavior is communication, not defiance.

🗣️ “In the heat of the moment, silence and co-regulation calm the brain faster than explanations.” – Dr. Roseann

What can I do in the moment when my child is losing control?

Instead of talking, use your body language and presence to signal safety. This is what helps many kids settle down.

• Take a deep breath before you respond. Ask yourself: Am I regulated enough to help my child right now?
• Soften your body → drop your shoulders, relax your arms, loosen your jaw.
• Stay at their level → for toddlers, sit on the floor; for older kids, sit nearby. Don’t loom over them.
• Eye contact is optional → for some children, less is more.

Your calm cues reduce cortisol and show your child they are safe.

When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.

The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.

How do I calm my child without words?

Co-regulation works through silent strategies that their nervous system picks up instantly.

• Use rhythmic cues → slow breathing, gentle rocking, or humming. A predictable rhythm helps kids reset.
• Offer safe touch if welcomed → a hug, a hand on the shoulder, or letting them crawl into your lap.
• Stay present, not pressuring → don’t force them to talk or “explain” while upset.

Kids can borrow your calm until they find their own.

When your child is stuck in dysregulation, more effort isn’t the answer—a reset is. Quick CALM shows you how to calm the brain first with science-backed tools that get real results.

Can my calm really teach my child self-regulation?

Yes—science backs this up. Mirror neurons mean kids sync with your state, not your words. Over time, they learn to regulate by practicing alongside you.

• Your calm presence is the model → kids copy what they see and feel.
• Safety cues build connection → when a child feels safe, their brain learns new ways to manage emotions.
• Consistency matters → the more you practice, the more your child’s brain wires for regulation.

Staying calm is not just about this moment—it’s...

Co-regulation is one of the most powerful tools we have to help children learn how to manage emotions, but many parents wonder: Am I even doing it right? When your own emotions feel overwhelming and your child’s emotions are spilling over, it can be hard to know if what you’re doing is helping.

In this episode, I break down the signs you’re co-regulating effectively—and the red flags that mean you’re missing the mark. By the end, you’ll know how to create more emotional safety for your child, model healthy coping strategies, and begin to calm the brain first so that both self regulation and connection grow stronger, even in moments of emotional dysregulation.

How do I know if co-regulation is actually working?

When you’re practicing co-regulation, look for these green lights:

• You pause before reacting—even if you’re still triggered inside. That moment of not reacting right away wires calm into your nervous system and models it for your child.
• Your child returns to baseline faster. Meltdowns don’t magically disappear, but recovery time shortens when your child feels emotional support.
• You’re less reactive and more present. Instead of personalizing your child’s behavior, you can stay grounded and focus on connection.

These are powerful signs you’re co-regulating right, even if the journey is messy. Remember: behavior is communication, not misbehavior.

Why does my child stay upset for so long?

Parents often worry: Why can’t my child just “get over it”? The truth is, dysregulated kids get stuck in stress responses.

When co-regulation is working, you’ll notice:

• Less escalation over time—strong emotions are still there, but the intensity fades faster.
• More trust and closeness after difficult moments. Your child feels safe knowing you didn’t “hold it against them.”
• Children begin to use their own words and tools. Over time, kids copy what you model: deep breathing, naming feelings, and even humor.

Emotional regulation isn’t instant. It’s about progress, not perfection.

Am I making mistakes with co-regulation?

Yes—every parent does. The key is knowing what might get in the way:

• Performing calm instead of being calm. If you’re smiling on the outside but resentful or tense inside, kids feel it in your body language, tone, and facial expressions.
• Rushing to fix emotions. Instead of shutting down your child’s big feelings, ride the wave with them. That’s how children learn self-regulation skills and trust that emotions aren’t life-threatening.

If irritation or anger doesn’t ease over time, it may be a sign to get extra support for your own stress responses.

Yelling less and staying calm isn’t about being perfect—it’s about having the right tools.

Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it.

Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletter

What helps me co-regulate more effectively?

Parents can build co-regulation strategies into daily life by checking in with their own emotional states first. Try:

• Slow, deep breathing before approaching your child.
• Body scans—ask yourself, Where am I tense? Can I soften this?
• Eye contact and active listening to show emotional support.
• Repair after tough moments—apologies and reconnection are powerful tools for healthy...

Parenting a child who doesn’t respond to sticker charts, time-outs, or threats can feel defeating. You’ve tried rewards, consequences, and everything in between—and still the meltdowns, backtalk, and battles keep happening. You’re not alone.

In this episode, I explain why rewards and consequences don’t land for dysregulated kids and what you can do instead. You’ll learn the brain science behind why your child can’t connect actions to outcomes in meltdown mode, plus practical strategies to shift from frustration to regulation.

Why don’t rewards and consequences work for my child?

Many parents wonder why their child’s behavior doesn’t change despite sticker charts, time out, or taking away toys. The truth is:

• A dysregulated brain can’t learn. When kids are in survival mode, their emotional brain takes over and logic shuts down.
• Rewards only stick when the brain is calm. Extrinsic rewards like tangible rewards or material rewards can’t replace intrinsic motivation.
• Consequences may backfire. Punishment often increases frustration, lowers a child’s self-esteem, and damages connection.

It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. Let’s calm the brain first so your child can actually absorb lessons and develop lasting skills.

How do I respond when my child’s behavior feels out of control?

When your child’s actions push every button you have, it’s tempting to react with harsher discipline. But behavior is communication, and what looks like “bad behavior” is often a stress response.

Here’s what helps instead:

• Pause before reacting. Ask yourself: “Is my child regulated enough for this to land?”
• Co-regulate first. A calm presence, gentle tone, and predictable routines teach safe and appropriate behavior more than threats ever will.
• Connection before correction. When your child feels seen and safe, they’re far more likely to return to positive behaviors.

This shift helps your child learn that they’re not a “bad kid,” but a person developing the ability to manage emotions and actions.

Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in.

Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today.

What can I do to actually teach my child positive behaviors?

Kids don’t learn self-control through punishment—they learn through practice in everyday life when they’re calm.

• Model regulation. Show how adults handle frustration with empathy and consistency.
• Teach in calm moments. Coping skills, flexibility, and problem-solving only stick when your child is regulated.
• Use natural consequences. These are more effective than arbitrary punishments because they’re tied to specific behaviors.

For example, if your child forgets homework, the natural consequence is explaining to their teacher—not losing screen time.

• Encourage effort, not just results. Praise hard work, practice, and small successes to build a child’s self-esteem and intrinsic motivation.

Remember, positive reinforcement doesn’t mean bribery—it means helping your child connect actions to outcomes in a way that builds confidence and responsibility.

Want real tools that actually work in the heat of a meltdown? Inside

When a child feels overwhelmed, their autonomic nervous system kicks into a stress response. Logic shuts down, emotional regulation goes offline, and no punishment in the world can teach better behavior in that moment.

That’s why we have to calm the brain first. When we do, co-regulation creates emotional resilience, nurtures healthy relationships, and supports lasting nervous system regulation—for our kids and for us.

In this episode, I share why nervous system co-regulation beats consequences every time and how you can begin using simple, practical strategies to help your child move from survival mode into a calmer, more regulated state.

Why don’t consequences work when my child is dysregulated?

When kids are in meltdown mode, their autonomic nervous system is in fight-flight-freeze. Logic and reasoning are shut down.

• Punishment adds shame and fear—which makes behavior worse, not better.
• A stressed brain can’t learn. The sympathetic nervous system is in survival mode.
• Regulation must come before correction. Calm brains are the only brains that can take feedback.

Behavior is communication. If your child is screaming, throwing things, or shutting down, it’s their nervous system saying, “I feel unsafe.”

How can I calm my child’s brain when they’re overwhelmed?

Co-regulation begins with your nervous system. You can’t expect a child to self-regulate if you’re dysregulated too.

• Anchor yourself first: use deep breaths, a soft tone, or grounding mantras.
• Offer presence over words. Sometimes just eye contact, gentle rhythm, or physical closeness (like deep pressure hugs) communicates safety.
• Avoid escalating threats. Instead of, “You’re losing your tablet all week,” try, “I see you’re overwhelmed. Let’s breathe together.”
• Use environmental signals. Soft voice, calm body language, and steady breathing send cues of safety to your child’s nervous system.

Co-regulating teaches children over time that they can move from dysregulation to calm with supportive relationships.

Want a calmer home in just one week? Try Quick Calm—your 7-day reset designed to help busy parents raise a more regulated child.

What does nervous system co-regulation look like in real life?

Parents often ask, “But what do I do when the meltdown starts?” Here’s what it looks like in daily life:

• Less talking, more being. Put down the lecture until your child reaches a regulated state.
• Mirror calm. Your facial expressions and body language send powerful signals through mirror neurons.
• Stay nearby. Instead of sending your child away (“Go calm down in your room”), model calm by staying present.
• Shift from red to yellow to green. Once they move out of the red zone of survival mode, you can use words to guide them back to balance.

These small but profound effects build emotional connection and nurturing relationships—the foundation for healthy child development.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit: How to Stay Calm When Your Child Pushes Your Buttons and Stop Oppositional Behaviors.

Head to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and start your calm parenting journey today.

How can co-regulation help me as a...

Leaving the house, turning off the tablet, starting homework—why does something so small spark such big meltdowns? If you’re exhausted from what feels like Groundhog’s Day every morning, afternoon, and bedtime, you’re not alone.

Here’s the truth: it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. And once you understand the real reason transitions are so hard for your child, you can begin shifting from constant battles to calmer, smoother days.

In this episode, I explain the brain science behind transition struggles, why many children fight tooth and nail against even non-preferred activities, and practical steps you can use to make transitions easier at home, school, or even heading to dance class.

Why does my child melt down during transition time?

Many parents are shocked by how strongly their kids react when asked to switch from one activity to another. But the root cause isn’t stubbornness—it’s biology.

During transition time, the brain has to “shift gears.” For a dysregulated child, this is exhausting and overwhelming.

• The brain’s CEO (prefrontal cortex) goes offline under stress, making switching tasks harder.
• Kids with ADHD, anxiety, or sensory sensitivities struggle more because flexibility takes extra energy.
• Triggers like hunger, fatigue, and sensory overload often go unnoticed but make transitions harder.

Behavior is communication. When your child melts down at the moment of change, they’re really saying, “This is too much for me right now.”

What are the hidden triggers that make transitions harder?

One mom reported that mornings before school felt like a war zone. Her son ended up in tears on the floor while the family scrambled to get him out the door. Sound familiar?

Here are the triggers many parents miss:

• Unpredictable routines – Sudden schedule shifts cause anxiety.
• Demands that feel rushed or critical – Even a few minutes earlier than expected can trigger stress.
• Overstimulation from screens – Coming off the computer or tablet without a reset makes kids crash.
• Emotional load – Stress at home (like divorce or conflict) amplifies reactivity.

Think of yourself as a dysregulation detective. Instead of asking, “Why won’t they just listen?” ask, “What’s the root cause of this reaction?”

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…

Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment.

Become an Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and take the first step to a calmer home.

How can I make transitions easier for my child?

Good news: with a few practical steps, you can shift from chaos to calm. These small adjustments work whether it’s bedtime, leaving the house, or starting a non-preferred activity like homework.

• Preview and prepare – Give 5-minute warnings with visual timers. Kids need predictability.
• Co-regulate first – Let’s calm the brain first. Sit together, breathe, squeeze a hand, or offer water. Your calmness teaches their nervous system safety.
• Build in micro resets – A stretch, a sip of water, or movement helps kids reset between activities.
• Offer limited choices – “Do you want to walk or skip to the car?” reduces resistance while giving healthy control.
• Practice when calm – Rehearse routines during low-stress moments. Like a learning curve in gymnastics class, repetition builds new brain...

Some days it feels like your child’s big emotions are just too much—and your own stress boils over too. You’re not failing as a parent. What’s happening is called co-dysregulation—two nervous systems stuck in survival mode together.

This episode matters because when kids struggle to regulate emotions, they rely on your calming presence to learn how to do it. When you practice co-regulation parenting, you’re not just stopping meltdowns—you’re teaching your child lifelong emotional skills for resilience and self regulation.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What co regulation really means (and what it isn’t)
• Why kids mirror your nervous system—even without words
• Practical ways to pause, reset, and co regulate in difficult moments

Why does my child’s meltdown make me lose it too?

When your child is in distress, your nervous system naturally reacts. This can feel overwhelming, especially if you weren’t modeled healthy emotional regulation growing up.

• It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. Your child’s cues trigger your own stress responses.
• Mirror neurons mean your child learns to regulate emotions by watching you.
• Chronic stress, fatigue, and past trauma can intensify your reaction.

Staying calm doesn’t come naturally—it’s a skill you practice over time, not perfection.

When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.

The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.

How can I stay calm when my child has big emotions?

Your child learns best when you co-regulate in the moment. Instead of reacting, you anchor their storm with your calm.

• Pause before reacting. Take a deep breath, unclench your jaw, soften your facial expressions.
• Name what’s happening. Try phrases like, “I see you’re having a hard time. I’m here for you.”
• Offer gentle structure. Calm tone, clear expectations, and consistent limits help children feel safe.
• Practice self care. You can’t be a calming presence if you’re running on empty.

Parent Tip: Kids don’t just “catch” calm—they learn it through your regulated presence.

Want proven tools to stop meltdowns before they spiral? Quick Calm gives you step-by-step strategies to help your child reset their brain and bring calm back into your home.

What are examples of co-regulation strategies I can use today?

Co-regulation parenting isn’t about rescuing or fixing—it’s about providing structure and emotional support during tough moments.

• Slow breathing together. Invite your child to take deep breaths with you.
• Grounding through touch. A gentle touch or steady eye contact signals safety.
• Model naming emotions. Say, “I feel frustrated, so I’m taking a deep breath.”
• Practice in calm times. Just like athletes train before the big game, kids benefit from practicing coping strategies when things are calm.

Remember: A supportive environment helps children develop new skills for handling intense emotions.

What if my child never seems to calm down?

When children stay stuck in dysregulation, it can feel hopeless. But research suggests that consistent co-regulation...