Dark Humour Horror

As the Patron’s noose tightens down around the House of Graves, Tessa finds herself seeking the aid of Thomas Jury, a witch who’s powerful beyond measure and just as dangerous. But even with Jury’s so called 'help', will the Patron’s power prove too much for Tessa to withstand?

Ishmael Jones and his partner Penny have been despatched to assist a group of scientists who are investigating a mysterious black hole which has appeared on a Somerset hillside. Could it really be a doorway to another dimension, an opening into another world? When one of the scientists disappears into the hole - with fatal consequences - Ishmael must prove whether it was an accident - or murder. But with no clues, no witnesses, and no apparent motive, he has little to go on. Is there an alien predator at large, or is an all-too-human killer responsible?

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

This manual provides a review of the tactical combat advantages enjoyed by zombies and gives the listener a step-by-step guide to adopting them for him or herself. Have you wondered where the great military leaders of modern history have found their collective inspirations? Well look no further. It is the walking dead upon whom the most important tactical infantry innovations of the last three hundred years have been based.

When horror writer Nick Steen gets sucked into a cursed typewriter by the terrifying Type-Face, Dark Lord of the Prolix, the hellish visions inside his head are unleashed for real. Forced to fight his escaping imagination - now leaking out of his own brain - Nick must defend the town of Stalkford from his own fictional horrors, including avascular-necrosis-obsessed serial killer Nelson Strain and Nick's dreaded throppleganger, the Dark Third.

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: 23 of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter, sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined "Writers' Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months", and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of "real life" that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them.

From the rubble-strewn streets of US-occupied Baghdad, the scavenger Hadi collects human body parts and stitches them together to create a corpse. His goal, he claims, is for the government to recognise the parts as people and give them a proper burial. But when the corpse goes missing, a wave of eerie murders sweeps the city, and reports stream in of a horrendous-looking criminal who, though shot, cannot be killed. Hadi soon realises he has created a monster: one that needs human flesh to survive - first from the guilty, and then from anyone who crosses its path.

Lydia is hungry. She's always wanted to try sashimi, ramen, onigiri with sour plum stuffed inside—the food her Japanese father liked to eat. And then there is bubble tea and the vegetables grown by the other young artists at the London studio space she is secretly squatting in. But Lydia can't eat any of this. The only thing she can digest is blood, and it turns out that sourcing fresh pigs' blood in London—where she is living away from her vampire mother for the first time—is much more difficult than she'd anticipated.

Samuel thought he had escaped his nightmares, but the horror has only just begun. Trapped in a shifting labyrinth where reality bends and the mind fractures, he must face his own twisted reflection, supernatural entities, and a relentless force lurking in the dark. With every step forward, he questions his own sanity—what is real, and what is a nightmare that refuses to end?

Alex Cole will do anything for money. Murder? Check. Assault? Check. Infanticide? Check. Sexual favors? Double-check. But after getting himself roped into something called Kuman Thong - including its roasted human fetuses - Cole is left fighting unfathomable phenomena beyond his comprehension and rather unexpectedly trying save the world. All for a lousy paycheck.

Dustin Graves has three days to live. The darkling mage has found himself in the company of scoundrels. Maybe that’s what Dustin deserves: a werewolf, a vampire, and a talking sword for teammates, and a rogue sorcerer as his mentor and master. But a doomsday cult has surfaced. Twelve mutilated bodies are found drowned in blood and in wine. The massacre stinks of both the divine and the supernatural. Worst of all, an ancient god sends Dust on a lethal mission, one he must complete in three days. The reward? He gets to live. Well...maybe.

This is not your ordinary fall weekend in Charlotte, North Carolina. Vampire private detectives Jimmy Black and Greg Knightwood have been hired to save a client from being cursed for all eternity, but end up in a bigger mess than they ever imagined. Suddenly trapped in the middle of a serial kidnapping case, Jimmy and Greg uncover a plot to bring forth an ancient evil. Soon, they've enlisted the help of a police detective, a priest, a witch, a fallen angel, and a strip club proprietor to save the world.

Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.

While Mr. and Mrs. Wastefeld are on vacation in San Francisco, identical twins Jessica and Elizabeth and their brother Steven are dismayed to learn that they’ll be left with a babysitter yet again. Only this time, she’s young, pretty—and a witch! The Wastefeld kids soon discover that this is no ordinary babysitter. Piper Quintin is not only evil, she’s out to get them. How will they survive the wrath of a teenage girl with supernatural powers?

Road Kills is a collection of short tales of dark comic horror from the mind of Isaac Thorne. These stories are all connected to travel, to the road. After all, it is always lurking there, quiet and dark, just waiting for you to come out for a drive or a walk or a jog.

After her mother dies, a teenage girl witnesses her father’s dangerous descent into madness.

Frankie Gallows has spent seven years paying his dues on the stand-up comedy circuit with only limited success, but when he finally lands a headline slot at London’s legendary King Alfred’s Theatre, the opportunity comes with a sinister catch: perform a joke handed to him by the theatre manager—or risk everything.

A priest, a rock star, and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse walk into New York City… and then Armageddon really begins. In this gripping conclusion of the Mall Priest series, Christmas becomes a battleground once again, and the line between salvation and damnation blurs. Will Sam and his friends defeat the forces of Armageddon for good, or is the fate of humanity sealed?

Surviving a zombie apocalypse is no laughing matter. You need the right guns, the right gear, and the right people to survive. Unfortunately, the customers of the zombie apocalypse call center don’t have the right guns, the right gear, or the right people supporting them. Now the world has gone mad and zombies are everywhere. Can the customers survive the zombies that are now taking over the world? Can they survive the cutthroat survivalists who are on the hunt for more supplies and guns? Can they trust each other enough to live another day?