Showing results by author "Andy" in All Categories

Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.

Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.

Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.

Is this the right book for you? Take the Crazy Test and find out. Do you bounce so high on your bed that you hit your head on the ceiling? Do you ever look in the mirror and see a crazy maniac staring back at you? Do you like to read stories about kittens, puppies and ponies getting mashed and pulverised? Do you sometimes get the urge to take your clothes off and cover yourself in mud? Do you often waste your time on tests like this one?

Brought to you by Penguin. Top Gear turned gloomy Sunday nights into celebratory Friday nights. It made household names of presenters Clarkson, Hammond and May, their unique chemistry and buddy movie antics proving irresistible to a vast global audience. With these three at the helm, Top Gear...

Andy and Danny boldly go where sensible people fear to tread. Just how stupid can two human beings be? Just Stupid! provides the answer to this vexing and important question. Winner of AudioFile's Earphones Award - 2005.

Welcome to Hell—where nobody can ever quite catch the barman's eye. In this collection, which contains all seven series of Old Harry's Game, get ready for some wicked one-liners and scorching satire. Satan is fed up after a millennia in charge of Hell, especially given the prospect of an eternity still running the damned place. Although he does enjoy playing pranks on the world of the living and devising wry torments for the souls in his keeping, he often wistfully recalls his past as an archangel.

Kullen is the emperor’s assassin. The sharp hand of justice. The Black Talon. Gifted a soul-forged bond with his dragon, Umbris, Kullen is tasked with hunting any and all who oppose the empire. But when the secretive Crimson Fang murders two noblemen before his very eyes, Kullen must discover the truth of who they are and what they want. What he uncovers is a web of lies and deceit spiraling into the depths of Dimvein.

Take the disgusting quiz and find out if this is the right audiobook for you!

Do you do any or all of the following: pick your nose, talk in burps, or wee in swimming pools? Do you ever wear the same undies two (or more) days in a row? Do you wish you knew the most disgusting thing in the world? Do you think brussel sprouts are a delicious mouth watering treat? Do you like stories about dead flies, giant slugs, and mysterious brown blobs?

Warning! This book contains nothing but bad stories, bad poems, and bad riddles about bad characters doing bad things. It is a very, very, very bad book.

Is this the right book for you? Take the annoying test and find out. Do you ask 'Are we there yet?' over and over on long car trips? Do you like to drive people mad by copying everything they say and do? Do you hog the shower and use up all the hot water? Do you enjoy asking silly questions that have no real answers? Do you swing on the clothesline whenever you get the chance?

When a tragedy occurs and an Imperial retribution force is shattered, two young Imperial Knight pilots must work together and learn the ways of war if they – and the world of Donatos – are to survive. As desperation grows, unblooded Knights Errant Danial and Luk must quickly learn the ways of war to prevent an unholy ritual, or Donatos will be lost and all the noble Houses of Adrastapol with it.

You’re probably wondering just how Andy and Terry met. Well, it’s a long story, but a pretty exciting one, and it’s mostly true! Come on up, choose a hammock, and they’ll tell you all about it. Andy and Terry's newly expanded treehouse, which now features 13 brand-new storeys, including a dodgem car rink, a skate ramp, a mud-fighting arena, an antigravity chamber, and an ice cream parlour with 78 flavours run by an ice-cream-serving robot called Edward Scooperhands. Just keep clear of the Maze of Doom....

Following in the tradition of Clive Cussler and Matthew Reilly, Andy McDermott takes us a roller-coaster ride in search of the legendary Atlantis. Archaeologist Nina Wilde believes she hasfound the location of the lost city of Atlantis andnow she wants the opportunityto prove her theory. Someone...

Andy and Terry’s amazing 65-Storey Treehouse now has a pet-grooming salon, a birthday room where it’s always your birthday (even when it’s not), a room full of exploding eyeballs, a lollipop shop, a quicksand pit, an ant farm, a time machine and Tree-NN: a 24-hour-a-day TV news centre keeping you up to date with all the latest treehouse news, current events and gossip. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!

You think you know evil? Think again.If Ted Bundy sent shivers down your spine, brace yourself for Christopher Wilder – the serial killer who was even more cunning, even more hypnotic, and whose reign of terror is far from over.He was the ultimate wolf in sheep's clothing: tall, handsome, seemingly respectable – the Australian-born son of an American war hero. Behind this polished exterior lurked a ruthless predator. For 20 years, this wealthy businessman and race car driver stalked America's most beautiful women. Someone's daughter. Someone's sister. Girls who never made it home.Now we're...

The seventh laugh-out-loud and wacky adventure in the world's most awesome treehouse! Join Andy and Terry in their now 91-storey spectacular treehouse. They've added 13 new levels, including the world's most powerful whirlpool, a mashed-potato-and-gravy train and a human pinball machine. Why not try your luck on the spin-and-win prize wheel, hang out in a giant spider web (with a giant spider), or eat a submarine sandwich the size of an actual submarine?

The Robot Riot! Test: (1.) Henry McThrottle suspects that the new girl, Roberta Flywheel, is A: a spy. B: a boy. C: a robot. (2.) Roberta writes in her diary that she is on a mission to A: kiss Henry. B: clean up the school. C: exterminate all humans. (3.) Henry and his friends get Grant Gadget to build A: a treehouse. B: a sand castle. C: a robot-fighting robot. (4.) Grant Gadget's robot-fighting robot malfunctions and A: picks flowers. B: starts telling jokes. C: goes completely out of control.

The latest edition to the riotously funny Just series by best-selling Australian children's author Andy Griffiths. Is this the right book for you? Take the SHOCKING TEST and find out.

Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson's podcast - brass hands, blue drink and more. It's not really about football, d'you know what I mean? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.