Showing results by publisher "Podium Audio" in Humorous

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

Upon returning to Valia after his journey to Caelford and the Unclaimed Lands, Corin Cadence is confronted with a familiar foe—his own father. While his strength has vastly increased since his last encounter with Magnus Cadence, Corin knows that he’ll need every trick at his disposal—and maybe a few new ones—if he wants to survive a duel with his father intact. While Corin struggles with his family, his friends must face a second year at Lorian Heights with new classes, familiar but new chancellor, and deadly new enemies both on and off the campus.

The Merry Band of Pirates stopped the enemy from stealing a Sentinel, and destroyed its Elder starship, so why weren’t the Pirates planning a victory party? The enemy was not what they thought it was. It was much, much worse.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

The Aftermath of a stunning victory—especially an unexpected, complete, and final victory—should be high-fives all around, listening to politicians give boring congratulatory speeches, and a well-deserved rest for the Merry Band of Pirates. Yes, the galaxy is still a freakin' mess, but that is nothing new, and for a change, that can be someone else's problem. Until, you know, something really bad happens, and only the Pirates can deal with the problem... Or not.

Having rescued thousands of people from being sacrificed, Evelyn could use some peace and quiet. Life has other plans. She quickly finds herself drawn into assisting a deity with a small problem, only to return and find that her great-grandmother has learned of her existence. Being drawn into the affairs of the fey is not for the faint of heart, but Evelyn isn't about to let them manipulate her. Not even if they're family.

When alien species converge on Earth, each enlisting the help of humans, only one author has the testicular fortitude to envision the madness that ensues: Jeremy Robinson. In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal...

Micah, Jess, and the ever-loyal Golden Retriever, Grover, seek refuge in the snowy seclusion of a New Hampshire farm, along with their new Kynolari friends. As winter's grip tightens, so does the Draun's hold on Earth. The signal sent by the Visionary has awakened the Draun DNA inside two hundred and fifty million humans, the number increasing every day. Nowhere is safe, and humanity is on the brink of unimaginable chaos. Forced to flee after a devastating attack on the farm, the heroes are scattered, pursuing desperate gambits across the globe.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

Emily Wright was prepared to spend her first year on campus under the radar and out of sight, propelled by the force of her social anxiety. Fate, however, cursed her with the ability known as Sister Summoning. Revealed on Power Day—the annual event where people discover their superpowers—Emily’s new talent caused five “sisters” to suddenly pop into existence. And as if that weren’t enough, Emily found herself officially categorized as a villain.

A kinetic manipulator who can turn vibrations into devastating shockwaves, Rattles, has already torn through Eauclaire's defenses. Buildings are in ruins, heroes are falling, and now he's coming for the city's criminal mastermind herself. But a certain gang of teenage girls—who wield powers drawn from the animal kingdom—stands in his way . . . Loyal and cunning, they wreak havoc in the name of their leader, known as the Boss. And thanks to their fight to tip the scales in the war between good and evil, evil always comes out ahead. But the Boss is no hardened villain.

Evelyn enjoyed living a nice quiet life in an anarchic pirate port, far from the world she’d once conquered. Then came an attack by mercenaries that made her angry. By the time the dust settled, she had a group of former slaves which she’d freed, her djinn assistant had convinced several of the women that they should join Evelyn’s brand-new harem, and she was looking for a new home, likely aboard a ship.

Not long ago, NSLICE-00P—short for Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer—performed her job with cold, calculated, merciless obedience. When she was ordered to destroy something, it got seriously destroyed. Unfortunately, that led her to take out her own creator before he created her, casting the cyborg out of her reality and into a world of magic, levels, and skills, with her very own dungeon core and no one to tell her what to do. As it turned out, fate put NSLICE-00P in the right place at the right time: she's become a legit heroine in this new existence.

The Antithesis want nothing more than to consume other worlds, altering their environments and birthing armies of monsters to continue their spread across the galaxy. Their next target is Earth, but with hundreds of Samurai protecting their home, it will be no easy victory. Taking root on Mars and its moons, the Antithesis have concocted a plan for the ultimate cosmic takeover: transform Phobos into a living satellite and hurtle it toward Earth.

The Library's operations are expanding. Patrons come and go. Fines levied, books returned. But some dangerous books have been wiped from the system, and only surveillance helps reveal what they are. With some of these books integral to dimensional stability, they have to be retrieved no matter what. Quinn must enlist the help of her assistants and allies to perform rituals capable of locating these books. Some of the information comes too easily, hinting at deception behind every turn. They must navigate the trails before the traps snap shut!

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

Power Day occurs every year on September 15th. Across the world, formerly regular people awaken with superhuman abilities—and labels to go with them. They become the next generation of Heroes...and Villains. September 15th is also Emily Wright’s first day on campus. While everyone else is out celebrating the start of their college career, Emily’s hiding in her dorm room. She wonders if it’s possible to earn a degree while completely avoiding eye contact with anyone. All she wants is to learn a little. Instead, she’s granted a superpower and categorized as villainous.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.