Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

Zoey Ashe wakes up every day feeling like she’s trying to steer a battleship while tied to the propeller. The twenty-three-year-old heiress to a criminal empire is navigating a futuristic world of high-tech liars and cutthroats, forced to learn the rules of a devious game she never asked to play. Now she’s facing a crisis that is both bigger and stranger than all that came before: The gleaming new city of Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival, which every year precedes the equally massive annual drunken riot.

In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the 23-year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door, and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She's even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house.

T.E.D.D. is a trash droid with glitches, sarcasm to spare, and zero interest in dealing with our crap. Unfortunately, quitting isn’t easy when blackouts, psychotic episodes, and a corporate death squad are on your tail. To survive, T.E.D.D. must embrace his anomaly—and maybe even team up with the humans he can’t stand.

The year is 2099 and planet Earth is in crisis. A change in its orbit has resulted in days being 25 hours long (except Thursday, which hasn't existed for over a decade) and the extra months of Janril, Febtober, and Marchuary. In a post-apocalyptic England, the cattle-clasm has wiped out the majority of livestock and climate change has formed the drizzly season of Hamble. However, hope is at hand for the planet in the form of Professor Nebulous.

They’ve taken everything from him. Now Jerry and Chewy are headed to Niagara Falls to take out the wasteland’s greatest villain once and for all. But The Librarian isn’t the only one looking for revenge. Several other post-apocalyptic nomadic warriors have experienced Invcitus’ horrors firsthand and are in town to find vengeance. The Bookkeepers have lived under the tyrant’s iron fist for far too long. They’re well informed, organized, and ready to strike.

Demeter just wants to do her job: shuttling humans between Earth and Alpha Centauri. Unfortunately, her passengers keep dying—and not from equipment failures, as her AI medical system, Steward, would have her believe. These are paranormal murders, and they began when one nasty, ancient vampire decided to board Demeter and kill all her humans. To keep from getting decommissioned, Demeter must join forces with her own team of monsters. Together, this motley crew will face down the ultimate evil—Dracula.

The brand new BBC Radio 4 full-cast series based on And Another Thing… the sixth book in the famous Hitchhiker’s Guide 'trilogy'. Forty years on from the first ever radio series of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Arthur Dent and friends return in six brand new episodes, in which they are thrown back into the Whole General Mish Mash in a rattling adventure involving Viking Gods and Irish Confidence Tricksters, with our first glimpse of Eccentrica Gallumbits and a brief but memorable moment with The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast Of Traal.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

Having journeyed through time in order to restore peace to the galaxy, Cal Carver and Space Team are a little dismayed to find out they may have inadvertently made things even worse...whoops.

Former Captain Brad Mendoza and former Commander Jessica Lin would be two of the most wanted people in the galaxy, except everyone thinks they're dead. Now, they're desperately trying to find a new way to make a living before they run out of fuel, food, and hope.

GSW - a.k.a. a gunshot wound - back to front. That’s what landed me in Sophie’s operating room after a black op went to hell. After I bled out, she “volunteered” me for Project Angel, a top-secret program determined to revive KIAs with alien tech. I became their first success. Fast-forward to Armageddon: Demons are everywhere. Bodies even more so. After some intense fighting, we’ve reached the hospital where she worked. The place looks grim, but I’m not about to stop searching for the angel who saved my life.

Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!

Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

Ever since the System brought magic and monstrous mayhem to Earth, long-haul trucker Jill "Junkmouth" MacLeod has had a need for speed. The highway snaking through the Midwestern plains is the battleground, and the stakes are the lives of not only Jill but thousands of survivors along for the ride. Together with Bertha, her mega-upgraded, fully-turreted, heavily-armored Soulbound big rig, Jill has the edge—so far.

Not long ago, NSLICE-00P—short for Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer—performed her job with cold, calculated, merciless obedience. When she was ordered to destroy something, it got seriously destroyed. Unfortunately, that led her to take out her own creator before he created her, casting the cyborg out of her reality and into a world of magic, levels, and skills, with her very own dungeon core and no one to tell her what to do. As it turned out, fate put NSLICE-00P in the right place at the right time: she's become a legit heroine in this new existence.

The TV soundtracks of the iconic cult sci-fi comedy series Re-live your favourite moments from one of the greatest TV comedies of all time, now available to listen to as an audio download. Join Lister (Craig Charles), Rimmer (Chris Barrie), Kryten (Robert Llewellyn), Cat (Danny John Jules)...

NEW ENTRY IN THE ICARUS SAGA FROM NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR TIMOTHY ZAHN. Ten thousand years ago, a mysterious people known as the Icari vanished from the Spiral, leaving behind a network of portals that can instantaneously transport passengers hundreds or thousands of light-years...