Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

It's raining in Liscor. The spring rains have come and Liscor's entire geography changes with the dawning of the new year. The Floodplains of Liscor live up to their name, and the only way anyone is going to travel is by boat. With the rains come more monsters, dungeon delving, more goblins...not to mention some unwanted attention for the Wandering Inn.

According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner. So, the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan.

Chester, as it turns out, is actually a monster god. Unfortunately, we don’t have any time to throw festivals in his honor—the whole world has gone mad and is overflowing with corrupted monsters. His fellow Calamities, enraged that he’d forgotten them, have fused their worlds together in a fit of petty rage. Now, everyone's stuck in a bizarre and dangerous hellscape with corruption overflowing from every dungeon. The strength I’ve gathered isn’t enough.

Before meeting his pathetic and all-too-predictable demise in the middle of a pie-eating contest, Zack was living the high life: schlubbing around his parents' basement, subsisting on pizza, video games, computer screens, and web novels. He had it all . . . while still being a big, fat nothing. But when he's forced to ditch his pudgy mortal corpse, Zack finds himself taking the place of a recently-killed demonic sect elder known as Slifer, who—even as an elderly man—is one serious badass.

Kaz Wolfe is trying to prevent ancient gods from regaining access to our world. The Order wants to open a portal to the Nether to gain power by serving those gods. Playing defense isn’t working. The Order always has the initiative. It’s time for direct action, to hit the Order hard. Before it’s too late for us.

Change is in the air for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, con-man and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office. A steaming, clanging new invention - a steam locomotive named Iron Girder, to be precise - is drawing astonished crowds. Suddenly it's a matter of national importance that the trains run on time. Moist does not enjoy hard work. His input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn't involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters.

When it comes to action and adventure, every hero needs a good sidekick. Holmes has Watson, Batman has Robin, and Daniel has . . . Orrin. More like brothers than friends, they always have each other's backs. And as Daniel is the big, strong, handsome type, Orrin is more than happy to remain in his shadow at school, at parties, pretty much everywhere. Then things take a turn for the truly weird when a terrible accident catapults the pair into a world totally unlike their own, in which the rules of a role-playing game hold sway.

The Wind Runner is visiting Riverfarm, and Emperor Laken Godart couldn't be happier. Summer has arrived on Izril, and with it, trouble is brewing. The prosperity of the Unseen Empire has brought both enemies and unlikely allies to the north. A coven has descended upon Riverfarm, seeking a grand bargain with the [Emperor].

A weekly newspaper dedicated to the weird and the wonderful (but mostly the weird), The Stranger Times is the go-to publication for the unexplained and inexplicable. At least that's their pitch. The reality is rather less auspicious. Their editor is a drunken, foul-tempered and foul-mouthed husk of a man who thinks little of the publication he edits. His staff are a ragtag group of misfits. And as for the assistant editor...well, that job is a revolving door - and it has just revolved to reveal Hannah Willis, who's got problems of her own.

Death is the first step on Jerry's path to ultimate power. Ostracized by his fellow villagers, hunted by bandits, and watched by the Royal Guard's least elite squad, Jerry is called to balance creating a lovely home with practicing his craft and unleashing death and destruction on his enemies. Unfortunately, taking it slow is not an option. Wizard supremacists tour the Kingdom, Archmages enact devious plans, and the world needs Jerry more than his village does. Adventure calls—death is overrated, anyway.

Erin Solstice trusts a lot of people—even some lost Redfangs survivors of Esthelm—but can she handle being friends with Goblins when every hand is turned against them and the tribes are on the rampage? Liscor is in the path of Goblin Lord's inexorable march north, and the fates of Rags, Garen Redfang, and Tremborag's Goblin tribes are all tied to an impending war. Who will survive?

As a wielder of domestic magic, Finlay Ashowan likes to keep his affairs as neat and orderly as his kitchen. But between his work for the King and Queen of Daxaria and a new (secret) relationship with Lady Annika Jenoure, his life is anything but tidy. For one thing, if Annika and Fin are to continue their romance, they’ll need to sort out the pesky issue of Fin’s being a commoner—before Annika is forced into a political marriage that interferes with her own carefully laid plans. For another, pressure is mounting as the war with Troivack draws ever closer.

The Baron Sherazad sent me as far away from Eslant as possible. Now, I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere, in a nest full of enemies, with only a demented mimic and a renegade elf to watch my back.

Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.

The dungeon is surrounded, the refugees have made it to safety, but...they need food, water, space to recover and rest, and none of these things come cheap. That cost must be paid in mana. Mike and Kelly were sent to bring reinforcements from the park, but they're walking into a meatgrinder, one that will strip the life from them, then raise them to besiege those they love. Matt has only one chance...lead the refugees, forge them anew into a force that can face the undead, in their tens of thousands.

The Opera House in Ankh-Morpork is home to music, theatrics and a harmless masked Ghost who lurks behind the scenes. But now a set of mysterious backstage murders may just stop the show. Agnes Nitt has left her rural home of Lancre in the hopes of launching a successful singing career in the big city. The only problem is, she doesn't quite look the part. And there are two witches who would much rather she return home to join their coven.

A desperate mother. A dubious escort. And a deranged author who won’t leave them alone. Caroline Lindley is determined that her new romance novel will be her best one yet. Fantasy! Formal gowns! Fencing! And, of course, a twentysomething heroine to star in an enemies-to-lovers plot with all of Caroline’s favourite tropes. But Lady Rosamund Hawkhurst is a thirty-six-year-old widow with two children, her sole focus is facilitating a peace treaty between her adopted nation and her homeland, and she flatly refuses to take the correct approach to there being only one bed. What’s an author to do?

Kaz Wolfe has everything he needs to prevent a Convergence that would allow gods and monsters from the Nether to invade our world. Everything, other than a single clue about what a Convergence is. Or how it works. Or how to stop it. To get answers, he might have to take a fun-filled family road trip to the last place he wants to go: the Netherworld.

Tam Hashford is tired of working at her local pub, slinging drinks for world-famous mercenaries and listening to the bards sing of adventure and glory in the world beyond her sleepy hometown. When the biggest mercenary band of all rolls into town, led by the infamous Bloody Rose, Tam jumps at the chance to sign on as their bard. It's adventure she wants-and adventure she gets as the crew embark on a quest that will end in one of two ways: glory or death. It's time to take a walk on the wyld side.

For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. For Commander Sam Vimes, it all feels horribly familiar. Caught on the roof of a very magical building during a storm, he's found himself back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard, especially when your time travel companion is a serial killer who knows where you live.