Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

If there was a level zero of supernaturals, I’d be in the sub-basement level. I’m not particularly strong or fast or crazy smart, and my pixie magic is limited to little things that any basic human street magician can do. Which means that pack of coyote shifters that’s hunting me? Yeah, I’m gonna need help with them. I do the only sane thing I can do. I flee to Moonhaven Cove, and beg help from the local PNW council and the town’s sheriff. Which seemed like such a well thought-out plan . . . until the council lets Hux and his creepy pack of coyotes in.

Lily isn’t exactly thrilled with her arrival in the Afterlife, but what awaits her there is more fantastical than she ever could have imagined: Deities wait in line at the coffee shop. Fae flit between realms. Souls find ways to make death a beginning. As she explores the many corners of the Afterlife, Lily finds herself surprisingly drawn to a place most people would avoid at all costs: Hell. Armed with years of customer service experience and pent-up sarcasm, Lily carves a job out for herself amongst Hell’s demons, sending souls to their rightful circles with more than a hint of sass.

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: a giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes," "levels," and "quests," Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

I'm the new owner of a magical mansion. This mansion, well, it's not your typical building. It's a dungeon from another world, masquerading as just another private residence in the suburbs. It has enchanted rooms, can craft powerful items, build lethal traps, and produce incredible monsters. And it's my mission to protect and evolve its monstrous inhabitants.

Tamlin Ashowan has troubled his family for years. Between the fearfulness of his magic and his refusal to share exactly what it does, his loving parents and sister don’t know how best to guide him. Tam, on the other hand, insists he doesn’t need any assistance. Despite ignoring his magic and possessing a preference for remaining locked up in his room with a good book, Tam is determined to play his role as the heir to his dukedom to the best of his ability. But being the son of Finlay Ashowan, the famous hero of Daxaria, his life is prone to chaos.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

The City Watch needs men! But what it's got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-Constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-Constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-Constable Angua (a woman...most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving). And they need all the help they can get, because someone in Ankh-Morpork has been getting dangerous ideas - about crowns and legendary swords and destiny.

I make a living out of screwing over the jerks who capture and torment supernatural beasties. But when I free a bunch of particularly powerful monsters from their cages, I'm not counting on them following me home like lost puppies. Stunningly hot lost puppies, but still. These manly monsters are determined to repay me for my help, and they won't get out of my apartment until they're satisfied we're even.

Try as he might, Fischer still can't catch a break. Tropica's forces have just perpetrated the fantasyland equivalent of crashing the king's party, kicking over the punch bowl, and making a series of rude gestures on their way out. Unfortunately, they're about to learn firsthand that when you take a bully down to the mat, it's best to make sure they don't get back up. Because their enemies are unearthing long-forgotten powers, and if those dabbling in the resulting destructive chi succeed, they could become even more annoying than the time Corporal Claws hid all of Fischer's pants.

With her new product line launched and an updated version of her suit to test, Tori Rivas is ready to focus on her work for a while. But when an eruption of power elsewhere in the multiverse sends monsters bursting into her world, the young villain will find herself in the crosshairs of an unexpected invader.

When the neighbours in question are the proud empires of Klatch and Ankh-Morpork, those are going to be some pretty large garden tools indeed. Of course, no-one would dream of starting a war without a perfectly good reason...such as a 'strategic' piece of old rock in the middle of nowhere. It is after all every citizen's right to bear arms to defend their own. Even if it isn't technically their own. And even if they don't have much in the way of actual weaponry.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

I’m in love with my best friend; one of the last dragon shifters in the world. Yeah, life has just gotten way more complicated. For two years I’ve gone on one bad date after another, and for two years my best friend Roarke has stood by my side. I don’t want to date other guys. I want to date Roarke. But there are two problems with this.

With Garralosh defeated and the Colony secured, Anthony has triumphed over the wave. What now for our intrepid adventurer? In the Dungeon, there’s only one place to go: down.

The citizens of Azurvale are starting to feel the pressure. War with the Empire to the south is imminent, and there's talk of the city's adventurers being drafted into the campaign. Though this conflict seems inevitable and promises to be horrific, the common folk can do little but act like there's nothing wrong. Rather than lose sleep over something so wildly out of their control, they instead worry about tiny, personal, inconsequential issues. However, the people of Azurvale have yet to find out that their capital is already under threat.

Kaz Wolfe has everything he needs to prevent a Convergence that would allow gods and monsters from the Nether to invade our world. Everything, other than a single clue about what a Convergence is. Or how it works. Or how to stop it. To get answers, he might have to take a fun-filled family road trip to the last place he wants to go: the Netherworld.

At a glance, the dwarves and gnomes of the Horkensaft Kingdom are two peoples who are worlds apart. The former are seen as hardcore traditionalists hell-bent on maintaining the status quo, while the latter only look ever forward and upward as they grasp at the future with both hands. And yet, these two seemingly opposing cultures serve as a counter-balance to each other, creating a civilization that draws upon the wisdom of the past to face new challenges.

On Midsummer Night, dreams are especially powerful. So powerful, in fact, that they can cause the walls between realities to come crashing down. And some things you really don't want to break through.

Moist von Lipwig is a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put the ailing postal service of Ankh-Morpork back on its feet. It's a tough decision. The post is a creaking old institution, overshadowed by new technology. But there are people who still believe in it and Moist must become one of them if he's going to see that the mail gets through, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, an evil chairman...and a midnight killer. Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.

Kaz Wolfe is trying to prevent ancient gods from regaining access to our world. The Order wants to open a portal to the Nether to gain power by serving those gods. Playing defense isn’t working. The Order always has the initiative. It’s time for direct action, to hit the Order hard. Before it’s too late for us.