Showing results by publisher "----RM Alexander" in Humorous

'A foot on the neck is nine points of the law' There are many who say that the art of diplomacy is an intricate and complex dance between two informed partners, determined by an elaborate set of elegant and unwritten rules. There are others who maintain that it's merely a matter of who carries...

A desperate mother. A dubious escort. And a deranged author who won’t leave them alone. Caroline Lindley is determined that her new romance novel will be her best one yet. Fantasy! Formal gowns! Fencing! And, of course, a twentysomething heroine to star in an enemies-to-lovers plot with all of Caroline’s favourite tropes. But Lady Rosamund Hawkhurst is a thirty-six-year-old widow with two children, her sole focus is facilitating a peace treaty between her adopted nation and her homeland, and she flatly refuses to take the correct approach to there being only one bed. What’s an author to do?

It seems like a lifetime ago that Thedeim was a mortal man. After a fatal accident, he was transported to a strange realm to begin again as a living low-level dungeon. But he didn't stay small for long. With a powerful will, he built his dungeon self into a force to be reckoned with, full of minions, creepy crawlies, and a hedge maze to die for. Except Thedeim isn't a place where delvers die. He's a different, friendlier kind of dungeon, which suits both him and his many allies just fine. But being a nice dungeon means taking on some not-so-nice entities.

Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle. Three witches gathered on a lonely heath. A king cruelly murdered, his throne usurped by his ambitious cousin. A child heir and the crown of...

They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. There are some situations where the correct response is to display the sort of ignorance which happily and wilfully flies in the face of the facts. In this case, the birth of a baby girl...

Brynn was the first to ever activate the world’s hidden Prestige Mode, granting powerful perks at the cost of his godhood and all memories of his past life. Now, he’s at rock bottom in a brutal world where leveling is so deadly most people never try, powerful classes evolve through corestones, and loot is awarded through system-granted achievements. Armed with nothing but a magical helmet and an empty Alchemist’s Kit left behind by his former self, the ex-paramedic must grind his way back to divinity, level-by-level. But regaining his power won’t be his greatest challenge…

When Miri partners up with her detective ex-husband on an off-the-books magical missing persons operation, she expects buddy cop adventures galore. Instead, she gets more than she bargained for, starting with a mouthy golem who’s forced onto the team. Their mission? Crash a secret—and deadly—competition targeting non-magic humans to rescue the young woman at the heart of their case.

Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.

When Miri­ was a teen, her parents were murdered by magic assassins. Now her aggressively normal job as a law librarian is perfect for keeping her daughter safe—until her ride-or-die best friend goes missing after tangling with vampires.

Ever dreamt of waking up inside a novel? For Kim Roksu, this dream becomes reality when he finds himself in the shoes of Cale Henituse, the lazy, wine-loving son of a count--and punching bag for the novel's destined hero. Determined to dodge his grim fate, this new Cale Henituse vows to rewrite his story, aiming for a life of leisure far from heroic deeds and inevitable beatdowns.

The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters' hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the Heroes' Guild actually kills the beasts. Of course, that's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin; orcs, goblins, kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers (or NPCs) to avoid being killed and looted by heroes.

I was in my garage, when the space elves addressed the whole world. They didn't call themselves space elves, of course, but most humans struggled to pronounce Khjurhnalva. They had a message for us: Forces that had eradicated their species' males were heading for Earth. The space elves offered us access to the System, as cooperation was vital to the survival of both our species. I, Mathew, know all of the above is bullshit. I saw the truth with my own eyes, heard it from their beautiful, deceitful mouths. No one believes me, though. A planet-wide, survival reality show? Ridiculous.

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

February 2012. Somewhere in the North Atlantic. In an increasingly uncertain defence environment, a deadly new arms race has begun. In an attempt to secure her boundaries, Britain has deployed the very latest sub-sea military technology. Beneath and beyond the front line, these are the adventures of the HMS Goliath. A 55,000-tonne M-Class nuclear stealth submarine, prowling 5,000 metres below the surface, manned by idiots.

Not long ago, the dungeon known as Thedeim was a mere human. But after an up-close-and-personal meeting with a runaway semitruck—and subsequent dealings with a rather flustered Angel of Prodigals—he found himself in a new world, reincarnated as a run-down old house that just barely qualified as a dungeon. However, it didn't take long for him to build his core, mana, and reputation, making friends along the way.

Gabe Skelter has a temper, which he likes to imagine has the effect of causing people to fear and respect him. On the contrary, his pudgy, underdeveloped body and negative personality make him more your standard outcast teenager. Worse still, he kinda knows what a jerkweed he actually is. Then, in the middle of a class trip, Gabe finds himself spirited away to Regaia: a world of magic, mayhem, and nerd-tastic adventure. Naturally, he’s completely ill-prepared. But in this realm, he’s a monstrous, muscular man of action.

In a world where almost everyone has a superpower, Sam Archer finds himself with one of the most useless abilities of all - immortality. Sure, he can’t die, but he sure as hell can’t fight back either. If anything, the incapacity to die has turned out to be a hassle for Sam, with ridiculous requests for obnoxious favors being a primary concern. However, his coworker Lily Dodson is about to make his life a lot more interesting with her unique proposal. Warning: This book contains adult content that may not be suitable for all audiences.

Evie Sage has never been happier to be the assistant to The Villain. Who would have thought that working for an outrageously handsome, evil overlord would be so rewarding? Still, the business of being bad is demanding, the forces of good are annoyingly persistent, and said forbidding boss is somewhat . . . out-of-evil-office. But Rennedawn is in trouble, and all signs—Kingsley's included—point to catastrophe. Something peculiar is happening with the kingdom's magic, and it's made The Villain's manor vulnerable to their enemies . . . including their nemesis, the king.

Sorry... Really? Thrust? Anyway, Danny Kendrick was a down-on-his luck performer who always struggled to find his place. He certainly never wanted to be a hero. He just hoped to earn a living doing what he loved. That all changes when he pisses off the wrong guy and gets sucked into a fantasy realm straight out of a Renaissance Fair.

After years as the Free States of Caldia's most lethal weapon, all I want is to study magic at Stoneway Academy and find something resembling a normal civilian life. The Great War against the Democratic Republic of Auropa has finally come to a ceasefire, but tensions haven't necessarily died down overnight.