Showing results for "unabridged" in Humorous

Being tortured isn’t fun at all…especially when it’s your ex-flame attaching the battery cables to you. For Captain Brad Mendoza, his month has gone from bad to worse, and now all anyone seems interested in is the galaxy-changing secret that’s rattling around in his brain. Whoever breaks Brad can build an empire that will rival anything else in the Fringe!

In his last life, Liam lived as a moral, responsible person...but died deep in debt and betrayed by his wife. Reborn into the ruling family of a vast interstellar empire, Liam knows that life is divided between the downtrodden and the ones who do the stomping, so this time he's going to take what he wants and live for himself. But somehow, things refuse to work out that way. Despite doing his best to become a tyrant, Liam's decisions lead to nothing but peace and prosperity for the empire under his rule, and he just gets more and more popular!

Brad Mendoza is an idiot. He knows it, and so does everyone else. A promising naval career down the drain just, because he accidentally killed 504 civilians. So, it's time for him to give up and accept a dead-end command on Persephone, the worst ship in the fleet. Until he meets the beautiful and cunning Jessica Lin, his new executive officer, who harbors a terrible secret of her own. Now, he's in a race to save her and his stupid ship.

Former Captain Brad Mendoza and former Commander Jessica Lin would be two of the most wanted people in the galaxy, except everyone thinks they're dead. Now, they're desperately trying to find a new way to make a living before they run out of fuel, food, and hope.

Power Day occurs every year on September 15th. Across the world, formerly regular people awaken with superhuman abilities—and labels to go with them. They become the next generation of Heroes...and Villains. September 15th is also Emily Wright’s first day on campus. While everyone else is out celebrating the start of their college career, Emily’s hiding in her dorm room. She wonders if it’s possible to earn a degree while completely avoiding eye contact with anyone. All she wants is to learn a little. Instead, she’s granted a superpower and categorized as villainous.

Seth is part of a clandestine intergalactic bounty hunting operation, and so is everyone else he works with. The Moonsault Professional Wrestling league fronts a group of super-powered bounty hunters that secretly work for the Intergalactic Federation and have a damn good time while doing it.

Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

If you’ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Which is exactly what the crew of the

Heart of Gold plan to do. There’s just the small matter of escaping the Vogons, avoiding being taken to the most totally evil world in the Galaxy and teaching a space ship how to make a proper cup of tea. And did anyone actually make a reservation?

The Fletcher family honey business teeters on the brink of bankruptcy as shipments from their eccentric matriarch's farm grow scarce. But Poppy refuses to let her family become destitute and she will do anything to get to the bottom of the mystery. However, on her aunt’s strange island, Poppy finds more questions than answers. The bees defy expectations, the farm is full of ancient creatures, and her aunt’s secrets run deeper than she originally suspected.

With Garralosh defeated and the Colony secured, Anthony has triumphed over the wave. What now for our intrepid adventurer? In the Dungeon, there’s only one place to go: down.

The war between the Earth-led Alliance and the Hama Empire rages across the galaxy. There are valiant skirmishes, dastardly acts of subterfuge and sabotage, daring rescues, sinister sneak attacks, and a hundred other tales of heroism worth telling. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the Alliance capital world has become a hotbed of espionage and intrigue as friendships and allegiances are strained and broken. Cason Maze has been tasked with protecting the defense against this new front.

Ben and the crew have set course for an alien planet, but the inhabitants are far from what they expected. They have answers that could get their baby Viraquin home, but Ben isn’t sure he’s willing to pay the price for the well-guarded secret. En route to the planet, they receive a distress call from a crippled ship and are bound by law to help. The life support system onboard is failing and the crew is dying. Ben and Lois are their last hope. A power coupling is easy enough to get to ensure their survival… they just have to plunder it from another ship.

I used to be the greatest Earth Mage in my world. The head of the entire Order of Architects. But the older you get, the more you come to realize that at some point, you need to retire, so that you can have the chance to enjoy a peaceful life and to cede your place to the young, some of whom have already turned two thousand years old . . .So that's what I did. But I failed to account for one thing: during the course of my long life, I'd accumulated too many enemies, and they had decided to spoil my retirement. So they died along with me. And I hope their deaths were final. But mine was not!

A man awakens in a clearing in what appears to be medieval England with no memory of who he is, where he came from, or why he is there. Chased by a group from his own time, his sole hope for survival lies in regaining his missing memories, making allies among the locals, and perhaps even trusting in their superstitious boasts. His only help from the “real world” should have been a guidebook entitled The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England, except his copy exploded during transit.

What do a dead cat, a computer whiz-kid, an electric monk who believes the world is pink, quantum mechanics, a chronologist over 200 years old, Samuel Taylor Coleridge (poet) and pizza have in common? Apparently not much, until Dirk Gently, self-styled private investigator, sets out to prove the fundamental interconnectedness of all things by solving a mysterious murder, assisting a mysterious professor, unravelling a mysterious mystery and eating a lot of pizza - not to mention saving the entire human race from extinction along the way (at no extra charge).

After turning the world of AstroTerra upside down, Roth has no choice but to leave the verdant landscape of Green Country and venture off to the inhospitable Rock Canyon, a land of cliffs and slavers. Roth ends up finding a mysterious city filled with exciting sights. He makes new friends and finds a place where he can finally craft and play peacefully. Regardless of how much Roth tries to run, trouble keeps finding him. Why can't he just lie low? Why does he keep causing chaos wherever he goes?

When word of his abilities spreads through the galactic grapevine, Ben ranks number one on an A.I.’s most wanted list to become their cybernated slave. As he’s thrust into an interstellar struggle, Ben discovers a powerful alien hiding on Earth. Determined to protect it, he must outmaneuver relentless enemies, decode cryptic warnings, and determine whether a headstrong spaceship is friend or foe. The fate of more than just his own survival is at stake, and if he fails, the entire universe could pay the price.

It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.

For as long as she can remember, Belle has been insidiously obsessed with her skin and skincare videos. When her estranged mother Noelle mysteriously dies, Belle finds herself back in Southern California, grappling with lingering questions about her death. The stakes escalate when a strange woman in red appears at the funeral, offering a tantalizing clue about her mother’s demise, followed by a cryptic video about a transformative spa experience. With the help of a pair of red shoes, Belle is lured into the barbed embrace of the same lavish culty spa her mother to which her mother was devoted.