Showing results for "unabridged" in Humorous

Being tortured isn’t fun at all…especially when it’s your ex-flame attaching the battery cables to you. For Captain Brad Mendoza, his month has gone from bad to worse, and now all anyone seems interested in is the galaxy-changing secret that’s rattling around in his brain. Whoever breaks Brad can build an empire that will rival anything else in the Fringe!

Brad Mendoza is an idiot. He knows it, and so does everyone else. A promising naval career down the drain just, because he accidentally killed 504 civilians. So, it's time for him to give up and accept a dead-end command on Persephone, the worst ship in the fleet. Until he meets the beautiful and cunning Jessica Lin, his new executive officer, who harbors a terrible secret of her own. Now, he's in a race to save her and his stupid ship.

Former Captain Brad Mendoza and former Commander Jessica Lin would be two of the most wanted people in the galaxy, except everyone thinks they're dead. Now, they're desperately trying to find a new way to make a living before they run out of fuel, food, and hope.

In his last life, Liam lived as a moral, responsible person...but died deep in debt and betrayed by his wife. Reborn into the ruling family of a vast interstellar empire, Liam knows that life is divided between the downtrodden and the ones who do the stomping, so this time he's going to take what he wants and live for himself. But somehow, things refuse to work out that way. Despite doing his best to become a tyrant, Liam's decisions lead to nothing but peace and prosperity for the empire under his rule, and he just gets more and more popular!

Power Day occurs every year on September 15th. Across the world, formerly regular people awaken with superhuman abilities—and labels to go with them. They become the next generation of Heroes...and Villains. September 15th is also Emily Wright’s first day on campus. While everyone else is out celebrating the start of their college career, Emily’s hiding in her dorm room. She wonders if it’s possible to earn a degree while completely avoiding eye contact with anyone. All she wants is to learn a little. Instead, she’s granted a superpower and categorized as villainous.

Jace thought he’d inherited a dusty old ranch. What he really got was a flying rust bucket and a cosmic mess with his name all over it… Weeks after his beloved father’s passing, Jace Jones is surprised to discover he’s been left a ranch in the middle of nowhere; a place so remote, even the tumbleweeds are lonely. Curious and confused, he makes the trip... only to watch a starship drop out of the sky and obliterate the entire property!

Seth is part of a clandestine intergalactic bounty hunting operation, and so is everyone else he works with. The Moonsault Professional Wrestling league fronts a group of super-powered bounty hunters that secretly work for the Intergalactic Federation and have a damn good time while doing it.

Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

God rest ye merry gentlefolk, it's time for the traditional St Mary's Christmas jump - this year to Martingale Manor, where a murder mystery is unfolding... It's nearly Christmas and Leon has had a Brilliant Idea. A holiday - to enable a very reluctant Max to recover from her recently acquired...

A man awakens in a clearing in what appears to be medieval England with no memory of who he is, where he came from, or why he is there. Chased by a group from his own time, his sole hope for survival lies in regaining his missing memories, making allies among the locals, and perhaps even trusting in their superstitious boasts. His only help from the “real world” should have been a guidebook entitled The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England, except his copy exploded during transit.

With Garralosh defeated and the Colony secured, Anthony has triumphed over the wave. What now for our intrepid adventurer? In the Dungeon, there’s only one place to go: down.

They threw him in a desert hell with one rule — fight to the death or get scrapped. Now T.E.D.D., the glitchy trash droid who’s done taking orders, is trapped in Sector Zero, where the Manager forces humans and machines into brutal bloodsport. Friends could become executioners — or corpses beside him. There’s no walking away. Outsmart the arena, or rust in the sand. Because in Sector Zero, the deadliest enemy isn’t the droids, the humans, or even the Manager. It’s the choice Tedd must make.

For more than 150 years I've served the Kingdom of Sena. Through four Kings and a Queen. Two wars and a rebellion. I've founded and taught at a magic school. I've fought against beast waves and dungeon breaks. But now? Now, the one close friend I had left has passed. So, I'm done with their politics and their economics. The short and busy lives of humans are more burden than benefit on the weary soul of this half-elf.

Intergalactic lawman Terry Victor is betrayed by fellow officers and sent to a backwater planet on the interstellar arm of the universe. In short, he was sent to the planet called Earth. Fed up, he quits in a fit of disgust and seeks a peaceful retirement among the humans. Unfortunately, trouble has a way of finding Terry Victor. Keep his head down and away from Earth's authorities, or help a woman about to be attacked by a gang?

I used to be the greatest Earth Mage in my world. The head of the entire Order of Architects. But the older you get, the more you come to realize that at some point, you need to retire, so that you can have the chance to enjoy a peaceful life and to cede your place to the young, some of whom have already turned two thousand years old . . .So that's what I did. But I failed to account for one thing: during the course of my long life, I'd accumulated too many enemies, and they had decided to spoil my retirement. So they died along with me. And I hope their deaths were final. But mine was not!

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented.

Dan's cats are acting weird. One has grown into a strength powerhouse, the other wants to communicate... verbally. And now other kitties have begun to go missing from his quiet suburban street. Could the man in the parka that haunts a nearby industrial estate have answers? Or perhaps it's something to do with the strange disappearing woman in the woods? Can our hero figure out the conspiracy before it turns into a catastrophe?

*A Short History of the Apocalypse: your comprehensive guide to the challenges of Armageddon* Join Frankie Boyle (Saturday Night Swindle; Celebrity Vengeance) and Charlie Skelton (head writer: Ad Naseum; David Suchet's News Sachet) as they debrief time traveller and bon vivant from the late 21st...

You might think a month away from fighting sentient cubical supplies in a threatening alt-reality office would mean a break for James Lyle. But . . . you'd be wrong. Even though James has taken a beat from adventuring into the dungeon hidden within the stairwell of his workplace, he's been dealing with plenty of stress-inducing issues, from raising a recently corporeal infomorph to navigating his newly minted relationship with his best friends, fighting his own depression, and wrestling with the moral implications of his burgeoning powers.