Showing results for "unabridged" in Humorous

Belissar has always lived a peaceful life, if not a particularly easy one. Though he lost his parents, he was taken in by a kindly villager who taught him his life's calling: beekeeping. But one day the local lord's ruthless son, Ruckanos, comes to their humble village to claim his own tower, slaughtering everyone. Luckily for Belissar, as he lies dying with an arrow in his back, a tiny worker bee decides to interfere, and he wakes up not only alive but a whole new bee-ing.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

I’m in love with my best friend—who just happens to be one of the last dragon shifters in the world. Yeah. Life just got a whole lot more complicated. For two years, I’ve suffered through one bad date after another, and for two years, my best friend Roarke has been right there beside me. The problem? I don’t want to date other guys—I want him. But there are two massive issues with that. I keep hoping that in true romcom style, Roarke and I will get our happily ever after. But this is real life, and I don’t know if there are happily ever afters for a broken bear shifter and a dragon shifter.

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

I never really expected to go from full-time Neet to a God, but you know how life hits, right? Well, it doesn't really matter in the end. What matters is how I got there. You know how I said this ain't that type of guide? Well, maybe it can be. Maybe you'll figure some things out along the way—who knows? Actually I do, and you probably won't, but who cares, right? So take a seat in your mother's basement ,or whatever hole you live in, and listen to the story of how I, a full-time Neet, became a God.

When Benjamin's latest conquest revealed herself to be from another world, he couldn't believe it. But her crazy revelations didn't stop there. She said that Benjamin was the reincarnation of the Forgotten Ruler, a supreme being with an empire that once spanned an entire continent. Now, he's traveling to that fantasy world with one goal in mind: rebuilding his empire, one monstrous offspring at a time. Move over Sauron, Benjamin Davies is the next dark lord of fantasy.

Twenty years ago, his father saved the world. Or so the history books will probably say once someone gets around to writing them. All Mihalis knows is the world he has been raised into. It's not a bad world, as things ago, he has a big and loving family, but there is the ongoing "war" that promises to be on-going for a good many years to come. Raised to the blade by his mother, and taught not only her ways as well as a good many of the ways of her people, but also the ways of his father's other wives, as well as the ways of his magic, Mihalis has had a very thorough education.

One moment Robin is imbibing an elixir of his own creation as he practices casting spells, and the next he’s lying naked in a cave about to embark on a mysterious quest. It seems the God Rhyth has vanished from the realm of Mayaser, and Robin—altered from human to shadeling—has been chosen to find out what happened to the deity and its worshippers.

The devil paid me a visit and said I was going to one day rule his demonic kingdom. The catch: I have to attend the Infernal Academy, located in none other than Hell itself. Thankfully, I won’t be doing it alone. I’m going to surround myself with powerful demonesses (and maybe an angel or two as well).

Power Day occurs every year on September 15th. Across the world, formerly regular people awaken with superhuman abilities—and labels to go with them. They become the next generation of Heroes...and Villains. September 15th is also Emily Wright’s first day on campus. While everyone else is out celebrating the start of their college career, Emily’s hiding in her dorm room. She wonders if it’s possible to earn a degree while completely avoiding eye contact with anyone. All she wants is to learn a little. Instead, she’s granted a superpower and categorized as villainous.

Thomas Jury has been taken, and there is nothing in this world that can stop Doc from getting him back. The only problem is that doing so may incite a war, but right now Doc is too pissed to care. He's on a collision course with the most powerful witch family in the world. Unfortunately for them, Doc's wrath may be more than they can bear...

The Ants go marching and it sure isn't one by one! The Dungeon of Pangera is a dangerous place and for Anthony, there's only way to go: down! The third stratum beckons, a place of fire, ash and the monsters classed as demons. So, so, many demons. Join our Antrepid Antventurer as he blazes a trail into the third layer of the Dungeon, facing new foes, new challenges and new developments within his own, rapidly expanding family!

The second book in an action-packed, epic, and hilarious LitRPG fantasy series about an underdog who was never supposed to be a hero—but when he’s forced to manage a cursed magical farm, he proves himself far more resilient (and luckier) than any monster—or god—expected. Nicholas Parker...

The third book in the hit LitRPG series, perfect for fans of Beware of Chicken and Dungeon Crawler Carl, where Chuck, an ordinary man thrust into a world full of magic and monsters, finds that gods and demons stand in the way of his deadliest challenge yet...reaching the elusive level 50. The...

Jerry hits the road, fighting for life and freedom. With conspiracies at play and a Primordial revived, gathering the Prisms is more crucial than ever. Jerry must travel to find them, but enemies abound. Growing stronger is imperative. Can he do it in time? From a sea of clouds to a vibrant archipelago, Jerry and his friends must contend with pirates, giants, ancient wizards, and the worst opponent of all: Boney’s bone puns.

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: a giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes," "levels," and "quests," Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

Corin Cadence is on the run. After meeting with the Emerald Council, Corin has made himself some new enemies—most notably the Dalenos Six, a group of the most powerful representatives of the nation of Dalenos. He's also made a dangerous deal. A place of safety, if he can reach it. One where he can finally have one of the resources he needs most: time. But while that strange place may hold the key for Corin to make his final preparations for a long-awaited rescue mission, it also holds hidden dangers. And one final secret tied to the Cadence household.

The galaxy is doomed. Monkeys may be clever and too stubborn to give up, but Skippy The Idiot Who Got Played knows the harsh truth: this is a fight he can’t win. The odds are not only stacked against him, he was designed not to win this fight. Maybe he can salvage some faint memory of the civilizations that inhabit the galaxy, but those beings are doomed. Doomed. Including the Merry Band of Pirates.