Showing results for "unabridged" in Humorous

Okay, I might be seriously under-qualified for the job of Enforcer, I'll admit. The Enforcer is supposed to be a human, for starters. It's usually an ex-special forces guy with big muscles and even bigger balls, and a knack for sorting out petty squabbles between the witches and vampires and shifters in the city. And I'm just a technically dead nail tech—an animated skeleton with a talent for illusion magic and gold gel manicures. But I've recently discovered that I can manifest some pretty big muscles of my own. I've already got the big balls, so I'm halfway there.

The devil paid me a visit and said I was going to one day rule his demonic kingdom. The catch: I have to attend the Infernal Academy, located in none other than Hell itself. Thankfully, I won’t be doing it alone. I’m going to surround myself with powerful demonesses (and maybe an angel or two as well).

She's unlike any one or any thing else: a Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer aka NSLICE-00P. The first of her kind, she's let loose into a universe of superheroes on behalf of her sinister masters to destroy all who oppose them. And everything's going according to plan—until NSLICE-00P gets hacked and sent into the past to kill her own creator before he creates her. Obeying orders as always, she wastes the poor guy. Unfortunately, there are consequences to initiating a reality-breaking time paradox. The most significant: total ejection from that reality.

Belissar has always lived a peaceful life, if not a particularly easy one. Though he lost his parents, he was taken in by a kindly villager who taught him his life's calling: beekeeping. But one day the local lord's ruthless son, Ruckanos, comes to their humble village to claim his own tower, slaughtering everyone. Luckily for Belissar, as he lies dying with an arrow in his back, a tiny worker bee decides to interfere, and he wakes up not only alive but a whole new bee-ing.

I’m in love with my best friend—who just happens to be one of the last dragon shifters in the world. Yeah. Life just got a whole lot more complicated. For two years, I’ve suffered through one bad date after another, and for two years, my best friend Roarke has been right there beside me. The problem? I don’t want to date other guys—I want him. But there are two massive issues with that. I keep hoping that in true romcom style, Roarke and I will get our happily ever after. But this is real life, and I don’t know if there are happily ever afters for a broken bear shifter and a dragon shifter.

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

Ren war einst nur ein feiger Alchemist, der sich hinter Tränken und Ausreden versteckte. Doch als ein globales Ereignis plötzlich einen Weltboss vor ihre Tür setzt, braucht die Gilde mehr als nur einen Heiler – sie braucht Super Ren.

Vampires don't exist, do they? That is a question Private Detective Tony Mandolin finds himself pondering as the evidence piles up in a case involving a string of dead redheads and the usual dose of weirdness San Francisco has to offer. To complicate things, Mandolin has to deal with the perception that he has become the latest golden boy of the fog city's crime boss. Then there's his cross-dressing friend Frankie.... Just another day in San Francisco.

Kane is a six-foot-seven French Canadian. But, a year ago, he was a wolf. He'd been in the woods when a crazed, infected man attacked him. The next day, he transformed into a human. Now, Kane is searching for the Biting Man to get the answers he needs to become a wolf again and return to his pack. The only one who knows Kane's secret is a troubled young woman named Emelda. She needed out of a terrible situation; Kane needed someone who could drive. Wolves who become humans are terrible drivers. He also has a problem with moonlight.

Thomas Jury has been taken, and there is nothing in this world that can stop Doc from getting him back. The only problem is that doing so may incite a war, but right now Doc is too pissed to care. He's on a collision course with the most powerful witch family in the world. Unfortunately for them, Doc's wrath may be more than they can bear...

A classic series for a new generation of fantasy adventure fans, Thieves' World® paved the way for the shared-world anthology tradition with epic worldbuilding, unforgettable characters, and nonstop action thanks to the legendary authors who contribute to it.

As a kind-hearted beekeeper, young Belissar was never one to boast about anything. But after he was rescued by a beneficial bee core and gifted a tower, life has certainly exceeded his wildest expectations. In fact, he's become a serious contender in a world in which the unworthy very quickly become the unalived. And that's the ending a whole juggernaut of strong, nigh-eternal, highborn tower lords have in mind for Belissar. They're on the way, and they want him annihilated—along with everything he's ever created.

Kaz Wolfe has everything he needs to prevent a Convergence that would allow gods and monsters from the Nether to invade our world. Everything, other than a single clue about what a Convergence is. Or how it works. Or how to stop it. To get answers, he might have to take a fun-filled family road trip to the last place he wants to go: the Netherworld.

On Earth, the scrawny Orrin may have been a big nothing, but he had a bigger buddy in his athletic bestie, Daniel. They were inseparable, like two sides of the same coin. But when a tragic accident transported them to an RPG-like reality, that coin got seriously flipped.

Classes evolve, roles shift, and in the city of Liscor, change is happening. The Horns of Hammerad are growing as adventurers, rising in the eyes of the city and the surrounding lands. They've survived, and they've leveled, but new levels also bring new problems. Izril is still facing turmoil as nobles fight and squabble while Liscor breathes again and heals, trying to find a new way forward. The best cure for dark days? Games! And none know it better than the oldest adventurers, who've lived through countless struggles.

The final novel in the highly acclaimed and beloved Thursday Next series. Will Thursday find her happy ending? Swindon-based Literary Detective Thursday Next is embarking on her eighth and final adventure: 'Dark Reading Matter' and she is well aware of the fact. The problem is, others are too...

In the magic lands of the Fae Wild, the Goblin King's virility is the lifeblood of the realm. But an insidious curse has put the kingdom on the precipice of a population panic. Enter Thomas Stone: architect, engineer, and unknowing half-blood heir to the goblin throne. Whisked away to a world where baby-making makes the world go round, Thomas finds himself in a pickle thicker than goblin stew. Birth rates are dropping faster than a fairy on a bad flight path, and it’s up to Thomas to save the fae from themselves.

A [Mage] team from Wistram Academy is dogging Pisces, Ceria, Ksmvr, and Yvlon's steps, with revenge in mind. However, adventurers must work, and the Horns have been called on as security for an ambitious project: building a road past the Bloodfields towards the rest of southern Izril. There is more to the world than just Liscor, however. Players of Celum are coming to Invrisil with a splash. There are [Knights] from Terandria roaming around Izril after their battle with the Witch of Webs, and they have heard tell of a mysterious slayer of Goblins.

Back when things were normal, Orrin the Timid tried saving his best friend, Daniel the Popular, from a runaway truck. But he failed, and the resulting crash landed them both in a world of magic, monsters, and levels. There, Orrin grew from a mild-mannered sidekick into a legit powerhouse, unlocking Administrator-level powers unlike anything else. Still, things are tough for the former zero.