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You’ve heard of sub drop — the crash after intense play. But tops crash too. In this episode, we explore the neurochemistry of “after”: why dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin swings can leave both tops and subs feeling weepy, anxious, drained, or guilty. We’ll talk about how drop shows up in the body, why it’s normal, and what practices help regulate and repair. Because drop isn’t proof you did it wrong — it’s proof your body went deep.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Drop
• (00:02:03) - Understanding Sub Drop
• (00:03:02) - Understanding Top Drop
• (00:04:39) - The Science Behind Drop
• (00:08:55) - Recognizing Drop Symptoms
• (00:11:54) - Distinguishing Drop from Red Flags
• (00:13:24) - Planning and Managing Drop
• (00:19:25) - Personal Reflections and Rituals
• (00:21:11) - Conclusion and Resources

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Switches get a bad rap as “indecisive” — but the truth is, switching between roles is a skill, and it comes with unique consent challenges. In this episode, we explore what it means to be a switch, how to navigate role changes without confusion or coercion, and why nervous system regulation matters when moving from dominance to submission (or vice versa). With humor, real talk, and trauma-informed insight, I’ll show you how switching can be one of the most creative and liberating dynamics when consent is clear.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Switching Roles
• (00:00:22) - Challenges of Switching Roles
• (00:00:46) - Navigating Role Shifts Safely
• (00:01:25) - Understanding the Switch Identity
• (00:02:09) - Defining a Switch in Kink Culture
• (00:03:37) - Appeal and Benefits of Switching
• (00:05:47) - Consent and Boundaries for Switches
• (00:07:52) - Nervous System and Role Transitions
• (00:10:56) - Practical Tips for Smooth Switching
• (00:16:17) - The Joy and Complexity of Switching
• (00:19:47) - Reflecting on Your Role Preferences
• (00:21:44) - Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Consensual non-consent (CNC) is one of the edgiest and most misunderstood areas of kink. Done well, it’s cathartic and erotic. Done poorly, it becomes coercion. In this episode, I break down the ethics of CNC: how to negotiate clearly, check capacity, and always have clear off-ramps in place. We’ll talk nervous system safety, why freeze and fawn matter, and how to play with intensity without crossing lines. CNC doesn’t erase consent — it makes it even more central.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction and Trigger Warning
• (00:01:24) - Understanding Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)
• (00:02:14) - Ethics and Safety in CNC
• (00:03:03) - Basics of CNC: Definitions and Scenarios
• (00:04:28) - Risks and Misconceptions of CNC
• (00:06:49) - Practical Framework for CNC
• (00:11:22) - Importance of Off-Ramps in CNC
• (00:16:04) - Neuroscience and CNC
• (00:20:34) - Personal Reflection and Conclusion

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“Enthusiastic consent” sounds great — but what if your body doesn’t do loud, verbal yeses? For neurodivergent folks, trauma survivors, and anyone who struggles with words in the moment, enthusiasm might look like presence, softness, or subtle signals. In this episode, we unpack what enthusiastic consent really means, why verbal expression isn’t the only valid language of desire, and how to honor body-based yeses and noes. Because consent isn’t about volume — it’s about clarity, congruence, and safety.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Enthusiastic Consent
• (00:00:41) - The Problem with Mainstream Consent Education
• (00:02:25) - Redefining Enthusiastic Consent
• (00:08:12) - Challenges with Verbal Consent
• (00:14:01) - Nonverbal Enthusiastic Consent
• (00:20:05) - Practical Consent Practices
• (00:27:51) - Reflecting on Personal Consent Signals
• (00:30:13) - Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. Personal Responsibility in Consensual Kink. If you’ve been in kink spaces, you’ve heard the acronyms — but what do they mean for nervous-system safety? In this episode, I break down SSC, RACK, and PRICK/SSICK, explore where they succeed and where they fall short, and offer a nervous system lens that makes consent more than words on paper. If you’re neurodivergent, trauma-impacted, or just craving clarity, you’ll learn how to translate these frameworks into embodied practice so consent is real, not theoretical.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Embodied Consent
• (00:01:59) - Understanding SSC: Safe, Sane, and Consensual
• (00:04:30) - The Evolution to RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink
• (00:05:56) - Introducing PRICK and SSICK Frameworks
• (00:07:25) - The Role of the Nervous System in Consent
• (00:20:25) - Practical Applications of Nervous System Aware Consent
• (00:28:24) - Creating Community Support for Embodied Consent
• (00:30:30) - Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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ADHD meds can be a lifesaver for focus, productivity, and stability — but no one tells you what they might do to your sex life. Lowered desire, delayed arousal, harder-to-reach orgasms… it’s a thing, and it’s not your fault. In this episode, I talk about how stimulant medications interact with sexual response, why neurodivergent brains often experience sex differently, and what strategies can help you adapt without shame. From timing your intimacy to sensory amplifiers to honest scripts with partners, this is about reclaiming agency and keeping pleasure alive — meds or no meds.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction: ADHD Meds and Sexuality
• (00:02:04) - Understanding ADHD and Sexuality
• (00:05:31) - The Impact of ADHD Medications
• (00:09:26) - The Silence Around Sexual Side Effects
• (00:14:35) - Navigating Sexuality on ADHD Meds
• (00:19:44) - Partner Support and Communication
• (00:21:32) - Advocating for Your Sexual Health
• (00:23:34) - Reflection and Closing Thoughts

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You want to feel connected, but suddenly you’re gone — body present, mind floating near the ceiling tiles. Dissociation during sex can feel confusing, shameful, or even like proof something’s wrong with you. But here’s the truth: dissociation isn’t failure, it’s protection. In this episode, I break down why nervous systems sometimes check out during intimacy, how trauma and shame hijack presence, and what you can do to begin reclaiming safety and real connection. This isn’t about forcing pleasure or performing for your partner — it’s about understanding your body’s brilliance and learning to stay with yourself one breath at a time.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction: The Unspoken Reality of Dissociation During Sex
• (00:01:25) - Understanding Dissociation: Your Body's Safety Mechanism
• (00:02:41) - The Spectrum of Dissociation: Different Experiences
• (00:03:23) - Why Dissociation Happens: Vulnerability and Trauma
• (00:06:22) - Neurodivergence and Sensory Overload
• (00:07:38) - The Aftereffects: Shame and the Cycle of Dissociation
• (00:09:26) - Strategies for Presence: Micro Check-Ins and Sensory Anchors
• (00:11:11) - Communication and Nonsexual Touch
• (00:12:59) - Healing and Therapy: Rewriting Your Script
• (00:14:35) - Conclusion: Embracing Compassion and Healing

Ever wondered why detailed negotiation, safe words, and scene structure don’t kill the vibe in kink—they actually make it hotter? For neurodivergent and trauma-impacted folks, clear boundaries and predictable roles can feel like a nervous system exhale. In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty unpacks how structured intimacy (like kink and BDSM) creates real safety, reduces dissociation, and turns clarity into turn-on. We’ll dive into why your brain craves rules in the bedroom, how consent conversations are actually erotic, and why aftercare is non-negotiable for healing.

Craving intimacy that feels genuinely safe? Hit play—and subscribe to Untamed Ember wherever you get your podcasts.

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• (00:00:00) - Why Structured Play Is Sexy for Neurodivergence and Safety
• (00:01:59) - What Kink Is Doing for Sexual Safety
• (00:04:42) - The Radical Difference Between Sexual Consent in Vanilla and Kink Culture
• (00:10:43) - What Nervous System informed Kink
• (00:11:46) - Kink Community: Aftercare for Trauma Impact Players
• (00:13:39) - Kink and the Stigma
• (00:16:10) - My message for kink lovers
• (00:17:46) - The Secret to Authentic Sex