In non-monogamous relationships, many conflicts are not about jealousy or trust, they are about information. What needs to be shared, what should remain private, and how people get stuck oscillating between oversharing and withholding.

Dr. Misty breaks this episode down into the critical difference between privacy and withholding, and why confusing the two creates unnecessary harm. Privacy protects autonomy. Withholding removes information required for consent, safety, or shared decision-making.

You will hear a clear framework for sorting information into three distinct channels: logistical safety and accountability, relational impact, and erotic or experiential detail. The episode explores how collapsing these categories leads to boundary violations, shutdown, and loss of trust, even when no one intends harm.

This conversation is for people practicing polyamory, open relationships, or other forms of consensual non-monogamy who want clarity without surveillance, honesty without oversharing, and consent that functions in real life rather than theory.

• (00:00:00) - The 3 Types of Consent in Polyamory
• (00:01:22) - The Difference Between Privacy and Withholding in Non-Monogamous
• (00:06:11) - The 3-Channels Framework
• (00:12:14) - Why I Overshare and Say Nothing in Polyamory
• (00:16:39) - When Sexual Privacy Is Involved
• (00:18:13) - What is a No-Feeling Relationship?
• (00:19:47) - A Guide to Privacy in Sex
• (00:20:26) - Which Channel Do You Need From Your Partners?
• (00:21:05) - The 3 Channels of Information in Your Relationships

Here's a radical idea: being polyamorous doesn't make you a better person.

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty calls out the weaponized poly discourse that's been laundering bad behavior under enlightenment language. "That's just jealousy." "I don't believe in obligation." "You're asking for hierarchy." These phrases shut down accountability instead of opening conversations.

Through the story of Jenna and Ari, you'll hear exactly how autonomy gets confused with avoidance, privacy becomes a cover for withholding critical information, and growth rhetoric turns into a weapon that dismisses harm instead of repairing it.

This episode draws clear lines between discomfort and harm, autonomy and impact, consent and endurance. Because ethical non-monogamy requires more communication, more accountability, and more repair than monogamy, not less.

This one's for you if:

• Someone has told you to be "better at polyamory" while ignoring your needs, boundaries, or safety
• You're practicing non-monogamy and want relationships grounded in honesty and real consent, not just sophisticated vocabulary
• You're tired of enlightenment language being used to dodge responsibility

Bottom line: Polyamory is not a moral upgrade. Labels don't replace ethics. And your nervous system's response to harm isn't pathology—it's intelligence.

Time to stop making the person experiencing harm responsible for fixing it.

• (00:00:00) - Introduction: Challenging Polyamory Myths
• (00:00:38) - Weaponized Language in Polyamory
• (00:00:49) - The Ethics of Non-Monogamy
• (00:01:25) - Avoiding Accountability in Polyamory
• (00:04:57) - Patterns of Harm in Polyamory
• (00:05:04) - Neglect Framed as Autonomy
• (00:07:22) - Dishonesty Reframed as Privacy
• (00:09:03) - Coercion Disguised as Growth
• (00:14:36) - Building Ethical Polyamory
• (00:22:45) - Conclusion: Embracing Ethical Non-Monogamy

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Power exchange is sexy when it’s chosen. Power over is toxic when it’s stolen. In this episode, we talk about the difference between ethical dominance and coercion, why consent makes power dynamics hotter, and how trauma and ND nervous systems experience surrender. You’ll learn how to spot red flags, practice ethical dominance, and build dynamics that are both safe and deeply erotic.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Power Dynamics
• (00:01:01) - Understanding Power Exchange
• (00:02:15) - Defining Ethical Power Exchange
• (00:05:44) - Recognizing Unhealthy Dynamics
• (00:10:14) - Practicing Ethical Dominance
• (00:15:14) - The Importance of Trust and Consent
• (00:20:16) - Conclusion and Final Thoughts