I feel like we’re trying, every day, to be kind, and ethical, and to serve well. We’re even taking the time to cultivate these qualities.

And I also feel like when we fail, it’s hard. And even harder to turn towards the situation with clarity.

What gets in the way, for me, is justification and denial. And that’s when I slide backwards. Not because my “fail” is terrible, although it might be. But because I lose sight of the positive. Forget about all the goodness. And when that happens, it’s easier to make another mistake.

So what if we pay more attention to the positive, when it shows up? Log it into our memories, our bodies (which keep the score)? My guess is that then, in those, “oh no!” moments, the recollection of goodness will act like ballast, and it’ll be easier to turn towards the moment with courage, and clarity, and compassion. And ultimately, repair any harm (to others, and to ourselves).

In Zimbabwe, there’s almost 90% unemployment. In South Africa, there are the remnants of apartheid. America has cancelled US AID to the poorest of poor, and is about to tax a huge lifeline: money that gets sent home. Conditions on this amazing continent are not easy, to say the least.

And through it all, to a person, the Africans we’ve met, from so many countries on this patchwork continent, are kind and loving and generous. No matter that we come from the west, or from comparative wealth, or have privileges most Africans will never have. Or are Americans, and thus, right now, part of the problem. Still, they create safety and comfort and love, for us and for everyone around them.

As Hafiz said, “…Look what happens with a love like that.
It lights the whole sky.”

I wonder about the power of generosity to set the tone of the law, or change it.

Right now, we’re everyone to their corner and then knives out. What if we could be passionately on the sides of clients, causes, justice, but in a different way - not with a classic, take no prisoners approach, but with generosity? And with faith that the choice to do that would be seen as skillful, not weak?

In a way generosity seems anathema to our work. In another way it seems like a shift we desperately need. There’s no point in guessing, though. We’ll only know if we try.

Not much can change on the global scale, or even in my community (or even in my house), if I’m not thoughtful and intentional about my own personal behavior. I know that. You probably know that, too.

But I’d also say, not much can change if I’m not thoughtful and intentional in a specific way: by being a little (or a lot) more generous; by committing, and making sure, that nothing I say or do will cause harm; and by taking the time, no matter how busy I am, and no matter how much the world throws at me, to train my heart and mind to be still.

Recently I said something snarky and it got back to the person.For the whole day, I dreaded what would happen. When the worst did happen, I felt even worse: a slow, painful remembering of how imperfect I am, despite all the striving. And of how perfection is not even a thing, no matter how much I strive.

In a funny way, dread helped me. In fact, dread was the most helpful thing. Without dread, I wonder if I’d even have noticed, let alone cared. But with dread, and after making peace with dread, which took a minute, self-compassion emerged, and then a plan. And self-compassion plus a plan feels like a decent idea for this moment.

I hear a lot about sending love to humans, being kind and appreciative and compassionate to teachers, loved ones, friends…even enemies.

I hear less about sending love to the earth. Yet of all beings (if the earth is a being, and isn’t she?), doesn’t the earth deserve love, too? Doesn’t she deserve appreciation, and for once, instead of extracting from her, for us to give her our best, our love, our kindness, every good thing we’ve got? Seem like it’s the least we can do.

Are we “cultivating” love, compassion, and joy, or do we already have plenty and just need to access it?

If we have plenty, and just need to learn how to access it, what’s in the way of doing that? For me, it’s wanting to hold onto the things that are working, and wanting all the really awful moments to end: all that wanting for things to be different, instead of learning to be “in” love right in this (imperfect) present.

Which makes me wonder: if that’s true for me, is it true for everyone? And if so, then does that mean everyone? And if it does, then is compassion the right response, for all the everyone’s who just don’t know, yet, how to access their love?

There’s “ordinary” news: market whiplash; leadership/not leadership; greed, hatred, and delusion.

But there’s sweet news, too: the child of a friend and benefactor who cleans houses for living - a child who’s been planning to be a lawyer since they were five -

got into Princeton undergrad with a full ride.Princeton, full ride, with a solid foundation of love and goodness underneath them: leadership in the making.

In the middle of the muck (from the incredibly hard work of scrubbing toilets) a triumph. From the deep mud, a gorgeous lotus.