Explore Your Attachment Style With Thais Gibson. Access All Courses, Live Webinars & Q&As Free for 7 Days (Enough Time to Complete a Full Course). Limited-time Access: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-18-26&el=podcast

Understanding the Fearful Avoidant Push-Pull Cycle If you have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, relationships can feel like an exhausting emotional pendulum, pulling you toward closeness one moment and pushing you away the next.

In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down why Fearful Avoidants experience this push-pull dynamic and how healing begins by understanding your activating and deactivating strategies, the stories you tell yourself, and the unmet needs driving these patterns.

Episode Summary Fearful avoidants often carry both anxious and avoidant wounds at the same time. This creates inner conflict, wanting closeness while also fearing it.

In this episode, you’ll learn: Why Fearful Avoidants swing between activation and deactivation How trauma, core wounds, and subconscious stories fuel push-pull patterns Why calm, secure relationships can feel unsafe or unfamiliar How emotional regulation helps you identify and meet your real needs How questioning your internal stories brings you back to balance Healing isn’t about choosing closeness or distance, it’s about learning how to return to center.

Key Takeaways Fearful Avoidants have both activating (anxious) and deactivating (avoidant) sides Push-pull patterns are driven by unmet needs and core wounds, not character flaws Awareness is the first step, noticing when you’ve left emotional center Questioning your stories helps prevent emotional dysregulation Regulating your nervous system allows you to express needs more clearly and safely

Timestamps 00:00 – The Fearful Avoidant’s Push Pull Patterns 00:34 – Fearful Avoidants Have an Activating and Deactivating Side 02:45 – Take Notice of Your Activating And Deactivating Tendencies 03:15 – Heal From a Breakup Course Promo 03:51 – Question Your Stories 05:32 – Regulating Your Emotions Can Help You Meet Your Needs

Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources: 🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Explore Your Attachment Style With Thais Gibson. Access All Courses, Live Webinars & Q&As Free for 7 Days (Enough Time to Complete a Full Course). Limited-time Access: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-26-26&el=podcast

If you have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, the people who frustrate, hurt, or emotionally activate you the most are not random. They are mirrors, reflecting the parts of yourself that have been repressed, conditioned, or pushed into the shadows in order to survive.

In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down one of the most powerful healing tools for attachment recovery: relationship shadow work and how your triggers reveal the subconscious patterns shaping your relationships, self-worth, and emotional safety.

🎥 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode, you’ll learn how the relationship shadow, a concept rooted in Carl Jung’s work, directly influences fearful avoidant patterns in love and connection. When parts of you were once shamed, punished, or deemed unsafe to express, they didn’t disappear, they went underground.

These hidden traits show up later as intense emotional reactions to others. Whether it’s feeling taken advantage of, disrespected, controlled, dismissed, or overwhelmed by closeness and distance, your triggers are signposts pointing toward unresolved inner conflict and unmet needs.

You’ll also learn the difference between the shadow and the golden shadow, why Fearful Avoidants often abandon themselves to stay safe, and how this creates painful relationship dynamics that can be healed through conscious integration and boundary repair.

✨ KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why your strongest emotional triggers reveal what you’ve been taught to repress • How Fearful Avoidants often take advantage of themselves to please others • The hidden link between people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and resentment • How lack of boundaries creates feelings of being disrespected or controlled • Why you may attract dismissive or anxious partners and how this mirrors inner patterns • Practical reflection questions to integrate shadow traits in a healthy, balanced way • How daily awareness and small behavioral shifts can reprogram attachment patterns

Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources: 🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Start Your 14-Day Free Trial to the All-Access Pass and Keep the Master the Dating Stage of Relationships Course for Life as a Free Bonus. https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/valentines-day?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=valentines-day&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-14-26&el=podcast

Do You Actually Want Love… Or Do You Just Want to Be Chosen?

The feeling of not being chosen by someone you deeply care about can feel devastating. But what if the real wound isn’t about love at all?

In this powerful episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the deeper subconscious pattern behind the need to be chosen and how it may be rooted in unresolved childhood experiences. You’ll learn why this pattern keeps repeating, what healthy love is actually supposed to feel like, and how to finally shift out of chasing and into secure connection.

Episode Summary The desire to be chosen often masks something much deeper: a subconscious belief that being selected equals worthiness. When this pattern forms in childhood through not feeling fully seen, safe, or special, it can show up later as chasing emotionally unavailable partners or investing in people who don’t fully choose you.

In this video, you’ll uncover the five pillars of healing this wound, including understanding your subconscious comfort zone, recognizing how you may be recreating unresolved childhood experiences, and learning how to truly choose yourself first.

Because the truth is: healthy love is not supposed to feel like auditioning.

Key Takeaways • Why not being chosen feels so painful and grief-oriented • How wanting to be chosen can stem from childhood experiences • The difference between conscious desire and subconscious programming • Why we subconsciously choose familiar (even painful) dynamics • What secure love is actually supposed to feel like • How choosing yourself rewires your subconscious comfort zone • Practical steps to begin healing and building self-alignment

Timestamps 00:00 – The Feeling of Not Being Chosen 01:27 – 1. Think of a Time When You Wanted to Be Chosen 03:36 – 2. The Desire to Be Chosen Is a Recreation of an Unresolved Childhood Event 05:16 – 14-Day Trial Promo 06:06 – 3. We Choose What to Invest in From Our Subconscious Mind 09:12 – 4. Love Is Not Supposed to Feel Like That 11:24 – We Heal This When We Learn to Choose Ourselves 12:32 – 5. In Order to Change, You Have to Start With Your Subconscious Comfort Zone 14:51 – Steps to Heal

Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources: 🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/