In this episode David and Naomi meet with Lawrence Collins-Willis who shares his disturbing personal story of childhood abuse, recovery, and the ongoing journey to heal from trauma. His openness offers insight into the complex process of memory recovery and the importance of self-awareness, resilience, and professional support.

Key Topics

• The impact of adopting children later in life and personal childhood histories
• Recognizing triggers and embodying emotional regulation
• The role of therapy, including EMDR and somatic approaches, in trauma recovery
• Memory recovery: how traumatic memories emerge piecemeal and the disorientation involved
• Physical manifestations of trauma: scars, surgeries, and bodily effects
• The importance of self-compassion and patience during healing
• Challenging stigma around male trauma and abuse
• Supporting others who experience or process trauma
• The importance of trauma-informed therapy and support options for men

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction to Lawrence’s story and its significance 02:01 - Pre-adoption life: grounding and functioning well 04:38 - Experiencing and recognizing emotional triggers during parenting 06:26 - Professional interventions and the importance of therapy 08:13 - The breakthrough moment in therapy and uncovering repressed memories 11:13 - The harsh reality of childhood abuse and the process of memory recovery 13:13 - The details of traumatic events, betrayal, and ongoing impact 16:25 - The body's physical response: scars, surgeries, and bodily trauma 19:44 - The emotional toll and identity shifts following trauma 22:56 - The importance of support systems and handling suicidal thoughts 28:38 - Disorientation of memory flashing back and sensory triggers 30:46 - The somatic effects of trauma on the body and physical health 33:08 - How trauma influences identity and self-image 36:49 - Managing triggers and feeling safer in everyday life 38:24 - The lasting impact of trauma and ongoing vulnerability 42:01 - The challenges of feeling safe and concerns about future behavior 43:33 - Addressing fears around abuse and the importance of trauma-informed support 45:43 - Navigating the landscape of mental health support and barriers to access 47:19 - The dark moments: suicidal ideation and seeking help 50:06 - Breaking down stigma and supporting men's mental health and trauma recovery 52:14 - Advice for survivors: emotions, anger, and self-kindness 54:37 - Contemporary trauma therapy approaches and their effectiveness 55:48 - Final reflections: acceptance and the ongoing journey of healing

In this episode David and Naomi meet with Lawrence Collins-Willis who shares his disturbing personal story of childhood abuse, recovery, and the ongoing journey to heal from trauma. His openness offers insight into the complex process of memory recovery and the importance of self-awareness, resilience, and professional support.

Key Topics

• The impact of adopting children later in life and personal childhood histories
• Recognizing triggers and embodying emotional regulation
• The role of therapy, including EMDR and somatic approaches, in trauma recovery
• Memory recovery: how traumatic memories emerge piecemeal and the disorientation involved
• Physical manifestations of trauma: scars, surgeries, and bodily effects
• The importance of self-compassion and patience during healing
• Challenging stigma around male trauma and abuse
• Supporting others who experience or process trauma
• The importance of trauma-informed therapy and support options for men

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction to Lawrence’s story and its significance 02:01 - Pre-adoption life: grounding and functioning well 04:38 - Experiencing and recognizing emotional triggers during parenting 06:26 - Professional interventions and the importance of therapy 08:13 - The breakthrough moment in therapy and uncovering repressed memories 11:13 - The harsh reality of childhood abuse and the process of memory recovery 13:13 - The details of traumatic events, betrayal, and ongoing impact 16:25 - The body's physical response: scars, surgeries, and bodily trauma 19:44 - The emotional toll and identity shifts following trauma 22:56 - The importance of support systems and handling suicidal thoughts 28:38 - Disorientation of memory flashing back and sensory triggers 30:46 - The somatic effects of trauma on the body and physical health 33:08 - How trauma influences identity and self-image 36:49 - Managing triggers and feeling safer in everyday life 38:24 - The lasting impact of trauma and ongoing vulnerability 42:01 - The challenges of feeling safe and concerns about future behavior 43:33 - Addressing fears around abuse and the importance of trauma-informed support 45:43 - Navigating the landscape of mental health support and barriers to access 47:19 - The dark moments: suicidal ideation and seeking help 50:06 - Breaking down stigma and supporting men's mental health and trauma recovery 52:14 - Advice for survivors: emotions, anger, and self-kindness 54:37 - Contemporary trauma therapy approaches and their effectiveness 55:48 - Final reflections: acceptance and the ongoing journey of healing

Joining us today is Crispin Thorold - a British-Canadian international communications specialist and former BBC foreign correspondent who has spent the past 25 years specialising mainly on conflicts, post-conflict situations and crisis areas. He has worked in more than 40 countries, including six war zones and multiple post-conflict regions. As a BBC correspondent Crispin was based in Northern Ireland, India, Afghanistan and the Middle East. As a comms leader he has worked closely with survivors of terrorism, torture and war. Now retraining as a psychotherapist and psychologist, he plans to build on his previous experience, to work with men who have been affected by conflict. His interest areas include trauma and addictions.

keywords

journalism, crisis reporting, mental health, trauma, psychotherapy, conflict, emotional toll, news consumption, storytelling, human experience

summary

Crispin Thorold, a former foreign correspondent now training as a psychotherapist, talks about his progress through crisis reporting, the emotional toll it takes, and the transition to understanding trauma from a psychological perspective. He discusses the challenges of reporting in conflict zones, the responsibility felt towards the affected populations, and the importance of mental health awareness in journalism. The conversation also touches on the impact of news consumption on society and the need for a more thoughtful approach to engaging with current events.

takeaways

Crispin's journey into journalism was not planned but evolved from his interests.

His background in history and international relations shaped his career.

The emotional connection to the places and people he reported on was profound.

Journalists often feel a responsibility to tell the stories of those suffering.

The cycle of reporting can be mentally exhausting and challenging.

Crispin highlights the long-lasting mental scars from war reporting.

He emphasizes the importance of self-care for journalists.

Transitioning to psychotherapy has allowed him to explore trauma more deeply.

There is a growing awareness of mental health issues in journalism.

Crispin advocates for a more thoughtful approach to news consumption.

sound bites

"You feel a real responsibility."

"The mental scars that it can leave on you."

"I think there's a lot more awareness now."

Chapters (timings approx.)

00:00 Introduction to Crispin Thorold's Journey

02:32 The Path to Foreign Correspondence

05:23 Understanding Conflict Through Personal History

08:03 The Responsibility of Reporting

11:25 Challenges in War Reporting

15:52 The Emotional Toll of Conflict Reporting

19:50 The Human Element in Journalism

23:59 Trauma and Dissociation in Journalists

25:28 Experiencing Trauma in War Zones

27:40 Coping Mechanisms and Personal Healing

30:23 Transitioning from Journalism to Advocacy

33:11 The Impact of Trauma on Journalistic Work

35:35 Organizational Support for Journalists

38:59 The Need for Accessible Mental Health Resources

40:51 Rethinking News Consumption

48:25 Concluding Thoughts on Trauma and Healing

49:16 Ten second outro video.

Joining us today is Crispin Thorold - a British-Canadian international communications specialist and former BBC foreign correspondent who has spent the past 25 years specialising mainly on conflicts, post-conflict situations and crisis areas. He has worked in more than 40 countries, including six war zones and multiple post-conflict regions. As a BBC correspondent Crispin was based in Northern Ireland, India, Afghanistan and the Middle East. As a communications leader he has worked closely with survivors of terrorism, torture and war. Now retraining as a psychotherapist and psychologist, he plans to build on his previous experience, to work with men who have been affected by conflict. His interest areas include trauma and addictions.

keywords

journalism, crisis reporting, mental health, trauma, psychotherapy, conflict, emotional toll, news consumption, storytelling, human experience

summary

Crispin Thorold, a former foreign correspondent now training as a psychotherapist, talks about his progress through crisis reporting, the emotional toll it takes, and the transition to understanding trauma from a psychological perspective. He discusses the challenges of reporting in conflict zones, the responsibility felt towards the affected populations, and the importance of mental health awareness in journalism. The conversation also touches on the impact of news consumption on society and the need for a more thoughtful approach to engaging with current events.

takeaways

Crispin's journey into journalism was not planned but evolved from his interests.

His background in history and international relations shaped his career.

The emotional connection to the places and people he reported on was profound.

Journalists often feel a responsibility to tell the stories of those suffering.

The cycle of reporting can be mentally exhausting and challenging.

Crispin highlights the long-lasting mental scars from war reporting.

He emphasizes the importance of self-care for journalists.

Transitioning to psychotherapy has allowed him to explore trauma more deeply.

There is a growing awareness of mental health issues in journalism.

Crispin advocates for a more thoughtful approach to news consumption.

sound bites

"You feel a real responsibility."

"The mental scars that it can leave on you."

"I think there's a lot more awareness now."

Chapters (timings approx.)

00:00 Introduction to Crispin Thorold's Journey

02:32 The Path to Foreign Correspondence

05:23 Understanding Conflict Through Personal History

08:03 The Responsibility of Reporting

11:25 Challenges in War Reporting

15:52 The Emotional Toll of Conflict Reporting

19:50 The Human Element in Journalism

23:59 Trauma and Dissociation in Journalists

25:28 Experiencing Trauma in War Zones

27:40 Coping Mechanisms and Personal Healing

30:23 Transitioning from Journalism to Advocacy

33:11 The Impact of Trauma on Journalistic Work

35:35 Organizational Support for Journalists

38:59 The Need for Accessible Mental Health Resources

40:51 Rethinking News Consumption

48:25 Concluding Thoughts on Trauma and Healing

49:16 Ten second outro video.

Summary

In this conversation, Kate Eves shares her extensive experience in researching and investigating deaths in custody, discussing the complexities and challenges faced by professionals in this field. She highlights the importance of understanding the human stories behind the statistics, the impact of media narratives on public perception, and the need for transparency and accountability in death investigations. The discussion also touches on the emotional toll of this work, the inquest process, and the lessons that can be learned from past investigations.

Keywords

death, custody, investigations, mental health, media narratives, transparency, accountability, inquests, criminal justice, coping mechanisms

Bio: Kate has over 25 years’ experience of conducting research, inspections and investigations within custodial environments, in the UK and the US. Kate has worked with HM Inspectorate of Prisons, the Prisons and Probation Ombudsman, the Forum for Preventing Deaths in Custody and HM Prison Service, where she led on the national strategy for reducing violence in custody. Kate has also worked with numerous prison and jail systems in the United States to improve detention conditions and increase accountability following deaths and serious violence. Kate recently chaired the UK government's first statutory inquiry into mistreatment in immigration detention, during which she found evidence of abuse contrary to international human rights legislation. She is a member of the Independent Advisory Panel on Deaths in Custody, a group of experts who advise the UK government on the prevention of deaths in all forms of state custody.

Takeaways

Kate Eves transitioned from law to criminology, focusing on the aftermath of criminal cases.

Investigating deaths in custody requires a balance of objectivity and empathy.

The emotional impact of reviewing traumatic cases can be significant for professionals.

Media narratives shape public understanding of policing-related deaths.

Transparency in death investigations is crucial for accountability.

Inquests serve as a fact-finding exercise but can be intimidating for families.

Blame and shame can complicate the inquest process.

Learning from past investigations is often hindered by systemic issues.

Coping mechanisms are essential for professionals in high-stress roles.

Death is the ultimate leveller, affecting everyone regardless of status.

sound bites

"I think it is really easy to kind of forget that."

"The ultimate leveler, isn't it?"

"You just have to be very aware of it."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Kate Eves and Her Career

08:00 Exploring Policing Related Deaths

15:48 Investigating Deaths in Custody

20:45 Challenges in Death Investigation

23:57 The Inquest Process and Its Emotional Toll

26:42 Understanding Inquests and Their Challenges

30:18 The Role of Blame and Shame in Inquests

33:49 Learning from Inquests: Challenges and Opportunities

35:28 Confronting Death: Perspectives and Insights

40:40 Finding Hope in Difficult Work

45:26 Coping with Moral Injury in Challenging Environments

Keywords

childhood trauma, MDMA therapy, sexual abuse, repressed memories, family dynamics, forgiveness, healing, survivor stories, therapy, mental health

Summary

In this conversation, Daniel shares his profound journey of healing from childhood trauma and sexual abuse. He discusses the complexities of uncovering repressed memories, the role of MDMA therapy in his recovery, and the challenges he faced in disclosing his experiences to his family. Daniel emphasizes the importance of understanding grooming and conditioning, the struggle with forgiveness, and the significance of sharing one's story as a means of reclaiming dignity and sovereignty. He also offers valuable insights for therapists working with survivors of trauma, highlighting the need for compassion and understanding in the healing process.

Takeaways

Daniel's journey began with a struggle against self-hatred and trauma.

MDMA therapy played a crucial role in uncovering repressed memories.

The process of reliving trauma can be both painful and transformative.

Family dynamics can complicate the disclosure of abuse.

Grooming and conditioning are key factors in understanding abuse.

Forgiveness is a complex and personal journey for survivors.

Setting boundaries is essential for healing and self-preservation.

Support networks are vital for survivors of trauma.

Sharing one's story can be empowering and healing.

Therapists should approach survivors with compassion and understanding.

Chapters (timings approx)

00:00 Introduction to Daniel's Journey

01:46 Uncovering Childhood Trauma

05:11 The Role of MDMA Therapy

08:37 The Impact of Repressed Memories

12:25 Family Dynamics and Disclosure

17:33 Understanding Grooming and Conditioning

21:48 The Complexity of Forgiveness

26:13 Advice for Therapists Working with Survivors

30:18 Finding Healing and Support

42:50 The Power of Sharing Your Story

Summary

In this conversation, Kate Eves shares her extensive experience in researching and investigating deaths in custody, discussing the complexities and challenges faced by professionals in this field. She highlights the importance of understanding the human stories behind the statistics, the impact of media narratives on public perception, and the need for transparency and accountability in death investigations. The discussion also touches on the emotional toll of this work, the inquest process, and the lessons that can be learned from past investigations.

Keywords

death, custody, investigations, mental health, media narratives, transparency, accountability, inquests, criminal justice, coping mechanisms

Bio: Kate has over 25 years’ experience of conducting research, inspections and investigations within custodial environments, in the UK and the US. Kate has worked with HM Inspectorate of Prisons, the Prisons and Probation Ombudsman, the Forum for Preventing Deaths in Custody and HM Prison Service, where she led on the national strategy for reducing violence in custody. Kate has also worked with numerous prison and jail systems in the United States to improve detention conditions and increase accountability following deaths and serious violence. Kate recently chaired the UK government's first statutory inquiry into mistreatment in immigration detention, during which she found evidence of abuse contrary to international human rights legislation. She is a member of the Independent Advisory Panel on Deaths in Custody, a group of experts who advise the UK government on the prevention of deaths in all forms of state custody.

Takeaways

Kate Eves transitioned from law to criminology, focusing on the aftermath of criminal cases.

Investigating deaths in custody requires a balance of objectivity and empathy.

The emotional impact of reviewing traumatic cases can be significant for professionals.

Media narratives shape public understanding of policing-related deaths.

Transparency in death investigations is crucial for accountability.

Inquests serve as a fact-finding exercise but can be intimidating for families.

Blame and shame can complicate the inquest process.

Learning from past investigations is often hindered by systemic issues.

Coping mechanisms are essential for professionals in high-stress roles.

Death is the ultimate leveller, affecting everyone regardless of status.

sound bites

"I think it is really easy to kind of forget that."

"The ultimate leveler, isn't it?"

"You just have to be very aware of it."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Kate Eves and Her Career

08:00 Exploring Policing Related Deaths

15:48 Investigating Deaths in Custody

20:45 Challenges in Death Investigation

23:57 The Inquest Process and Its Emotional Toll

26:42 Understanding Inquests and Their Challenges

30:18 The Role of Blame and Shame in Inquests

33:49 Learning from Inquests: Challenges and Opportunities

35:28 Confronting Death: Perspectives and Insights

40:40 Finding Hope in Difficult Work

45:26 Coping with Moral Injury in Challenging Environments

Keywords

childhood trauma, MDMA therapy, sexual abuse, repressed memories, family dynamics, forgiveness, healing, survivor stories, therapy, mental health

Summary

In this conversation, Daniel shares his profound journey of healing from childhood trauma and sexual abuse. He discusses the complexities of uncovering repressed memories, the role of MDMA therapy in his recovery, and the challenges he faced in disclosing his experiences to his family. Daniel emphasizes the importance of understanding grooming and conditioning, the struggle with forgiveness, and the significance of sharing one's story as a means of reclaiming dignity and sovereignty. He also offers valuable insights for therapists working with survivors of trauma, highlighting the need for compassion and understanding in the healing process.

Takeaways

Daniel's journey began with a struggle against self-hatred and trauma.

MDMA therapy played a crucial role in uncovering repressed memories.

The process of reliving trauma can be both painful and transformative.

Family dynamics can complicate the disclosure of abuse.

Grooming and conditioning are key factors in understanding abuse.

Forgiveness is a complex and personal journey for survivors.

Setting boundaries is essential for healing and self-preservation.

Support networks are vital for survivors of trauma.

Sharing one's story can be empowering and healing.

Therapists should approach survivors with compassion and understanding.

Chapters (timings approx)

00:00 Introduction to Daniel's Journey

01:46 Uncovering Childhood Trauma

05:11 The Role of MDMA Therapy

08:37 The Impact of Repressed Memories

12:25 Family Dynamics and Disclosure

17:33 Understanding Grooming and Conditioning

21:48 The Complexity of Forgiveness

26:13 Advice for Therapists Working with Survivors

30:18 Finding Healing and Support

42:50 The Power of Sharing Your Story