• Ep64 The Dark Side of Belonging: When Connection Costs Too Much
    Aug 30 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    The foundation of every meaningful human connection lies in our fundamental needs for love and belonging. But have you ever wondered why you seek connection differently than others around you? Why some relationships feel effortless while others seem constantly challenging?

    In this revealing episode, Dr. Dar Hawks uncovers how your unique relationship blueprint determines the way you experience love and belonging. We all have five primary relationship needs – freedom, fun, power, safety/survival, and love/belonging – but one typically dominates our interaction style and expectations.

    Freedom-dominant individuals seek connections that respect their independence, while fun-centered people experience belonging through shared joy and playfulness. Those driven by power find fulfillment when their contributions are acknowledged, safety-oriented people prioritize trust and stability, and love/belonging-focused individuals thrive on deep emotional connection and unconditional acceptance.

    Dr. Hawks doesn't shy away from exploring the shadow side of our connection needs. When love and belonging go unfulfilled, we can develop unhealthy patterns – codependency, people-pleasing, fear-based attachment, and emotional manipulation. Particularly for empathetic, compassionate people, the tendency to sacrifice personal needs and boundaries in relationships can lead to resentment and burnout.

    The psychological impacts of unmet belonging needs extend far beyond temporary discomfort. Loneliness, social anxiety, depression, trust issues, and diminished self-worth can take root, affecting not just our relationships but our entire wellbeing. Dr. Hawks offers practical strategies for healing: practicing self-compassion, engaging in joyful activities, building supportive communities, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating self-awarenes

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

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    59 mins
  • Ep63 The Guilt Trap - How it causes harm to you and your relationships
    Aug 16 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    Dr. Dar Hawks explores how guilt becomes a destructive force when weaponized in relationships and offers practical strategies to recognize and overcome manipulative guilt tactics.

    • Guilt is a feeling arising when you believe you've violated your moral code or harmed someone
    • Healthy guilt helps us take responsibility while toxic guilt is manipulative and controlling
    • Empathetic and compassionate people are more prone to feeling guilty and vulnerable to manipulation
    • Manipulators use 23 different tactics including emotional blackmail, gaslighting, and undermining self-worth
    • Setting clear, non-negotiable boundaries is crucial to combat guilt manipulation
    • Cultural factors including religious teachings, family obligations, and gender roles influence guilt experiences
    • Guilt focuses on actions ("I did something wrong") while shame attacks the self ("I am wrong")
    • Weaponized guilt causes anxiety, erodes self-worth, and creates harmful power imbalances
    • Signs of manipulation include persistent reminders of past mistakes, refusing to accept boundaries, and continuous guilt tripping
    • Breaking free requires recognizing unhealthy patterns, self-reflection, and sometimes professional help

    Book a session with Dr. Dar Hawks at bookingsdrdarhhawks.com or take the relationship needs quiz at needsdrdarhhawks.com to understand how guilt impacts your relationships and learn how to transform guilt in your life.


    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

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    54 mins
  • Ep62 When Trust Breaks, Here's How to Put the Pieces Back Together
    Jul 31 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    What exactly constitutes cheating in a relationship? The answer varies dramatically from couple to couple, which is precisely why establishing a clear "cheating policy" is essential for healthy partnerships. Trust forms the foundation of our relationships, yet many couples avoid having crucial conversations about boundaries and expectations until after damage has already occurred.

    In this deeply personal exploration of relationship betrayal, we uncover over fifteen different forms of cheating that extend far beyond physical infidelity. From emotional connections and digital interactions to financial dishonesty and quality time violations, understanding these variations helps partners align on what constitutes betrayal in their unique relationship. Most couples assume they share the same definition of cheating without ever discussing it—a dangerous assumption that often leads to unintentional boundary violations.

    The motivation behind infidelity typically stems from deficiencies in five primary relationship needs: love and belonging, freedom, fun, safety and survival, and power. When these fundamental needs go unmet, partners may subconsciously seek fulfillment outside their relationship. By identifying which needs might be lacking, couples can proactively address potential vulnerabilities before betrayal occurs.

    Creating an effective cheating policy requires honest, judgment-free communication about expectations and boundaries. This isn't about restricting freedom but rather fostering transparency and mutual understanding. A comprehensive policy should include clear definitions, communication guidelines, consequences for both honoring and breaching agreements, and scheduled reviews to adapt as the relationship evolves.

    Rebuilding trust after betrayal is challenging but possible with consistent effort and often pr

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

    Show More Show Less
    59 mins
  • Ep61 When What Goes Unsaid Tears Us Apart: Managing Expectations in Relationships
    Jul 5 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    Ever found yourself thinking, "They should just know what I need"? That silent expectation might be quietly destroying your relationships. In this eye-opening exploration of unspoken and unrealistic expectations, Dr. Dar Hawks reveals why the standards we never verbalize become the invisible architects of our disappointment.

    When we expect perfection, constant happiness, or mind-reading abilities from our partners, we create impossible standards no real relationship can meet. Dr. Hawks breaks down how these expectations manifest differently depending on your primary relationship need – whether you prioritize love and belonging, freedom, fun, safety, or power. By understanding which need drives your expectations, you gain crucial insight into the assumptions you make about how others should treat you.

    The most powerful revelation? Fulfilling your expectations isn't primarily your partner's responsibility—it's yours. While others can contribute to meeting your needs, the accountability begins with you. Dr. Hawks offers practical strategies for communicating expectations effectively, setting realistic boundaries, and negotiating when expectations differ. She emphasizes the importance of discussing needs during moments of emotional clarity rather than heated arguments.

    Perhaps most transformative is becoming the exemplary model of your own expectations. When you consistently demonstrate the behaviors you desire—whether it's open communication, loyalty, or quality time—you create an environment where these values naturally flourish. This approach shifts relationships from battlegrounds of silent demands to spaces for genuine connection and mutual growth.

    Ready to transform your relationships? Take the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com to discover which need drives your expectations, or book a one

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

    Show More Show Less
    39 mins
  • Ep60 What We Expect vs. What We Express: Bridging the Gap in Relationships
    Jun 28 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    Ever wondered why some relationships crumble despite no obvious conflicts? The answer might lie in something invisible yet powerful: unmet expectations. Dr. Dar dives deep into what she calls "the silent relationship killer" – those unspoken guidelines that shape how we interact with others and experience emotions in our relationships.

    Expectations aren't merely hopes or desires; they're fundamental frameworks formed by our personal values, past experiences, and cultural influences. When left uncommunicated, these expectations create significant disconnects between partners, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and relationship deterioration. "Uncommunicated and unrealistic expectations always lead to upset in relationships," Dr. Dar emphasizes, highlighting the importance of bringing these hidden standards into the open.

    Financial expectations represent one of the most common battlegrounds in relationships. From differing views on income contribution and spending habits to approaches toward saving and debt management, money matters often trigger significant conflicts when expectations don't align. Dr. Dar offers practical guidance for addressing these differences, including establishing healthy financial habits together, clarifying responsibilities, and maintaining open communication about financial matters.

    Beyond romantic relationships, expectations influence all our connections – with friends, family members, coworkers, and managers. Each relationship type carries its own set of common expectations, many of which seem obvious but remain undiscussed. The consequences of these unmet expectations extend beyond momentary disappointment, potentially causing lasting damage through resentment, emotional distance, and communication breakdowns.

    The solution? Open, honest communication and explicit agreements abou

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

    Show More Show Less
    34 mins
  • Ep59 Instigating Change: When You Want Others to Transform
    May 23 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    Have you ever wished you could change your partner, family member, friend, or colleague? Dr. Dar Hawks challenges the common belief that "you can't change other people" by revealing a powerful truth: when you transform yourself, those around you often change in response.

    Forget about direct confrontation, ultimatums, or demands - these approaches typically trigger resistance and defensiveness. Instead, Dr. Dar introduces an indirect, influential method that works through what she calls "relationship electromagnetics" - the invisible forces governing our interactions. By changing your own behaviors, communication style, and the energy you bring to conversations, you create profound shifts without ever directly asking others to change.

    This transformative approach requires understanding that people react not only to who you are now, but to their memory of who you've been. Dr. Dar explains why consistency and patience are crucial as you break established patterns and create space for new perceptions to take root. Through compelling examples - from improving emotional intelligence to adopting healthier habits - she demonstrates how personal growth naturally inspires those around you to evolve alongside you.

    The episode delves into the impact of trauma on our capacity for change, the challenges of sustaining transformation, and the difference between trying to change someone's personality versus their behaviors. Dr. Dar offers practical questions to recalibrate your internal state before difficult conversations and shares strategies for creating environments where change feels like an invitation rather than an imposition.

    Ready to become the catalyst for positive transformation in your relationships? Take the relationship needs quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and discover how your personal growth can create ripple effect

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

    Show More Show Less
    55 mins
  • Ep58 Beyond Words: The Invisible Forces Shaping Your Relationship Pain
    Apr 24 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    Navigating emotional hurt in relationships requires understanding the complex dance between our inner worlds and interpersonal dynamics. When your partner's words sting, there's often more happening beneath the surface than meets the eye.

    The concept of emotional projection transforms how we interpret relationship pain. Your partner's criticisms, accusations, or dismissals frequently reflect their own unresolved issues rather than your shortcomings. By recognizing this psychological mechanism, you can avoid taking hurtful interactions personally while maintaining presence and compassion during difficult conversations.

    What makes this exploration particularly fascinating is the electromagnetic component of our interactions. Beyond words and body language, relationships operate within energetic fields where emotions create tangible atmospheres. This invisible dynamic explains why some connections feel instantly comfortable while others generate tension despite pleasant conversation. Understanding these energy patterns helps interpret what's truly happening when communication breaks down.

    Healing hurt feelings demands practical skills: using "I statements" to express pain without blame, choosing appropriate timing for sensitive discussions, asking open-ended questions that invite honest sharing, and practicing reflective listening that validates your partner's experience. These techniques create safe spaces where both partners can express vulnerability without fear of judgment or retaliation.

    The path forward requires patience, diplomatic communication, and sometimes professional guidance. By approaching relationship challenges as opportunities for deeper understanding and connection rather than battles to be won, couples transform pain into growth. Ready to heal your relationship hurts and build stronger connectio

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

    Show More Show Less
    29 mins
  • Ep57 Navigating Hurt Feelings: Beyond the Bottle Up or the Blow-Up
    Apr 8 2025

    I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

    That crushing sensation when your partner hurts your feelings can leave you frozen between two equally destructive options: swallowing your pain until it poisons you from within, or unleashing an emotional tsunami that damages everything in its path. But what if there's a third way?

    Dr. Dar reveals a diplomatic approach to addressing hurt feelings that creates healing rather than more wounds. At the heart of relationship miscommunication is a critical distinction most couples miss – the difference between facts and stories. When your partner looks at their phone during your conversation, the fact is they broke eye contact for 30 seconds. Your story might be "I don't matter to them." Learning to separate these elements transforms how you handle emotional pain.

    Through practical self-reflection questions and real-world examples, you'll discover how current hurts often connect to unresolved past experiences. This podcast provides a step-by-step framework for processing feelings, identifying which of your five fundamental relationship needs isn't being met, and crafting clear requests that prevent future hurt. The most surprising insight? These transformative conversations can happen in under a minute once you master the structure.

    Whether you're currently nursing hurt feelings or want to prepare for inevitable future misunderstandings, this episode offers a relationship-saving approach that honors your emotions while creating deeper connection. Ready to turn relationship pain into an opportunity for growth? Take the relationship needs quiz at needsdrdarhawks.com and discover which of the five fundamental needs drives your emotional responses.

    Welcome to The Better Relationships Podcast with Dr. Dar Hawks, your guide to building stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Each episode dives into Dr. Dar’s proven Relationship Success Framework, offering practical strategies to help you express your needs, handle difficult conversations, and nurture emotional harmony in all your relationships. Ready to understand yourself and your loved ones better? Take the free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and start your jou

    Did you know? Taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz doesn’t just give you insight—it also grants you free access to Dr. Dar’s Relationship Education Video Series and the Better Relationships Community. Inside, you’ll find monthly live events, grounded relationship guidance, and exclusive coaching rates—everything designed to help you feel supported and empowered in your relationships. Visit needs.drdarhawks.com to join our community today!



    Thanks for listening today! If something in this episode spoke to you, Dr. Dar would love to connect. You can book a consultation here or take the free quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com if you haven't done so yet. This podcast is for coaching support and education only.

    Support the show

    Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, Relationship Need @ https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, communication, and your relationship interactions.

    Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

    Follow me:
    LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
    Facebook: https://facebook.com/darshanahawks
    Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks

    Show More Show Less
    35 mins