Have you ever wondered what the exciting, challenging, and confusing teenage years look like from the perspective of someone who sees it first-hand? And have you considered how insightful that perspective can be for you as a parent? Today, we are joined by school counselor, Jake Fauver, to discuss the most common struggles teenagers face and how parents can help them navigate this transformative time. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the dangerous world of comparison for teens, how parents can become aware of internal struggles (even when it seems like their kid is fine), how to get boys to open up, and so much more! We delve into Jake’s role as a school counselor and hear about common issues he’s dealt with this week before discussing common myths about teenagers. Jake even shares some advice for parents about how to navigate difficult conversations with their teenagers. Finally, our guest discusses the importance of helping your teenagers see different perspectives. Thanks for listening in!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:19] Introducing today’s guest, school counselor, Jake Fauver.
• [0:03:51] The danger of the world of comparison for teenagers.
• [0:07:16] How parents can evaluate the mental health of their high-functioning teens.
• [0:10:31] Jake shares some tips for getting teenage boys to talk to people.
• [0:14:36] The kinds of challenges teenagers spoke to Jake about this week
• [0:19:13] Jake tells us exactly what he does as a school counselor.
• [0:20:56] Some tips on how to navigate difficult conversations for parents of teens.
• [0:24:52] Jake debunks some common myths about teenagers.
• [0:33:12] When and how to challenge your teenagers’ perspectives.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Jake Fauver on LinkedIn

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The end of the school year can be a whirlwind, both for teens and their parents! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore how to help your teenager close out the academic year with reflection and a sense of purpose. They unpack why May is such an emotionally complex month, how to prioritize conversations about growth rather than grades, and why summer is an ideal time for deeper check-ins. From celebrating quiet wins to letting go of disappointments with compassion, this episode is packed with insights on how to shift the focus from performance to progress. You’ll also hear why these conversations aren’t about fixing problems but creating space for your teen to feel seen, heard, and supported. Tune in to learn how to wrap up the school year in a way that sets the stage for a stronger, more intentional start to the next one!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:52] What teens and parents might be feeling as the year wraps up.
• [0:03:05] Choosing the right time to check in with your kids (when they aren’t too busy).
• [0:04:49] Questions to help them reflect on the past year.
• [0:06:29] Why you should praise your kid for growth, not just achievement.
• [0:09:33] A story of growth and self-confidence that Cathy observed in one of her kids.
• [0:11:50] Meredith’s account of a moment of empathy that shifted one student’s perspective.
• [0:12:56] Helping teens process disappointment with acceptance and compassion.
• [0:16:04] Give kids space over summer for decompression and reflection.
• [0:16:56] Making time to set intentions for the new school year.
• [0:18:49] Final tips on how to create a space where kids can authentically talk about their feelings.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What do you do when your teen insists they can’t go to bed because they still have hours of homework left, and you know they desperately need sleep? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack the nightly standoff between academic pressure and teen well-being. They dig into what’s really happening when teens claim they “don’t have time,” and explore the common culprits behind late-night work sessions, from overscheduling and distraction to anxiety and perfectionism. You’ll hear how to play the short game and the long game simultaneously as a parent, when to hold the line, and when to ask better questions. This episode also offers ways to bring teens into problem-solving, prioritize family values, and rethink what “success” should actually look like. Tune in for insights, empathy, and real-world strategies, plus a few rogue metaphors and laughs along the way!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:22] The sleep vs. homework dilemma teens and parents face.
• [0:07:09] How parents can help their kids balance sleep with school work.
• [0:14:09] Identifying the causes behind “I don’t have enough time” claims.
• [0:15:51] How mental health issues like perfectionism or ADHD can impact homework time.
• [0:16:59] The hidden time drain: distractions teens don’t realize are happening.
• [0:18:28] Why teens need real breaks after long days, not just go straight to homework.
• [0:21:12] Modern teen schedules compared to previous generations.
• [0:22:32] Why kids are overscheduled due to selective college pressures.
• [0:23:17] Using family values to guide academic and well-being decisions.
• [0:25:10] Helping teens build problem-solving skills instead of just enforcing rules.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The college journey puts parents and counselors in a delicate position: walking the fine line between dream supporter and dream crusher. Join Cathy and Meredith in their post-Spring Break episode as they dive into how you can both encourage and champion your kids while helping them maintain a healthy degree of balance while crafting their dream school list. They unpack the difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process is, how to balance goals and ambition with reality, the danger of dangling the carrot of a highly selective school in front of your children, and explore the reasons why trying (and applying to all the highly selective schools in the country) can be problematic! For all this, and as always, much more, be sure to tune in now! Thanks for listening!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:10] What we got up to for Spring Break 2025.
• [0:02:10] The topic of today’s episode: dream supporter vs dream crusher.
• [0:04:00] A common tightrope parents often have to walk.
• [0:05:30] Identifying schools with higher acceptance rates that still reflect the qualities and characteristics of your child’s top-choice, highly selective schools.
• [0:06:15] The difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process truly is.
• [0:07:45] Unpacking what a “Dream School” is: balancing goals and ambition with reality.
• [0:08:50] The danger of using highly selective colleges as a carrot for students to work hard.
• [0:09:30] Why the “reality” part of college admissions is hard for parents.
• [0:12:40] Parents displacing the dream-crushing conversation: when it’s okay and not.
• [0:17:00] Can you support the dream but also balance the fine line of reality?
• [0:18:40] Where, as a parent, are you willing to disappoint your child, and where are you not?
• [0:19:40] Encouraging your child to go after what they want with a healthy dose of balance.
• [0:21:00] What’s wrong with trying? (Applying to all the highly selective schools in the country.)
• [0:22:55] What supporting the dream does and does not mean (in our opinions).

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We recently read a Forbes article about why your kid needs to attend a competitive summer program, and we have some thoughts. Join us as we get the facts straight about the article in question and break down what you need to be aware of when it comes to these expensive summer programs that claim to give your child an edge when applying for elite colleges. Find out how many of these programs misrepresent themselves (like by suggesting they are more selective than they are), the handful of programs that are credible, and how to tell the difference. We also discuss how these articles are specifically targeted at parents and teens, why their contribution to the media ecosystem is so harmful, and how to recognize when you are being marketed to. Tune in to get the full scoop on what to be aware of when it comes to these summer programs and their bold claims!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:00:42] The Forbes article we are discussing and why we are annoyed by it.
• [0:02:30] Article points we agreed with and the benefits of a program like this.
• [0:02:56] Why a summer program won’t necessarily help you stand out at elite colleges.
• [0:03:53] A breakdown of how many of these programs misrepresent themselves.
• [0:05:43] Clarifying which summer school programs are as selective as they claim.
• [0:08:36] How parents can navigate misinformation, especially regarding these programs.
• [0:10:37] A reminder that you cannot control the outcomes of highly selective colleges.
• [0:11:57] Critiques on how dishonest and exploitative these types of articles can be.
• [0:14:37] What truly matters for your child’s long-term development.
• [0:16:50] How you can get in touch with questions and suggestions about today’s topic.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

'Why Your High Schooler Should Attend A Competitive Academic Summer Program—And Which Ones You Can Still Apply To' COSMOS Pre-College Program Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Sometimes, disciplinary issues are signs of deeper pain or turmoil in our children, making it important to step back and see things from a new perspective. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith dive into the various complexities of school disciplinary issues. They break down how different schools might handle these situations, share real examples of what you as a parent can expect, and offer practical advice on how parents can best support their kids through the process. From the importance of reading the school’s handbook to knowing what to do (and what not to do), they cover it all. They discuss the importance of proportional responses to disciplinary issues and share why it’s crucial children learn from their mistakes and walk out their consequences with appropriately supportive parents. It’s about guiding them through the process while encouraging them to own their mistakes, not covering them up or making the problem disappear. Don’t miss another insightful conversation with Cathy and Meredith, be sure to tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:20] We introduce today’s topic of discussion: disciplinary issues in school.
• [0:03:00] You get a phone call, your kid has been busted: what next?
• [0:03:20] We look at an example of academic dishonesty.
• [0:04:10] Parents! Read your school’s handbook!
• [0:04:50] What parents should and should not do.
• [0:06:38] The best thing parents can do to help their kids through a disciplinary proceeding.
• [0:07:45] What the disciplinary process (actually) looks like.
• [0:11:00] The different types of disciplinary issues.
• [0:17:20] Issues that are not as uncommon as you might think.
• [0:20:00] The appropriate consequence and how that point is reached.
• [0:22:24] Disciplinary issues and mental health.
• [0:23:00] Our advice on how you, as a parent, can support your child.
• [0:25:04] The importance of proportional responses to disciplinary issues.
• [0:30:40] Why kids need to learn from their mistakes and work through their consequences (with the support of their parents!)
• [0:33:00] Disciplinary issues as a signal to deeper pain.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Our world is increasingly obsessed with excellence and exceptionalism. As a result, more and more parents are fixating on how to make sure their kid is everything but mediocre. But is mediocrity really something parents should be panicking over? And could their efforts actually be doing more harm than good? Today, we deconstruct all the fears parents have around mediocrity and examine how hard you should be pushing your kids when, statistically, most of us are pretty average. We dig into the harms of pushing for exceptionalism, why too much pressure and overparenting will likely reduce your teen’s ability to be exceptional, and how to accept – and celebrate! – that your child might be average. Our conversation also unpacks the skills that will help your kids thrive in the long run, how to cultivate them, and why trying different things (that they might be bad at) is critical for their development. Tune in now for a refreshing perspective on parenting that might just change how you see success!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:21] Why being mediocre isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be.
• [0:04:31] Which parenting circles tend to fixate on exceptionalism.
• [0:05:17] How obsessing over exceptionalism is harming kids.
• [0:07:20] The downsides of overparenting: what the research shows us.
• [0:09:15] Why we need to recognize that most teens are simply normal teenagers.
• [0:11:16] Cultivating skills and characteristics that lead to long-term success.
• [0:16:51] The difficulty of going against a culture of exceptionalism.
• [0:19:45] How to embrace, support, and accept your kids for who they are.
• [0:22:17] Why you should encourage your kid to find joy and try things they are bad at.
• [0:27:26] How to approach challenges as a positive model for your kids.
• [0:28:27] Meredith and Cathy set each other challenges to get out of their comfort zones.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Madeline Levine Books

The Rest is History Podcast

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Many parents wonder if allowing their teens to explore multiple interests in high school might hurt their chances of getting into a top-tier college. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith tackle a listener question about whether their ninth grader should focus on one passion early or continue exploring a diverse range of interests. They break down the myth of the "perfect admissions hook," the harsh reality of ultra-competitive college acceptance rates, and how admissions officers actually evaluate students. They also discuss the risks of forcing specialization too soon, the importance of encouraging genuine intellectual curiosity, and why a well-rounded, thriving teen is more important than a hyper-focused résumé. To hear why pushing too hard can backfire and how to support your teen in a way that truly benefits their growth and future, tune in today!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:05] A parent’s big question: should my teen start specializing now?
• [0:02:54] Focusing on thriving, not just college admissions.
• [0:04:58] Facing the facts: statistically, elite schools reject almost everyone.
• [0:07:06] The sometimes boring truth about the “all-in” specialist kid.
• [0:08:24] What really makes a student stand out in applications.
• [0:10:48] The risks of forcing a teenager into a narrow path too soon.
• [0:12:34] Reasons that some kids rebel when parents push too hard.
• [0:15:16] Why college admission is not the only measure of success.
• [0:16:20] The illusion of control and the impact of putting too much pressure on teens.
• [0:18:59] Playing the long game by preparing your kid for life, not just a school!
• [0:21:04] Real talk about how even the best kids don’t always get into top colleges.
• [0:23:09] Rethinking what “success” really means and how to support your kid.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram