Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why some children seem to worry about everything, from strange noises to monsters under the bed, even when nothing dangerous is happening.

• How to tell the difference between anxiety, a highly sensitive temperament, and a nervous system that's simply taking in the world more intensely.

• Why your response to your child's fears may matter more than finding the perfect explanation or reassurance.

• The subtle ways parents can accidentally strengthen anxiety, and what to do instead.

• What behaviors like lip picking, nail biting, or constantly chewing on things may actually be communicating.

• Simple ways to help your child's nervous system feel calmer without making anxiety the center of attention.

• When it's worth seeking professional guidance, and why getting support early doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.

If your preschooler seems to worry about everyday things, startles easily, or always seems to be on high alert, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those behaviors and give you practical, compassionate strategies to help them feel safer, more regulated, and more confident.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can support your sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most impactful parenting conversations in Securely Attached history.

Few moments are more heartbreaking than hearing your child say, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," "I hate myself," or even, "I wish I wasn't here." Our instinct is often to reassure them, convince them they're wrong, or make those painful feelings disappear as quickly as possible. But what if those words are actually your child's way of communicating something much deeper?

In this conversation, Dr. Emily Upshur joins me to explore what negative self-talk is really telling us, how to respond in the moment, and how to help children build resilience, confidence, and a healthier inner voice over time.

Together we discuss:

• What children are often trying to communicate when they use harsh or self-critical language.

• Why our first instinct to reassure or correct may not be the most helpful response.

• What to say in the moment when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," or "I hate myself."

• How to respond differently with preschoolers, school-age children, and older kids.

• Why it's important to look beneath the words to the feelings driving them.

• How to recognize when negative self-talk is becoming a repeated pattern.

• Why calm, connected debriefs are often more effective than trying to solve everything in the moment.

• Practical ways to build resilience, confidence, and a growth mindset in everyday life.

• How to model healthy self-talk and coping skills for your child.

• Why these moments, while unsettling, can become powerful opportunities for connection and emotional growth.

This conversation offers a compassionate framework for responding to some of the most difficult things a child can say. Rather than reacting from fear or rushing to make the feelings disappear, we remind you that these moments are invitations to connect, understand what your child is really experiencing, and help them develop the emotional skills they'll carry with them for years to come.

⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐

If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get stuck saying "no" to the smallest requests.

• What your child's resistance may actually be communicating, and why it often has very little to do with the task itself.

• A simple shift that can help break the cycle when every request seems to turn into a power struggle.

• Why giving your child more opportunities for independence can actually make them more willing to cooperate when it really matters.

• How to approach recurring battles, like tooth brushing, in a way that invites collaboration instead of more resistance.

• The one conversation to have before trying another consequence, reward, or punishment.

• Why sometimes the fastest way forward is to slow down and reset the relationship first.

If your child keeps saying "no" or seems to turn everyday routines into a battle of wills, this episode will help you understand what's really driving the behavior and give you practical strategies to build more cooperation without getting pulled into constant power struggles.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

Dr. Ross Greene and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Why toddlers often sound rude or demanding without actually intending to be.

• The developmental reason young children focus on getting their needs met rather than how their words affect others.

• When to gently teach manners in the moment and when it's better to focus on connection instead.

• How to model polite language without creating shame or turning every interaction into a correction.

• Why understanding what's underneath your child's words can help you respond with more patience and less frustration.

• How to tell the difference between a child who is simply being direct and one who is becoming overwhelmed or dysregulated.

• Simple ways to encourage respectful communication through modeling, playfulness, and everyday practice.

Whether your toddler barks orders, interrupts constantly, or seems to demand things instead of asking politely, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those moments and show you how to teach respectful communication in a way that supports your child's development while strengthening your relationship.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can help your child learn to be patient when they wants my attention immediately

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence with Devon Kuntzman

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate you"

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most downloaded and talked-about episodes in Securely Attached history.

Few parenting topics generate as much confusion, anxiety, and conflicting advice as sleep. In this conversation, neuroscientist, doula, and author of The Nurture Revolution, Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, joins me to explore what the science actually tells us about infant sleep, sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and the role responsiveness plays in early brain development.

Together we discuss:

• Whether night waking is a normal and developmentally expected part of infant sleep.

• What neuroscience tells us about how babies learn to feel safe during sleep.

• What sleep training does and does not change about infant sleep.

• The different approaches to sleep training and how they compare.

• The science behind contact sleep, room sharing, and bed sharing.

• How societal expectations around sleep can contribute to parental anxiety and guilt.

• Ways to support your baby's sleep while honoring both your child's needs and your own.

• How to think about sleep decisions without shame, fear, or pressure.

• Why it is never too late to strengthen connection and secure attachment, regardless of the sleep choices you've made in the past.

This conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed perspective on one of parenting's most emotionally charged topics. Rather than telling parents what they should or should not do, Dr. Kirshenbaum empowers families with the information they need to make informed decisions that feel right for their unique child, their mental health, and their family. Most importantly, this episode reminds us that parenting is not about perfection. It is about understanding our children, responding with intention, and building connection one moment at a time.

⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐

If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead.

• The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits.

• How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely.

• Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach.

• Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing.

• Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles.

• Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.

Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to set limits, support independence, and reduce meltdowns with Devon Kuntzman

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help your child fall asleep with Eileen Henry

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!