Guiding Question: What hidden enemies can sabotage a man's pursuit of God's adventure—and how do we fight back?

1. “Adventure Busters” are common to all men. Just like bombs that penetrate deep into enemy territory, these five "adventure busters" can sabotage the journey God intends for every man:

• The Double Life – When what a man says no longer matches what he does.

• Sexual Shortcuts – Choosing short-term pleasure over long-term purpose.

• Life-Draining Marriage Problems – Conflicts with a spouse that go unresolved and lead to bitterness.

• Life-Defining Wounds – Past traumas (especially from parents) that still shape the present.

• Life-Paralyzing Addictions – Behaviors once thought manageable that now dominate.

• Marriage was meant to be a source of joy and partnership, but can become a battleground.

• Wrong Responses:

  • Withdrawal: Trying to fix the problem alone.

  • Intimidation: Using power or anger to control.

• Right Responses:

  1. Keep learning about marriage and your spouse.

  2. Strive to understand even if you disagree.

  3. Be willing to say “I’m sorry” sincerely.

  4. Seek outside help early.

  5. Keep short accounts—don’t let bitterness grow.

• Definition: An unresolved issue from the past that harms the present.

• Types of Wounds:

  • Father Wound: Absence, abuse, or disapproval from dad.

  • Overcontrolling Mother Wound: A mother’s overreach stunts a boy’s manhood.

  • Trauma Wounds: Abuse, divorce, death, or spiritual trauma.

• Healing Steps:

  1. Name the wound.

  2. Seek help and make a plan.

  3. Face the wound with courage.

• Healing leads to freedom, forward movement, and deeper connection with others.

• Addictions begin with pleasure or escape and evolve into slavery.

• Common Addictions in Men:

  1. Sexual (especially internet pornography)

  2. Drug

  3. Alcohol

  4. Anger

  5. Gambling

• Break Free By:

  • Getting honest—listen to what others are saying.

  • Getting real—freedom requires a team: God, counseling, support groups.

• Beating a buster makes you a hero—not just in this life, but in God's kingdom.

• God turns negatives into positives. He redeems wounds and uses them to bless others.

• The great adventure isn’t lived without a fight, but it is worth it.

• Proverbs 16:25 – “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

• 1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands… be considerate… treat them with respect as the weaker partner.”

• Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives and do not become embittered against them.”

• 1 Peter 3:7 – “Live with your wives in an understanding way.”

• Luke 21:34 – “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life.”

What are the hidden dangers that sabotage a man's adventure—and are you letting any of them define you?

• Beware the “Adventure Busters”: Robert Lewis introduces the concept of “Adventure Busters”—internal and external forces that derail a man’s pursuit of a meaningful life. These include secret sins, unresolved wounds, or culturally normalized behaviors that quietly erode a man’s soul and impact.

• The Double Life: One of the most common and destructive adventure busters. Many men compartmentalize their lives, presenting a polished exterior while hiding secret struggles. This leads to fragmentation, isolation, and eventual collapse.

  • Living two lives is exhausting.

  • It robs men of authenticity, joy, and real intimacy.

  • The only solution is courageous honesty—first with God, then with safe others.

• Sexual Shortcuts: Robert Lewis directly confronts the destructive influence of pornography and casual sexual behavior.

  • These “shortcuts” promise intimacy and excitement, but deliver shame and disconnection.

  • Pornography is not just a private issue—it affects how men see women, relationships, and themselves.

  • Sexual purity is not about repression but restoration—recovering God’s good design for sex.

• God’s Design for Sex:

  • It is good, powerful, and purposeful.

  • Meant to be expressed in covenantal love—marriage.

  • Misuse leads to wounds, while rightly ordered sex brings deep joy and unity.

• Shame Is a Lie: Lewis makes clear: the goal is not to heap guilt, but to extend grace and freedom. Every man has struggles. What matters is whether you stay stuck in silence or step forward into healing.

• Five Practical Tools for Restoration:

  1. Personal honesty – Acknowledge the problem without rationalizing it.

  2. Accountability – Regular check-ins with trustworthy men.

  3. Boundaries – Proactively avoid triggers and access points.

  4. Spiritual renewal – Prayer, Scripture, and surrender.

  5. Vision – See purity not as avoidance but as a greater “yes” to joy and impact.

• Setting Up for Part 2: This is part one of a two-part teaching. Lewis hints that next week will cover more adventure busters—wounds, lies, and unresolved issues from a man’s past that continue to shape his present.

• Ephesians 5:11–14 – Exposing deeds of darkness and walking in light.

• Matthew 5:8 – “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

• Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 – God’s will: sanctification and sexual purity.

• James 5:16 – Confess your sins to one another and be healed.

• Romans 12:1–2 – Present your bodies as a living sacrifice; be transformed by renewing your mind.

What’s your North Star—and do you have a clear vision of what you want to be, do, and leave behind before you die?

• Living with the End in Mind, Practically: Robert Lewis introduces a practical life tool called the “North Star”—a simple but profound exercise to help men clarify their life purpose. It’s a personal vision statement built around this prompt: “Before I die, I want to…” Completing that phrase across several categories helps a man live with intentionality.

• Key Categories for the North Star Tool:

  1. Be – Who do you want to become?

  2. Do – What do you want to accomplish?

  3. Have – What experiences or possessions do you desire?

  4. Help – Who do you want to serve or impact?

  5. Enjoy – What brings you joy that you want to prioritize?

  6. Leave – What legacy do you want to leave behind?

• The Danger of Drift: Many men go through life burdened and bent by responsibilities, pressures, and comparison—Robert calls this the “reactive life.” It leads to burnout and purposelessness. Instead, he urges men to live a “proactive life,” guided by purpose, conviction, and vision.

• Two Ways to Live:

  1. Comparing and Competing – Living based on what others do or have, leading to exhaustion and envy.

  2. Envisioning and Enjoying – Living by looking forward, anchored in a personal vision, leading to clarity and joy.

• Personal Vulnerability and Modeling: Robert shares his own “before I die” goals—ranging from coaching football again to writing a screenplay and helping plant 100 transformational churches. He models how this exercise applies at any age, affirming that it's never too late to start dreaming—or start over.

• Encouragement by Age:

  • For Older Men: It’s not too late. Reclaim your second half.

  • For Younger Men: Start now. Your dreams can be purer, bigger, and more long-lasting if formed early.

  • For Everyone: This tool is your compass, your GPS, and your life’s alignment check.

• Final Charge: Robert emphasizes that crafting this North Star vision may be the most important thing a man ever does as an adventurer. It shapes not just what he does, but who he becomes and how deeply he lives.

• Ecclesiastes 4:4 – Rivalry and comparison as vanity.

• Ephesians 5:15–16 – Walk wisely and make the most of your time.

• Proverbs 16:9 – A man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

• Genesis 1:28 – God’s design for man and his purposes.

• Proverbs 20:5 – Drawing out the deep purposes of a person’s heart.