Guiding Question: What hidden enemies can sabotage a man's pursuit of God's adventure—and how do we fight back?

1. “Adventure Busters” are common to all men. Just like bombs that penetrate deep into enemy territory, these five "adventure busters" can sabotage the journey God intends for every man:

• The Double Life – When what a man says no longer matches what he does.

• Sexual Shortcuts – Choosing short-term pleasure over long-term purpose.

• Life-Draining Marriage Problems – Conflicts with a spouse that go unresolved and lead to bitterness.

• Life-Defining Wounds – Past traumas (especially from parents) that still shape the present.

• Life-Paralyzing Addictions – Behaviors once thought manageable that now dominate.

• Marriage was meant to be a source of joy and partnership, but can become a battleground.

• Wrong Responses:

  • Withdrawal: Trying to fix the problem alone.

  • Intimidation: Using power or anger to control.

• Right Responses:

  1. Keep learning about marriage and your spouse.

  2. Strive to understand even if you disagree.

  3. Be willing to say “I’m sorry” sincerely.

  4. Seek outside help early.

  5. Keep short accounts—don’t let bitterness grow.

• Definition: An unresolved issue from the past that harms the present.

• Types of Wounds:

  • Father Wound: Absence, abuse, or disapproval from dad.

  • Overcontrolling Mother Wound: A mother’s overreach stunts a boy’s manhood.

  • Trauma Wounds: Abuse, divorce, death, or spiritual trauma.

• Healing Steps:

  1. Name the wound.

  2. Seek help and make a plan.

  3. Face the wound with courage.

• Healing leads to freedom, forward movement, and deeper connection with others.

• Addictions begin with pleasure or escape and evolve into slavery.

• Common Addictions in Men:

  1. Sexual (especially internet pornography)

  2. Drug

  3. Alcohol

  4. Anger

  5. Gambling

• Break Free By:

  • Getting honest—listen to what others are saying.

  • Getting real—freedom requires a team: God, counseling, support groups.

• Beating a buster makes you a hero—not just in this life, but in God's kingdom.

• God turns negatives into positives. He redeems wounds and uses them to bless others.

• The great adventure isn’t lived without a fight, but it is worth it.

• Proverbs 16:25 – “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

• 1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands… be considerate… treat them with respect as the weaker partner.”

• Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives and do not become embittered against them.”

• 1 Peter 3:7 – “Live with your wives in an understanding way.”

• Luke 21:34 – “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life.”

What are the hidden dangers that sabotage a man's adventure—and are you letting any of them define you?

• Beware the “Adventure Busters”: Robert Lewis introduces the concept of “Adventure Busters”—internal and external forces that derail a man’s pursuit of a meaningful life. These include secret sins, unresolved wounds, or culturally normalized behaviors that quietly erode a man’s soul and impact.

• The Double Life: One of the most common and destructive adventure busters. Many men compartmentalize their lives, presenting a polished exterior while hiding secret struggles. This leads to fragmentation, isolation, and eventual collapse.

  • Living two lives is exhausting.

  • It robs men of authenticity, joy, and real intimacy.

  • The only solution is courageous honesty—first with God, then with safe others.

• Sexual Shortcuts: Robert Lewis directly confronts the destructive influence of pornography and casual sexual behavior.

  • These “shortcuts” promise intimacy and excitement, but deliver shame and disconnection.

  • Pornography is not just a private issue—it affects how men see women, relationships, and themselves.

  • Sexual purity is not about repression but restoration—recovering God’s good design for sex.

• God’s Design for Sex:

  • It is good, powerful, and purposeful.

  • Meant to be expressed in covenantal love—marriage.

  • Misuse leads to wounds, while rightly ordered sex brings deep joy and unity.

• Shame Is a Lie: Lewis makes clear: the goal is not to heap guilt, but to extend grace and freedom. Every man has struggles. What matters is whether you stay stuck in silence or step forward into healing.

• Five Practical Tools for Restoration:

  1. Personal honesty – Acknowledge the problem without rationalizing it.

  2. Accountability – Regular check-ins with trustworthy men.

  3. Boundaries – Proactively avoid triggers and access points.

  4. Spiritual renewal – Prayer, Scripture, and surrender.

  5. Vision – See purity not as avoidance but as a greater “yes” to joy and impact.

• Setting Up for Part 2: This is part one of a two-part teaching. Lewis hints that next week will cover more adventure busters—wounds, lies, and unresolved issues from a man’s past that continue to shape his present.

• Ephesians 5:11–14 – Exposing deeds of darkness and walking in light.

• Matthew 5:8 – “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

• Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 – God’s will: sanctification and sexual purity.

• James 5:16 – Confess your sins to one another and be healed.

• Romans 12:1–2 – Present your bodies as a living sacrifice; be transformed by renewing your mind.

What’s your North Star—and do you have a clear vision of what you want to be, do, and leave behind before you die?

• Living with the End in Mind, Practically: Robert Lewis introduces a practical life tool called the “North Star”—a simple but profound exercise to help men clarify their life purpose. It’s a personal vision statement built around this prompt: “Before I die, I want to…” Completing that phrase across several categories helps a man live with intentionality.

• Key Categories for the North Star Tool:

  1. Be – Who do you want to become?

  2. Do – What do you want to accomplish?

  3. Have – What experiences or possessions do you desire?

  4. Help – Who do you want to serve or impact?

  5. Enjoy – What brings you joy that you want to prioritize?

  6. Leave – What legacy do you want to leave behind?

• The Danger of Drift: Many men go through life burdened and bent by responsibilities, pressures, and comparison—Robert calls this the “reactive life.” It leads to burnout and purposelessness. Instead, he urges men to live a “proactive life,” guided by purpose, conviction, and vision.

• Two Ways to Live:

  1. Comparing and Competing – Living based on what others do or have, leading to exhaustion and envy.

  2. Envisioning and Enjoying – Living by looking forward, anchored in a personal vision, leading to clarity and joy.

• Personal Vulnerability and Modeling: Robert shares his own “before I die” goals—ranging from coaching football again to writing a screenplay and helping plant 100 transformational churches. He models how this exercise applies at any age, affirming that it's never too late to start dreaming—or start over.

• Encouragement by Age:

  • For Older Men: It’s not too late. Reclaim your second half.

  • For Younger Men: Start now. Your dreams can be purer, bigger, and more long-lasting if formed early.

  • For Everyone: This tool is your compass, your GPS, and your life’s alignment check.

• Final Charge: Robert emphasizes that crafting this North Star vision may be the most important thing a man ever does as an adventurer. It shapes not just what he does, but who he becomes and how deeply he lives.

• Ecclesiastes 4:4 – Rivalry and comparison as vanity.

• Ephesians 5:15–16 – Walk wisely and make the most of your time.

• Proverbs 16:9 – A man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

• Genesis 1:28 – God’s design for man and his purposes.

• Proverbs 20:5 – Drawing out the deep purposes of a person’s heart.

What do you really believe about eternity—and is that your final answer?

• Faith Decisions Shape Everything: Robert Lewis opens with the bold claim that faith decisions are the most important decisions a man will ever make. Everyone lives by some assumption about eternity—even choosing not to believe is, itself, a belief system. These beliefs influence our daily actions more than we realize.

• The Sacred Ground of the Mind: Continuing a theme from earlier sessions, Lewis calls this internal space of reflection “sacred ground.” It’s where men weigh their end, envision eternity, and measure today’s choices in light of that vision.

• Everyone Lives by One of Four Views:

  1. Nobody sees and nobody cares.

  2. Somebody sees, but it doesn’t matter.

  3. Somebody sees and is keeping score.

  4. Somebody sees and wants to help. These views are not just abstract—they shape how men live, lead, and make decisions today.

• Comparison of Major World Religions: Lewis walks through what major world religions teach about the afterlife—Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Mormonism—and notes they all share one common element: earning heaven through good works. Christianity stands apart by offering a relationship with a Savior who offers help, not a checklist.

• Robert Lewis’s Personal Journey: He vulnerably shares his own story—growing up in a chaotic home, experiencing inner turmoil in college, and ultimately reaching for Christ at age 18. That decision reshaped both his present and eternal life.

• The Two Circles Illustration: Lewis explains his theology using two circles:

  • Top Circle – What Jesus Christ has done for me:

    • Forgiveness of sins

    • Eternal life

    • Adoption as a child of God

  • Bottom Circle – What Jesus Christ desires to do in me:

    • Abundant life

    • Good works

    • Loving others well The top circle guarantees salvation (unchangeable), while the bottom circle reflects daily discipleship (changeable and rewardable).

• Eternal Impact of Daily Choices: While salvation is secured through faith in Christ, rewards in heaven are determined by how faithfully we walk with Him. Lewis emphasizes this doesn’t determine if you get in, but it shapes how you live there.

• • A: It’s over.

  • B: It’s not over, and everyone will be fine.

  • C: It’s not over, and I’m good enough.

  • D: It’s not over, and I’ll need help.

    Final Challenge: “Is That Your Final Answer?” Echoing Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Lewis asks each listener to confront their deepest belief about eternity. Options:

• Colossians 2:13–14 – Forgiveness of sins.

• 1 John 5:11–13 – Assurance of eternal life.

• John 1:12 – Becoming a child of God.

• John 10:10 – “I came that they may have life...”

• Ephesians 2:10 – Created for good works.

• John 15:12 – Loving others as Christ has loved.

• Philippians 3:20–21 – Citizenship in heaven and transformed bodies.

• 1 Corinthians 3:10–15 – Eternal rewards and loss.

What will heaven really be like, and how should the promise of eternity shape the way I live today?

• The Power of Envisioning the End: Robert Lewis continues the theme of “sacred ground”—reflecting on death and eternity—as essential to a well-lived life. He illustrates this with the story of Alfred Nobel, whose accidental obituary inspired him to reshape his legacy. Similarly, men are called to think ahead to their end and live accordingly.

• Two Worldviews, Four Outcomes: Building on the previous week, Lewis recaps the two metaphysical worldviews (traditional religious vs. secular scientism) and the four outcomes people commonly choose regarding the afterlife. Most Americans believe in an afterlife, but their assumptions vary widely.

• Heaven Described as Dynamic, Relational, and Rewarding: Lewis dismantles the dull, caricatured views of heaven (clouds, harps, robes) and instead offers six compelling biblical insights:

  1. A place of resolution – where life’s injustices and mysteries are clarified.

  2. A place of altered states – where we receive transformed, physical-yet-glorified bodies, capable of operating in new dimensions.

  3. A place of personal rewards – where how we lived matters eternally; faithfulness is honored with real commendation and reward.

  4. A place of new status and position – where people’s earthly faithfulness determines their roles and responsibilities.

  5. A place of adventure and creation – not a static eternity, but one full of exploration, challenges, and creativity.

  6. A place of endless surprises – experiences beyond our imagination, prepared by a generous and relational God.

• Not Everyone Will Go There: The Bible is clear that there will be judgment. Heaven is not universal, and not everyone will enter. The big question isn’t just how good you are—but whether you recognize your need for help.

• Sobering and Motivating: Lewis calls men to be honest about where they stand in relation to eternity, challenging the idea of being “good enough” and urging listeners to grapple with grace and truth.

• 1 Corinthians 9:26 – Living with aim and intention.

• 1 Corinthians 13:12 – “Now I know in part; then I shall know fully...”

• Ecclesiastes 12:14 – “God will bring every deed into judgment...”

• 1 Corinthians 15:19 – “If only for this life we have hope in Christ...”

• John 14:2 – “I go to prepare a place for you.”

• 1 Corinthians 3:12–15 – Works tested by fire, rewards given.

• Matthew 19:27–30 – Rewards and positions in the kingdom.

• 1 Corinthians 2:9 – “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard...”

• Matthew 25:31–46 – Separation of the sheep and the goats.

Are you living with the end in mind, and how does your view of eternity shape the way you live today?

• Sacred Ground as a Mental and Physical Space: Robert Lewis introduces the concept of “sacred ground”—a moment or place, whether physical or internal, where we reflect deeply on what matters most. These encounters can reorient our lives, helping us clarify what is truly worth living and dying for.

• Orientation Determines Destination: Using the metaphor of an "adventurer's wiring," Lewis maps a man’s life from birth to death and eternity. Right orientation—knowing where you are going and aligning your present with that end—is essential for a meaningful life.

• The Power of Contemplating the End: Lewis urges men to regularly reflect on death and eternity—not as a morbid exercise, but as a life-shaping habit. This contemplation leads to better decisions, deeper satisfaction, and a clearer sense of purpose.

• Two Competing Worldviews: He contrasts the traditional religious worldview (which affirms divine origin, design, eternity, and ultimate meaning) with secular scientism (which views life as a random accident with no ultimate purpose). Every person lives according to one of these views, consciously or not.

• Peripheral Vision and Metaphysics: Just as athletes rely on peripheral vision, men need “metaphysical vision”—the ability to see the bigger picture beyond the immediate. This vision shapes our everyday choices and values.

• Four Views of the End:

  1. Dead End – Life ends with death, nothing follows.

  2. Blind Optimism – “Everything will be okay” without reason or clarity.

  3. Good Enough – Based on self-evaluation and comparison to others.

  4. I Need Help – Recognizes the need for grace and divine help—this is where Christianity uniquely speaks.

• Why the Christian Vision of the End Matters: Contrary to caricatures of heaven as boring or irrelevant, Lewis teases that the Bible offers a compelling vision of eternity—one worth exploring deeply in coming weeks. Christianity uniquely answers the human longing for meaning, justice, and hope beyond the grave.

• 2 Corinthians 4:18 – “...the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

• Ecclesiastes 3:11 – “He has also set eternity in the human heart...”

• 1 Corinthians 15:32 – “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” (Referenced indirectly through Paul's quote)

How does a man make wise, lasting decisions in the chaos of life—and what role does his unique wiring play in creating a meaningful legacy?

• Life Feels Like Air Traffic Control. With so many pressures, obligations, and decisions swirling around, it’s easy for a man to lose his way. Wise living depends on good "wiring."

• Wiring = How You're Made + What You've Lived + Where You're Headed. Robert Lewis presents a model where your design, past experiences, present convictions and problems, and future vision all feed into how you navigate life.

• Your Design Matters. Every man is uniquely made with talents, abilities, motivations, and God-given strengths (Psalm 139:14). Knowing your design helps you find energy and fulfillment in your pursuits.

• The Past Always Carries Over.

  • Positives (e.g., strong family, success, faith) can empower your present.

  • Negatives (e.g., wounds, broken relationships, shame) act like hidden cancers if unaddressed. Until past wounds are faced and healed, they will sabotage your current pursuits.

• Convictions Anchor You. Many men lack real convictions. True convictions aren’t just beliefs—they’re values you live by and can prove with your actions. Without convictions, men drift.

• Problems Are Destabilizers. The big four: marriage, children, job, and money. If unaddressed, these problems quietly wreck your wiring and pull you off course. Facing them honestly is part of godly manhood.

• Future Vision Pulls You Forward. Knowing where you’re going—your dreams and God’s purposes—keeps you moving with clarity. Most men lack defined dreams or plans and get lost in the fog of routine.

• Legacy and Destiny Matter. Life isn’t just about success—it’s about legacy and eternity. What happens when you die? Your answer to that shapes how you live today.

• Self-Evaluation is Key. Robert offers a "circuit tester" exercise: Evaluate each aspect of your wiring (design, past, convictions, etc.) and label it with a "+" (healthy) or "–" (unhealthy). Where you see a negative, that’s where your next life adventure must begin.

• The Goal is Full-Life Manhood. One path leads to a dead-end half-life manhood: pressured, lost, isolated. The other leads to life-giving adventure: healed, purposed, future-facing.

• Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Affirms God’s intentional design in every person.)

• Proverbs 15:22 – “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” (Wise men seek help.)

• Ecclesiastes 12:1, 7 – "Remember your Creator… the spirit returns to God." (Life is short. Eternity is real.)

• Ecclesiastes 2:24; 3:11; 5:18; 9:9 – Various calls to enjoy life as a gift, yet live with eternity in view.

• John 10:10 – “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (True life comes through Christ.)

What does it take to make a life, not just a living—and how do I re-engage when life starts to feel flat, numb, or overly burdened?

• Anyone can make a living—but it takes adventure to make a life. Many men settle into half-life manhood: successful but unsatisfied, responsible but restless.

• Four core life adventures define whole-life manhood:

  1. Family Adventure – Reproducing life in your children through intentional, hands-on fatherhood that shapes their character and future.

  2. Noble Cause Adventure – Fighting for something bigger than yourself that contributes to others’ lives, moving from mere success to significance.

  3. Man-Size Adventure – Making space for fun and rejuvenating experiences; planning for joy and making memories that sustain you.

  4. Spiritual Adventure – Experiencing a relationship with God that brings eternal perspective, peace, and purpose.

• Time for a "timeout": This session was intentionally a pause to reflect, process, and realign with the journey so far. Life is like mountain climbing—you need rest stops.

• Tension is a gift. The restlessness many feel isn’t something to run from—it’s a signpost, revealing areas of needed growth or change.

• Fun must be reinvented. Especially as men age, meaningful recreation becomes something you must plan and pursue with intentionality.

• Finding your unique design matters. Robert introduces a future exercise (led by Bill Wellons) to help men discover what makes them come alive and how they’re wired to thrive.

• Work is a means, not the end. Work should serve your life’s adventures—not be the thing that swallows them whole.

• It's okay to need change. For some, that may mean adjusting work roles; for others, it might require the bold step of changing jobs entirely.

• For younger men: Be realistic, pursue wise mentors, and take God seriously. Avoid chasing a dream version of manhood that leads to burnout or boredom.

• Not religion—relationship. Robert clarifies he’s not pushing religious tradition, but offering the Bible’s wisdom and the reality of a spiritual life with God.

• Genesis 1:28 – The foundational call to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth, revealing God’s original design for man’s adventures.

• Ecclesiastes 3:11 – God has set eternity in the human heart.

• Ecclesiastes 2:24, 5:18, 9:9 – Emphasize enjoying one’s work and life as gifts from God.

• Third John 1:4 – “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

• John 10:10 – Jesus promises life, and life abundantly.

• Augustine (quoted): “There is a God-shaped vacuum in every human heart that can only be filled by God.”